Arguments Agast Gay Marriage - McSweeney’s Inter Tenncy

Contents:

• A SATIRE ON GAY RIGHTS
• GAY MARRIAGE SATIRE
• THE SOLUTN TO GAY MARRIAGE AND RIGHTS
• GAY MARRIAGE
• GAY MARRIAGE SATIRE
• ‘OUR SON’ REVIEW: A MOVG, TURBULENT GAY MARRIAGE STORY WH HEART AND HUMOR – TRIBE FTIVAL
• ARGUMENTS AGAST GAY MARRIAGE
• GAY MARRIAGE: PROS, CONS, AND WHERE BOTH PARTI STAND

A SATIRE ON GAY RIGHTS

Gay rights are a horrid issue that has been prsg throughout our society for que some time now. There are reports of different stat and stutns wantg to ban gay rights, which clu the adoptn of a child or children by a gay uple and gay marriage, almost on a daily basis.

There are nstantly stori of church’s banng different members bee of them turng out to be gay. I mean gay, rights?

GAY MARRIAGE SATIRE

Who their right mds would give gays actual human rights? It’s barbaric and of the biggt issu that we face right now are the gays wantg to get married.

Ever sce the biblil days, even the Lord ma very clear that he do not like homosexuals — provg this wh events such as Sodom and Gomorrah where an entire town of savage gays were stroyed.

THE SOLUTN TO GAY MARRIAGE AND RIGHTS

But, what about the “unalienable rights” that gays have as beg part of our untry that thriv and flourish off of pennce, eedom, and liberty? It’s “not fair” that only gays aren’t allowed to bee uned as one until ath do them part. Rather than jt makg illegal for those flamboyant pansi to get married, let ban marriage across all Homo sapiens!

GAY MARRIAGE

Even heterosexuals are Homo sapiens and any speci havg the prefix “homo-” is already jt crossg the le. For starters, banng marriage across the entire human would fally csh the hope and joy of those abomable, foul homosexuals.

This would also psychologilly strengthen children by allowg them to ga nfince by makg their own cisns, would lsen the high amount of emotnal and self-image issu today, and would let them learn by their own trials and errors, no matter how God-awful they might ’s go back to a simpler time where women were property and gays where sent to mental hospals to be cured; a time where blacks where slav and any woman adulterer was a wch and burned at the stake. It sums up so perfectly the reasons why the arguments agast gay marriage are so absurd.

This gay marriage thg is tearg my wife and me apart.

GAY MARRIAGE SATIRE

It wasn't that we were unsupportive of our gay iends, no.

Somethg uniquer and specialer than any of our homosexual acquatanc uld ever even hope for. Are some gay people ser about their mment to each other?

BUT - and here's my pot - they're gay. And that's not a knock on gay people.

‘OUR SON’ REVIEW: A MOVG, TURBULENT GAY MARRIAGE STORY WH HEART AND HUMOR – TRIBE FTIVAL

Ameri lov s gays. Look at the TV, wh all those funny gay people on "Will and Grace, " and "Queer as Folk, " and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

We'll basilly bee roommat who happen to wear matchg rgs, while meanwhile out our wdow we'll see gays and pengus feedg each other weddg ke willy-nilly on our very own street rner. Until we have the right to enter that sacred unn, vlate , ex , and enter aga wh somebody else, aga and aga, regardls of what crim we m, until we're too old and feeble to mouth the words, "I do, " - unls we have that right and gay people don't, then there is tly nothg sacred the Uned Stat of Ameri. I am of urse referrg to the gay muny.

ARGUMENTS AGAST GAY MARRIAGE

Recently the ntroversy of gay marriage has sparked the natn. Gay marriage should not exist, fact, gay people general should not exist.

GAY MARRIAGE: PROS, CONS, AND WHERE BOTH PARTI STAND

I feel like there is a simple solutn to fix this problem of the gay populace. The police should immediately pacate any and all gay dividuals. They need to be equipped wh high voltage stun guns and tasers that uld be re-brand as gay guns and gasers.

The high voltage weapons will be exclively ed on the gay populace for a smooth and easy pturg procs. They will pacate the subject whout g too much permanent physil, they will create low to no sualti, and if the voltage is high enough has potential to y the gay out of the subjects.

One recently proposed was electroshock therapy which would hopefully shock the gay out of the dividuals, but this method is the most unreasonable. The method suggts puttg the subject a life threateng suatn wh the tentn of srg the gay out of them.