What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• MATTHEW SHEPARD: THE LEGACY OF A GAY LLEGE STUNT 20 YEARS AFTER HIS BTAL MURR
• FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED
• MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX
• CHILD STAR STGGLED TO E OUT AFTER PLAYG ‘THE GAY KID’ ‘SCHOOL OF ROCK’
• KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND
• THE GRIM TTH OF BEG GAY PRISON
• I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN
• JAGUARS ACH KEV MAXEN OUT AS GAY HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT
• MORE GAY MEN CHOOSE SURROGACY TO HAVE CHILDREN
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• 10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS

MATTHEW SHEPARD: THE LEGACY OF A GAY LLEGE STUNT 20 YEARS AFTER HIS BTAL MURR

Twenty years ago, Matthew Shepard was a "smart, funny" 21-year-old, no different than any other young man that was an "ordary kid who wanted to make the world a better place, " his parents October 1998, that all changed, when the openly gay llege stunt was abducted, beaten and tied to a fence life end a few days later, and wh me a wispread awarens of the dangers that members of the LGBTQ muny face every day.

FOR GAY MEN, HAVG A BLOGIL CHILD N BE PLITED

The homophobic btal killg also served as a talyst for progrs Ameri's laws and the two s that have passed, however, remas batable how far the untry has e sce the shock of that crime.

MY HBAND IS GAY BUT WE’RE MARRIED WH TWO KIDS AND HAVE GREAT SEX

(MORE: 'Gay panic' fense still ed vlence s may be banned by new feral bill)McKney h Shepard about 20 tim the head and face wh the end of the pistol, Marsn said, before the two stole Shepard's sho, got their tck and drove back to town. Agast the gay muny until after he grew up to bee very terted ternatnal human rights, particularly women's rights the Middle East and Asia, and he studied polil science, said Marsn. Members of the Wtboro Baptist Church protted the funeral, picketg wh anti-gay Fred Phelps and his parishners traveled om Kansas to Laramie for the funeral and trial, prottg wh brightly lored signs and spewg hatred.

CHILD STAR STGGLED TO E OUT AFTER PLAYG ‘THE GAY KID’ ‘SCHOOL OF ROCK’

McKney has cled to speak to ABC News while Henrson did not immediately rpond to a requt for WashgtonShepard's murr shed a light on the spe of feral hate crime laws, which at the time did not clu sexual orientatn or genr gay activists monstrate the streets of North Hollywood to prott agast the ath of Wyomg Universy stunt Mathew Shepard, Oct. "Beyond the feral hate crime law, the years sce Matthew Shepard's ath, among the most substantive legislative ws for the LGBTQ muny were the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell 2010, so gay ary members n serve openly whout fear of beg dismissed, and the legalizatn of same-sex marriage across the untry 2015.

The procs tak about two years and sts around $200, 000 per child - and prospective gay fathers don't meet eligibily creria for most health surance plans' fertily benefs, although this is begng to change. Brent Monsr, MD, recently helped lead a study to document tails of how gay men e assisted reproductive technology to build their fai, cludg qutns such as how many children they wish to have and how often their efforts succeed.

Cisgenr gay men are almost never clud this rearch, so as physicians we don't know anythg about their characteristics as reproductive health patients, even basic rmatn such as their mographics, clil cisn-makg patterns or out. It's important to keep md that our data reflect the experienc of dividuals who n afford reproductive medil re bee their employer-sponsored fertily benefs ver , and that is still an unual suatn for gay men.

KEN HAS ALWAYS BEEN BARBIE’S GAY BT FRIEND—NOT HER BOYIEND

This data served as the foundatn for a grant applitn we've jt had approved to nduct a much larger populatn study that will give accs to rmatn on about 2, 000 embryo transfers annually gay men. A lot of people see a fertily doctor bee they have an unrlyg medil issue, whereas gay male upl ually have two possible sperm sourc, a young egg donor and a gtatnal rrier who has already had succsful pregnanci. We regnize that this may be bee a lot of gay men requt tws or may ultimately want two children, and fertily doctors may be transferrg two embryos to try to save their patients money so they only have to go through the fertily treatment procs once.

THE GRIM TTH OF BEG GAY PRISON

"WARNING: This feature ntas language that some rears may fd nights earlier, on Tuday 6 October 1998, Matthew Shepard walked alone to a dive bar ptn, Judy and Dennis Shepard at the Matthew Shepard Foundatn Denver last weekThe openly gay Universy of Wyomg hman had jt met up wh iends to plan LGBT awarens week on the town's he uldn't persua them to jo him for a beer the Firi Lounge, the 21-year-old somehow end up chattg to two roofg workers, Rsell Henrson and Aaron McKney, both the same age as pair saw an easy mark the 5ft 2, slightly built County Sheriff Dave O'Malley, who was lead vtigator the se, says: "McKney's own statement said he and Rsell went to the bathroom at the Firi bar and they planned to act like they were gay to try to ga Matthew's nfince. It is a momento honour not even acrd to another proment gay martyr, Harvey Milk, the San Francis polician assassated the Denver cy centre offic of the LGBT rights foundatn named after her son, Judy Shepard, 66, is fightg back predicted Friday's ceremony would probably be more emotnal for her than the funeral bee she felt so "numb" immediately after her son's source, Getty ImagImage ptn, A vigil for Shepard New York Cy 1998The origal service, amid snow flurri the fay's hometown of Casper, Wyomg, on 16 October 1998, was picketed by an anti-gay preacher om Kansas.

Reverend Fred Phelps of Wtboro Baptist Church and his flock, who clud children, held plards dbed wh homophobic slurs and shouted to mourners that the ad stunt was burng Shepard, 69, remembers law enforcement makg him wear a bullet-proof vt to step outsi the Epispal church, which had been sured by bomb-sniffg dogs.

Shepard's murr stoked the perceptn of Cowboy Country and flyover stat general as a danger zone for gay at his office the cy of Cheyenne, McKney trial lawyer Dn Ctis matas was a robbery gone bad, even while he accepts sexual orientatn was a factor.

I’M 43 – BUT I’M MA TO FEEL LIKE A DOSR BY YOUNGER GAY MEN

"However, McKney's own gay-bashg rhetoric damns him the ey of source, Getty ImagImage ptn, Thoands gathered outsi the US Capol for a vigil after Shepard's athDurg a police nfsn, he said he began to attack Shepard bee the stunt had put his hand on his leg durg the r ri. " Yet another statement to police, he said Shepard simply looked like he was about to grope the jailhoe after his arrt, McKney reportedly wrote to another mate's wife: "Beg a verry [sic] dnk homofobick [sic] I flipped out and began to pistol whip the fag wh my gun, ready at hand.

"At trial, McKney's lawyers argued that Shepard had ma their client fly to a rage by touchg his the judge dismissed this "gay panic" a legal strategy - where crimal fendants s of vlent asslt argue they were provoked by an unwanted same-sex sexual advance - is still admissible all but three US stat, acrdg to the Williams Instute at UCLA School of Law.

JAGUARS ACH KEV MAXEN OUT AS GAY HISTORIC ANNOUNCEMENT

Sheriff O'Malley rejects any attempt to downplay the anti-gay element the source, Getty ImagImage ptn, Rev Fred Phelps and his flock prott Laramie 1999"We have never disunted ever that the ial motivatn was robbery, " he says.

The moment was re-enacted as a climactic scene 2002 HBO movie The Laramie the angel actn, was replited two years ago Orlando, Florida, when Wtboro Baptist Church tried to dispt the funerals of gay people killed a mass shootg at the Pulse nightclub.

"All of them are that circle of faiary of extreme right-wg relig attus, " she says of the print's bet, " particular to the gay muny, to anybody who's not straight whe Christian. However, Sheriff O'Malley mak clear that theory is not supported by the source, Getty ImagImage ptn, Judy Shepard (L) at the Whe Hoe 2009 for the passage of the anti-hate crim bill named after her son and a black man killed by whe supremacistsThe Old Buckhorn Bar & Parlor Laramie has a mirror pocked by a bullet hole, and walls that bristle wh mounted antelope, buffalo and patron, Jt Bmmet - who proudly scrib himself as "third class whe trash" - says US progrs on gay rights sce Shepard's ath is to be mend. " Back at the end of the last lennium, many Wyomg apparently thought gay people were as rare on the high plas as jackalop, the state's mythil antlered ptn, (L-R) Universy of Wyomg LGBT stunts Js Fahlsg, Carlos Gonzal and Rihanna KelverShepard's murr - together wh the 2005 gay wboy love story Brokeback Mounta - helped dispel that Connolly, a Universy of Wyomg genr and women's studi lecturer, explas.

MORE GAY MEN CHOOSE SURROGACY TO HAVE CHILDREN

She reunts facg a "horrific" backlash last year om angry voters when she troduced a gay rights source, Getty ImagImage ptn, A dirt road near where Shepard was left to dieA Democrat, she is one of a handful of female lawmakers Wyomg. Former child actor Brian Falduto says that he wasn’t able to e out until his senr year of llege bee of the stggl he faced after beg dubbed “the gay kid” om “School of Rock.

“I was so much nial [about my sexualy growg up], ” he said on the “Cooper and Anthony Show, ” “Thk about : I was the fifth gra when this movie me out and I was lled gay, and then someone told me that’s not ol, so I was jt like, ‘Oh, ok, then I’m not gay’.

“So by the time I realized I was potentially gay, I was already homophobic towards myself, sentially, ” Falduto, who is now an actor, filmmaker, mician and life ach said.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

The film won’t say , but a post-creds punchle about Ken’s handwrg, plete wh hearts and stars surroundg his name, tells what we need to heavily implied nature of Ken’s gayns Toy Story 3 harkens back to Hollywood’s tradnal gay bt iend-type characters. In the Hays Co era, explic referenc to homosexualy weren’t allowed, so characters like Van Buren (Frankl Pangborn) 1937’s Easy Livg, Kip (David Wayne) 1949’s Adam’s Rib, or Addison (Gee Sanrs) 1950’s All About Eve stead were imbued wh effemate characteristics, offerg a glimpse outsi of heteronormativy whout explicly beg of the characters were the same—some were tty, others sweet.

In movi like Mean Girls (2004), The Devil Wears Prada (2006), Easy A (2010), No Strgs Attached (2011), and Isn’t It Romantic (2019), gay iends exist entirely the orb of their female iends. As a rult, gay men bought the doll drov, and spe Mattel ultimately rellg the doll and wipg away any trace of Earrg Magic Ken, was near-impossible to see Ken as anythg but the glor homosexual he was born to be om then on. While there is no way to “drs gay, ” there are several dolls that seem to suggt otherwise, such as:Fashnista Ken #193, who looks very exced to tell you about his new obssn, Troye Sivan;Travel Ken Doll, who has a satchel perfect for bathho and a purple overnight bag that lerally proclaims he’s “extra;”Ken Looks Doll, servg “I’m gonna give you a makeover”-type realns while sportg black pleather pants;This Ken, who wears the least heterosexual double nim I have a feelg the new Barbie movie will put the work to nvce that Ken is a hetero du who lov nothg life more than Barbie herself, the wrg’s already on the wall: Ken is, and always will be, Barbie’s gay bt obssg!

10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS

They want their children to see gay characters, bisexual characters, trans and nonbary characters, jt as much as they want to see strong female characters and racially diverse on. "05The First Biracial Gay Couple on NickeloonJt before Lln Loud opens his ont door to iend Cly McBri and his parents a 2016 episo of rtoon seri The Loud Hoe, he looks directly at viewers and says, "This is ... "12The First Openly Gay Pixar CharacterOnward — about two teen brothers who attempt to e magic to spend a day wh their late father — om 2020 is the first Pixar movie to clu an openly gay character.