Meetg Your First Gay Friend | GQ

Contents:

• HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• IS MY GUY BT IEND GAY? AND GIVG ME HTS?
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS
• GAY BT FRIEND
• MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND
• IN ‘MY BT FRIEND’S WEDDG,’ I FOUND MY GAY ROLE MOL: JULIA ROBERTS
• IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY
• HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

Often an important first step troducg queer storyl to mastream dienc, the GBF trope had a tenncy to rerce stereotyp about gay men: that their only terts are makeovers, shoppg and drama, that their stggl and relatnships fa to the background unls they're supportg a straight person's story, and that they only exist to be wise oracl about love and LGBTQ+ reprentatn Hollywood improv both onscreen and behd the mera, movi and TV shows are gettg creasgly self-aware, creatg gay characters who provi the ic relief we love while tearg down outdated ias. Perhaps the earlit example of the classic Gay Bt Friend character is 1984 movie The Woman Red, a Gene Wilr edy about a married man who be obssed wh a mol (Kelly LeBrock) after he se her skirt get blown up by a wd grate, Marilyn Monroe-style. A mor character wh limed screen time, Buddy do w pots for beg portrayed as jt another one of the guys, who happens to be gay -- a big al for movi the 80s.

Rickie Vasquez (Wilson Cz) of ABC's short-lived cult classic My So-Called Life (1994-1995) is one of the first exampl of a gay character a high school ensemble seri -- but what mak him pecially noteworthy is that he challenged the Gay Bt Friend trope before was even a trope. Cz, an Ao-Puerto Rin man, was the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay character a leadg role an Amerin televisn show. While Rickie was bt iends wh straight girls at his school, the way his storyle alt wh homophobia and self-acceptance was years ahead of s time.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Helen Hunt stars as Carol, a sgle mom and his love tert who "mak him want to be a better man, " while former Talk Soup host Greg Knear surprised dienc wh his imprsive actg chops as Simon, the gay neighbor who be iends wh the curmudgeonly Simon, an artist, is badly beaten up by a iend of one of his mols, his agent (Cuba Goodg Jr. She enlists the help of her gay iend Gee (Rupert Everett), who drops everythg to fly to Chigo, pretends to be Jul' fiance to make Michael jealo, and trolls the hell out of her while dispensg nuggets of wisdom about her love is such a fantasy of a character that he may as well be a unirn, but Everett is jt so charmg about the whole thg.

"People playg gay characters jumpg up and down screamg that they're not gay, like that would somehow be a bad thg if they were.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

In The Object of My Affectn, New York social worker Na (Jennifer Aniston) is roommat wh Gee (Pl Rudd), a gay elementary school teacher. The flash-forward at the end, wh all the characters beg one big happy fay, was progrsive for s time; but the ia that a gay man uld be attracted to a woman if she plays her rds right is a b unfortable.

But then Abbie meets a guy who wants to get married and move to New York, and the romantic edy spirals to a bizarre urtroom drama as they fight over ctody of their Ebert gave the movie one star and lled "a garage sale of gay issu, " bombed at the box office, and Everett later revealed that led to the llapse of his iendship wh Madonna.

Ta Fey's 2004 high school edy is proof that the gay bt iend don't have to be an offensive or trivial character, bee what would Mean Girls even be whout "too gay to functn" Damian (Daniel Franze) and "big lbian csh" Janis (Lizzy Caplan)? (Y, Janis' classmat spread gay mors about her and she's datg a boy by the end of the movie, but we're not buyg for a send that she's heterosexual.

IS MY GUY BT IEND GAY? AND GIVG ME HTS?

Few straight actors play gay as well as Stanley Tucci 2006 film The Devil Wears Prada, about aspirg journalist Andy (Anne Hathaway) who gets a job at Vogue-spired Runway Magaze. As much as we love and appreciate Ryan Murphy's high school mil seri (2009-2015) as a formative experience for lennials everywhere, s portrayal of LGBTQ+ people ran to a few be fair, Chris Colfer's character Kurt was a TV breakthrough, offerg a much-need posive role mol to gay kids.

His relatnship wh Blae (Darren Criss) was one of the first tim we got to see two young gay characters kissg onscreen a mastream, fay-oriented edy, and we'll never fet the way his father Burt (Mike O'Malley) fied stereotyp by beg pletely supportive when Kurt me out to him. But his gossipy iendship wh Rachel (Lea Michele) and her hab of llg Kurt her "bt gay" had some crics wonrg if he was beg treated like an accsory, a bate that n set off Tumblr fandom shoutg match to this day. Chigo improv edy troupe The Send Cy left their mark wh Sassy Gay Friend, a viral YouTube sk starrg Brian Gallivan as a GBF who talks sense to Shakpearean hero and other women om ancient history.

Instead of him supportg the female lead, 's actually Olive (Emma Stone) who looks out for him, by pretendg to (loudly) have sex wh him at a party so he n keep homophobic bulli off his back until he n graduate high school. A llege ex-boyiend of Dunham's character Hannah, Elijah reveals that he's gay early Season 1 when she tri to fd out if he gave her HPV -- and then drops the memorable bombshell, "It was nice to see you.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

F., remiscent of Mean Girls and Not Another Teen fashn magaz clarg a Gay Bt Friend to be this season's hottt accsory, three would-be prom queens fight over recently outed stunt Tanner (Michael J. The movie featur gay culture ins like pop star JoJo, Will and Grace's Megan Mullally, and Natasha Lyonne of But I'm a Cheerlear and Orange Is the New Black fame. The Tough Fashn Edor and her Bchy Gay Sikick were revived yet aga Freeform's The Bold Type, wh Srlet Magaze EIC Jacquele (Melora Hard) and her assistant Andrew (Adam Caprlo).

The enuragg takeaway om this progrsive-md show, however, is that if your queer reprentatn also clus a bisexual, biracial lead character (Aisha Dee), her lbian Mlim love tert (Nikohl Boosheri), and a Black gay man who is head of the fashn partment (Stephen Conrad Moore), the GBF character stops beg a potentially harmful stereotype and be more of a playful wk at whe gay men. ")Like a te GBF, Donny seems to have no purpose beyond obssg over Natalie's love life and givg her a makeover montage scene -- but the good news is, when she fds her way back to the real world, turns out her neighbor really is gay and datg Bowen Yang. And you look great this at" -- but the dynamic is a lot better when 's all about gay/lbian solidary and makg fun of cluels straight people.

This stereotype has ed people to start lookg for their own GBFs, and ed some gay men to feel prsured to f themselv to that box. Jt like straight people, gay people n be fashnable or cluels, sporty or un-athletic, sassy or straight-laced, supportive or distant, iendly or gff, and any other mix of personaly tras. Even if you believe you mt have that flamboyant gay man to be your GBF, nsir first the person si––what you are lookg for is a te iend, not a rative accsory.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

Don't bee iends wh a gay person of a different genr, hopg to change them so they will "play for the other team" and start datg you. That's what this guy is tryg to figure a pretty tense Redd post, er ProbablyGay1 shar wh fellow Redd ers the story of his iendship and possible romance wh his bt iend, two formed an unlikely iendship high school when Ian was a "ol" guy who was "geilly blsed the facial partment, " and ProbablyGay1 was a self-proclaimed then, their iendship has really lated to what's fely a bt iendship, and what's also que possibly a very betiful fact, ProbablyGay1 explas that there are all sorts of signs that pot toward the directn of a "very betiful romance. "ProbablyGay1 even admted that Ian sends him "cute" texts while they're both away at llege, "like 'I miss you, ' 'Somethg remd me of you, ' etc.

GAY BT FRIEND

"Fally, what I fd as possibly the most plsible evince leang toward the two of them beg more than iends is that ProbablyGay1 is totally head-over-heels love wh Ian:I thk about Ian a lot. I don't really re how ProbablyGay1 choos to go about askg Ian about their relatnship, but I sure hope that he do me tell you, for starters, I thk all signs here pot to Ian feelg the same way. Dpe this apparent betrayal, when a 2003 TV movie tried to pat Ronald Reagan as a vilent homophobe, Hudson's former lover Marc Christian wrote an open letter to CBS, sayg, "The notn that Print Reagan was a homophobe strik me as silly beyond belief....

MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND

For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny. The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay? Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

IN ‘MY BT FRIEND’S WEDDG,’ I FOUND MY GAY ROLE MOL: JULIA ROBERTS

Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships.

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur.

Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors.

IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY

This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy. As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved.

I'm not sure what your personal experience was wh your bisexualy but when I was jt startg to thk maybe I'm gay, and someone asked me "are you gay? ---------- Post add 22nd Mar 2015 at 07:28 AM ----------Last night I went to a hangout, and I was textg him equently throughout the night, and my iends there always talk about if me and him are gay for each other. I realise that uld be pretty hard for you to e out to him, pecially bee you like him a lot but if you thk that he might be gay/bi and you open up to him, he might fd the urage to open up to you too.

Also I should pot out that if he is gettg annoyed at your perceived anti-gayns 's a good ditor that he's at least a straight ally if not actually part of the LGBT muny. " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet? Acceptance n make a huge different the liv of LGBTQIA (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people.

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was. It probably took a lot of urage for your iend to e out as gay, so tell them that you accept them for who they are to be a good iend. Subsequently, women wh more gay iends feel sexier and more self-nfint about their bodi by parison to women who don't have gay iends.

Perhaps unsurprisgly, women say their iendships wh gay people are more hont and secure than those wh straight dividuals, male or female. In other words, is the bond between straight women-gay man iends unique bee they n provi each other hont, unbiased romantic advice? The thors suggt the possibily that gay men may pete for mat the same way that straight women do wh each other, though they note remas to be studied.