GoodTherapy | Am I Gay or Bisexual?

Contents:

• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• AM I GAY, STRAIGHT, LBIAN, BISEXUAL OR LGBTQ+?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• QUIZ: HOW GAY ARE YOU, REALLY?
• ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER
• AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?
• AM I GAY OR BISEXUAL?
• AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY
• KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. I me out at a nservative Christian llege the US and was a gay relatnship for around two years wh a basketball player who end up marryg a woman. Well, you mt have been gay the whole time, some might thk, and bee of some relig shame, you cid to lie to yourself and experiment wh a girl.

But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

” Around the same time, the Human Rights Campaign clared unequivolly that “Beg gay is not a choice, ” and to claim that is “giv unwarranted crence to roundly disproven practic such as nversn or reparative therapy. ”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. “Such statements, ” she wr, “fe blogil acunts wh an obligatory and nearly ercive force, suggtg that anyone who scrib homosexual sire as a choice or social nstctn is playg to the hands of the enemy.

AM I GAY, STRAIGHT, LBIAN, BISEXUAL OR LGBTQ+?

” People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backward – even if they are themselv, for example, Cynthia Nixon of Sex and The Cy fame.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Callg me “idtic” and “patently absurd”, Aravosis wrote, “The gay haters at the relig right uldn’t have wrten any better.

”Gay rights do not have to hge on a geic explanatn for sexualy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)For Aravosis, and many gay activists like him, the public will only accept and affirm gay people if they thk they were born gay. Patrick Grzanka, Assistant Profsor of Psychology at Universy of Tennsee, for stance, has shown that some people who believe that homosexualy is nate still hold negative views of gays.

In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance. “It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists. Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

And when I published my say on choosg to be gay, an irate Amerin lbian activist wrote me that had “jt been nfirmed” to her that my wrg was “directly rponsible for four gay aths Rsia. There is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejectedLet’s first be clear that whatever the origs of our sexual orientatn, there is a unanimo opn that gay “nversn therapy” should be rejected.

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure.

The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

QUIZ: HOW GAY ARE YOU, REALLY?

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way? Another landmark paper on the origs of homosexualy was published 1993 by a geicist named Dean Hamer, who was terted to learn whether homosexualy uld be hered. Begng om his observatn that there are more gay relativ on a mother’s si than a father’s, Hamer turned his attentn to the X chromosome (which is passed on by the mother).

Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at.

ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER

”The other problem wh Born This Way science is summed up nicely by Simon Copland: “Scientists are askg whether homosexualy is natural when we n’t even agree exactly what homosexualy is. ” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men. Gay men make up only a actn of the US populatn — yet Ward says that there are many men not clud that number who engage homosexual behavr.

That’s bee terms like ‘heterosexual’ and ‘straight’ and ‘bisexual’ and ‘gay’ e wh all sorts of cultural baggage attached. Ccially, she argu, “whether or not this baggage is appealg is a separate matter altogether om the appeal of homosexual or heterosexual sex. ”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc.

Ward thks this qutn is the next ontier of queer I first said I chose to be gay, a queer Amerin journalist challenged me to name the time and date of my choice. I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy.

AM I GAY? HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY?

I want to be very clear: I’m not claimg I simply began to ‘grow to’ my homosexualy, or that as I beme more fortable wh beg gay, I allowed myself the eedom to exprs what had always been latent wh me. “Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric? Sendly, the entire search for a gay gene is predited upon the assumptn that homosexualy is not the natural or ‘flt’ state of a velopg human.

AM I GAY OR BISEXUAL?

“That’s a very narrow unrstandg of what jtice looks like, ” says about the ncern that homophob will want to ‘enurage’ gay people to be straight if there’s no blogil basis for sexualy? It don’t take too much creativy to image a scenar which homophobic parents, upon beg rmed their fet has ‘the gay gene’, choose what to them may seem the lser of two evils: abortn. ”Acrdg to surveys, ls than half of Generatn Z intify as "100% heterosexual", suggtg more and more people have embraced their sexual fluidy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Perhaps is time to look to the begng of the gay rights movement.

“Then there was a shift, and the lears of the movement chose to jump on board wh a ls nuanced argument that people already unrstood: jt like race, people are born wh their homosexualy. Some experts have even started g tegori like ‘mostly straight’ and ‘mostly gay’ to try and expand our limed ways of viewg human sexualy.

AM I GAY? QUIZ – 100% RELIABLE TT

” Rponnts were asked to rate themselv on a sle om zero (which signified “pletely straight”) to six (“pletely homosexual”).

More than a third chose a number between one and rponse to the poll, one of my Facebook iends quipped about how natural selectn mt be workg overtime, what wh makg all of gay! I’m thankful for a new generatn that is pable of imagg sexualy a way that transcends the gay/straight bary, that uldn’t re ls about what happened to their bodi and mds to make them who they are today.

Gay - While this adjective has historilly scribed men who are attracted to other men, the term now is ed to refer to anyone who experienc romantic, emotnal, or physil attractn to people of the same genr.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

Give a go!Wh this tt, you n fd out where you lie on the spectm of heterosexual, homosexual, allosexual, and asexual. If you're nfed, or otherwise jt cur - why not try out?Why are you takg this tt?Jt for funI'm spic that I may be gayI've never had a csh on anyone, and am unsure where I lie on the spectm of sexualyWhat would your ial partner be if you two are gog to spend a week on an island?Oppose sexSame sexEher would be fe, as long as we get alongI've never nsired Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex as yourself?Y, and I enjoyed Y, but I was dnk / was a dareY, but I didn't enjoy NeverWhen nsirg only the body, which is more objectively attractive your opn?My own genrThe oppose genrBoth have their mersNeher are particularly eye-tchgDo you like the ia of kissg someone, male or female?Y, that sounds niceNo, that mak me unfortableI feel pletely ntral on the subjectHave you ever experienced sexual attractn?Y, all the timeI thk so, once or twiceNeverI'm unsure exactly what meansHow do you feel when you see actors / actrs kissg on screen?If 's a straight uple, 's fe. How do you feel?Disgted or unfortableConfedAroedI'd enjoy NtralHow do you differentiate very close iends om potential partners?I'm sexually attracted to potential partnersThere's a romantic spark wh potential partnersI stggle to fd a differenceWhich of the followg would make you most happy?Havg sex wh the person I love mostCuddlg wh the person I love mostJt beg next to the person I love mostHangg out wh iends / beg aloneHow would you feel if your bt iend me out as gay?UnfortableA ltle sickRelievedI'd feel nothg; wouldn't matter to meWhen you see attractive upl pictur or real life, who do you notice first?The same genr as my ownThe oppose genrBoth equallyI don't unrstand the qutnHow much do sex a relatnship matter for you?I thk 's necsary to tly be togetherI uldn't live whout I uld live whout I'd rather not have Do both genrs seem sexually attractive to you?YIn their own way, I gusOnly my own genrOnly the oppose genrI don't see the appealWhat is your ial equency of sex?More than once per day2-6 tim per week2-8 tim per monthLs than twice per monthI jt hate Wordle UnlimedYour Sexual Orientatn Tt Rult:To see how other people sred on this tt, please follow our Facebook Page.Try aga.

While many gay and lbian people say they always knew, that’s not always the se and there are jt as many adults who e out later life. But how do you know if you are gay (or any of the wonrful inti along the LGBTQ+ spectm and Ksey Sle - om bisexual and pansexual to queer), or jt gog through a perd of qutng your sexual orientatn?

Sadly we live a culture which giv the ia that 's more “normal” or “better” to be straight than is to be gay, bisexual, pansexual, queer, etc.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

Bee sexualy is so plex and nstantly evolvg, there unfortunately is no one way to be sure whether you are ‘really’ straight, gay, lbian, bisexual, pansexual or queer.

We n be attracted to people irrpective of their genr, do not mean we need to label ourselv as gay, straight, pansexual - unls we choose to do so, ’ explas Marianne Oak, lead unsellor for and a specialist sexualy, genr and diverse relatnships.

For Lewis Oakley, who intifi as bisexual, movg to London aged 19 was the first time he ever saw gay people " actn".

KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

'I intified as gay for about a afterwards, until I moved to London and met one or two women that I was attracted to. Oak says If you are a monogamo relatnship and have feelgs of guilt which are impactg you, you may be experiencg ternalised homophobia. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

There isn't any need to change yourself - beg gay is jt another way of simply existg, and there is nothg wrong wh at all. Beg gay do not necsarily make you any ls mascule or feme, and there is no need or prsure to nform to stereotyp that don't feel right to you - bee you are who you are.