Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• MY FEMALE FRIEND THKS HAVG SEX WH ME WILL SOLVE ALL HER SEXUAL PROBLEMS. UM, I’M GAY.
• RULTS FOR : GAY SEX ADDICT
• RULTS FOR : SEX ADDICT GAY

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

Unfortunately, clicians and programs who provi the sex orientatn change efforts are now g a new treatment jtifitn, claimg that homosexualy is an addictive disorr.

She cl to endorse the terms reparative or nversn treatment, but says: “Some people stggle wh thoughts and feelgs of a homosexual nature, that is agast their valu. His attractn to men was miraculoly -eroticized, his sexual addictn was lifted, and he fell eply love wh his wife” and “After tryg va for years to overe his secret homosexual sex addictn, Dan fally "me out" enough to ask others for help.

MY FEMALE FRIEND THKS HAVG SEX WH ME WILL SOLVE ALL HER SEXUAL PROBLEMS. UM, I’M GAY.

Tradnal sex addictn treatments have pathologized gay and bi men. It is not by accint that the sex addictn ncept took root Amerin pop psychology, jt as the HIV/AIDS crisis created tremendo fear of male homosexualy.

A gay man sex addictn treatment once shared wh me that: “Most of the men who attend SAA meetgs are ‘actg out’ behavrs are often their homosexual behavrs. People were subjected to forced treatments to “homosexualize” them. Perceivg homosexualy as a disease is not new.

Groups who classify homosexualy as an abnormaly, as a disease, do so om the base assumptn that homosexual attractns reflect a disturbance. But morn Amerin society no longer perceiv homosexual sir as an illns.

RULTS FOR : GAY SEX ADDICT

All of the programs and clicians ced above explicly intify themselv as relig unselors and programs, g an addictn mol of homosexualy to support a moral attack on homosexualy. Moral and relig groups have the right to intify that they see homosexualy as “wrong, ” and to mpaign about their views. It is uhil for licensed medil profsnals to endorse the ia that homosexualy is an addictn.

Science and medice have been clear that homosexualy is not a disease. It would be ethil and jt for sex addictn therapy trag groups such as IITAP and SASH to take a stand, and assert that homosexualy should not be treated as an addictn. So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label.

Bee “gay” impli an embracg of the gay liftyle — gay bars, gay pri paras, perhaps multiple sex partners, or even anonymo sex. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

RULTS FOR : SEX ADDICT GAY

For example, gay men the Mormon fah are moral nflict. Durg the’90s, I beme a “gay-affirmative therapist.