Moms ask if my "feme" son is gay. Strangers tell me I'm beg too permissive. Here's what they don't unrstand
Contents:
- GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
- A GAY BOY’S FAL PORTRA OF HIS MOM
- WHY DO GAY MEN TEND TO HAVE CLOSER RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR MOMS STEAD OF THEIR DADS?
- MOM, I’M GAY. CAN MY FRIENDS SLEEP OVER?
- ‘TRMATIZED’ DGHTER OF LGBT PARENTS: ‘MY GAY MOMS OPPRSED ME’
GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?
My mother, and my (gay) self. * gay boys and mom *
Perhaps is not surprisg that mothers and their gay sons often scribe their relatnships as close.
A GAY BOY’S FAL PORTRA OF HIS MOM
Y, I oppose gay marriage. And here's why. * gay boys and mom *
This was found to be te for many of the mothers and sons I terviewed for the study scribed the book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child (). Neverthels, this closens uld have a downsi, at least temporarily, as many mothers ially blame themselv and the close relatnships for their sons' homosexualy. So, perhaps is not pletely surprisg that once they learned their sons were gay, some of the mothers I terviewed felt that they had done somethg to damage them.
The fact is that I am the mother and I was told growg up that men bee gay bee their mothers are too motherg. For a long time, the psychiatric profsn blamed overly close maternal relatnships for g the "disease" of male homosexualy. Even though rearch sce the 1950's has bunked , this theory persists people's mds and rears s ugly head for mothers when they ially learn their sons are gay.
Fortunately, for many mothers of gay son—wh time and tn, they learn that the ia that they had somehow ma their son gay is ad wrong This was te of the mothers my study who also me to see the benefs havg a gay son as will be scribed later this post.
WHY DO GAY MEN TEND TO HAVE CLOSER RELATNSHIPS WH THEIR MOMS STEAD OF THEIR DADS?
Today on Christian Post, Chuck Colson posted a lumn tled Born Gay A Parent s Gui which asserted that the way parents relate to their male children n create homosexualy Colson quoted extensively om Joseph and Lda Nilosi s book, A Parent s Gui to Preventg Homosexualy as support for the view that weak or distant fathers and smotherg mothers create gay mal Acrdg to Nilosi, gay mal suffered a genr wound childhood * gay boys and mom *
My rearch, clil and personal experienc suggt that there is ed a al lk between male homosexualy and a close maternal relatnship but flows the oppose directn than what was prevly thought.
In other words, havg a close relatnship wh your mother don't make you gay—beg gay mak you closer to your mother. The young gay mal this study relled sharg terts mon wh their mothers, such as fashn and okg, and were also sensive to their feelgs.
MOM, I’M GAY. CAN MY FRIENDS SLEEP OVER?
I thk personally [beg gay] ma me a more emotnal person, more sensive, more touch wh both the male and female sis of myself, but allowg me to even acknowledge that other si ma me closer to my mother. Once mothers this study got over their feelgs of guilt and got ed to the ia that their sons were gay, they were able to regnize the benefs of havg a gay son.
‘TRMATIZED’ DGHTER OF LGBT PARENTS: ‘MY GAY MOMS OPPRSED ME’
Closens between mothers and their gay sons is a stereotype and like all stereotyp, sometim they rg te.
However, we get to hot water when we allow stereotyp to get the way of unrstandg the uniquens of dividuals and their circumstanc—so is important to remember that not all mothers and gay sons are close. Sadly, some mothers simply nnot adjt to their sons' homosexualy, due to their guilt, relig ncerns, or abily to "let go" and accept the ways they live their liv. For sure, gay men, their mothers and those who assist them need to explore and unrstand the val relatnships.