Is It Possible to Pray the Gay Away? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• ‘PRAY AWAY THE GAY’ HAS GONE AWAY. WHY ARE GOVERNMENTS TRYG TO STOP IT?
• NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT
• 5 THGS I LEARNED AT A 'PRAY AWAY THE GAY' CAMP
• IS IT POSSIBLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY?
• ‘PRAY AWAY’ REVIEW: ATONG FOR AN ANTI-GAY STANCE
• FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY
• NETFLIX’S ‘PRAY AWAY’ DOCUMENTARY WILL REMD YOU THAT GAY CONVERSN IS STILL GOG ON
• NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' IS A HUMANIZG LOOK AT 'GAY CONVERSN' THERAPY SURVIVORS
• PRAY AWAY GO DEEP INTO THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT THAT BEGAN THE '70S
• PRAY AWAY: THE HARROWG TE STORY OF THE "EX-GAY" MUNY THE FILM

‘PRAY AWAY THE GAY’ HAS GONE AWAY. WHY ARE GOVERNMENTS TRYG TO STOP IT?

Exod Internatnal, evangelilism’s flagship ex-gay mistry, shut down 2013 after former lear Alan Chambers said had ed pa and harm to too many people and that more than 99 percent of those who’d sought help there hadn’t actually experienced an orientatn change. While mistri cludg Exod Internatnal and Foc on the Fay ed to preach that homosexual sire should be elimated, most evangelil church, pastors, and mental health profsnals today emphasize chasty amid sir that might last a lifetime. Even the Nashville Statement, a 14-pot manifto by the plementarian Council of Biblil Manhood and Womanhood, matas that homosexual sire may never change.

When Amerin documentarian Kriste Stolakis set out to make her but feature film, she knew she wanted to she a light on the “ex-gay” movement, which nsists of those that believe a person’s genr inty or sexual orientatn n be changed. Really is a movement of hurt people hurtg other people, of what ternalized homophobia and transphobia looks like when is wield outward.

Shot before the Covid-19 panmic, the film chronicl the rise — and subsequent fall — of Exod Internatnal, a nversn therapy anizatn that, acrdg to the team behd the the film, began as a Bible study group the 1970s nsistg of five evangelil men who were lookg to help one another leave the “homosexual liftyle. But years after risg to stardom the relig right, many of the “ex-gay” lears, whose own same-sex attractns never went away, have sce e out as LGBTQ and disavowed the very movement that they helped to grow.

NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' LOOKS BEHD THE CURTA OF THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT

Stolakis’ list of terviewe “Pray Away” clus Randy Thomas, the fal vice print of Exod Internatnal; Yvette Cantu Schneir, the former head of Exod’ women’s mistri; and John Plk, one of the most bt-known “ex-gay” people the world. “Somethg my team and I talked about a lot makg this film is, this really is a movement of hurt people hurtg other people, of what ternalized homophobia and transphobia looks like when is wield outward, ” said Stolakis, whose other directorial creds clu “The Typist” and “Where We Stand.

5 THGS I LEARNED AT A 'PRAY AWAY THE GAY' CAMP

”While many former lears have renounced and spoken out agast the “pray the gay away” movement, Stolakis said “the larger culture of homophobia and transphobia, ” particularly relig muni, has allowed the movement to ntue wh younger lears, even wh the dissolutn of Exod Internatnal 2013 and the legalizatn of same-sex marriage the U. Alone, nearly 700, 000 lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr adults have been subjected to some form of nversn therapy durg their lifetime, acrdg to a 2019 report om the Williams Instute at the UCLA School of Law.

”Wh “Pray Away” set to but more than 190 untri on Netflix this week, Stolakis wants to make one thg clear to every prospective viewer: The “ex-gay” movement was never led by jt “a uple of bad appl.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY?

”“As long as that larger culture of homophobia and transphobia exists — be our church, any relig muny, our polil sphere or our culture — some versn of nversn therapy and the ex-LGBTQ movement will ntue, ” she explaed. "Wh my first weeks therapy, I was told every other gay person on Earth had been executed.... By the end of the so-lled 'treatments, ' I believed the ernment was lookg for me bee the gays had brought AIDS to Ameri and that I now had this disease ragg through me.

" That is, they assumed that bee he was gay, 's bee his ntrollg mother and adbeat dad had nfed and irreparably trmatized his genals.

‘PRAY AWAY’ REVIEW: ATONG FOR AN ANTI-GAY STANCE

In fact, they uldn't fd any trma to blame Sam's homosexualy on at all. 4 They Physilly Torture You For Beg Gay.

Later ssns would clu pper heatg ils, needl my fgers, and electric shocks, " all while Sam was shown gay porn. Antos777/iStock/Getty Imag Of urse, no one explaed why they had a stockpile of gay porn on hand.

Obvly, spe the old sayg, you n't "heatg-il the gay away. In fact, he got so ed to reprsg his te self that, even after he me out, he wasn't entirely sure how to be: When he got to llege and first enuntered the gay muny, he immediately "me out a ball of glter. " He embraced a sparkly, Freddy Mercury-stage-show-liftyle bee he saw a bunch of out-and-proud homosexuals and thought that was how was done.

FORMER 'EX-GAY' LEARS DENOUNCE 'CONVERSN THERAPY' IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY

"I'm very flamboyant, and that's partly bee of how I was troduced to the ia of other gay men existg.... I found out what a gay person looked like, and realized that was how I was supposed to act. 2 There's A Reason Some Gays Are So "Flamboyant".

NETFLIX’S ‘PRAY AWAY’ DOCUMENTARY WILL REMD YOU THAT GAY CONVERSN IS STILL GOG ON

Go to a hardware store on the day of the gay pri para and you might hear an old du wh a beer gut lament, "Why do them gays have to be so flamboyant? The vast majory of homosexuals are -- shocker -- jt people.

But if you see somebody sportg an outlandish stume, 's not about makg homosexualy look fun to help "turn kids gay" (if Sam's gayns uld survive electroshock torture, then we're pretty sure another kid's straightns n survive a few paras and some sequ boas); 's about showg closeted gay kids that homosexualy isn't tomatilly a lifetime of misery.

1 Both Fah And Homosexualy Can Be Equally Intolerant. I'm the middle ground: From some fah muni, I'm attacked for beg gay. From some gay muni, I'm attacked as beg Christian.

NETFLIX'S 'PRAY AWAY' IS A HUMANIZG LOOK AT 'GAY CONVERSN' THERAPY SURVIVORS

Fally some mon ground between tolerant homosexuals and tolerant Christians: tolerance! For more sir perspectiv, check out 5 Reali of Beg Gay a Country Where It's Illegal and 6 Shockg Reali of the Secret 'Troubled Teen Indtry'.

The revelatns surroundg Marc Bachmann's psychotherapy practice along wh his statements equatg gay people to barbarians reflect the eply held view among too many people that homosexualy is a psychologil or moral choice that n be altered and ed should be. As someone who profs to help gays and lbians bee "straight, " Dr. There are several nservative relig anizatns, like Exod Internatnal and Homosexuals Anonymo, that claim to have helped people change their sexual orientatn through prayer, unselg, or a batn of both.

Moreover, there are licensed mental health profsnals who practice what are lled reparative or nversn therapi signed to make gay people heterosexual. The bt-known group of such clicians is the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH), led by psychologist Joseph Nilosi.

PRAY AWAY GO DEEP INTO THE 'EX-GAY' MOVEMENT THAT BEGAN THE '70S

He and his followers claim that gays and lbians suffer om a damagg blend of childhood trma, shamg their fai of orig, and chronic unmet needs for love and affectn om their same-sex parents. Reparative therapy supposedly helps gay clients bee heterosexual by workg wh them to amelrate toxic feelgs stemmg om their damaged childhoods. Robert Spzer, a proment psychiatrist who, oddly enough, led the charge to remove homosexualy as a disease om the Diagnostic and Statistil Manual, had unrtaken rearch wh 200 women and men who unrwent reparative therapy and believed themselv to be "cured" of homosexualy, as evinced by their abily to engage sexual relatns wh the oppose sex, marry heterosexually, and nceive children.

In fact, there are many reports of people unrgog treatments offered by ex-gay mistri who not only return to homosexualy but have also been trmatized by this so-lled therapy. The real diseas are homophobia and heterosexism, not homosexualy. It is important to regnize that the great majory of psychotherapy profsnals argue vociferoly that such "treatment" is uhil bee homosexualy is not an illns — rather the "illns" is our tolerance of sexual and genr behavrs fallg outsi rtrictive societal norms.

I also tell clients that reparative and nversn therapi, bis beg effective, are psychologilly harmful to gays and lbians, which is another reason I do not remend them and will not assist clients procurg such treatment. People like Marc and Michele Bachmann believe that acceptg and even celebratg gay and lbian people will evably lead to the moral cle of our society.

PRAY AWAY: THE HARROWG TE STORY OF THE "EX-GAY" MUNY THE FILM

Movi|‘Pray Away’ Review: Atong for an Anti-Gay Stance ADVERTISEMENTIn this documentary, people who had promoted the ia that sexual orientatn uld be changed exprs their AwayDirected by Kriste StolakisDocumentaryPG-131h 41mThe Netflix documentary “Pray Away” profil several people who, the public sphere and the ntext of Christiany-cloaked “nversn therapy, ” peddled the ia that homosexualy uld be changed, and who now regret the sufferg they ed. Michael Bsee, a founr of Exod Internatnal, nsired one of the major anizatns that preached that sexual orientatn uld be changed, was both an early promoter and an early harms nversn therapy , and the tactics , aren’t news at this pot, and “Pray Away” is more tertg when foc on how most of s subjects eventually embraced gay and bisexual inti spe havg formerly been so public their homophobia. It's a movement that's born out of a larger culture of homophobia and transphobia that still persists the majory of Christian church today.