What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• MY 14 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS SEEING A 17 YEAR OLD
• I THK MY 14 YEAR OLD IS GAY
• GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"
• UNSEEN, PART 3: POPULAR GAY DATG APP GRDR POS EXPLOATN RISK TO MORS
• GAY TEENAGER BTALLY BEATEN AND CHOKED BY FELLOW STUNT FOR WEARG A PRI FLAG
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

MY 14 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS SEEING A 17 YEAR OLD

I never anticipated that many of my -workers would bicker wh and gossip about each other or that I would hear homophobic, racist, and sexist ments on a daily basis.

I THK MY 14 YEAR OLD IS GAY

There was fely a homophobic and racist element that office, but then I’ve heard siar thgs and worse a large rporate office Hoton, Texas. S., I thk part of the reason for the sea change the views on gay marriage is that as people started g out, changed the mds of homophob about who was gay.

They started to realize gay people were their lightful lleagu and fay members. Then if you’re iends, you n more easily say, “Rupert, I’m unfortable when you make gay jok. A gay 14-year-old om Defiance, Oh, was vicly attacked at school last week when draped a Pri flag.

"This was my official way of sayg I was gay and not tryg to hi . Gvanni's mother Veroni Melton told Las Vegas ABC affiliate KTNV that she believ Wenll shot and killed their son bee he was gay.

GAY KIDS COMG OUT YOUNGER, BUT PARENTS ASK "HOW DO YOU KNOW?"

"When I was married to him, he would make very disparagg remarks agast people that were gay, and to me I know that he was homophobic, " she said.

"He hated the fact that his son was gay, " said Jon. "I'm sure that si of his md, he would rather have a ad son than a gay son.

It's a romance about a gay teenager who hasn't yet e out to his iends and fay. There's a great scene where Simon ponrs why gay people have to "e out" and imag how would be if his iends had to announce to their fai that they were straight.

UNSEEN, PART 3: POPULAR GAY DATG APP GRDR POS EXPLOATN RISK TO MORS

Gay kids are g out earlier — sometim middle school — and many are fdg acceptance. Enuraggly, beg young and openly gay seems to be gettg easier.

Denizet-Lewis wr that when he started workg for the gay men's magaze XY 1998, "we received dozens of letters each week om teenagers the pths of spair. " Three years later, he says, "a new kd of gay adolcent was appearg on the page - proud, rilient, sometim even happy.

" He explas, That's not to say that gay teenagers didn't still suffer harassment at school or rejectn at home, but many seemed ls burned wh shame and self-loathg than their olr gay peers. Not only were there creasgly accurate and posive portrayals of gays and lbians popular culture, but most teenagers were by then regular Inter ers.

GAY TEENAGER BTALLY BEATEN AND CHOKED BY FELLOW STUNT FOR WEARG A PRI FLAG

Gog onle broke through the isolatn that had been a hallmark of beg young and gay, and allowed gay teenagers to fd rmatn to refute what their fai or church sometim still told them - namely, that they would never fd happs and to the Inter and to creasg cultural acceptance of homosexualy (an crease marred, we should note, by measur like Proposn 8), kids who might once have waed until high school or even llege to e out are now dog so earlier.

At least 120 middle schools the untry have gay-straight alliance groups, and others let stunts observe the natnal Day of Silence prott agast anti-gay harassment. " They were not, however, silent: "Good luck gettg middle-schoolers not to talk, " the school unselor youth of the Webster kids and other gay middle-schoolers is a sign of how far gay rights have e — but 's also the kids' biggt obstacle to acceptance.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

A tellg anecdote om Nadia, the mom of a gay 15-year-old named At. " But she had actually asked At if he was gay when she found out he had lled a gay chat le. The irony of a parent spectg her kid is gay and then refg to believe he uld know his own orientatn highlights how much more difficulty some parents have wh burgeong gay sexualy than they would wh a straight kid's of this may have to do wh the misnceptn that you have to have gay terurse to be gay, or that homosexualy is somehow a more "sexual" orientatn than heterosexualy.

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

'Eileen Ross, director of a Mounta View, CA program for gay youth, says that when a 12-year-old boy says he lik girls, "No one says to them: 'Are you sure? A lawyer Florida argued that gay-straight allianc promote the "premature sexualizatn of the stunts, " and when At started a gay-straight alliance, his Michigan school ma him ll somethg "ls ntroversial" (he chose "Peace Alliance"). Denizet-Lewis reports the hopeful words of velopmental psychologist Rch Sav-Williams: "This is the first generatn of gay kids who have the great joy of beg able to argue wh their parents about datg, jt like their straight peers do.

And maybe today's gay kids are slowly startg to receive via New York Tim Out In Middle School [NYT Magaze]. German Chavez was 14 years old when he first started g a gay datg app lled Grdr to fd adult men to pay him for need to help his troubled sgle mother pay the bills, he said, and had no trouble fdg men to purchase him on the popular lotn-based mobile 25 and years away om the sex tra, Chavez is warng other mors to stay away om Grdr, one of the most popular apps the untry for gay and bisexual men.

The pany touts s mobile platform as “The World’s Largt Social Networkg App for Gay, Bi, Trans and Queer People” and says s ers have to be 18 years old and the app is teemg wh unrage gay, bisexual and qutng boys, acrdg to rearchers, child exploatn specialists and ers like Chavez who say they n easily lie about their age to ga accs to the LGBTQ teens are seekg nnectn a world that provis few safe spac, rearchers say.