The Fotten Secret Language of Gay Men - Atlas Obscura

Contents:

• CAN GAY PEOPLE JT SAY NO?
• THE FOTTEN SECRET LANGUAGE OF GAY MEN
• GAY PEOPLE SAY NO
• HERE'S WHAT FLORIDA'S 'DON'T SAY GAY' BILL WOULD DO AND WHAT WOULDN'T DO
• GAY PEOPLE SAY NO ED MEANG
• 10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED
• FLORIDA'S ERNOR SIGNS NTROVERSIAL LAW OPPONENTS DUBBED 'DON'T SAY GAY'
• FLORIDA'S NTROVERSIAL 'DON'T SAY GAY' BILL: WHAT'S SI THE PROPOSED LAW
• WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ‘THAT’S SO GAY’ & OTHER ANTI-LGBTQ+ COMMENTS?
• ‘DON’T SAY GAY’ BILL: FLORIDA SENATE PASS NTROVERSIAL LGBTQ SCHOOL MEASURE
• AFTER YEARS OF PROGRS ON GAY RIGHTS, HOW DID THE US BEE SO ANTI-LGBTQ+?
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

CAN GAY PEOPLE JT SAY NO?

Today a number of groups tell people 's possible to stop beg gay, sayg that through therapy and prayer, God n help people change their sexual groups offer advice such as tellg gay people to hale ammonia when they have homosexual thoughts.

THE FOTTEN SECRET LANGUAGE OF GAY MEN

Durg the terim years, when beg openly non-straight brought the risks of social isolatn and crimal prosecutn, Polari provid gay men wh a subtle way to fd one another for pannship and sex. In the late ‘60s, as gay liberatn groups were fightg for regnn and equaly, Polari h mastream Brish pop-culture the form of Julian and Sandy, two flamboyant, not-officially-but-pretty-obvly gay characters on a BBC rad show lled Round the Horne.

Dolan brgs up the pot that gay men shouldn’t have to be “straight-actg” orr to be accepted: “Might not be more fun to embrace a b more mp and actually have fun wh ourselv and wh each other?

GAY PEOPLE SAY NO

But Florida’s Parental Rights Edutn act — which crics have dubbed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill — has sudnly sparked a natnal war of recent weeks, lears of global rporatns, edorial boards of major newspapers and Hollywood actors have all weighed on the proposed legislatn, wh some llg “eply disturbg” and others “nonntroversial. The bill, which passed Florida’s Senate last week and the state’s Hoe of Reprentativ Febary, do, however, nta the terms “sexual orientatn” and “genr inty, ” each legal experts say that whether the bill prohibs the word “gay” self is a “distractn. ”Beyond brandg, a re argument over the bill centers around whether would prohib the “stctn” or “discsn” of sexual bill’s sponsors have emphatilly stated that the bill would not prohib stunts om talkg about their LGBTQ fai or bar classroom discsns about LGBTQ history, cludg events like the 2016 adly attack on the Pulse nightclub, a gay club Orlando.

I am iends wh a few gay people and ive never heard once my life someone say, "no hetero, " this is tly a mystery but if anyone is gay and has the answer to this please msage me, I need to get to the bottom of this. Some heterosexual men say no homo to emphasize their sexual orientatn after sayg somethg plimentary, affectnate, or otherwise posive to another man that they worry uld be terpreted as romantic or sexual.

Ever sce born-aga sger and orange juice pchwoman Ana Bryant helped kick off the ntemporary anti-gay movement some 40 years ago, hard-le elements of the relig right have been searchg for ways to monize gay people — or, at a mimum, to fd arguments that will prevent their normalizatn society. But addn to hawkg that myth, the legns of anti-gay activists who followed have add a panoply of others, rangg om the extremely doubtful claim that sexual orientatn is a choice, to unalloyed li like the claims that gay men molt children far more than heterosexuals or that hate crime laws will lead to the legalizatn of btialy and necrophilia. The fairy tal are important to the anti-gay right bee they form the basis of s claim that homosexualy is a social evil that mt be supprsed — an opn rejected by virtually all relevant medil and scientific thori.

HERE'S WHAT FLORIDA'S 'DON'T SAY GAY' BILL WOULD DO AND WHAT WOULDN'T DO

Depictg gay men as a threat to children may be the sgle most potent weapon for stokg public fears about homosexualy — and for wng electns and referenda, as Ana Bryant found out durg her succsful 1977 mpaign to overturn a Da County, Fla., ordance barrg discrimatn agast gay people. Others have ced a group lled the Amerin College of Pediatricians (ACPeds) to claim, as Tony Perks of the Fay Rearch Council did November 2010, that "the rearch is overwhelmg that homosexualy pos a [moltatn] danger to children. Gregory Herek, a profsor at the Universy of California, Davis, who is one of the natn's leadg rearchers on prejudice agast sexual mori, reviewed a seri of studi and found no evince that gay men molt children at higher rat than heterosexual men.

The Amerin Amy of Child & Adolcent Psychiatry affirmed 2013 that “[c]urrent rearch shows that children wh gay and lbian parents do not differ om children wh heterosexual parents their emotnal velopment or their relatnships wh peers and adults” and they are “not more likely than children of heterosexual parents to velop emotnal or behavral problems.

The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics (AAP) a 2002 policy statement clared: "A growg body of scientific lerature monstrat that children who grow up wh one or two gay and/or lbian parents fare as well emotnal, gnive, social, and sexual functng as do children whose parents are heterosexual. Siarly, the Child Welfare League of Ameri's official posn wh regard to same-sex parents is that "lbian, gay, and bisexual parents are as well-sued to raise children as their heterosexual unterparts.

GAY PEOPLE SAY NO ED MEANG

A 2013 prelimary study Atralia found that the children of lbian and gay parents are not only thrivg, but may actually have better overall health and higher rat of fay hn than heterosexual fai. A si effect of this argument is the monizatn of parents of gay men and lbians, who are led to wonr if they failed to protect a child agast sexual abe or failed as role mols some important way. ” Schumm, who has also argued that lbian relatnships are unstable, has ti to discreded psychologist and anti-LGBT fabulist Pl Cameron, the thor of numero pletely basels “studi” about the alleged evils of homosexualy.

The Amerin Psychiatric Associatn noted a 2000 fact sheet available on the Associatn of Gay and Lbian Psychiatrists, that alg wh gay, lbian and bisexual issu, that sexual abe do not appear to be any more prevalent among children who grow up and intify as gay, lbian or bisexual than children who grow up and intify as heterosexual. Siarly, the Natnal Organizatn on Male Sexual Victimizatn not on s webse that "experts the human sexualy field do not believe that premature sexual experienc play a signifint role late adolcent or adult sexual orientatn" and add that 's unlikely that anyone n make another person gay or heterosexual.

Warren Throckmorton, a psychologist at the Christian Grove Cy College, noted an analysis that “the rearch on sexual abe among GLBT populatns is often mised to make ferenc about atn [of homosexualy]. Anti-LGBT anizatns, seekg to promote heterosexualy as the healthier "choice, " often offer up the purportedly shorter life spans and poorer physil and mental health of gays and lbians as reasons why they shouldn't be allowed to adopt or foster children. " Usg obuari llected om newspapers servg the gay muny, he and his two -thors nclud that gay men died, on average, at 43, pared to an average life expectancy at the time of around 73 for all U.

10 ANTI-GAY MYTHS DEBUNKED

On the basis of the same obuari, Cameron also claimed that gay men are 18 tim more likely to die r accints than heterosexuals, 22 tim more likely to die of heart attacks than wh, and 11 tim more likely than blacks to die of the same e.

Anti-LGBT anizatns have also tried to support this claim by distortg the work of legimate scholars, like a 1997 study nducted by a Canadian team of rearchers that alt wh gay and bisexual men livg Vanuver the late 1980s and early 1990s. Lively is the vilently anti-gay founr of Abidg Tth Mistri and Abrams is an anizer of a group lled the Internatnal Commtee for Holot Tth, which me together 1994 and clud Lively as a member.

Christe Mueller, profsor of history at Reed College, did a 1994 le-by-le refutatn of an earlier Abrams article on the topic and of the broar claim that the Nazi Party was "entirely ntrolled" by gay men.

FLORIDA'S ERNOR SIGNS NTROVERSIAL LAW OPPONENTS DUBBED 'DON'T SAY GAY'

Anti-gay activists, who have long opposed addg LGBT people to those protected by hate crime legislatn, have repeatedly claimed that such laws would lead to the jailg of relig figur who preach agast homosexualy — part of a bid to ga the backg of the broar relig muny for their posn.

FLORIDA'S NTROVERSIAL 'DON'T SAY GAY' BILL: WHAT'S SI THE PROPOSED LAW

Anti-gay groups have been adamantly opposed to allowg gay men and lbians to serve openly the armed forc, not only bee of their purported fear that bat reads will be unrmed, but bee the ary has long been nsired the purt merocracy Ameri (the armed forc were succsfully racially tegrated long before Amerin civil society, for example).

At the same time, gays and lbians have served openly for years the armed forc of 25 untri (as of 2010), cludg Bra, Israel, South Ai, Canada and Atralia, acrdg to a report released by the Palm Center, a policy thk tank at the Universy of California at Santa Barbara.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO ‘THAT’S SO GAY’ & OTHER ANTI-LGBTQ+ COMMENTS?

" Siarly, a 1985 survey of 6, 500 male Canadian service members and a 1996 survey of 13, 500 Brish service members each revealed that nearly two-thirds exprsed strong rervatns about servg wh gays. Dpe the fact that gay men and lbians have been servg openly the ary sce September 2011, anti-LGBT groups ntue to claim that openly gay personnel are g problems the ary, cludg claims of sexual abe by gay and lbian soldiers of straight soldiers.

The anizatn removed homosexualy om s official diagnostic manual 1973 after extensive review of the scientific lerature and nsultatn wh experts, who nclud that homosexualy is not a mental illns. Though is te that LGBT people tend to suffer higher rat of anxiety, prsn, and prsn-related illns and behavrs like alhol and dg abe than the general populatn, that is due to the historil social stigmatizatn of homosexualy and vlence directed at LGBT people, not bee of homosexualy self.

A report prented by the Council on Scientific Affairs to the AMA Hoe of Delegat Interim Meetg wh regard to reparative (“ex-gay”) therapy noted that most of the emotnal disturbance gay men and lbians experience around their sexual inty is not based on physlogil , but rather on “a sense of alienatn an unacceptg environment. Mark Hatzenbuehler, a socmedil scienc profsor at the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia Universy, said that the data gathered the study suggts that “sexual mori livg muni wh high levels of anti-gay prejudice have creased risk of mortaly, pared to low-prejudice muni. Qazi Rahman, study -thor and a leadg scientist on human sexual orientatn, said: "This study puts ld water on any ncerns that we are lookg for a sgle 'gay gene' or a sgle environmental variable which uld be ed to 'select out' homosexualy — the factors which fluence sexual orientatn are plex.

‘DON’T SAY GAY’ BILL: FLORIDA SENATE PASS NTROVERSIAL LGBTQ SCHOOL MEASURE

" In 1994, the APA noted that “homosexualy is not a matter of dividual choice” and that rearch “suggts that the homosexual orientatn is place very early the life cycle, possibly even before birth. The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics stated 1993 (updated 2004) that “homosexualy has existed most societi for as long as rerd scriptns of sexual beliefs and practic have been available” and that even at that time, “most scholars the field state that one’s sexual orientatn is not a choice … dividuals do not choose to be homosexual or heterosexual. A number of "ex-gay" relig mistri have spng up recent years wh the aim of teachg gay people to bee heterosexuals, and the have bee prime purveyors of the claim that gays and lbians, wh the aid of mental therapy and Christian teachgs, n "e out of homosexualy.

" Meanwhile, a more secular ve, the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy scrib self as "a profsnal, scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy. "Reparative" or sexual reorientatn therapy — the psdo-scientific foundatn of the ex-gay movement — has been rejected by all the tablished and reputable Amerin medil, psychologil, psychiatric and profsnal unselg anizatns. The report nclud that pellg evince suggted that s of dividuals gog om gay to straight were "rare" and that "many dividuals ntued to experience same-sex sexual attractns" after reparative therapy.

AFTER YEARS OF PROGRS ON GAY RIGHTS, HOW DID THE US BEE SO ANTI-LGBTQ+?

The Amerin Medil Associatn officially oppos reparative therapy that is “based on the assumptn that homosexualy per se is a mental disorr or based on an a prri assumptn that the person should change his/her homosexual orientatn.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

However, the bill's nickname om activists has bee "Don't Say Gay" and "Don't Say Trans" bee advot have said they believe would make LGBTQ people taboo once aga classrooms, settg back the progrs ma by the LGBTQ muny the last few advocy anizatns say the bills are remiscent of the "no promo homo" laws of the 1990s that barred tors om discsg LGBTQ topics school classrooms.

The march was held to prott Florida's "Don't Say Gay" Wt/The News-Prs via USA Today NetworkAt least four stat still have such laws on the books, cludg Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Oklahoma. "One of the differenc between the bills and some of the 'no promo homo' laws that passed the 1990s is the heavy-hand mandate on parent and fay volvement, " Melanie Willgham-Jaggers, the executive director of LGBTQ advocy group GLSEN, told ABC add: "We've learned that the prence of even one supportive adult mak all the difference. If you have been hearg the phrase “That’s gay” or “no homo, ” take time durg class to make sure that your stunts know what “gay” means and know why is hurtful to e as a ment or put-down.