Adult Children of Gay and Lbian Parents: Relign and the Parent-Child Relatnship - PMC

Contents:

• LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
• WHAT DO THE SCHOLARLY REARCH SAY ABOUT THE WELL-BEG OF CHILDREN WH GAY OR LBIAN PARENTS?
• KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS
• ADULT CHILDREN OF GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS: RELIGN AND THE PARENT-CHILD RELATNSHIP
• CHILDREN OF LBIAN AND GAY PARENTS
• LEARNG THAT AN ADOLCENT CHILD IS GAY OR LBIAN: THE PARENT EXPERIENCE

LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG

Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).

WHAT DO THE SCHOLARLY REARCH SAY ABOUT THE WELL-BEG OF CHILDREN WH GAY OR LBIAN PARENTS?

Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980).

A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991). Three aspects of sexual inty are nsired the rearch: genr inty, which ncerns a person's self-intifitn as male or female; genr-role behavr, which ncerns the extent to which a person's activi, occupatns, and the like are regard by the culture as mascule, feme, or both; and sexual orientatn, which refers to a person's choice of sexual partners, who may be homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual (Money & Ehrhardt, 1972; Ste, 1993).

KIDS OF GAY PARENTS FARE WORSE, STUDY FDS, BUT REARCH DRAWS FIRE OM EXPERTS

Subjects evaluated vigt pictg eher a gay male uple or heterosexual uple and their adopted son along the dimensns of parentg abily, gree to which the child's problems were attributable to the parental relatnship, distrs of the child (cludg genr and sexual inty nfn), and the extent to which ctody reassignment was perceived to be beneficial.

A review of rearch on children of lbian and gay parents intifi some of the sourc of diversy wh lbian and gay parentg muni / prent rearch on those who beme parents the ntext of heterosexual relatnships, before g out as lbian or gay / scribe studi of lbians who beme parents after g out [prent] rearch on children born the ntext of heterosexual relatnships... The amework foc on (1) whether selectn effects produced by homophobia acunt for associatns between parental sexual orientatns and child out; (2) the role of parental genr vis-à-vis sexual orientatn fluencg children's genr velopment; and (3) the relatnship between parental sexual orientatns and children's sexual preferenc and behavrs.

The paper foc on (a) methodologil problems rearch on homosexualy; (b) studi parg adjtment levels of male homosexuals and male heterosexuals, effemate and noneffemate male homosexuals, and female homosexuals and female heterosexuals; (c) the relatnship between gree of homosexualy and adjtment; (d) homosexual subculture; and (e) the relatnship between homosexualy and psychopathology. (From the chapter) social science theory and empiril rearch to scribe and expla psychologil heterosexism the US today / addrs the attudal and belief ponents of psychologil heterosexism, wh special attentn to gnive and motivatnal procs / behavral aspects of psychologil heterosexism-specifilly, acts of vlence agast lbians and gay men-are discsed / the nsequenc of psychologil heterosexism are nsired. (From the chapter) child ctody / sexual orientatn and liftyle on their children / ctodial gay fathers / children's reactns to havg a gay father / social ntrol strategi / boundary ntrol fluencg factors / mutualy / father's reactns / protective strategi / role molg / children's velopment of sexual inty / homonegative reactns of children.

ADULT CHILDREN OF GAY AND LBIAN PARENTS: RELIGN AND THE PARENT-CHILD RELATNSHIP

Divid to three segments, the book tak an unflchg and entirely new look at motherg: "New Lsons" exam the way which sons of lbians grow up to be different men; "Makg a Fay" looks at fay nstcts and "Facg Loss" reveals the heart-breakg realy that many women have had to nont when their fai were threatened by homophobic urts and tradns. (From the chapter) gay fatherhood has emerged to public awarens and brought qutns / who are gay fathers, and how do they bee parents / what kd of parents do gay men make, and how do their children velop / what special challeng and strs do gay fathers and their children face daily life, and how do they pe wh them / what n acquatance wh gay fathers and their children offer to the unrstandg of parenthood, child velopment, and fay life / although rearch leratur bearg on such qutns are que new and relatively sparse, existg studi addrs some issu raised by the existence of gay fathers. “WHEREAS, The legislative protectn afford to children of parents homosexual relatnships vari om state to state, wh some stat enactg or nsirg legislatn sanctng -parent or send parent adoptn by partners of the same sex, several stat clg to nsir legislatn, and at least one state altogether banng adoptn by the send parent; and.

“The Amerin Psychologil Associatn plor all public and private discrimatn such areas as employment, hog, public acmodatn, and licensg agast those who engage or have engaged homosexual activi and clar that no burn of proof of such judgment, pacy, or reliabily shall be placed upon the dividuals greater than that imposed on any other persons. “WHEREAS people who also experience discrimatn based on age, race, ethnicy, disabily, genr and genr inty, relign, and socenomic stat may pecially benef om accs to marriage for same-sex upl (Divisn 44/Commtee on Sexual Orientatn and Genr Diversy Jot Task Force on Guil for Psychotherapy wh Lbian, Gay, and Bisexual Clients, 2000);.

Includg such children among those labeled as havg been “raised by same-sex parents” is so misleadg as to be accurate, sce the children were generally raised by oppose-sex fai and only later, after a fay disptn, did they live hoeholds wh one or more gay parent(s), and only rarely did two parents of the same sex, a stable, long-term relatnship, actually raise the children together. This technil report provis the scientific ratnale, based on the current available evince, to support the remendatns outled the policy statement “Promotg the Well-Beg of Children Whose Parents are Gay or Lbian”1: support for marriage equaly, cludg repeal of the feral Defense of Marriage Act and siar public polici that lim accs to feral benefs associated wh civil marriage for gay and lbian upl, and the right of gay and lbian adults to adopt and provi foster re for eligible children. 13 Jot adoptn by lbian and gay upl is exprsly prohibed a few stat, granted by law fewer than half, and not addrsed by statut most stat that regnize civil marriage or other forms of domtic relatnships n a lbian or gay spoe or partner be regnized as a legal parent or step-parent to the child(ren) she or he is helpg raise.

CHILDREN OF LBIAN AND GAY PARENTS

Such laws are important to children when adult uple relatnships are dissolutn and appropriate ctody is unr arrangements wh a surrogate rrier are available only a few stat to gay men who wish to have a blogilly related the event of ath of a spoe, partner, or parent, state laws do not provi for Social Secury or veteran’s survivor benefs for the survivg spoe/partner and children. The first review of available data regardg the well-beg of children livg wh lbian or gay parents nclud that “While rearch on the topics is relatively new… is no evince that the velopment of children wh lbian and gay parents is promised any signifint rpect relative to that among children of heterosexual parents otherwise parable circumstanc.

A more recent prehensive review of the experienc of gay and lbian parents and their children reaffirmed that most children raised by lbian and gay parents are velopmentally and socially well-adjted and that the societal prence of stigma, heterosexism, fay circumstance, stcture, and procs are more important fluenc on children’s velopmental trajectory than is the genr or sexual orientatn of their parents. At the time of the rearch, marriage was available only to heterosexual parents, and therefore, all gay or lbian upl were, by fn, is strong evince provid the article that the children wh gay or lbian parents were severely stigmatized their schools and of the children wh gay or lbian parents had experienced the divorce of their heterosexual birth parents, many s shortly before the time of study, th potentially addg to the children’s strs.

LEARNG THAT AN ADOLCENT CHILD IS GAY OR LBIAN: THE PARENT EXPERIENCE

Although studi of unmon and varied phenomena are difficult to perform and yield plete and imperfect rults, there is an emergg nsens, based on an extensive review of the scientific lerature, that children growg up hoeholds head by gay men or lbians are not disadvantaged any signifint rpect relative to children of heterosexual parents.