Can Gay and Straight Men Really Be Friends? | Psychology Today South Ai

Contents:

• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO COME OUT AS GAY OR LBIAN
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS
• 19 QUEER FRIENDSHIP BOOKS THAT GO BEYOND THE GAY BT FRIEND
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• FEATURED STORI
• THE EVOLUTN OF THE “GAY BT FRIEND,” FROM HARMFUL TROPE TO TV GOLD

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

" If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet?

Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.

If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny. The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay?

We currently have a survey vtigatn unrway that explor some of the posive out of “bromosexual” iendships, cludg our theory that gay men and straight men n be optimal wg men for one another. At the same time, many straight men still doubt that they’ll be able to relate to gay men any meangful way and, for this reason, may not try to iate a iendship.

If they’re open-md about beiendg gay men and make the effort to try to fe iendships based upon mon terts, gay men should feel more fortable reciprotg. Gay men who disclose their sexual orientatn to their straight male iends earlier life may be able to build more open and hont iendships wh them to adulthood. Send, recent rearch has argued that genr and sexual orientatn might not be as black and whe as prevly thought, which opens up new avenu for explorg how gay and straight men n relate to one another.

HOW TO COME OUT AS GAY OR LBIAN

If a straight guy and his gay male iend are ls rigid about their masculy and sexualy, they’ll probably be more likely to discs tails about their sexual and romantic liv openly wh one another. In short, women are able to tst the datg advice om gay male iends bee they know their gay iends don’t have any ulterr motiv: They’re not tryg to hook up wh them or pete wh them for guys.

Jt as a gay man might be able to pass on advice about women to his straight iend, a straight man uld nnect his gay male iend wh another sirable gay man, sce neher the gay man nor his straight iend are petg for the same person. We believe that havg a tstworthy nfidant to help wh romantic pursus is one of the major reasons straight and gay men are leavg the fort of their same-sex, same-orientatn iend groups to form “bromosexual” iendships. ”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili. Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags. That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn).

Check out Unlikely Hikers, which specifilly wel and celebrat people who don’t f the classic Patagonia profile cludg fat folks and hikers of lour; Venture Out Project, which is n by and explicly wel trans people; Gay SCUBA Week and Queer Paddlers; and basilly what I’m sayg is that if you want to be out and Out there are fely other ‘mos to do wh your area. If you’re newly sober or revery and tryg to avoid plac, people, or patterns that may not be healthy for you right now, a gay AA or other revery meetg might be a double-w for you: support on your path and a boost for your new social life. ” or “What a great lor story, ” ’s extremely likely they’re sayg HELLO I AM ALSO QUEER AND/OR TRANS AND I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO don’t be fooled if someone don’t “look gay.

That's what this guy is tryg to figure a pretty tense Redd post, er ProbablyGay1 shar wh fellow Redd ers the story of his iendship and possible romance wh his bt iend, two formed an unlikely iendship high school when Ian was a "ol" guy who was "geilly blsed the facial partment, " and ProbablyGay1 was a self-proclaimed then, their iendship has really lated to what's fely a bt iendship, and what's also que possibly a very betiful fact, ProbablyGay1 explas that there are all sorts of signs that pot toward the directn of a "very betiful romance.

19 QUEER FRIENDSHIP BOOKS THAT GO BEYOND THE GAY BT FRIEND

"Fally, what I fd as possibly the most plsible evince leang toward the two of them beg more than iends is that ProbablyGay1 is totally head-over-heels love wh Ian:I thk about Ian a lot.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

I don't really re how ProbablyGay1 choos to go about askg Ian about their relatnship, but I sure hope that he do me tell you, for starters, I thk all signs here pot to Ian feelg the same way. Article SummaryXComg out as gay or lbian n be sry, but wh some reful planng, you’ll be able to share your te self wh the people who re about you!

FEATURED STORI

Shouhed at voluptuo distct lts, which may have alienated gay and straight men om each other the past, spire the ultimate gture of aternal nnectn: a fist bump. Obvly, there have always been iendships between gay men and straight men, but only recently have they bee more promently, and fortably, reprented TV shows, movi, books and is often a tradnally mascule sense of faiary at play the portrayals, exudg a feelg particular enough to suggt s own term: bromosexual emergg reprentatn ntrasts wh one that has bee a cliché: the nnectn between a straight woman and her gay male bt latt media reflectn also tak a signifint leap om one of s earlit eratns. From 2003 to 2007, “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” prented gay men as magil begs who functned as helpers to heterosexual men, schoolg them matters of fashn and home dér while keepg much of their own liv ntrast, the last season of “Scream Queens” found the hunky Nick Jonas prentg himself as a gay at boy who bonds over golf wh his straight aterny brother and bt iend, MenIn the recent documentary “Strike a Pose, ” about Madonna’s dance troupe om her “Blond Ambn” tour, a key plotle trac the arc of the lone straight dancer om homophobe to a man who be emotnally liberated by his many gay iends.

Another Bravo seri, “Manzo’d Wh Children, ” promently featur the relatnship between the heterosexual lead brothers and their gay bt iend, who was prevly their that work’s most regnizable reprentative, Andy Cohen, who is gay, rarely miss an opportuny to toast his close kship wh the guar hero and ultimate ladi man John Cohen mentns Mr. In one outg, durg gay pri weekend, they attend a ncert by an rnatn of a band both men love, the Grateful Cohen wrote that a iend had texted him: “if I’d celebrated gay pri any more of a straight way, I’d have had sex wh a girl at the Super Bowl. Liaison for the district’s public schools, said the chang relatnships between straight and gay men have been so rapid that he se a signifint difference jt sce he graduated om high school.

THE EVOLUTN OF THE “GAY BT FRIEND,” FROM HARMFUL TROPE TO TV GOLD

“Our tradnal way of thkg of relatnships wh gay and straight men is that they are hostile, even bullyg, ” said Michael LaSala, 57, the thor of “Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child. ”A Balm for Old Wounds“There’s a sense of a reprieve, ” said Odie Ldsey, 45, a straight fictn wrer and gulf war veteran, whose new book of short stori, “We Come to Our Sens, ” featur several gay characters.

Gay men say is mon for their heterosexual male iends to be jealo of, or at least pelled by, the efficiency and seemg ubiquy of man-on-man hookups.

“That kd of csh seems really antique, ” said Lus Whehead, 29, a straight man who liv a brownstone Fort Greene populated by a revolvg mix of heterosexual and homosexual his i, he reports zero self-nscns about havg gay iends or roommat.