What Do It Mean to Be a Gay Man? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO BE GAY AT WORK
• WHAT IT’S LIKE BEG THE ONLY GAY MAN THE OFFICE
• HOW TO BE A ROCKSTAR ROLE MOL GAY MAN AT WORK
• HOW GAY MEN NAVIGATE THE CORPORATE WORLD
• GAY MEN AT WORK.
• HOW COMPANI MAKE IT HARR FOR LBIAN, GAY, AND BISEXUAL EMPLOYE TO ACHIEVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE
• HOW TO LOOK GREAT AS A GAY MAN
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?
• STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
• JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY
• KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

HOW TO BE GAY AT WORK

Lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr people who are 'out' at work waste ltle energy hidg aspects of their personali, meang they feel more nfint and progrs wh the bs. However, many rema the of Europe and the US is relatively acceptg of the LGBT muny; the issu that gay and trans people face here are mor parison to untri where displays of homosexualy n lead to prison, torture and, 34% of lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr people the UK choose not to disclose their sexualy at work. They hi their private liv om lleagu and clients for fear of homophobia, excln or se they are overlooked for valuable on the factory floor or a board meetg; evadg qutns about fay life n be like dodgg bullets if you thk that revealg your sexualy will make work relatns difficult.

WHAT IT’S LIKE BEG THE ONLY GAY MAN THE OFFICE

There are few 'out' role mols to monstrate that members of the LGBT muny even exist John Browne (whose recently published book The Glass Closet is sential readg for anyone takg diversy the workplace serly) is one of few openly gay bs figur and we need more people to be as urageo as well as a wir reprentatn of gay and trans people bs, we also need straight alli to be vol about their backg and we need bs to make a stand.

" Dolly, bab, we n Dolly's office polics bop don't offer any sight to one particular profsnal dilemma: how do you navigate beg gay the workplace? Wh that md, here's a handy gui to beg gay and happy the 't e out if you don't want toFundamentally, g out at work is exactly like g out to iends and fay.

You'll know when 's right to nfi workers, and you'll probably know the most appropriate way to do a worker actually asks, "Are you gay?

HOW TO BE A ROCKSTAR ROLE MOL GAY MAN AT WORK

When I was stgglg to e out at school, nothg ma me more nervo than an olr gay stunt boastg about his wild sexual pas that weekend. It's also a great place to bch about (and brastorm solutns to) any heteronormative pany-wi 't put up wh low-key homophobic languageIn 2018, most of are lucky enough not to work wh outright bigots.

HOW GAY MEN NAVIGATE THE CORPORATE WORLD

It was clear that I had reached a breakg pot: Although I had e out as a gay man to iends and fay years earlier, I was walkg right back to the closet and lockg my te inty away every day om 9 a.

That inty, the actualized versn of a gay man I had always hoped to bee and fally did, never entered the workplace, however.

GAY MEN AT WORK.

I was hired by a startup s early stag, and quickly learned two thgs my first week: I was the first and only openly gay man hired by the pany, and the all-male management had no ia I wasn’t sexually terted women. I didn’t know at the time, but I wasn’t alone worryg about standg out for the wrong reasons as the only gay man the office.

HOW COMPANI MAKE IT HARR FOR LBIAN, GAY, AND BISEXUAL EMPLOYE TO ACHIEVE WORK-LIFE BALANCE

I wasn’t worried about havg supportive lleagu or LGBTQ peers: I was hell-bent on extractg everythg I uld get out of this opportuny for my reer, even if turned out I was once aga the only openly gay man the office. I was workg the largt edorial team I had ever been a part of New York Cy, at one of the olst news magaz the natn, and yet I was the only openly gay man at the publitn’s headquarters (only one other gay man was employed by the pany at the time, and worked remotely a part-time posn).

Miller, who was raised a relig fay, and stggled to e to terms wh his gay and genr-fluid inty, first me out at work while bartendg. Many gay men the workplace feel ashamed or awkward of their sexual orientatn and believe, sometim whout mer, that their lleagu will treat them differently bee of . Gabe Deremiens, a Toronto based IT Project Manager and gay man himself, om his own experience, regnized the issu gay men have the workplace and now ach them to improve their learship skills and build their nfince the workplace to overe the fears many harbor.

HOW TO LOOK GREAT AS A GAY MAN

And even whout any negativy beg prent, suici and addictn n often rult merely due to their own fear of how others may perceive them if they fd out they are gay, and the need to feel acceptance the workplace; somethg most of take for granted, ” shar Gabe. 46% of LGBTQ workers say they are closeted at work, pared to 50% HRCF’s ground-breakg 2008 Degre of Equaly report31% of LGBTQ workers say they have felt unhappy or prsed at work34% of lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr people choose not to disclose their sexualy at workMany work hard to eva qutns about fay life for fear that revealg their sexualy will make work relatns difficult. Gabe is keen to help gay profsnals avoid this fear and overe the barriers to beg a gay lear and thrivg, to ensure they bee strong lears and avoid mental and physil health issu that stem om the fears.

We recently had a chat wh Gabe to discs his work and why is important for him to help gay men overe fear the workplace. Gabe Deremiens: The biggt challeng that I’ve faced as a profsnal gay man at work fall to one of three tegori – discrimatn, fear, and/or harassment. GD: Here’s an example of discrimatn I faced at work where I was the only gay guy (that I was aware of at the time) workg a huge IT anizatn and the number of gay, bisexual, lbian so-lled “jok” seemed endls.

The sourc of this fear at work ranged om isolatn or beg ostracized (sometim I’d be centered out as the partment’s gay guy), to fear of not beg accepted (beg different than everyone else), beg bullied, beg lled nam to a fear of not beg promoted or even hired the first place. KJ: Do you thk that many gay men who are harborg the fears discrimatn, alienatn and aquacy may not even be aware that this is happeng? For example, if we are beg physilly attacked jt for beg gay, we are so sred that moment that likely all we’re thkg about are ways to pe.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

For s of discrimatn, such as appropriate jok based on sexual orientatn, however, gay men experiencg this may be aware this is happeng, but the associated feelgs of alienatn, aquacy, those feelgs will likely surface after-the-fact as well. KJ: What do you thk pani and profsnal anizatns n do to better support gay men and other LGBTQ people the workplace? ” In my opn, there is much more work that needs to be done by pani and profsnal anizatns to better support gay men and other LGBTQ people the workplace.

GD: I have a book planned to lnch March of 2023 tentatively tled How to be a Rockstar Role Mol: A Learship Mol for Profsnal Gay Men. Also, if you’re a profsnal gay man who wants to improve his learship skills, please feel ee to jo our Facebook group lled “The 10% Circle. He has worked at the same place for 27 years, specializg highway nstctn, and while he knows that some of his lleagu spect he is gay, he has never revealed his sexualy at the office.

Jason works at a major rporatn one of the 29 stat where private pani n legally fire, or not hire, someone bee she or he is gay.

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

“There is no protectn, ” said the gay rights activist, ncedg that there is some hypocrisy mpaigng for gay rights while ncealg his homosexualy. Another jot study by Delote, a nsultg and fancial servic firm, and New York Universy, found that 83% of lbian, gay and bisexual workers reported “verg” a part of their sexual inty at work. Apple CEO Tim Cook publicly acknowledged Thursday that he is gay, beg the only CEO of a Fortune 500 pany to announce his homosexualy while at the helm of a major pany.

“So if hearg that the CEO of Apple is gay n help someone stgglg to e to terms wh who he or she is, or brg fort to anyone who feels alone, or spire people to sist on their equaly, then ’s worth the tra-off wh my own privacy. “Proud of Tim Cook for g his voice and his fluence to help others, ” tennis legend and openly gay athlete Billie Jean Kg wrote.

Brandon’s ncern was backed by a 2011 Harvard study that found some stat, there was signifint discrimatn agast openly gay applints, wh gay job applints approximately 40% ls likely to be offered a job terview than their heterosexual unterparts. Rearch suggts that openly gay job applints some dtri are as much as forty percent ls likely to receive job terviews. Many the gay and lbian muny prrized workplace reform over marriage reform—before the Supreme Court lg—acrdg to Keh Cunngham-Paremeter the Florida Law Review.

JAGS' MAXEN IS FIRST MALE AMERIN PRO SPORTS ACH TO E OUT AS GAY

A number of studi have found that Amerins are much more posive toward formal rights than they are toward rmal privileg, such as public displays of affectn, revealg that acceptance of lbian and gay sexualy is still plete. Recent soclogy rearch at the Universy of Ccnati looked closely at the var strategi gay men e to manage both their genred and sexual inti the workplace. Travis Dean Speice, a new soclogy doctoral graduate at the Universy of Ccnati, says his rearch dit that gay men often feel they have to change certa distct gtur and body language behavrs orr to avoid potential negative nsequenc om his study, Speice nducted -pth terviews of men between the ag of 22-52 who intify as gay, analyzg their thoughts on masculy, femy, gayns, how they me out and their specific job scriptns, which he says is where a lot of nsc manipulatn of inty management happens.

”Hidg pla sightSpeice explas the strategi for avoidg scty g a ncept he termed "hegemonic sexualy, " a tool he to unrstand how gay men are posned hierarchilly wh society. The rearcher says some men are labeled as "too gay, " and rponnts associate that label wh var speech patterns, body language and clothg choic that do not f to an ialized form of hegemonic masculy, or other monly known mascule behavrs. Men then have the choice to perform masculy and gayns any number of ways, wh some men attemptg to perform a more tradnal mascule versn of themselv at work.

KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

"While many gay men have reers where they are rpected and accepted for beg themselv, several others feel that they have to hi, modify or nceal their behavral characteristics and speak, act and drs more "profsnally. "Speice prented the analysis of the strategi Augt a paper tled “(Gay) Men at Work: Unrstandg Genred and Sexual Inty Management Strategi the Workplace, ” at the annual meetg of the Amerin Soclogil Associatn Sectn on the Soclogy of addrs three cril areas where gay men manage their inty the workplace:. “The lor of his cloth was signifint his perceptn of his own masculy and gay inty, but later beme too flamboyant the face of scty.