Gay Men and Their Fathers: Hurt and Healg | Psychology Today

Contents:

• DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR
• ‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD
• MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI
• AFTER ORLANDO, 21 PHOTOS OF GAY DADS AND THEIR KIDS TO HELP YOU SE AGA
• COMG OUT TO DAD: YOUNG GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN'S EXPERIENC DISCLOSG SAME-SEX ATTRACTN TO THEIR FATHERS
• GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG
• GAY FATHERS FACE STIGMA AS PARENTS
• TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD
• COMG OUT TO DAD: YOUNG GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN’S EXPERIENC DISCLOSG SAME-SEX ATTRACTN TO THEIR FATHERS
• 'LOVE ALWAYS WS': GAY FATHERS DISCS JOYS AND CHALLENG OF PARENTG MORN AMERI
• FATHER’S DAY FOR GAY BOYS
• GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

DAD AND DAD: A JOURNEY TO GAY FATHERHOOD – PICTUR

Although the school and Jack’s iends know that Jack has two gay dads there was some tensn the air while posg for this photo the middle of a sports field wh all the other players around. Celebri like Anrson Cooper have helped normalize the ia of gay men raisg children, and no longer feels revelatory to see them on televisn, as did when “Morn Fay” premiered mon, Mr.

‘A FAY LIKE OURS’: PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERHOOD

Heynen said, but rather a celebratn of the day-to-day liv of gay Jt for the YoungCly Rose, 61, and Ryan, 12Cly Rose, who liv Manhattan, was first photographed for “Dads” three years ago after meetg Mr. Heynen “a lot of cred” for cludg a father like him — a sgle dad his 60s — sce he said there is often a lack of reprentatn of olr gay people art and media, which tends to foc on young, f men.

MOVG PORTRAS OF GAY FATHERS WH THEIR FAI ACROSS AMERI

Such a photograph would have been extraordarily rare jt s ago, but now is one of many published the book “Dads, ” a four-year visual archive of gay fatherhood across Ameri that began 2016.

AFTER ORLANDO, 21 PHOTOS OF GAY DADS AND THEIR KIDS TO HELP YOU SE AGA

“I felt a ltle b lonely as a gay dad – although there are two of – but lonely the sense that all the other fai I knew were straight parents, ” Heynen said a vio ll, explag why he began photographg the seri. Heynen, as well as the fathers he photographed, hope that the photographs “Dads” will dispel some of the hurtful stereotyp that still lger around gay fatherhood.

COMG OUT TO DAD: YOUNG GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN'S EXPERIENC DISCLOSG SAME-SEX ATTRACTN TO THEIR FATHERS

Hosted by Wt Hollywood uple Yan and Alex, the dads e each episo to chat parentg and relatnships, and lately have been focg each episo on the gay rights and fatherhood pathways by untry, and vg a gay father om each lotn on as a gut. This YA g-of-age novel follows high schooler Sal, who was adopted to a lovg Mexin Amerin fay by his gay father, when he begs to qutn his inty and place the world durg his senr year.

There wasn't much of a plan, no guibook hand, only goals that I hoped my boys would start the procs of unrstandg and acceptg their dad for whom I tly was: a gay Stt TakacsIt had been a long 15 months sce g out to my wife, an experience I unfortunately wouldn't scribe as posive, fun or somethg I ever want to repeat. My kids listened and followed their prr to g out, was hard for me to hear my kids e home wh stori of teachers gradg gay marriage or gay people, to see their workbooks, rercg the bias agast beg gay. The last thg I wanted was for my kids to be treated differently bee they had a gay dad, which I felt was a the year followg my divorce, I agreed not to tell the kids I was gay, so I had to be reful.

After Orlando, 21 photos of gay dads and their kids to help you se agaThe Father's Day photos of gay dads and their fai show that love all 17, 2016, 9:47 PM UTC / Source: TODAYIt tak a special kd of mment for gay men to bee parents, which is one reason they serve to be celebrated this Father's Day. What's more, many gay upl adopt om the foster re system, helpg hard-to-place kids fd permanent honor the voted dads — and provi some uplift after the tragedy Orlando — we've llected 21 photos of thrivg fai om the webse Gays Wh Kids. The dads span the globe and show that love all if you really want to pull out the tissu, check out Gays Wh Kids' seri "Then and Now" about how some of the fai me to be!

GAY MEN AND THEIR FATHERS: HURT AND HEALG

Matthew and Harold wh Randall, Jeremy and Mattie Newton, Wh and John wh Julianne and Jack New York Wh KidsRELATED: My Two Dads: Gay Fathers Have Much to and Brian wh Trenton San Pablo, Wh and Patrick wh Lorenzo, Liam, Lily and Leo Wh Kids7.

GAY FATHERS FACE STIGMA AS PARENTS

Semistctured -pth terviews wh 30 gay and bisexual men aged 18 to 24 years were nducted as part of a larger study; topics explored the terview clud experienc g out to fay and others. Acrdg to Michael Kimmel, a soclogist and expert on male sex rol, men monstrate their masculy by repudiatg all that is feme and monstratg an ever-ready willgns to engage sexual terurse wh women whenever the opportuny aris- a nutshell, to prove they are not gay. Th is no wonr that the boys the study for my book: Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, relled beg so reactive and fearful of the rpons of their fathers—the very people who were expectg them to receive and rry the torch of masculy.

TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD

" Add to this shame and disappotment men's tenncy to be stoic about problems to avoid appearg petent or weak and one gets a sense why many fathers, like those of the boys prevly quoted, did not want to discs such a topic wh a stranger—a gay stranger, no ls. Richard Isay, a psychoanalyst who specializ work wh gay men believ that gay mal unrgo a reverse-Oedipal plex whereby, as young boys, they bee subnscly sexually attracted to their fathers (rather than their mothers). When the boy is a toddler, the father anxly sens the sublimal sexual charge their relatnship and, bee he is socialized to be repelled and aaid of homosexualy, he nsequently disengag om his son.

Oedipal issu asi, a velopg gay boy may monstrate some tradnally feme gtur or terts that forhadow an adult homosexual orientatn, which may turn make his father unfortable and want to distance.

COMG OUT TO DAD: YOUNG GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN’S EXPERIENC DISCLOSG SAME-SEX ATTRACTN TO THEIR FATHERS

If this primary relatnship is characterized by fear, distance, and hostily durg childhood, as is for many gay men, this will no doubt terfere wh his abily to form and mata timate, mted relatnships wh male partners his future. For gay sons of all ag, but pecially those who are stgglg to tablish, fix, or strengthen their current same-sex relatnships, might be a good ia to look toward their past relatnships wh their fathers for sights and answers.

Eher way, I have found my clil work wh gay men that much eful rmatn n be gaed by examg past, and even prent father-son teractns to terme what patterns are beg repeated and/or reacted to their current relatnships. Certaly all fathers need to show that they love their sons and dghters, but fathers of gay sons need to fd ways to surmount the barrier of homophobia and socially scripted queass about gay sex to show their sons that they are ed lovable and serve the love of a good man.

Although I rarely remend fictn to my clients or stunts, I urge all fathers of gay sons to follow the televisn seri Glee to study the relatnship between the gay character Kurt Hummel and his dad, Burt. Supreme Court legalized gay marriage natnwi 2015, advancg legal parentg rights for same-sex upl wh almost two-thirds of gay fathers experience stigma based on their stat as homosexual dads, and half of them avoid suatns out of fear of mistreatment or discrimatn, the current study children experience stigma, too. One-third of gay fathers said their kids were stigmatized by other children, and one five dads said their children had avoid formg iendships out of fear of mistreatment or discrimatn.

'LOVE ALWAYS WS': GAY FATHERS DISCS JOYS AND CHALLENG OF PARENTG MORN AMERI

“Legal protectns today are much more expansive than they were a ago, which turn means that the stigma faced by gay fathers - and, by extensn, lbian mothers - should be ls than the past, ” said Brian Powell, a soclogy rearcher at Indiana Universy Bloomgton who wasn’t volved the study.

Rearchers ranked stat based on how many legal protectns they offered to gay parents that vered thgs like marriage, civil unns, domtic partnerships, adoptn, child ctody and anti-bullyg surprisgly, gay fathers were more likely to report stigma affectg their liv stat wh fewer legal protectns. Fai stat wh more legal protectns for gay parents were more likely to be formed by surrogacy, while men stat wh few legal protectns were more likely to bee fathers through heterosexual relatnships, the study fathers reported barriers to beg parents. About 41 percent had difficulti wh adoptn and one-third enuntered problems arrangg ctody of children born heterosexual study n’t prove whether parentg stat or sexual orientatn directly impacts discrimatn, and wasn’t natnally participants were whe, and ’s also possible that gay fathers om other racial or ethnic groups might report different experienc, Dr.

FATHER’S DAY FOR GAY BOYS

“In stat wh ls equal rights, gay men who wish to bee fathers may be ls likely to be able to bee a parent and those who do bee parents are more likely to experience stigma directed toward them. LUCIE - Comg out as gay is hard, but g out as gay to your Mormon dad is really Swk was preparg to go on his first missn trip wh the Church of J Christ of Latter-day Sats when he cid to reveal the news that he was gay to his dad, Vghn Swk. Published fal eded form as:PMCID: PMC4281508NIHMSID: NIHMS621480AbstractFew studi have examed the relatnship between young gay and bisexual men and their fathers.

GAY MEN AND THEIR MOTHERS: IS THERE A SPECIAL CLOSENS?

Usg a phenomenologil amework, this study vtigated the role of fathers young gay and bisexual men’s g out experience, focg on how fathers rpond to disclosure of same-sex attractn, how fathers’ rpons pared wh sons’ expectatns, and what sons perceived as havg fluenced their fathers’ rpons. Semi-stctured -pth terviews wh 30 gay and bisexual men ag 18–24 were nducted as part of a larger study; topics explored the terview clud experienc g out to fay and others. Keywords: sexual mory youth, masculy, parent, mental health, phenomenologyIntroductnGay and bisexual adolcents and emergg adults are at creased risk for psychologil distrs (e.

The creased risk of the negative out is not an herent part of beg gay or bisexual, but is rather the effect of societal opprsn the form of discrimatn, rejectn, harassment, and vlence that stems om homophobia and heterosexism (Harper & Schneir, 2003). Furthermore, rearchers have reported that gay and bisexual youth report higher levels of strs exposure and lower levels of social support (Doty, Willoughby, Ldahl & Malik, 2010; Johns, Zimmerman & Bermeister, 2013; McCallum, 2010; Needham & At, 2010). In their qualative quiry on sexual mory youth’s nceptualizatns of social support, Nmh, Burton, and Cosgrove (1999) unrsred the centraly of parental support the liv of gay and bisexual youth.

Hershberger and D’Augelli (1995), for example, observed that fay support buffered lbian, gay, and bisexual adolcents agast the harmful effects of peer victimizatn on mental health. Siarly, Bregman, Malik, Page, Makynen, and Ldahl (2012) reported that gay and bisexual youth who reported ls parental rejectn and more sexualy-specific social support om parents were more likely to hold an affirmed inty characterized by low ternalized homophobia and inty uncertaty, and mimal ncerns about beg accepted by others bee of their sexualy. Recently, D’Ami and Julien (2012) observed that greater current parental acceptance and lower current parental rejectn of sexual orientatn were associated wh gay and bisexual youth’s greater fort wh sexual orientatn, lower psychologil distrs, and lower suicidal iatns.