Gay Men and Their Fathers: Hurt and Healg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY
• PARENTG A GAY CHILD
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
• HAVG A GAY KID ISN'T EASY
• MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR

I NNOT AL WH FACT MY SON IS GAY

Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.

PARENTG A GAY CHILD

There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". Qutn: TWO months ago my son Gav, 29, announced that he is gay.

He me home one weekend to expla to me and my hband that he has been livg wh his partner for three months and has known he was gay sce he was 17. UPSET: Mary n't e to terms wh the fact that her son is gay / pic posed by molsI was vastated and me as a shock bee Gav has the past brought girliends home to meet .

Mary, 57, SheffieldAnswer:DEBORAH SAYS:How do you e to terms wh the news your son is gay? You have to let them parents fd hard to accept their child is gay.

HAVG A GAY KID ISN'T EASY

Perhaps is ls difficult than once was bee there is ls secrecy and ls opprobrium surroundg homosexualy but is still hard bee upsets all your expectatns about your mt have been very difficult for Gav to e home and tell you this. Of urse you wouldn’ you n’t “e to terms” wh homosexualy you n’t e to terms wh him. I grew up outsi of New York Cy, the meltg pot, attend llege and worked New York, yet when I found out my son, Jam, age 13, was gay, I reverted to "not my backyard.

MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI

Although he didn't particularly like ntact sports, he didn't exhib the gay stereotypil image: lisp, rabow lors. How would he know he's gay, if he never had sex wh a girl? Acrdg to -thor of When Your Child Is Gay, Jonathan L.

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

D., nial is the most mon ial reactn of parents to the joltg news that their child is gay.

When I terviewed straight parents for When Your Child Is Gay, they ed words such as fear, shock, helplsns, strs, and extreme sadns to scribe their experienc wh nial.

Why do parents who are normally acceptg of their children go to the nial zone upon learng that their child is gay, bisexual, even transgenr? Beg gay was not part of that plan and this fact was hard to rencile.

DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR

Tobk, who is private practice Manhattan, do not expect their child to be gay.