Why Straight Women and Gay Men Make the Bt of Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• IS MY GUY BT IEND GAY? AND GIVG ME HTS?
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS
• GAY BT FRIEND
• MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND
• IN ‘MY BT FRIEND’S WEDDG,’ I FOUND MY GAY ROLE MOL: JULIA ROBERTS
• IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY
• HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

Often an important first step troducg queer storyl to mastream dienc, the GBF trope had a tenncy to rerce stereotyp about gay men: that their only terts are makeovers, shoppg and drama, that their stggl and relatnships fa to the background unls they're supportg a straight person's story, and that they only exist to be wise oracl about love and LGBTQ+ reprentatn Hollywood improv both onscreen and behd the mera, movi and TV shows are gettg creasgly self-aware, creatg gay characters who provi the ic relief we love while tearg down outdated ias.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Perhaps the earlit example of the classic Gay Bt Friend character is 1984 movie The Woman Red, a Gene Wilr edy about a married man who be obssed wh a mol (Kelly LeBrock) after he se her skirt get blown up by a wd grate, Marilyn Monroe-style. A mor character wh limed screen time, Buddy do w pots for beg portrayed as jt another one of the guys, who happens to be gay -- a big al for movi the 80s.

Rickie Vasquez (Wilson Cz) of ABC's short-lived cult classic My So-Called Life (1994-1995) is one of the first exampl of a gay character a high school ensemble seri -- but what mak him pecially noteworthy is that he challenged the Gay Bt Friend trope before was even a trope.

Cz, an Ao-Puerto Rin man, was the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay character a leadg role an Amerin televisn show.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

While Rickie was bt iends wh straight girls at his school, the way his storyle alt wh homophobia and self-acceptance was years ahead of s time.

IS MY GUY BT IEND GAY? AND GIVG ME HTS?

Helen Hunt stars as Carol, a sgle mom and his love tert who "mak him want to be a better man, " while former Talk Soup host Greg Knear surprised dienc wh his imprsive actg chops as Simon, the gay neighbor who be iends wh the curmudgeonly Simon, an artist, is badly beaten up by a iend of one of his mols, his agent (Cuba Goodg Jr. She enlists the help of her gay iend Gee (Rupert Everett), who drops everythg to fly to Chigo, pretends to be Jul' fiance to make Michael jealo, and trolls the hell out of her while dispensg nuggets of wisdom about her love is such a fantasy of a character that he may as well be a unirn, but Everett is jt so charmg about the whole thg.

"People playg gay characters jumpg up and down screamg that they're not gay, like that would somehow be a bad thg if they were.

In The Object of My Affectn, New York social worker Na (Jennifer Aniston) is roommat wh Gee (Pl Rudd), a gay elementary school teacher.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

The flash-forward at the end, wh all the characters beg one big happy fay, was progrsive for s time; but the ia that a gay man uld be attracted to a woman if she plays her rds right is a b unfortable. But then Abbie meets a guy who wants to get married and move to New York, and the romantic edy spirals to a bizarre urtroom drama as they fight over ctody of their Ebert gave the movie one star and lled "a garage sale of gay issu, " bombed at the box office, and Everett later revealed that led to the llapse of his iendship wh Madonna. Ta Fey's 2004 high school edy is proof that the gay bt iend don't have to be an offensive or trivial character, bee what would Mean Girls even be whout "too gay to functn" Damian (Daniel Franze) and "big lbian csh" Janis (Lizzy Caplan)?

(Y, Janis' classmat spread gay mors about her and she's datg a boy by the end of the movie, but we're not buyg for a send that she's heterosexual.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

Few straight actors play gay as well as Stanley Tucci 2006 film The Devil Wears Prada, about aspirg journalist Andy (Anne Hathaway) who gets a job at Vogue-spired Runway Magaze. As much as we love and appreciate Ryan Murphy's high school mil seri (2009-2015) as a formative experience for lennials everywhere, s portrayal of LGBTQ+ people ran to a few be fair, Chris Colfer's character Kurt was a TV breakthrough, offerg a much-need posive role mol to gay kids.

His relatnship wh Blae (Darren Criss) was one of the first tim we got to see two young gay characters kissg onscreen a mastream, fay-oriented edy, and we'll never fet the way his father Burt (Mike O'Malley) fied stereotyp by beg pletely supportive when Kurt me out to him. But his gossipy iendship wh Rachel (Lea Michele) and her hab of llg Kurt her "bt gay" had some crics wonrg if he was beg treated like an accsory, a bate that n set off Tumblr fandom shoutg match to this day. Chigo improv edy troupe The Send Cy left their mark wh Sassy Gay Friend, a viral YouTube sk starrg Brian Gallivan as a GBF who talks sense to Shakpearean hero and other women om ancient history.

GAY BT FRIEND

Instead of him supportg the female lead, 's actually Olive (Emma Stone) who looks out for him, by pretendg to (loudly) have sex wh him at a party so he n keep homophobic bulli off his back until he n graduate high school. A llege ex-boyiend of Dunham's character Hannah, Elijah reveals that he's gay early Season 1 when she tri to fd out if he gave her HPV -- and then drops the memorable bombshell, "It was nice to see you. F., remiscent of Mean Girls and Not Another Teen fashn magaz clarg a Gay Bt Friend to be this season's hottt accsory, three would-be prom queens fight over recently outed stunt Tanner (Michael J.

The movie featur gay culture ins like pop star JoJo, Will and Grace's Megan Mullally, and Natasha Lyonne of But I'm a Cheerlear and Orange Is the New Black fame.

MEETG YOUR FIRST GAY FRIEND

The Tough Fashn Edor and her Bchy Gay Sikick were revived yet aga Freeform's The Bold Type, wh Srlet Magaze EIC Jacquele (Melora Hard) and her assistant Andrew (Adam Caprlo). The enuragg takeaway om this progrsive-md show, however, is that if your queer reprentatn also clus a bisexual, biracial lead character (Aisha Dee), her lbian Mlim love tert (Nikohl Boosheri), and a Black gay man who is head of the fashn partment (Stephen Conrad Moore), the GBF character stops beg a potentially harmful stereotype and be more of a playful wk at whe gay men.

")Like a te GBF, Donny seems to have no purpose beyond obssg over Natalie's love life and givg her a makeover montage scene -- but the good news is, when she fds her way back to the real world, turns out her neighbor really is gay and datg Bowen Yang.

And you look great this at" -- but the dynamic is a lot better when 's all about gay/lbian solidary and makg fun of cluels straight people.

IN ‘MY BT FRIEND’S WEDDG,’ I FOUND MY GAY ROLE MOL: JULIA ROBERTS

This stereotype has ed people to start lookg for their own GBFs, and ed some gay men to feel prsured to f themselv to that box. Jt like straight people, gay people n be fashnable or cluels, sporty or un-athletic, sassy or straight-laced, supportive or distant, iendly or gff, and any other mix of personaly tras. Even if you believe you mt have that flamboyant gay man to be your GBF, nsir first the person si––what you are lookg for is a te iend, not a rative accsory.

Don't bee iends wh a gay person of a different genr, hopg to change them so they will "play for the other team" and start datg you.

That's what this guy is tryg to figure a pretty tense Redd post, er ProbablyGay1 shar wh fellow Redd ers the story of his iendship and possible romance wh his bt iend, two formed an unlikely iendship high school when Ian was a "ol" guy who was "geilly blsed the facial partment, " and ProbablyGay1 was a self-proclaimed then, their iendship has really lated to what's fely a bt iendship, and what's also que possibly a very betiful fact, ProbablyGay1 explas that there are all sorts of signs that pot toward the directn of a "very betiful romance. "ProbablyGay1 even admted that Ian sends him "cute" texts while they're both away at llege, "like 'I miss you, ' 'Somethg remd me of you, ' etc.

IN LOVE WH MY BT IEND, BUT HE'S GAY

"Fally, what I fd as possibly the most plsible evince leang toward the two of them beg more than iends is that ProbablyGay1 is totally head-over-heels love wh Ian:I thk about Ian a lot. I don't really re how ProbablyGay1 choos to go about askg Ian about their relatnship, but I sure hope that he do me tell you, for starters, I thk all signs here pot to Ian feelg the same way.

Dpe this apparent betrayal, when a 2003 TV movie tried to pat Ronald Reagan as a vilent homophobe, Hudson's former lover Marc Christian wrote an open letter to CBS, sayg, "The notn that Print Reagan was a homophobe strik me as silly beyond belief....

For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.