Is Your Dad Gay—or Are You a Gay Dad? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?
• HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY
• MY DAD COMG OUT AS GAY CHANGED OUR LIV — AND GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO BE MYSELF
• AFTER 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, MY DAD CAME OUT AS GAY
• IM GAY AND IM ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER..
• THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

IS YOUR DAD GAY—OR ARE YOU A GAY DAD?

Are you a dghter whose dad is gay? Or are you a gay dad?

gay: 1. Most children whose dads are gay were born while their blogil mom and blogil dad were married and livg together. If you have a gay dad or a lbian mom, after they separate, which of them is most likely to remarry or to remarry and then divorce?

Lbian moms are more likely than gay dads to marry their same-sex partner. But gay dads are ls likely to get divorced om their hbands than lbian moms are to get divorced om their wiv. Gay men may experience more discrimatn than lbians, pecially if they are parents.

HOW I ACCINTALLY FOUND OUT MY DAD IS GAY

Our society is still ls acceptg of gay men beg fathers than of lbians beg mothers. But perhaps the most important rearch fdg is that gay dads and their dghters have closer relatnships when dads tell the tth—and the dads are ls clilly prsed than dads who hi this important rmatn om their children (Tornello, 2018).

Sadly, gay fathers are more aaid than lbian mothers to tell their children the tth, regardls of their age. So if you as a dghter or as a gay dad are still tiptoeg around the topic, ’s time to give yourselv a gift by gettg this skeleton out of the closet. (2018) Adult children of gay fathers.

Journal of Homosexualy, 65, 1152-1166. My brother picked up the word for "gay" – a word my dad repeated several tim durg that that pot, my parents had told they had problems their marriage, but a few months later, when I was around ne years old, we still went on our annual fay summer holiday to France. Until, out of nowhere, my brother sudnly asked, "Dad, are you gay?

MY DAD COMG OUT AS GAY CHANGED OUR LIV — AND GAVE ME THE COURAGE TO BE MYSELF

"There aren't a lot of gay people out there wh a wife and children, " he told me. I once tagged along wh him to his favoure gay bar, where I met all the iends he's ma there over the years. I'm gay.

I n't remember exactly what I unrstood of the word "gay" at that pot my life, but whether me om hearg my classmat e to disparage our peers or the nate unrstandg that s existence our life meant plete and utter change to our fay dynamic, I stantly registered the word as synonymo wh "bad.

AFTER 20 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, MY DAD CAME OUT AS GAY

The word "gay" was not a taboo word our hoe. I never hated to pull asi even the tought bulli after hearg them make fun of our gay classmat to give them a piece of my md, and I preached csantly about why the f-word should be dropped om everyone's vobulari anytime was uttered my prence.

We would se together as adults and share stori om our childhoods about our gay parents that others wouldn't unrstand. It's te that children of gay adults tend to grow up quicker than most bee we e to know a different world at an early age that some adults are not yet able to fully prehend.

The first time my dad tried to tell me he was gay, didn't go well. What I gleaned om his ramblgs were that he believed that human sexualy was a ntuum and that if he hadn't been born and raised a relig fah that shunned homosexualy, he might have gravated more towards that si of the spectm. "Dad told me he's gay.

IM GAY AND IM ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER..

He was gay.

Not maybe gay some parallel universe. My dad was gay now, our actual life. My dad was gay for real.

Although had never crossed my md that my dad might be gay, wasn't a total shock eher. This environment mouflaged my dad's te sexual inty, both om himself and the rt of dad was his early 40s when he realized he was gay.

THE GAY FATHER I NEVER KNEW

They thought that "beg gay" would maybe pass, but they also explored the ia of havg an "arrangement" their marriage.

If you jt have a feelg that your brother is gay, that's okay. If you thk your brother is gay bee he watch a "girly" TV show or his voice sounds a certa way, that's relyg on stereotyp. If you live a particularly homophobic or transphobic area, discs safety plans wh the fay member se of vlence om others.

If your fay member has e out as gay or bisexual, accept that they will end up seeg someone of their own genr, and that's perfectly okay. Don't be aaid to rearch beg gay, bisexual, transgenr, asexual, or whatever your fay member me out as.