I Tried To Stop My Son From Beg Gay. I Wish I Hadn't

"His life will be so different om me, but I n’t help but worry. Until every untry the world allows gay marriage and giv everyone equal rights, I will always be sred." * i love my gay son *

He had seemed kd of lost his new life – phg 60, recently divorced om my mother, recently out of the closet as gay man. He asked that I march wh him, alongsi the other gay fathers and their kids, the Los Angel Pri Para. What I do remember was that someone had ma T-shirts that said "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" and I refed to wear one.

I told my dad, “I love you, but not bee you’re gay. ” The tth, though, is that I lacked the urage to stand all the way up for my father and his ras agast a homophobic and different world. I probably left my "I LOVE MY GAY DAD" T-shirt next to the box had e out of, though I might have taken home wh me and buried a drawer.

JT BEE HE BREATH: LEARNG TO TLY LOVE OUR GAY SON

Danny Cortez, once a Southern Baptist mister, did do more than accept his gay son: He cid to talk to his ngregatn about homosexualy, even though ultimately meant his leavg the church. * i love my gay son *

Pete Wilson’s office, or at the Natnal March on Washgton for Lbian and Gay dad and his hband lost a lot of iends to AIDS. Even when I was an obnox 22-year-old and wouldn’t put on a T-shirt to clare, unashamed, unembarrassed and unapologetic, that I love my gay dad. By now u probably have an ia of what i am about to I am gayRyan: i n’t believe i jt told youMom: Are you jokg?

Ryan: i know i amRyan: i don’t like hannahRyan: ’s jt a ver-upMom: but that don’t make you gay…Ryan: i knowRyan: but u don’t unrstandRyan: i am gayMom: tell me moreRyan: ’s jt the way i am and ’s somethg i knowRyan: u r not a lbian and u know that. Ryan: i am jt gayRyan: i am thatMom: I love you no matter whatRyan: i am whe not blackRyan: i knowRyan: i am a boy not a girlRyan: i am attracted to boys not girlsRyan: u know that about yourself and i know thisMom: what about what God thks about actg on the sir?

WHAT IF MY 4-YEAR-OLD SON IS GAY LIKE ME?

My Dead Gay Son Lyrics: You wa jt a mute, Pl! It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that mak this world a place our boys uld not live ! / (sung) / They were not dirty! / They were not * i love my gay son *

Not that we didn’t know and love gay people — my only brother had e out to several years before, and we adored him. I tried to pray the gay away wh my teenage son.

The feelgs you’ve had for other guys don’t make you gay. So please don’t tell anyone that you ARE gay. Your inty is not that you are gay — is that you are a child of love you.

WHEN HIS SON CAME OUT AS GAY, THIS PASTOR DELIVERED A SERMON OF SUPPORT

He read all the Christian books that explaed where his gay feelgs me om and dove to unselg to further disver the orig of his unwanted attractn to other guys. And we lost the abily to love our gay son, bee we no longer had a gay son. What we had wished, prayed and hoped for — that we would not have a gay son — me te.

But not at all the way we had, when I thk back on the fear that erned all my reactns durg those first six years after Ryan told he was gay, I crge as I realize how foolish I was. Now, whenever Rob and I jo our gay iends for an eveng, I thk about how much I would love to be visg wh Ryan and his partner over dner. By now u probably have an ia of what i am about to says: I am gayRyan says: i n't believe i jt told youMom says: Are you jokg?

MY SON MIGHT BE GAY. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO HIM?

Ryan says: i know i amRyan says: i don't like hannahRyan says: 's jt a ver-upMom says: but that don't make you says: i knowRyan says: but u don't unrstandRyan says: i am gayMom says: tell me moreRyan says: 's jt the way i am and 's somethg i knowRyan says: u r not a lbian and u know that. Ryan says: i am jt gayRyan says: i am thatMom says: I love you no matter whatRyan says: i am whe not blackRyan says: i knowRyan says: i am a boy not a girlRyan says: i am attracted to boys not girlsRyan says: u know that about yourself and i know thisMom says: what about what God thks about actg on the sir?

Not that we didn't know and love gay people; my only brother had e out to several years before, and we adored him. The feelgs you've had for other guys don't make you gay. So please don't tell anyone that you are gay.

Your inty is not that you are gay; is that you are a child of love you.

MY DEAD GAY SONHEATHERS THE MIL ENSEMBLETRACK 10 ON HEATHERS: THE MIL (WORLD PREMIERE CAST RERDG) FEATURGDANIEL COONEY & ANTHONY CRIVELLOPRODUCED BYMICHAEL CROER, KEV MURPHY & 1 MOREAT RAM & KURT’S FUNERAL, THEIR HOMOPHOBIC DADS E TO TERMS WH THE IA THAT THEIR SONS WERE GAY, AND FACT E OUT THEMSELV.JUN. 9, 20141 VIEWER174.3K VIEWS72 CONTRIBUTORSTRANSLATNSFRANçAISMY DEAD GAY SON LYRICS[RAM'S DAD, SPOKEN]YOU WA JT A MUTE, PL! IT IS IGNORANT, HATEFUL TALK LIKE YOURS THAT MAK THIS WORLD A PLACE OUR BOYS ULD NOT LIVE !(SUNG)THEY WERE NOT DIRTY!THEY WERE NOT WRONG!THEY WERE TWO LONELY VERSIN THE LORD'S GREAT SONG![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]OUR BOYS WERE PANSI, BILL![RAM'S DAD]Y!MY BOY'S A HOMOSEXUALAND THAT DON'T SRE ME NONE—I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW...I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!(SPOKEN)I'VE BEEN THKG. PRAYG. READG SOME MAGAZ. AND 'S TIME WE OPENED OUR EY!(SUNG)WELL, THE GOOD LORD MA THE UNIVERSETHE LORD CREATED MANAND I BELIEVE 'S ALL A PART OF HIS GIGANTIC PLANI KNOW GOD HAS A REASONFOR EACH MOUNTA AND EACH FLOWERAND WHY HE CHOSE TO LET OUR BOYS GET BY THE SHOWER!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—THEY WERE NOT US!THEY WERE JT TWO STRAY LAC THE LORD'S BIG BOOTSWELL, I NEVER RED FOR HOMOS MUCH UNTIL I REARED ME ONEYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON![CONGREGATION]HE LOV HIS SONHE LOV HIS SONHIS AD GAY SON![RAM'S DAD]NOW, I SAY MY BOY'S HEAVEN!AND HE'S TANNG BY THE POOLTHE CHEBIM WALK WH HIM AND HIM, AND J SAYS 'S OL!THEY DON'T HAVE CRIME OR HATRED, THERE'S NO BIGOTRY OR CURS' -JT IENDLY FELLOWS DRSED UP LIKE THEIR FAV'RE VILLAGE PERSON!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—[CONGREGATION]NO, NO![RAM’S DAD]THEY JT HAD FLAIR![CONGREGATION]WHOA![RAM’S DAD]THEY WERE TWO BRIGHT RED RIBBONS THE LORD'S LONG HAIRWELL, I ED TO SEE A HOMO AND GO REACH' FOR MY GUN[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]AND FURTHERMORE!THE BOYS WERE BRAVE AS HELL!THE BOYS , THEY KNEW DAMN WELL!THOSE FOLKS WOULD JUDGE 'EM, THEY WERE SPERATE TO BE EE!THEY TOOK A REBEL STANCE, STRIPPED TO THEIR UNRPANTS!PL, I N'T BELIEVE THAT YOUSTILL REFE TO GET A CLUEAFTER ALL THAT WE BEEN THROUGH—(SPOKEN)I'M TALK’ YOU AND ME!IN THE SUMMER OF '83![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A FISHG TRIP[CONGREGATION]WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOAWHOA, WHOA, WHOA!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—NO!AND NOT PERVERSE—NO, NO!THEY WERE JT TWO STRAY RHTONON THE LORD'S BIG PURSE![BOTH DADS]OUR JOB IS NOW NTUG THE WORK THAT THEY BEGUN![CONGREGATION]'CSE NOW WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!WE LOVE YOUR AD—[RAM’S DAD]THEY'RE UP THERE DIS DANCG TO THE THUMP OF ANGEL WGS![KURT’S DAD]THEY GRAB A MATE…[RAM’S DAD]AND ROLLER SKATE—[BOTH DADS]WHILE JUDY GARLAND SGS![RAM’S DAD]THEY LIVE A PLAYFUL AFTERLIFE THAT'S FANCY-EE AND RECKLS![KURT'S DAD]THEY SWG UPON THE PEARLY GAT—[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]AND WEAR A PEARLY NECKLACE![CONGREGATION]WHOO![BOTH DADS]THEY WERE NOT DIRTY![CONGREGATION]NO![BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]THEY WERE GOOD MEN!AND NOW THEY'RE HAPPY BEAR CUBS THE LORD'S BIG N![BOTH DADS]GO FORTH AND LOVE EACH OTHER NOWLIKE OUR BOYS WOULD HAVE DONEWE'LL TEACH THE WORLD TO LOVE...[CONGREGATION]THE WORLD TO LOVE...[ALL]THE WORLD TO LOVE...[BOTH DADS OVERLAPPG WH NGREGATN]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!MY SON! MY SON![CONGREGATION]NOT HALF BAD, YOUR AD GAY SON!WISH I HAD YOUR AD GAY SON!THANK YOU, DAD, FOR YOUR...[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]DEAD! GAY! SON!5EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (LYRIC) AND BOLD (LYRIC) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

He read all the books that claimed to know where his gay feelgs me om, dove to unselg to further disver the whys of his unwanted attractn to other guys, worked through paful nflict rolutn wh my hband and me and built strong iendships wh other guys -- straight guys -- jt like the reparative therapy experts advised.

What we had wished for, prayed for, hoped for -- that we would not have a gay son -- me te. 14, 2013, which would have been Ryan's 24th is now posted, along wh other blog posts, at sonGay ChildrenLGBT kidsParents Of Gay kidsgay kids. As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart.

MY DEAD GAY SONLRENCE O’KEEFE & KEV MURPHYTRACK 11 ON HEATHERS THE MIL (ORIGAL WT END CAST RERDG) FEATURGHEATHERS THE MIL ENSEMBLE, JON BOYDON & 1 MOREMAR. 1, 20191 VIEWER12.9K VIEWS16 CONTRIBUTORSMY DEAD GAY SON LYRICS[RAM'S DAD, SPOKEN]YOU WA JT A MUTE, PL! IT IS IGNORANT, HATEFUL TALK LIKE YOURS THAT MAK THIS WORLD A PLACE OUR BOYS ULD NOT LIVE !THEY WERE NOT DIRTY!THEY WERE NOT WRONG!(SUNG)THEY WERE TWO LONELY VERSIN THE LORD'S GREAT SONG![KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]OUR BOYS WERE PANSI, BILL![RAM'S DAD]Y!MY BOY'S A HOMOSEXUALAND THAT DON'T SRE ME NONE—I WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW...I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!(SPOKEN)I'VE BEEN THKG. PRAYG. READG SOME MAGAZ. AND 'S TIME WE OPENED OUR EY!(SUNG)WELL, THE GOOD LORD MA GAY PENGUSAND GAY BONOBO CHIMPANZEI’VE SEEN GAY LNS SHOW THEIR PRI DOCUMENTARIIF NATURE GETS HER ORRSHAND DOWN OM GOD ABOVETHEN ANIMAL OR HUMANYOU N’T HELP THE ONE YOU LOVETHEY WERE NOT DIRTY—THEY WERE NOT US!THEY WERE JT TWO STRONG LAC THE LORD'S BIG BOOTSWELL, I NEVER RED FOR HOMOS MUCH UNTIL I REARED ME ONEYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON![CONGREGATION]HE LOV HIS SONHE LOV HIS SONHIS AD GAY SON![RAM'S DAD]NOW, I SAY MY BOY'S HEAVEN!AND HE'S TANNG BY THE POOLTHE CHEBIM WALK HIM AND HIM, AND J SAYS 'S OL!THEY DON'T HAVE CRIME OR HATRED, THERE'S NO BIGOTRY OR CURS' -JT IENDLY FELLOWS DRSED UP LIKE THEIR FAV'RE VILLAGE PERSON!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—[CONGREGATION]WHOA![RAM’S DAD]THEY JT HAD FLAIR![CONGREGATION]WHOA![RAM’S DAD]THEY WERE TWO BRIGHT RED RIBBONS THE LORD'S LONG HAIRWELL, I ED TO SEE A HOMO AND GO REACH' FOR MY GUN[RAM’S DAD & CONGREGATION]BUT NOW I'VE LEARNED TO LOVE…[RAM’S DAD]AND FURTHERMORE!THE BOYS WALKED HAND HAND!THE BOYS, THEY TOOK A STAND!THEY ULD NOT WAONE SEND LONGER TO BE EE!THEY ST OFF THEIR DISGUISENO SHAME, NO PROMISE!PL, I N'T BELIEVE THAT YOUSTILL REFE TO GET A CLUEAFTER ALL THAT WE BEEN THROUGH—(SPOKEN)I'M TALK’ YOU AND ME!(CONGREGATION GASP)IN THE SUMMER OF '83!(CONGREGATION GASP AGA)[KURT'S DAD, SPOKEN]THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A FISHG TRIP[CONGREGATION]WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOAWHOA, WHOA, WHOA!THEY WERE NOT DIRTY—WHOA!AND NOT PERVERSE—NO, NO!THEY WERE JT TWO SHY RHTONON THE LORD'S BIG PURSE![BOTH DADS]OUR JOB IS NOW NTUG THE WORK THAT THEY BEGUN![CONGREGATION]'CSE NOW WE LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!WE LOVE YOUR AD—[RAM’S DAD]THEY'RE UP THERE DIS DANCG TO THE THUMP OF ANGEL WGS!THEY GRAB A MATEAND ROLLER SKATEWHILE JUDY GARLAND SGS!THEY LIVE A JOYFUL AFTERLIFE THAT'S FANCY-EE AND RECKLS!THEY SWG UPON THE PEARLY GAT—AND WEAR A PEARLY NECKLACE![CONGREGATION]WHOO![BOTH DADS]THEY WERE NOT DIRTY![CONGREGATION]NO![BOTH DADS (CONGREGATION)]THEY WERE GOOD MEN! (WHOA!)AND NOW THEY'RE HAPPY BEAR CUBS THE LORD'S BIG N![BOTH DADS]GO FORTH AND LOVE EACH OTHER NOWLIKE OUR BOYS WOULD HAVE DONE[ALL]WE'LL TEACH THE WORLD TO LOVE...[BOTH DADS OVERLAPPG WH NGREGATN]I LOVE MY AD GAY SON!MY SON! MY SON![CONGREGATION]NOT HALF BAD, YOUR AD GAY SON!WISH I HAD YOUR AD GAY SON!THANK YOU, DAD, FOR YOUR...[BOTH DADS & CONGREGATION]DEAD! GAY! SON!EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (LYRIC) AND BOLD (LYRIC) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

I had spected at tim that he was gay. Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask.

HOW DO I LOVE MY GAY SON?

Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok. Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace.

" How do they pict gay people? React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

SHOULD CHRISTIANS “DISOWN” GAY SONS AND DGHTERS?

I was often told that only gay boys play wh girls. ” Partly to keep my fay and my iends om spectg that I was gay, and sendly, was jt easier. This was tough on me, already stgglg wh so many qutns about my sexualy, and not always feelg good about gay the 1970’s, when I grew up, was not easy, neher were the s before , for that matter.

I Don't Like My Son’s Boyiend — My Kid is Gay

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KEEPG THE FAH, AND LOVG YOUR GAY SON

MAGIC JOHNSON: I LOVE MY GAY SON