Can Someone Be Homosexual and Not Gay? | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• ‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY
• HOMOSEXUALY: THE UNTRI WHERE IS ILLEGAL TO BE GAY
• IS BEG GAY A S?
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• HOW ‘ETERNALS’ ESTABLISH THE MCU’S FIRST GAY SUPERHERO AND SAME-SEX COUPLE A MOVIE: ‘IT’S LIFE-SAVG’
• “I’M AN AMAZG COMIC WHO HAPPENS TO BE GAY”: MEET COMEDY’S NEW LGBTQ BREAKOUTS
• WHERE IS ILLEGAL TO BE GAY?
• AFTER YEARS OF PROGRS ON GAY RIGHTS, HOW DID THE US BEE SO ANTI-LGBTQ+?
• GAY WATER — CYNIL, PAT-BY-NUMBERS VIRTUE-SURFG START-UP? OR BEVERAGE INDTRY UNIRN WH GIFT OF GAY RIGHTS?

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

You so obvly nnot be gay, was her implitn, bee this is good was 2006, a full five years before Lady Gaga would set the Born This Way argument atop s unassailable cultural perch, but even then the popular unrstandg of orientatn was that was somethg you were born wh, somethg you uldn’t change. But what feels most accurate to say is that I’m gay – but I wasn’t born this people may fd their sir changg directn - and n't jt be explaed as experimentatn (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In 1977, jt over 10% of Amerins thought gayns was somethg you were born wh, acrdg to Gallup. Throughout the same perd, the number of Amerins who believe homosexualy is “due to someone’s upbrgg/environment” fell om jt unr 60% to ias reached cril mass pop culture, first wh Lady Gaga’s 2011 Born This Way and one year later wh Macklemore’s Same Love, the chos of which has a gay person sgg “I n’t change even if I tried, even if I wanted to.

”People who challenge the Born This Way narrative are often st as homophobic, and their thkg is nsired backwardAs Jane Ward not Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, what’s tertg about many of the claims is how transparent their speakers are wh their polil motivatns. In fact, the homophobic and non-homophobic rponnts he studied shared siar levels of belief a Born This Way Samantha Allen not at The Daily Beast, the growg public support for gays and lbians has grown out of proportn wh the rise the number of people who believe homosexualy is fixed at birth; would be unlikely that this small change opn uld expla the spike support for gay marriage, for stance.

“It don’t seem to matter as much whether or not people believe that gay people are born that way as do that they simply know someone who is currently gay, ” Allen spe of the studi, those who ph agast Born This Way narrativ have been heavily cricised by gay activists.

‘I AM GAY – BUT I WASN’T BORN THIS WAY’

Siarly, Ward has received her own hatemail for phg agast the lg LGB narrativ, wh some gays tellg her she’s “worse than Ann Coulter, ” the ntroversial US thor of books like If Democrats Had Any Bras, They’d Be Republins.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

The efforts are potentially harmful, acrdg to the APA, “bee they prent the view that the sexual orientatn of lbian, gay and bisexual youth is a mental illns of disorr, and they often ame the abily to change one’s sexual orientatn as a personal and moral failure. The APA, for example, while notg that most people experience ltle to no choice over their orientatns, says this of homosexualy’s origs:“Although much rearch has examed the possible geic, hormonal, velopmental, social and cultural fluenc on sexual orientatn, no fdgs have emerged that perm scientists to nclu that sexual orientatn is termed by any particular factor or factors. ”Siarly, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn wr a 2013 statement that while the of heterosexualy and homosexualy are currently unknown, they are likely “multifactorial cludg blogil and behavral roots which may vary between different dividuals and may even vary over time.

” Acrdg to LeVay’s rearch, a specific part of the bra, the third terstial nucls of the anterr hypothalam (INAH-3), is smaller homosexual men than is heterosexual as they might, scientists have stggled to inty any particular gen that nsistently predict the directns of our love and sire (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Read moreYou n spot the problem wh this study a e away: were the gay bras LeVay studied born that way, or did they bee that way? Bis the dividual criqu leveled agast each new study announcg some gay gene disvery, there are major methodologil cricisms to make about the entire enterprise general, as Grzanka pots out: “If we look at the raveno pursu, particularly among Amerin scientists, to fd a gay gene, what we see is that the ncln has already been arrived at.

” Our sir may exprs themselv many different ways that do not all nform to existg notns of ‘gay’, ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ is one of the bt takeaways of Ward’s Not Gay, a peratg analysis of sex between straight whe men. ”Gay or not, our sir are oriented and re-oriented throughout our liv (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)In fact, the straight-intified men Ward studied for her book sometim found themselv suatns that sparked the sire for homosexual sex: aterni, ployments, public rtrooms, etc.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

I’m claimg that at some pot durg llege, my sexual and romantic sir beme reoriented toward menThkg back to my llege romanc wh women and men, I n beg to unrstand how my own experienc might have helped me to ‘cultivate’ my sire for homosexualy. “Limg our unrstandg of any plex human experience is always gog to be worse than allowg to be plited, ” he gay rights activists pared sexualy to relign - a ccial part of our life that we should be ee to practise however we like (Cred: Ignac Lehamann)So what are we to do wh the Born This Way rhetoric? ”Acrdg to surveys, ls than half of Generatn Z intify as "100% heterosexual", suggtg more and more people have embraced their sexual fluidy (Cred: Ignac Lehmann)Perhaps is time to look to the begng of the gay rights movement.

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them. They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

A group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexuals get that tra om their oppose-sex parents: A lbian will almost always get the tra om her father, while a gay man will get the tra om his heredary lk of homosexualy has long been tablished, but scientists knew was not a strictly geic lk, bee there are many pairs of intil tws who have differg sexuali.

SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE FALLY UNLOCKED PUZZLE OF WHY PEOPLE ARE GAY

Scientists om the Natnal Instute for Mathematil and Blogil Synthis say homosexualy seems to have an epigeic, not a geic thought to have some sort of heredary lk, a group of scientists suggted Tuday that homosexualy is lked to epi-marks — extra layers of rmatn that ntrol how certa gen are exprsed. "There is pellg evince that epi-marks ntribute to both the siary and dissiary of fay members, and n therefore feasibly ntribute to the observed faial herance of homosexualy and s low nrdance between [intil] tws, " Rice and his team created a mathematil mol that explas why homosexualy is passed through epi-marks, not geics. But bee the epi-marks provi an evolutnary advantage for the parents of homosexuals: They protect fathers of homosexuals om unrexposure to ttosterone and mothers of homosexuals om overexposure to ttosterone while they are gtatn.

"The epi-marks protect fathers and mothers om excs or unrexposure to ttosterone — when they rry over to oppose-sex offsprg, n e the masculizatn of femal or the femizatn of mal, " Rice says, which n lead to a child beg gay. Rice not that the markers are "highly variable" and that only strong epi-marks will rult a homosexual scientists have long spected some sort of geic lk, Rice says studi attemptg to expla why people are gay have been few and far between.

HOMOSEXUALY: THE UNTRI WHERE IS ILLEGAL TO BE GAY

" Homosexual behavr has been observed black swans, pengus, sheep, and other animals, he 's mol still needs to be tted on real-life parent-offsprg pairs, but he says this epigeic lk mak more sense than any other explanatn, and that his team has mapped out a way for other scientists to tt their work.

Image source, Getty ImagImage ptn, Kamala Harris has been a vol supporter of LGBTQ rightsUS Vice-Print Kamala Harris who is on a tour of three Ain untri - Ghana, Tanzania and Zambia - has drawn cricism over her support for LGBTQ Ghana, a speech llg for "all people be treated equally" she appeared to cricise a bill before the untry's parliament which crimalis advocy for gay rights and propos jail terms for those that intify as lbian, gay, bisexual, or untry's Speaker Alban Bagb later lled her remarks "unmocratic" and urged lawmakers not to be "timidated by any person" Tanzania, a former mister spoke agast US support for LGBTQ rights ahead of the vis and Zambia some opposn policians have threatened to hold is homosexualy still outlawed?

IS BEG GAY A S?

In the same month, the high urt Barbados stck out laws that crimalised gay July last year, the urts Antigua and Barbuda clared a law crimalisg same-sex acts between nsentg adults Febary 2021, Angola's Print Joao Louren signed to law a revised penal to allow same-sex relatnships and ban discrimatn on the basis of sexual 2020, Gabon reversed a law that had crimalised homosexualy and ma gay sex punishable wh six months prison and a large fe. Mozambique and the Seychell have also scrapped anti-homosexualy laws recent there are untri where existg laws outlawg homosexualy have been tightened, cludg Nigeria and 's parliament recently passed a law to crack down on homosexual activi, promptg wispread source, Getty ImagImage ptn, Campaign agast LGBTQ rights some Ain untri has tensified recent weeksAnd some untri, efforts to get the laws removed have May 2019, the high urt Kenya upheld laws crimalisg homosexual acts.

Although the origal Brish laws applied only to men, untri that crimalise homosexualy today also have penalti for women who have sex wh Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn (Ilga) monors the progrs of laws relatg to homosexualy around the says the ath penalty is the legally prcribed punishment for same-sex sexual acts Bnei, Iran, Mrania, Sdi Arabia, Yemen and some northern stat of five untri - Afghanistan, Pakistan, Qatar, Somalia, and the Uned Arab Emirat - there is no legal clary and the ath penalty uld be source, AFPImage ptn, An Indian gay rights activist protts agast a urt lg 2013 upholdg a law which crimalis gay repealed the ath penalty for nsensual same-sex sexual acts observers note that the risk of prosecutn some plac is mimal. Effectively, then, the mother's immune system would (sometim) treat certa male protes produced by the fet as a foreign pathogen and attempt to attack , rultg out that uld clu a homosexual orientatn, but also fetal loss if the reactn was strong enough (i.

The mothers were then classified further to one of five groups: those wh gay male only-children (n = 8), those wh gay male offsprg that had no olr brothers (n = 23), those wh gay male offsprg wh olr brothers (n = 23), those wh heterosexual male only-children (n = 11), and those wh heterosexual male offsprg wh siblgs (n = 61).

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

As birth weight tends to crease over succsive pregnanci, the parisons were limed to first live-born sons only (n = 63); this left 4 gay male only-children, 7 gay mal wh no olr brothers, 14 heterosexual mal wh gay younger brothers, 10 heterosexual male only-children, and 28 heterosexual mal wh siblgs. While 's important to not get rried away wh this fdg given the relatively small sample size (I wouldn't put too much stock an N of 8), there is some suggtive evince here worth pursug further that somethg is atypil fetal velopment the se of gay male offsprg.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

Skorska et al (2016) pos that this might have somethg to do wh some mothers showg a greater immune rponse agast male offsprg, rultg more fetal loss, the rult beg that such mothers are both ls likely to have any children at all and more likely to have gay male children particular. If mothers of gay men do not tend to have a greater rat of female-to-male offsprg, this would st some doubt on the explanatn (and, sce the only data I've heard reports that gay men tend to have more olr brothers, seems they would have noticed the sister pot by now if existed).

HOW ‘ETERNALS’ ESTABLISH THE MCU’S FIRST GAY SUPERHERO AND SAME-SEX COUPLE A MOVIE: ‘IT’S LIFE-SAVG’

On the other hand, if this is a more general immune reactn agast fetal bodi, regardls of their sex, we would not expect such a pattern ( might also predict that mothers takg immunosupprsants would be ls likely to have gay offsprg/misrry, but thgs are unlikely to be that simple owg to the fact that other effects would rult too). Between 2 and 11 percent of human adults report experiencg some homosexual feelgs, though the figure vari wily pendg on the survey.Homosexualy exists across cultur and even throughout the animal kgdom, as the thors of a mammoth new review paper on homosexualy wre.

“I’M AN AMAZG COMIC WHO HAPPENS TO BE GAY”: MEET COMEDY’S NEW LGBTQ BREAKOUTS

Part of the explanatn is geic, but bee most intil tws of gay people are straight, heredy don’t expla everythg.The “why” qutn is important bee “there is a strong rrelatn between beliefs about the origs of sexual orientatn and tolerance of non-heterosexualy,” acrdg to the report thors, who are om seven universi spanng the globe.

(When Atlantic ntributor Chandler Burr proposed his 1996 book, A Separate Creatn, that people are born gay, Southern Baptists lled to boytt Disney films and parks prott agast the publisher, Disney subsidiary Hypern.) It shouldn’t matter whether people “choose” to be gay, but polilly, do—at least for now.One of the most nsistent environmental explanatns for homosexualy is lled the “aternal birth orr effect.” Essentially, the more olr brothers a man has, the more likely he is to be gay.

WHERE IS ILLEGAL TO BE GAY?

(Meanwhile, other studi have found the relatnship to be weak or nonexistent.) As psychologist Rch Sav-Williams wr an acpanyg mentary, the oute for any given baby boy might pend on the timg of the immune rponse and the fet’s sceptibily to the antibodi.Average prevalence 2013 (Sav-Williams and Vrangalova)Acrdg to the report, Blanchard now plans to tt mothers of gay and straight men for the prence of the antibodi. But gaps will rema, such as why some firstborn sons are gay, why some intil tws of gay sons are straight, and why women are gay, to name jt a few.The review-paper thors do le out one explanatn for homosexualy, however: That tolerance for gay people enurag more people to bee gay.“Homosexual orientatn do not crease equency wh social tolerance, although s exprsn ( behavr and open intifitn) may do so,” they wre.That reasong—that a tolerant society somehow enurag homosexualy to flourish—has been ed to support anti-gay legislatn Uganda, Rsia, and elsewhere. Most people the LGBTQ+ muny know om experience that acceptg your sexualy will lead to your beg a happier, more open this gui, the term gay has been ed to clu all forms of non-heterosexual attractn, whether that be people who are lbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, or otherwise not straight.

The Amerin Medil Associatn is agast therapy that is “based on the assumptn that homosexualy is a mental disorr or that the person should change their ’s important to know that there is nothg wrong wh lovg people of the same genr as you.

” He’s talkg about a time before gay marriage beme the law of the land, before the electn of Donald Tmp generated a reactive new wave of LGBTQ awarens, before the ter nnected diverse groups of fans wh edians relevant to them, and before gay characters started grabbg lead rol stud rom-s. In five untri and parts of two others, homosexualy is still punishable wh the ath penalty, while a further 70 imprison cizens bee of their sexual where homosexualy is legal, many untri treat those same-sex relatnships differently, such as havg an unequal age of nsent or a ban on marriage.

AFTER YEARS OF PROGRS ON GAY RIGHTS, HOW DID THE US BEE SO ANTI-LGBTQ+?

A rash of laws ncerng the teachg of human sexualy school curricula, banng trans stunt athlet and strippg parents of the right to help their genr-variant children obta appropriate re have popped up numero red stat this same-sex marriage is now part of the fabric of Ameri, nservativ have chosen to explo Amerins’ unfaiary wh trans people and piggyback on parental anger over the perceived overreach of Covid-era school closur, nflatg wh an sid sense of “wokens”, the hop of fdg an electorally viable sluiceway for anti-LGBTQ+ most famo of the anti-LGBTQ+ laws is the piece of Florida legislatn banng stctn on sexual orientatn or genr inty schools between krgarten and third gra, the so-lled “don’t say gay” law. He was followed by Arizona’s ernor, Doug Ducey, who, after barrg mors om genr-affirmatn treatment, wouldn’t even state for the rerd that trans people were Florida lawmaker Michele Rayner-Goolsby, left, hugs her wife, Bian Goolsby, durg a march at cy hall St Petersburg agast the ‘don’t say gay’ bill.

Photograph: Bob Daemmrich/Zuma Wire/Rex/ShutterstockPolicians are supported the media by mentators like Tucker Carlson, who claimed “no one had heard of this trans thg four years ago”, or Charlie Kirk, channelg 1980s fears sayg “gays want to rpt your children” rejuvenated, the right wg is poised to make transphobia and homophobia rnerston of the midterms and 2024 electns, wh promis to liver “don’t say gay” legislatn stat cludg Michigan and New Perks, the print of the Fay Rearch Council, a nservative lobbyg group, veighed agast the ernors of Indiana and Utah for vetog legislatn banng trans women om participatg sports, llg the bills “timely, mastream protectns”.

GAY WATER — CYNIL, PAT-BY-NUMBERS VIRTUE-SURFG START-UP? OR BEVERAGE INDTRY UNIRN WH GIFT OF GAY RIGHTS?

The Republin US reprentative Marjorie Taylor Greene vowed to troduce a feral “don’t say gay” bill if Republins w the Hoe this November, only to one-up herself days later by tweetg that for people to be pro-trans is to be pro-pedophilia.

”The bs-iendly wg of the GOP that would quietly team up wh Democrats to scuttle rabidly homophobic bills is now outnumbered, and legislators a dozen or more stat that lean even farther to the right than DeSantis are takg, the Natnal Center for Lbian Rights legal director, believ Florida is the tt se for a renewed ph for an aggrsive, Christian-natnalist program.