Is 'Homosexual OCD' - the fear of beg gay, spe beg straight - jt ternalised homophobia, or a ser psychologil disorr?
Contents:
- IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
- GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
- MEET THE STRAIGHT MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY ARE GAY
- WHY ARE THERE GAY MEN?
- CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
Joe Kort, Ph.D., talks about his new book, "Is My Hband Gay, Straight, or Bi?" * straight men being gay *
In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men.
A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay. That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay.
GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
Heterosexual and gay men n heal and grow as a rult of their iendships. * straight men being gay *
” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.
Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women. When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic.
The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them. So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay.
MEET THE STRAIGHT MEN WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY ARE GAY
Could gay guys be the ultimate wg men for their straight, male iends? * straight men being gay *
A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way.
WHY ARE THERE GAY MEN?
* straight men being gay *
Even if he’s nfed and don’t want to e out as gay, this is who he is and over time that will e out. So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met. Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh.
And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.
CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
New rearch shows the gen that make men gay appear to make their mothers and nts more reproductively succsful. * straight men being gay *
For example, when a “closeted” gay or bisexual man has sex wh another man, he views that sex as reflectg his secret gay/bisexual inty. A mory of the men I terviewed were homophobic and held prejudice agast LGBTQ2+ people and this prejudice mak the thought of an LGBTQ2+ inty unappealg to them. The bonds between gay men and straight women have been wrten about and featured popular media (i.
Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships. Acrdg to Garfield, among the many obstacl to male-male platonic timacy, fear of homosexualy looms large.
Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors! S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick.