Twenty-two years ago, I asked my dad if he was gay. Then he was gone.

Contents:

• 141 DOCTOR AND GAY PATIENT STOCK VIOS, 4K FOOTAGE, & VIO CLIPS
• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW
• I'M GAY, MY DAD'S A PASTOR, AND ... WE'RE WORKG ON IT
• DAD LLED DOCTOR ON FDG OUT HIS SON WAS GAY
• MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI

141 DOCTOR AND GAY PATIENT STOCK VIOS, 4K FOOTAGE, & VIO CLIPS

But for gay men, this procs is plited and expensive. The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change.

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed. As a gay person growg up a nservative environment, this was a challenge I thought about. I asked them how I uld start a fay as a gay man.

We don't take re of gay men... Your paper giv historil ntext for how shiftg attus toward LGBTQ fai have changed the climate for gay men who want to bee fathers. There has been a lot of foc the scientific lerature on whether children turn out OK if they have gay parents.

A gay uple New York State recently sued, sayg those creria are discrimatory.

THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

Why is important for the experienc of gay men seekg fertily re to be reflected the scientific lerature?

Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out. Our paper ed data om one of the very few fertily benef pani that do offer fertily verage to gay men. That gave a wdow to a natnal group of 119 cisgenr men, cludg five sgle men and 57 gay upl, who uniquely had fertily benefs.

It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men. This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men. A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci.

I'M GAY, MY DAD'S A PASTOR, AND ... WE'RE WORKG ON IT

I thk that, bee of the medil factors, birth rat for gay upl uld serve as a morn standard for evaluatg the succs of IVF labs. We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once. But we need to ask: Are we puttg gtatnal rriers at unnecsary risk om tw pregnanci, and puttg gay upl at unnecsary risk of havg babi the NICU?

Before I was an OB/GYN, I thought, "This is a health accs issue, and if gay men want tws we should rpect their tonomy. What do add to have physician-scientists like you, who are gay, answerg rearch qutns about this populatn of prospective parents?

I'm currently a fellow, and I have patients g specifilly to see me, not bee I'm the most amazg doctor but bee I'm gay, and they want a gay doctor. I also knew that my dad mt be gay—bee, well, of urse. While I’d never met an out gay man, I kd of knew what they were supposed to be like om movi and TV, and Dad f the mold: He loved to ok; he cleaned obssively; he kept the Internatnal Male talog around, bee, he said, “I like the cloth.

DAD LLED DOCTOR ON FDG OUT HIS SON WAS GAY

“You know, ” I said to Dad, “I asked Mom once if you were gay. “Gay?

“I’m not gay. ” she’d said our kchen—after a long nversatn she’d had wh an openly gay iend om llege, Pat, who had, apparently, been a nfidant of Dad’s. Years later Mom told me that, acrdg to Pat, Dad had been active Lexgton and Louisville’s gay club scene.

) But to actually let me —to s on that blue blanket, look me the eye and tell me he was gay—was somethg he uldn’t do. “I asked Mom once if you were gay, ” I would have said. The founr of a Derbyshire Gay Pri event has opened up about his experience as a gay man and the story of when he me out to his parents.

MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI

His mum and dad now jo him at the Chterfield Pri event he first anised 2015 as a way to build bridg between the LGBT (lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr) muny and the rt of society. Growg up Spal, Chterfield, Dan beme aware of his homosexualy durg his teenage years, many years before he would e out to his parents. "School n be a really cel place whether your gay or not, but I managed to blend to the background as much as possible.