Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
• 15 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND MAY BE GAY – AND WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
• IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• I THK HE MAY BE GAY
• HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• 9 SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR IF YOU THK YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY
• DO GAY PEOPLE GO TO HEAVEN?
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn. Number one is the high cince of male-female upl enterg my office bee the woman thks her man might be gay. He’s actually straight, but for whatever reason, he’s been lookg at gay porn or he’s been havg sex wh men.

A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY

That’s unual, bee most gay men, even most gay therapists, believe that if a guy is havg gay sex, he’s gay. ” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.

When a man is a long-term relatnship wh a woman but beg sexual wh men, eher lookg at porn or havg actual sex, he eher will or won’t be homophobic. The straight men have no homophobia at all—to the pot where they’re willg to seek unselg om me, an openly gay therapist. A lot of tim the gay men never even make to me (whout promptg om their wife, anyway) bee they’re riddled wh homophobia and I’m too gay for them.

15 SIGNS YOUR BOYIEND MAY BE GAY – AND WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

So if a client is stgglg wh his sexual orientatn and he’s got a lot of homophobia, he’s probably gay. A gay guy wants to do all of that wh a man, a bisexual guy might want a man or a woman, and the straight guy wants to only be wh a woman that way. So this is a way of bondg wh men—ironilly, through sex—and happens not bee the man is gay but bee he don’t know any other way to get this need met.

Eher they’re worried that their man will eventually ci he’s gay and end the relatnship, or they want monogamy, and his cheatg is a threat to the marriage regardls of who he’s dog wh. And I should pot out here that the men when they’re engagg this behavr (regardls of whether they’re gay, straight or bi) nearly always tell themselv that what they’re dog is not cheatg bee they’re dog wh a guy.

If you're a woman, you may have noticed thgs about your boyiend that lead you to believe he's gay or terted men.

IS MY HBAND GAY? SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND

There are many reasons why someone might act this way, so this by self is not a surefire sign that he’s gay. If you believe your boyiend lov and r for you but he "seems to be gay, " keep md that he uld be bisexual, pansexual, or terted men. If he’s gay, he might thrive on other men’s attentn, equently touch or hug them, or exchange flirty ments wh them (pecially about their physil appearance).

Notice if he equently hangs out wh his gay iends, or jos them on nights out at LGBTQ+ bars and clubs. ” Notice if he acts unfortable around gay men, regularly mak homophobic ments or jok, or liberately never talks about anythg remotely gay.

He might also be wrtlg wh ternalized homophobia or self-loathg bee of the nflict between his inty and his upbrgg. An enunter his teen or llege years is more likely to mean he’s gay or queer than an experience later life, which uld have more plex explanatns.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Don’t rely on gay stereotyp like an effemate voice or walk, flashy or tight clothg, his TV and mic preferenc, or beg a neat eak to terme your boyiend’s sexualy. In this article we are gog to talk about some signs your boyiend or hband may be gay and what you n (and should) do. Whether you’re here for yourself or to fd out if someone else uld be experiencg this suatn, let’s take a look at some signs that your “straight” boyiend might actually be gay…and what you n do.

It’s possible he’s not gay at all and jt has an awarens that the ias of “mascule” and “feme” are social nstcts that lim our velopment. However, if you see a woman so hot you’re surprised he didn’t notice, he uld be gay — or, once aga, a good man.

Or he uld be a straight man who is fortable enough wh his own sexualy not to feel threatened by havg a variety of iends, cludg gay on. If you notice your boyiend has a lot of targeted ads for gay men on his phone or social media, ’s possible that he’s been some onle realms for gay men.

I THK HE MAY BE GAY

Not every homophobe is gay, but certaly shows a disfort wh their sexualy that they probably aren’t revealg on purpose. His tert back door activi over ont door on, to put litely, are not necsarily a sign that he’s gay. If your boyiend spends a lot of time talkg about how judgmental his fay, town, lleagu, and society general is about gay people, he might be exprsg some ncern about what might be like to e out as a gay man.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I AM GAY? SIGNS YOU ARE GAY

Sometim a woman may have been a heterosexual relatnship for years and yet feel somethg is somehow "off;" and she may fd herself askg, "Is my hband gay?

" Many women fd this qutn unthkable but acrdg to Bonnie Kaye,, an expert women married to gay men, is timated that 4 ln women have been, or are, married to gay men. Unfortunately, is timated that 50% of gay hbands hi their homosexualy om their wiv and don't reach this place of honty on their own. In many s, is the wife, who after spectg that somethg is wrong, mt nont the gay hband wh the evince, and only then n hontly be achieved.

But if you're wonrg, "Is my man gay, " might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, acrdg to Kaye. A hband may be gay and display none of those signs or a hband may display the signs and not be gay. If turns out that a hband is, fact, gay, the fallout n be difficult to al wh, particularly for the straight partner.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

What's important to remember is that the hband's homosexualy is entirely his rponsibily and has nothg to do wh the wife. The wife has not been aquate any way and likely the gay hband married her bee he tly red about her. You may want to know if your iend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're stayg closeted.

9 SIGNS TO WATCH OUT FOR IF YOU THK YOUR BOYIEND IS GAY

For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to.

If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women. One of the theori about why some people are gay has to do wh the hormon that they're exposed to before they're born.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

The hormone exposure levels may manift actual, physil ways which n be a vague ditor that a guy might be gay.

It is possible that your guy iend is not gay but stead falls somewhere else on the Ksey sle of unirns and awomens. Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge.

Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny.

PARENT SPECTS THAT CHILD MIGHT BE GAY

The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together. There's the stereotype that if a guy is a good drser or if he spends a bunch of time on his hair, he's gay. Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you.

DO GAY PEOPLE GO TO HEAVEN?

You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay.

He do a great job of showg people that there's more to gay people than all those offensive stereotyp. This is the bt way to fd out if someone is gay and much ls offensive than makg assumptns about them. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay?

Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

Pay attentn to how much he talks about women a romantic or sexual way, sce a lack of tert women uld suggt he’s gay.