I'm 43 – but I'm ma to feel like a dosr by younger gay men | Metro News

Contents:

• GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET
• WHAT'S UP WH "GENR CRIL" GAY GUYS?
• 10 COUNTRI THAT COMPLETELY HATE GAY PEOPLE
• WHY DO STRAIGHTS HATE GAYS?
• OP-ED: WHY DO GAY GUYS HATE OTHER GAY GUYS?
• 10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED
• HOW ‘WHO R’ HAS BEE WORD ONLE FOR ‘I HATE GAY PEOPLE’
• LBIANS MORE ACCEPTED THAN GAY MEN AROUND THE WORLD, STUDY FDS
• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

GAY CULTURE HAS GROWN TOXIC WH UNCHECKED PRIVILEGE. IT'S TIME FOR TO RET

But even though the nversatns that muted this lumn for six weeks are nowhere close to beg over, I do feel like some thgs that me up durg that time of ntemplatn are worth sayg now — particularly to my fellow whe gay cis out more stori on LGBTQ+ ins and activistsHowever, the ghost of Larry Kramer very much remaed my own head as I ma my way through a Pri month unlike any other. Followg a man his late 30s (based on Kramer himself) who is seekg out a lovg, long-term relatnship a sea of hedonism, the novel has a clear msage: gay men need to start lovg each other stead of beg so obssed wh gettg fucked up and (lerally and figuratively) fuckg each other. In mastream gay media, the phrase almost always refers to a fairly specific subset of the LGBTQ "muny" largely ma up of whe gay cis men — even though many of the battl won around queer rights were fought by people of lour, trans and genr-nonnformg folks, and queer women, and fact the morn Pri movement self was large part iated by Black trans women.

If an imprsn of a monolhic "gay culture" fed by such a homogeneo mographic exists, is bee whe gay cis men have until very recently domated mastream reprentatn unr the LGBTQ umbrella and have, general, been hand a level of privilege the last that is wildly disproportnate to any other mographic unr said umbrella. In analyzg the show's pictn of young gay men livg San Francis, wrer Daniel Wenger diagnos what he terms the "new gay sadns": an entire generatn of urban, privileged gay men who seem to have no clue what they're lookg for or who they are. Largely born the 1980s, they are the earlit wave of a "post-Stonewall, post-plague, post-activist" generatn of gays — "too old to have brought a boy to the prom and too young to have nursed a fantasy of nng away to an urban gay utopia, " Wenger explas.

WHAT'S UP WH "GENR CRIL" GAY GUYS?

Queeri5 pneerg LGBTQ Canadian films you n watch for ee right nowI've seen many of my fellow whe gay cis men seemgly rise to the ocsn by retweetg Black and Indigeno voic, gog to ralli and vowg to te themselv on how to tly be anti-racist (though how performative that is some s is unclear). However, the ntued existence of homophobia—spe the obv downsis—rais qutns about s basic nature: Do psychologil theori like those above really expla why gayns, specifilly, evok such fear, the kd that n sometim even lead to vlent speech and actn?

10 COUNTRI THAT COMPLETELY HATE GAY PEOPLE

We don’t hear about gay men disverg an tert women later life, and we rarely believe men when they say they are bisexual—the mon, if erroneo, wisdom is that any man who says he is bi is really jt gay and hasn’t admted yet.

Those participants who reported their heterosexualy spe havg hidn same-sex sir were also the most likely to show hostily toward gay dividuals, cludg self-reported anti-gay attus, endorsement of anti-gay polici and discrimatn such as supportg harsher punishments for homosexuals. Among those exampl are a parison of same-sex marriage to a marriage between “a man and his horse”; llg the “It Gets Better” project, an iative signed to help LGBTQ young people pe wh bullyg and margalizatn, “disgtg” and a “ncerted effort” to rec kids to the gay “liftyle”; and claimg that the “blood” of “young Mar” would be on the hands of lawmakers who voted to repeal the ary’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” Fay Rearch Council did not rpond to a requt for ment. Another “anti-LGBTQ hate group” named the report is the Alliance Defendg Freedom, a nservative Christian legal group wh attorneys across the untry and a long track rerd of ligatg agast LGBTQ a lawsu that ma natnal headl last year, ADF reprented Jack Phillips, a Christian baker who refed to make a ke for a gay weddg, a narrow victory at the Supreme Court.

WHY DO STRAIGHTS HATE GAYS?

“Along the same l that you see today, they put forward stereotyp and vilify, pecially gay men, as predators and predators of children, and e that to jtify the tactics of takg rights way om LGBTQ people, ” Fetner ced as an early example the activism of Ana Bryant Florida. The sger-turned-anti-gay-activist was behd the “Save Our Children” mpaign, which 1977 helped overturn a newly passed lol ordance Miami-Da County that prohibed discrimatn based on sexual orientatn employment, hog and public servic. The LGB Alliance, a chary found by both gay men and lbians which has been scribed as a hate group by a number of proment figur and anizatns, remas the most notor example of this velopment, but this year also saw the lnch of a trans-exclive media outlet, Lbian and Gay News (there is no news about bisexuals, I gus.

The UK’s high rate of homelsns amongst LGBT youth, the risk of portatn faced by gay asylum seekers, or the fact that homophobic hate crime has soared sce 2015 — all of the issu fall outsi of the LGB Alliance’s rem, favor of more prsg ncerns like “ensurg that people are asked about their blogil sex while fillg the cens” and “makg harr for trans people to change their birth certifite. Havg succsfully persuad pole society that “TERF” is a slur, the Brish anti-trans movement now aniz unr the banner of “genr cril” — a phemistic moniker ma nsirably funnier by the fact that nobody is more cril of genr than someone who 's a certa kd of gay man who embodi the genr-cril vibe. ” He’s not pecially terted gay culture, and stead prefers the standard fare of middle-brow English liberals: Gee Orwell and The Great Brish Bake-Off; Solzhensyn and Strictly Come Dancg; edy panel shows lled “I’m Aaid I Haven’t the Foggit!

OP-ED: WHY DO GAY GUYS HATE OTHER GAY GUYS?

It’s a very succsful sort of divi-and-nquer where straight society tells a certa — often more middle-class, wealthier — strata of gay men that 's on them now to make sure that the weirdo are kept at bay so that the really sry queerns, the msy, le-blurrg stuff, don't force that straight society to roll back all the gas civil rights there were ma the late 20th and early 21st century. ” While I n’t speak for the transmascule muny, ’s ed hard to image they’re clamourg for the amoro attentns of the middle-aged Dr Who fans who talk about eatg “emergency biscus” and, any se, live anti-trans gay men also hate the the word “queer, ” which they sometim refer to, Tumblr Teen style, as “the Q slur.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

” In prose that would make an unrgrad creative wrg workshop blh, one Lbian and Gay News ntributor argu, “As words go, [queer] is a sharp bla, the wounds leav are msy laceratns that don’t heal neatly rather than clean surgil cuts.

Hillary Rodham Clton and Barack Obama tried to duck the qutns that Pace’s bigotry raised, nfirmg what gay people know: that there is not one ndidate nng for public office anywhere who dar to e right out, unequivolly, and say cent, supportive thgs about should not vote for any of them. The term “homosexualy, ” while sometim nsired anachronistic the current era, is the most applible and easily translatable term to e when askg this qutn across societi and languag and has been ed other cross-natnal studi, cludg the World Valu Survey.

Dpe major chang laws and norms surroundg the issue of same-sex marriage and the rights of LGBT people around the world, public opn on the acceptance of homosexualy society remas sharply divid by untry, regn and enomic velopment. And Poland, supporters of the erng PiS (Law and Jtice), which has explicly targeted gay rights as anathema to tradnal Polish valu, are 23 percentage pots ls likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted by society than those who do not support the erng party.

HOW ‘WHO R’ HAS BEE WORD ONLE FOR ‘I HATE GAY PEOPLE’

But even untri like France and Germany where acceptance of homosexualy is high, there are differenc between supporters and non-supporters of key right-wg populist parti such as Natnal Rally France and Alternative for Germany (AfD). In 25 of the 34 untri surveyed, those who say relign is “somewhat, ” “not too” or “not at all” important their liv are more likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted than those who say relign is “very” important. Conversely, there are some lbians who pla about how gay men are ivolo and sex crazed, which cements the lbians' drive to stay an sular world that's way more female than trans people rent drag queens for havg male privilege and for donng the garb of the oppose sex as a performance piece, one they put on and off at will.

And shockgly, there was a petn last year to remove the T om LGBT, the reasons behd cludg everythg om the alleged appropriatn of Stonewall history to the marked difference between sexual orientatn and genr inty, which supposedly should keep gays and transsexuals that's not all!

While gay men and women, drag queens, and trans people have all been proclaimed the "hot thg" at one pot or another, the media hasn't picked up on bi visibily and given the mass-appeal glow that uld help s acceptance. What's worse, bisexuals are routely disunted by gays and lbians, some of whom clearly feel that the "B" "LGBT" is strictly out of petty ms remds me of the environment I grew up as an Italian-Amerin, hearg some of the neighbors nstantly monize Jews, blacks, and other relig, ethnic, and racial groups orr to elevate themselv.

LBIANS MORE ACCEPTED THAN GAY MEN AROUND THE WORLD, STUDY FDS

" I wanted to talk to gay men about gay men - what means to be our age, gay, and livg New York the year 2012; how we treat each other; and how stereotyp play a role our daily chance to terview my close iends --iends who have exprsed disillnment, tratn, and dismissal towards the gay muny (or lack thereof) off-mera - was a movg experience.

I found them articulate, hont, and brave for givg voice to thoughts that I've been wrtlg wh, as well as on that are far more plex than anythg I'd thought about prr to the one is gog to say an terview, "I basilly fulfill every gay stereotype, " but every sgle one of the guys (myself clud) are pable of actg stereotypil ways. But the "gay guys who jt want to sleep wh each other, " or "boa-wearg gay guys, " or "nety pound boys tank tops screamg" are imag that we've nvced ourselv exist as whole people, and not jt elements or have an expectatn that other members of the muny should not act a typilly homosexual or heterosexual way for lack of a "real personaly.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

I n see how a young gay man would be sred to e out and enter to a world which actg too stereotypilly will not only lead to bullyg by others, but also a total dismissal om fellow gay says, "Women n be great role mols, but we need gay male role mols. The morn nceptn of a young gay muny New York Cy is disjoted, varied, and seemgly unnecsary as a support system, but also far more plex, layered, and filled wh non-stereotypil quali than most people, cludg the people wh , seem to all have this ncept of "the other": those flamers out there g for the rt of ; but we're g for ourselv. For every highly publicized act of vlence toward sexual mori, such as the recent mass shootg at a gay nightclub Orlando, there are many more physil and verbal asslts, attempted asslts, acts of property damage or timidatns which are never reported to thori, let alone publicized by the media.

Ever sce born-aga sger and orange juice pchwoman Ana Bryant helped kick off the ntemporary anti-gay movement some 40 years ago, hard-le elements of the relig right have been searchg for ways to monize gay people — or, at a mimum, to fd arguments that will prevent their normalizatn society. But addn to hawkg that myth, the legns of anti-gay activists who followed have add a panoply of others, rangg om the extremely doubtful claim that sexual orientatn is a choice, to unalloyed li like the claims that gay men molt children far more than heterosexuals or that hate crime laws will lead to the legalizatn of btialy and necrophilia. Depictg gay men as a threat to children may be the sgle most potent weapon for stokg public fears about homosexualy — and for wng electns and referenda, as Ana Bryant found out durg her succsful 1977 mpaign to overturn a Da County, Fla., ordance barrg discrimatn agast gay people.