Is He Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
• WHAT’S WRONG WH BEG “GAY”? HERE’S WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU -- AND ’S REALLY DISTURBG.
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• WHY IS HOMOSEXUALY A S IF BEG GAY IS JT WHO I AM?
• IS BEG GAY A S?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• THERE IS NO ‘GAY GENE.’ THERE IS NO ‘STRAIGHT GENE.’ SEXUALY IS JT PLEX, STUDY NFIRMS
• WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?
• IS HE GAY?
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)

One of your top ten experienc was at a Pri para where you were surround by the most tertg, fun strangers you have ever enuntered, and no one you knew was there to judge you, or the only people you knew there were gay. It has bee accepted wisdom most pole circl – as well as schools, ernment, rporate Ameri, and certaly the popular culture – that homosexual behavr is a normal and natural variatn of life. As Gabriel Rotello—thor of Sexual Elogy: AIDS and the Dty of Gay Men and founr of OutWeek Magaze—wrote, “sexual brotherhood of promiscuy … any abandonment of that promiscuy would amount to a munal betrayal of gargantuan proportns.

Rotello also said, “A stranger to gay culture, unaware of the realy of AIDS, might believe om much of the gay prs that HIV fectn was a sort of elixir that produced high self-teem, solved long-standg psychologil and substance abe problems, and enhanced physil appearance … creatg the subnsc imprsn that fectn—the ‘penalty’ of unsafe sex—is really not so bad after all. O’Leary wr, “Gay bars, gay bookstor, theaters, certa rort muni, and circu parti have tradnally provid venu where MSM uld engage var forms of sexual activy wh numero partners. It very much appears that same-sex sexual attractn is not a choice but actg on is; so if you fe gay as the mere prence of same-sex attractn, then om everythg we unrstand, beg gay is not a choice.

WHAT’S WRONG WH BEG “GAY”? HERE’S WHAT THEY DON’T TELL YOU -- AND ’S REALLY DISTURBG.

If, on the other hand, you nsir someone to be gay only if they act on their same-sex attractn then beg gay n be nsired a choice pendg on an dividual's behavr. A group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexuals get that tra om their oppose-sex parents: A lbian will almost always get the tra om her father, while a gay man will get the tra om his heredary lk of homosexualy has long been tablished, but scientists knew was not a strictly geic lk, bee there are many pairs of intil tws who have differg sexuali. Scientists om the Natnal Instute for Mathematil and Blogil Synthis say homosexualy seems to have an epigeic, not a geic thought to have some sort of heredary lk, a group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexualy is lked to epi-marks — extra layers of rmatn that ntrol how certa gen are exprsed.

In homosexuals, the epi-marks aren't erased — they're passed om father-to-dghter or mother-to-son, explas William Rice, an evolutnary blogist at the Universy of California Santa Barbara and lead thor of the study.

"There is pellg evince that epi-marks ntribute to both the siary and dissiary of fay members, and n therefore feasibly ntribute to the observed faial herance of homosexualy and s low nrdance between [intil] tws, " Rice and his team created a mathematil mol that explas why homosexualy is passed through epi-marks, not geics.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

Evolutnarily speakg, if homosexualy was solely a geic tra, scientists would expect the tra to eventually disappear bee homosexuals wouldn't be expected to reproduce.

But bee the epi-marks provi an evolutnary advantage for the parents of homosexuals: They protect fathers of homosexuals om unrexposure to ttosterone and mothers of homosexuals om overexposure to ttosterone while they are gtatn. "The epi-marks protect fathers and mothers om excs or unrexposure to ttosterone — when they rry over to oppose-sex offsprg, n e the masculizatn of femal or the femizatn of mal, " Rice says, which n lead to a child beg gay.

SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY

Rice not that the markers are "highly variable" and that only strong epi-marks will rult a homosexual scientists have long spected some sort of geic lk, Rice says studi attemptg to expla why people are gay have been few and far between.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

" Homosexual behavr has been observed black swans, pengus, sheep, and other animals, he 's mol still needs to be tted on real-life parent-offsprg pairs, but he says this epigeic lk mak more sense than any other explanatn, and that his team has mapped out a way for other scientists to tt their work. Do not be ceived: neher the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexualy, nor thiev, nor the greedy, nor dnkards, nor revilers, nor swdlers will her the kgdom of God.

We are agast any s that rtras people om everlastg joy God, and homosexual practice jt gets all the prs bee, at this cultural moment, ’s the ma s that is so hly endorsed our ntext by the powers that be. If you have had romantic experienc or fantasi volvg people who are the same genr as you, then there is a good chance you are gay or bisexual, but 's okay if you're a ltle nfed.

WHY IS HOMOSEXUALY A S IF BEG GAY IS JT WHO I AM?

Yet the ial fdgs om my terviews wh 40 gay youth om four universi suggts a more plex picture, wh no clear agreement on what the phrase means or s effects.

IS BEG GAY A S?

For them, gay had two distct meangs which they were able to distguish between – when refers to sexual inty and when refers, separately, to somethg beg “bbish”. I argued that straight men’s e of phras like “that’s so gay” uld only be unrstood by three key factors: first, the tent wh which was said; send, the social ntext (homophobic or otherwise); and third, the effect had. But when is said settgs where sexual mori are out, proud and socially clud, and heterosexual men are iends wh their openly gay peers, tak on different meangs.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

If young gay people are sayg that they do not experience the phrase “that’s so gay” as homophobic – and if they are even g the phrase themselv – then perhaps we should accept their arguments and ncentrate on other battl. ” (Ephians 4:​14) Instead, they base their view of homosexual nduct (and any other kd of nduct, for that matter) on the standards set forth the Bible.

Those who are sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, men who subm to homosexual acts, men who practice homosexualy, thiev, greedy people, dnkards, revilers, and extortners will not her God’s Kgdom.

In 1993, a study published the journal Science showed that fai wh two homosexual brothers were very likely to have certa geic markers on a regn of the X chromosome known as Xq28. Some people might argue that if you are “geilly gay” but the thought of homosexualy nseat you, then you jt haven’t accepted the fact that you really are gay. That argument is based on the assumptn that sexual preference is purely blogil; therefore, has no place a discsn about the possible of homosexualy.

THERE IS NO ‘GAY GENE.’ THERE IS NO ‘STRAIGHT GENE.’ SEXUALY IS JT PLEX, STUDY NFIRMS

In 1991, a study published the journal Science seemed to show that the hypothalam, which ntrols the release of sex hormon om the puary gland, gay men differs om the hypothalam straight men. PET and MRI studi performed 2008 have shown that the two halv of the bra are more symmetril homosexual men and heterosexual women than heterosexual men and homosexual women. The studi have also revealed that nnectns the amygdalas of gay men remble those of straight women; gay women, nnectns the amygdala remble those of straight men.

Today, however, we know much more about the bra than we did when homosexualy was nsired a disease that required treatment, and the amount of knowledge that we have about the bra is creasg.

If we fe beg gay as engagg homosexual behavr (the ncept of “gay” as an inty is a Wtern cultural ncept – people who have sex wh both men and women may ll themselv gay, straight or bisexual, pendg on the l of their culture or subculture), then people stop beg gay as soon as they stop engagg this behavr. I believe that people have the right to engage any behavr that they choose, as long as their actns do not harm others, and I believe that gay sex and gay relatnships do not e harm to anyone.

WHY WOULD PEOPLE 'CHOOSE' TO BE GAY?

(Of urse, there are abive and unhealthy gay relatnships that should not be tolerated, jt as there are unhealthy heterosexual relatnships that should not be tolerated. If sexual preference n be altered, then people who support gay rights n’t rely on the argument that gay people should be protected om discrimatn bee gay people have no choice but to be gay – an argument that seems like an apology for homosexualy, as if homosexualy is a disease for which there is no cure.

Jt as gay people who are happy as they are should not be forced to change their sexual orientatn, gay people who want to be straight should have the right to change if they n – and the rrect word is “change” – not “cure”. Photo creds: Vanuver Gay Pri Para 2008 by edallaluna on Wikimedia Commons; DNA by ynse on Wikimedia Commons; Bra fMRI by views exprsed are those of the thor(s) and are not necsarily those of Scientific Amerin. Even if they agree wh the Bible that homosexualy is a s and rolve not to seek fulfillment of their sexual sir, they mt still fd love other relatnships—the self-sacrificg love of agape and the iendly pannship of phileo.

IS HE GAY?

Wh the past fifty years, the term gay, as applied to homosexualy, has explod to mastream culture, and we are told that “beg gay” is as much outsi one’s ntrol as “beg short” or havg blon hair. The problem wh same-sex attractn, or the feelg of “beg gay, ” is that is an attractn to somethg God has forbidn, and any sire for somethg sful ultimately has s roots s.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

In elementary and middle schools, is now fashnable to ll onelf “gay” or “bi” or e any number of other faddish sexual labels whout any real unrstandg of their meang—or of the moral and eternal implitns. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.