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class="sub-right"><span class="sub-msage">It’s Boston lol news one ncise, fun and rmative email</span><span class="sub-succs dn">Thank you! You have been subscribed to WBUR Today.</span><span class="sub-error dn">We were unable to subscribe you to WBUR Today. You n try<!-- --> <a href="/newsletters">subscribg here</a> or try aga later.</span></div></div></div></div></hear><article class="article" data-rid="21035" data-rtype="story"><div id="gtm-visibily-50" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-75" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-100" class="gtm-pixel"></div><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp sectn--first sectn--learboard"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><hear class="article-sectn--tle article-sectn--island"><div class="article-actn"><h1 class="article-hdr">Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Alone</h1></div><div class="article-meta"><span class="article-meta-em--date"><span tle="Friday, January 2nd 2015, 9:07:41 am">January 02, 2015</span></span><ul class="article-meta-em--thorlist article-meta-group"><li class="article-meta-em article-meta-em--thor"><a class="article-meta-lk article-meta-em--thor" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">Jsi Alpert</a></li></ul><div class="article-share article-share-ins"><a href=" & target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg class="in in-facebook" viewBox="0 0 128 128" role="img" width="24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">facebook</tle><path display="le" d="M120.1,0H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8v112c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h60.4V78.2h-16V59.8h16V43.9 c0-14.6,8.9-24.3,26.4-24.3c7.7,0,13.1,0.9,13.1,0.9V37h-12c-5.3,0-8,3-8,8.2v14.5h18.7l-2.7,18.4h-16v49.7h32c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V8 C128.1,3.6,124.5,0,120.1,0z"></path></svg></a><a href="mailto:?body=Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Alone" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share by email"><svg class="in in-email" viewBox="0 0 128 128" width="20" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Email</tle><path display="le" d="M64.2,86.3l-64-48V104c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h112c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V38.4L64.2,86.3z M64.2,72l64-48 c0-4.4-3.6-8-8-8H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8L64.2,72z"></path></svg></a></div></div></hear><div class="article-sectns"><sectn class="article-sectn--ntent hang-punctuatn article-sectn--first article-sectn--centered"><p class=""><strong>By Jsi Alpert</strong></p><p class="">Marguerte Wilks was, as she lik to say, "born, bred, and buttered" Manhattan's Sugar Hill neigborhood, a northern sectn of Harlem.  Wilks remembers that she me out to her fay when she was krgarten: "My brother lled me an early bloomer."</p><p class="">Her fay didn't really know how to rpond to her homosexualy and so they jt "played by ear."  As she found support iendships throughout middle and high school, her relatnship wh fay terrated. Now, at age 66, Wilks has no ntact wh her fay.  "They thk somethg is wrong wh me," she sighs.</p><p class="">Recent analys suggt that there are at least 1.5 ln lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) Amerins over the age of 60.  The numbers are based on an timate om <a href=">UCLA's Williams Instute on Sexual Orientatn and the Law </a>which has lculated that approximately 3.8 percent of Amerins intify as LGBT.</p><p class="">LGBT elrs al wh signifint enomic and health dispari as pared wh heterosexual senrs. <a href=">Acrdg to a 2011 natnal health study </a> -thored by the Center for Amerin Progrs and Servic and Advocy for Gay, Lbian, Bisexual, and Transgenr Elrs (SAGE), more than half of LGBT rponnts have been told by a doctor that they have prsn; 39 percent have serly ntemplated suici; and 53 percent feel isolated om others. Social isolatn remas a major issue as LGBT senrs are 3-4 tim ls likely to have children, twice as likely to live alone, and twice as likely to be sgle.</p><p class=""><a href=">Acrdg to a 2010 MetLife Study </a> of Boomers om the MetLife Mature Market Instute, about 42% of the LGBT populatn intified their relatnship stat as sgle, far higher than the 27% of the general populatn. Like Marguerte Wilks, many LGBT senrs may also be tranged om their blogil fai.</p><p class="nt-medium">"This generatn me of age when homosexualy was nsired crimal, a form of mental illns, or a secury risk," says Brian De Vri, a profsor of gerontology at San Francis State Universy. "They don’t have the safety available to them that heterosexuals have."</p><p class=""><!--more--></p><p class="">A new program fund by the state of New York is lookg to fill some of those gaps.  SAGE and the Bronx-based Hebrew Home have e together to create SAGEDay, the first clive social adult day program for LGBT senrs the state.   "The needs are different and... we are able to produce programmg that builds a work of social support for participants given that many of them don’t have regivers and relatnships as relat to this age." says Doreen Bermuz, Program Manager for SAGEDay. "We are pneers of this re."</p><p class=""><strong>Out of the Closet and Right Back In</strong></p><p class="">Marguerte Wilks spent 20 years dog HIV unselg and referral at the Manhattan State Psychiatric Center.  "I had a long term partnership and was a productive member of society," she says.  But when she got sick, all of that changed.  In the days after the 9/11 attacks, Wilks worked wh the Manhattan Borough Print's staff to asss damag at Ground Zero.  "When [the asssments] first happened, we didn’t have any masks. We were there everyday." she says. Eight years later, she had an emergency aortic dissectn — somethg she believ was the rult of her work at Ground Zero. <strong>  </strong></p><p class="">Wh no partner, children, or fay to take re of her, Wilks was forced to move to a state-subsidized adult home. "I was very sick and this adult home they didn’t like gay folks and I uldn’t be who I was.  I had to go other plac to meet people who had the same thoughts as me.  I went om livg an pennt full life to beg back the closet."</p><p class="">Brian De Vri of San Francis State Universy says the stori are all too mon. In a 2014 study -thored by De Vri, <a href=">of 400 midlife and olr gay men and lbians surveyed</a><a href=">, </a>about one-third mataed some fear of openly disclosg their sexual orientatn. <a href=">A 2010 Williams Instute study reported that,</a> pared to LGBT persons unr the age of 30, those between the ag of 30 and 54 were at least 16 tim more likely to be ‘‘closeted’’ and those over the age of 55 are 83 tim more likely to be ‘‘closeted.’’</p><p class="nt-medium">"LGBT dividuals turned away om formal servic bee part, they were turned away" says De Vri.  This experience mak askg for help even more challengg as they age. Dpe some advanc and greater awarens of LGBT issu, De Vri, who is currently dog extensive rearch Palm Sprgs and San Francis, says his vtigatn fds that thgs aren't necsarily improvg across the board. "We hear particularly om olr transgenr people, horrible stori of how they’ve been treated by service provirs."</p><p class="">So how do you brg people back to the fold?</p><p class="nt-medium">"Outreach is a big part of this work," says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE. "We intify plac where we n e and talk to staff and are able to make nnectns to the agg work. We ve potential participants to a plimentary day jt for them to tt out." says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE.  But 's not whout s challeng.  Deborah Msa, Vice Print of Strategic Planng and Bs Development at the Hebrew Home adds that "this muny has been typilly is an isolatn we have to do ser work to munite that this is a safe space."</p><p class=""><strong>Sensivy Required</strong></p><p class="">Deborah Msa reports that the Hebrew Home's entire executive staff has been traed to be more sensive to the specific needs of LGBT elrly.  "We’re velopg a trag wh SAGE that will touch upon our le staff and is actually very prehensive and eye-openg. There was a lot of rmatn that I did not know even as someone who works wh the agg populatn...I had the notn not to ask qutns and now I realize people want to be able to self-intify and have their needs known."</p><p class="">De Vri mends SAGEDay but says there is more to nsir when LGBT senrs form part of a facily wh a heterosexual majory. "Here California and creasgly elsewhere around the untry, there is a mandate for provirs to have LGBT sensivy trag-- but that trag do not apply to other rints of the facili.  We have to remember that those dividuals [heterosexuals] me of age at the same time."</p><p class="">This history has given LGBT senrs gr, says De Vri.  <a href=">De Vri remembers a scene om Harvey Fierste's 1988 film "Torch Song Trilogy," </a> which the lead character Arnold (played by Fierste) has a fight wh his mother (played by Ann Bancroft) about her abily to accept his sexualy.  In a small apartment livg room, Arnold looks at his mother straight the eye. "I have tght myself to sew, ok, fix plumbg, build furnure... I n even pat myself on the back when so I don’t have to ask anyone for anythg. There’s nothg I need om anyone except for love and rpect…"  De Vri says this scene exemplifi a tra held by many LGBT senrs. "There is this crisis petence. By beg alone, the senrs have veloped strength and rilience and they're brgg that to their later years."</p><p class=""><strong>End of Life and AIDS</strong></p><p class="">This don't jt apply to gay people. De Vri says that more and more people are agg outsi of tradnal stctur, whout children and whout partners. "People are not gog to age the way their parents did — they are gog to expect different sorts of thgs" he says.</p><p class="">As a gay man, De Vri is particularly vted changg the way his muny approach end of life. "Heterosexuals tradnal fay settgs have others who will raise this issue whether they like or not," says De Vri.  "But here we are as gay men or lbians wh people we have chosen as our fay... so how n we troduce this discsn those settgs so we n be better prepared?"</p><p class="">To add more plexy, sometim that chosen fay may not be readily available.  "AIDS has bee salient once aga a way hasn't been for years," acrdg to De Vri.  "Especially when to olr gay n be re-trmatizg. Aga they are acutely aware of the people that they have that they would have otherwise lled for re."</p><p class="">SAGEDay is pafully aware of this realy and seeks to clu the nversatns their daily meetgs.  In addn to social activi, weekly yoga and tai chi, cultural programmg is a central part of the program.  "We create nnectns wh LGBT history," says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE. "We ask participants to reflect on their experience the past... orr to be able to acknowledge their place the muny."</p><p class="">SAGEDay, a Mediid-eligible program, has been fund for 18 months through a 1.1 ln dollar state grant.  The ia is to "tablish a social mol adult day re and provi trag and outreach to members of the managed long-term re muny," says Deborah Msa of the Hebrew Home. "It’s my hope that this type of sensivy trag is jt for now — and that we won't need this forever.”</p><p class=""><em><strong>Here & Now:</strong></em> <a href="/hereandnow/2015/01/02/lgbt-senr-hog">Ci Create Hog Specifilly for LGBT Senrs</a></p></sectn></div></article><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><div class="ntributor has-photo"><div class="ntributor-profile"><figure class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-photo"><a href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert"><picture><img src=" class="lazy rd-image" alt=""/></picture></a></figure><p class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-b"><a class="ntributor-name" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">Jsi Alpert</a> <span class="ntributor-tle">Managg Producer, Program Development</span><br/>Jsi Alpert is the managg producer for program velopment at WBUR. In this posn, she velops new podsts and programs while also lnchg and nurturg WBUR’s newt projects.</p><p class="ntributor-more"><a class="ntributor-lk ntributor-b-lk" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">More…</a></p></div></div></sectn><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><div></div><div class="global-d-ponents onmand--is-playg"><div class="global-player"><d preload="to"></d><div class="global-player-bar"><div class="global-player-bar-left"><button class="global-player-bar-ntrol"><i class="in-play in-play--global-player-bar in-play--psed"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></button><div class="global-player-label global-player-label--live"><div class="global-player-channel"><span>Listen Live</span></div><div class="global-player-tle"><a class="global-player-label-lk" href="/">Loadg...</a></div></div></div><div class="global-player-bar-right"><div class="global-player-x"><svg class="in in-close" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Close

gay men over sixty

When you’re a gay man, agg is plited.

Contents:

AT 60 YEARS OLD, I BEME VISIBLE. GETTG OLD AS A GAY MAN STKS.

John Casey and New York Tim lumnist Frank Bni have an timate nversatn about what agg means to gay men. * gay men over sixty *

At s base, the joltg fear now is the realizatn of how limed that future is beg and about the chang I'm visibly, attentively, and subnscly regnizg, and perhaps beg more sensive to them as a gay man. "50 is the new 40" -- that is still a popular mantra the gay muny that I always felt was more about nvcg onelf that 50 isn't so bad. Am I the only gay man who feels fear at 55?

GAY MEN AND AGG

* gay men over sixty *

He has been unguard about his openns as a gay lumnist, his stggl wh weight, and the recent loss of visn his right eye. "But I know where you're g om and what you're gettg at: The celebratn of youth and bety is tense among many gay men, makg emotnally and psychologilly difficult to age.

Is that some of might be too nsumed by the "youth and bety" syndrome Bni refers to for gay men? Part of the ia of lookg healthy and mcled stems our generatn om the early years of HIV, and wh gay men who rried the vis termed not to be perceived as sick.

HOW TO EMBRACE AGG AS A GAY MAN

Recent analys suggt that there are at least 1.5 ln lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) Amerins over the age of 60. How is the senr health re dtry preparg to support them? * gay men over sixty *

Why are we noticg this now more at 55, and why do make some of feel even more vulnerable beg gay?

"We grew up whout many public mols of mted gay upl agg happily and gracefully together: If they were out there, they were as often as not closeted, and they certaly weren't public life.

"Whether you're gay or straight, if you're sgle at 55, that do feel different om beg sgle at 45 or 35; you're likelier to ask yourself if you're ever gog to fd a sgle romantic partner to travel the distance wh? "Occupatnal HazardIn the past year, four of my ntemporari have been laid off, and ightened me -- two of them sgle and gay.

7 REASONS WHY MY BEG GAY AND OVER 50 IS TRAGIC, ACRDG TO EVERYONE ELSE

When so many gay men have spent their formative years the closet, ’s difficult to pe the feelg that you need to make up for lost time. * gay men over sixty *

More ncern shown for keepg ls expensive youth vers an agg old gay man -- that's how I felt. "Workplace ageism is workplace ageism: a very real thg and ighteng event, but somethg that affects people straight and gay.

It's not a sgularly gay phenomenon, " Bni said.

"What may be different for gay men above a certa age -- let's say 50, randomly -- is the bed effects of profsnal agg and romantic agg, by which I mean that I thk that we're more nsc of and hnted by lost youth and changed looks than straight men are, for many different reasons.

THE GAY MAN'S GUI TO DATG AFTER 50

7 Reasons Why My Beg Gay and Over 50 Is Tragic, Acrdg to Everyone Else * gay men over sixty *

Were iends, fay, and strangers lookg at me as an agg gay man?

SGLE SENR GAY MAN LOOKG FOR VATN I THE USA - LGBTQIA+ TRAVEL FOM

Whether you're sgle aga or you've been around the block, gay datg isn't easy. * gay men over sixty *

It's almost as if I'm tryg to act more "straight" so as not to be perceived as an aged gay.

Answer 1 of 60: Are there any anized vatns for six gle gay men over 60 the USA? * gay men over sixty *

I am fightg , though, wh a foced termatn to jt be myself, whether that's noticed as gay, straight, old, young, or different. "If you mean some new fear of beg gay bee of the state of the world or suggtg that as we age, we get more timid about beg out, I thk the trajectory this untry is still toward greater equaly for LGBTQ people, spe the actns of the print and his admistratn, " Bni said.

""Regardg the latter, no, I don't feel some new fear of beg openly or outwardly gay bee of my age, " he went on. I n't speak for other gay men our age, but I spect many, like me, rema que fortable our gay sks. "What sr me most at 55 has nothg to do wh beg gay.

SternAs a gay man who recently turned 60, I’m pretty sure my life is over.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY MEN OVER SIXTY

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class="sub-right"><span class="sub-msage">It’s Boston lol news one ncise, fun and rmative email</span><span class="sub-succs dn">Thank you! You have been subscribed to WBUR Today.</span><span class="sub-error dn">We were unable to subscribe you to WBUR Today. You n try<!-- --> <a href="/newsletters">subscribg here</a> or try aga later.</span></div></div></div></div></hear><article class="article" data-rid="21035" data-rtype="story"><div id="gtm-visibily-50" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-75" class="gtm-pixel"></div><div id="gtm-visibily-100" class="gtm-pixel"></div><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp sectn--first sectn--learboard"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><hear class="article-sectn--tle article-sectn--island"><div class="article-actn"><h1 class="article-hdr">Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Alone</h1></div><div class="article-meta"><span class="article-meta-em--date"><span tle="Friday, January 2nd 2015, 9:07:41 am">January 02, 2015</span></span><ul class="article-meta-em--thorlist article-meta-group"><li class="article-meta-em article-meta-em--thor"><a class="article-meta-lk article-meta-em--thor" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">Jsi Alpert</a></li></ul><div class="article-share article-share-ins"><a href=" & target="_blank" rel="noreferrer" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share on Facebook"><svg class="in in-facebook" viewBox="0 0 128 128" role="img" width="24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">facebook</tle><path display="le" d="M120.1,0H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8v112c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h60.4V78.2h-16V59.8h16V43.9 c0-14.6,8.9-24.3,26.4-24.3c7.7,0,13.1,0.9,13.1,0.9V37h-12c-5.3,0-8,3-8,8.2v14.5h18.7l-2.7,18.4h-16v49.7h32c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V8 C128.1,3.6,124.5,0,120.1,0z"></path></svg></a><a href="mailto:?body=Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Out, Proud And Old: LGBT Senrs More Likely To Age Alone" class="article-share-lk" tle="Share by email"><svg class="in in-email" viewBox="0 0 128 128" width="20" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Email</tle><path display="le" d="M64.2,86.3l-64-48V104c0,4.4,3.6,8,8,8h112c4.4,0,8-3.6,8-8V38.4L64.2,86.3z M64.2,72l64-48 c0-4.4-3.6-8-8-8H8.2c-4.4,0-8,3.6-8,8L64.2,72z"></path></svg></a></div></div></hear><div class="article-sectns"><sectn class="article-sectn--ntent hang-punctuatn article-sectn--first article-sectn--centered"><p class=""><strong>By Jsi Alpert</strong></p><p class="">Marguerte Wilks was, as she lik to say, "born, bred, and buttered" Manhattan's Sugar Hill neigborhood, a northern sectn of Harlem.  Wilks remembers that she me out to her fay when she was krgarten: "My brother lled me an early bloomer."</p><p class="">Her fay didn't really know how to rpond to her homosexualy and so they jt "played by ear."  As she found support iendships throughout middle and high school, her relatnship wh fay terrated. Now, at age 66, Wilks has no ntact wh her fay.  "They thk somethg is wrong wh me," she sighs.</p><p class="">Recent analys suggt that there are at least 1.5 ln lbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenr (LGBT) Amerins over the age of 60.  The numbers are based on an timate om <a href=">UCLA's Williams Instute on Sexual Orientatn and the Law </a>which has lculated that approximately 3.8 percent of Amerins intify as LGBT.</p><p class="">LGBT elrs al wh signifint enomic and health dispari as pared wh heterosexual senrs. <a href=">Acrdg to a 2011 natnal health study </a> -thored by the Center for Amerin Progrs and Servic and Advocy for Gay, Lbian, Bisexual, and Transgenr Elrs (SAGE), more than half of LGBT rponnts have been told by a doctor that they have prsn; 39 percent have serly ntemplated suici; and 53 percent feel isolated om others. Social isolatn remas a major issue as LGBT senrs are 3-4 tim ls likely to have children, twice as likely to live alone, and twice as likely to be sgle.</p><p class=""><a href=">Acrdg to a 2010 MetLife Study </a> of Boomers om the MetLife Mature Market Instute, about 42% of the LGBT populatn intified their relatnship stat as sgle, far higher than the 27% of the general populatn. Like Marguerte Wilks, many LGBT senrs may also be tranged om their blogil fai.</p><p class="nt-medium">"This generatn me of age when homosexualy was nsired crimal, a form of mental illns, or a secury risk," says Brian De Vri, a profsor of gerontology at San Francis State Universy. "They don’t have the safety available to them that heterosexuals have."</p><p class=""><!--more--></p><p class="">A new program fund by the state of New York is lookg to fill some of those gaps.  SAGE and the Bronx-based Hebrew Home have e together to create SAGEDay, the first clive social adult day program for LGBT senrs the state.   "The needs are different and... we are able to produce programmg that builds a work of social support for participants given that many of them don’t have regivers and relatnships as relat to this age." says Doreen Bermuz, Program Manager for SAGEDay. "We are pneers of this re."</p><p class=""><strong>Out of the Closet and Right Back In</strong></p><p class="">Marguerte Wilks spent 20 years dog HIV unselg and referral at the Manhattan State Psychiatric Center.  "I had a long term partnership and was a productive member of society," she says.  But when she got sick, all of that changed.  In the days after the 9/11 attacks, Wilks worked wh the Manhattan Borough Print's staff to asss damag at Ground Zero.  "When [the asssments] first happened, we didn’t have any masks. We were there everyday." she says. Eight years later, she had an emergency aortic dissectn — somethg she believ was the rult of her work at Ground Zero. <strong>  </strong></p><p class="">Wh no partner, children, or fay to take re of her, Wilks was forced to move to a state-subsidized adult home. "I was very sick and this adult home they didn’t like gay folks and I uldn’t be who I was.  I had to go other plac to meet people who had the same thoughts as me.  I went om livg an pennt full life to beg back the closet."</p><p class="">Brian De Vri of San Francis State Universy says the stori are all too mon. In a 2014 study -thored by De Vri, <a href=">of 400 midlife and olr gay men and lbians surveyed</a><a href=">, </a>about one-third mataed some fear of openly disclosg their sexual orientatn. <a href=">A 2010 Williams Instute study reported that,</a> pared to LGBT persons unr the age of 30, those between the ag of 30 and 54 were at least 16 tim more likely to be ‘‘closeted’’ and those over the age of 55 are 83 tim more likely to be ‘‘closeted.’’</p><p class="nt-medium">"LGBT dividuals turned away om formal servic bee part, they were turned away" says De Vri.  This experience mak askg for help even more challengg as they age. Dpe some advanc and greater awarens of LGBT issu, De Vri, who is currently dog extensive rearch Palm Sprgs and San Francis, says his vtigatn fds that thgs aren't necsarily improvg across the board. "We hear particularly om olr transgenr people, horrible stori of how they’ve been treated by service provirs."</p><p class="">So how do you brg people back to the fold?</p><p class="nt-medium">"Outreach is a big part of this work," says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE. "We intify plac where we n e and talk to staff and are able to make nnectns to the agg work. We ve potential participants to a plimentary day jt for them to tt out." says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE.  But 's not whout s challeng.  Deborah Msa, Vice Print of Strategic Planng and Bs Development at the Hebrew Home adds that "this muny has been typilly is an isolatn we have to do ser work to munite that this is a safe space."</p><p class=""><strong>Sensivy Required</strong></p><p class="">Deborah Msa reports that the Hebrew Home's entire executive staff has been traed to be more sensive to the specific needs of LGBT elrly.  "We’re velopg a trag wh SAGE that will touch upon our le staff and is actually very prehensive and eye-openg. There was a lot of rmatn that I did not know even as someone who works wh the agg populatn...I had the notn not to ask qutns and now I realize people want to be able to self-intify and have their needs known."</p><p class="">De Vri mends SAGEDay but says there is more to nsir when LGBT senrs form part of a facily wh a heterosexual majory. "Here California and creasgly elsewhere around the untry, there is a mandate for provirs to have LGBT sensivy trag-- but that trag do not apply to other rints of the facili.  We have to remember that those dividuals [heterosexuals] me of age at the same time."</p><p class="">This history has given LGBT senrs gr, says De Vri.  <a href=">De Vri remembers a scene om Harvey Fierste's 1988 film "Torch Song Trilogy," </a> which the lead character Arnold (played by Fierste) has a fight wh his mother (played by Ann Bancroft) about her abily to accept his sexualy.  In a small apartment livg room, Arnold looks at his mother straight the eye. "I have tght myself to sew, ok, fix plumbg, build furnure... I n even pat myself on the back when so I don’t have to ask anyone for anythg. There’s nothg I need om anyone except for love and rpect…"  De Vri says this scene exemplifi a tra held by many LGBT senrs. "There is this crisis petence. By beg alone, the senrs have veloped strength and rilience and they're brgg that to their later years."</p><p class=""><strong>End of Life and AIDS</strong></p><p class="">This don't jt apply to gay people. De Vri says that more and more people are agg outsi of tradnal stctur, whout children and whout partners. "People are not gog to age the way their parents did — they are gog to expect different sorts of thgs" he says.</p><p class="">As a gay man, De Vri is particularly vted changg the way his muny approach end of life. "Heterosexuals tradnal fay settgs have others who will raise this issue whether they like or not," says De Vri.  "But here we are as gay men or lbians wh people we have chosen as our fay... so how n we troduce this discsn those settgs so we n be better prepared?"</p><p class="">To add more plexy, sometim that chosen fay may not be readily available.  "AIDS has bee salient once aga a way hasn't been for years," acrdg to De Vri.  "Especially when to olr gay n be re-trmatizg. Aga they are acutely aware of the people that they have that they would have otherwise lled for re."</p><p class="">SAGEDay is pafully aware of this realy and seeks to clu the nversatns their daily meetgs.  In addn to social activi, weekly yoga and tai chi, cultural programmg is a central part of the program.  "We create nnectns wh LGBT history," says Doreen Bermuz of SAGE. "We ask participants to reflect on their experience the past... orr to be able to acknowledge their place the muny."</p><p class="">SAGEDay, a Mediid-eligible program, has been fund for 18 months through a 1.1 ln dollar state grant.  The ia is to "tablish a social mol adult day re and provi trag and outreach to members of the managed long-term re muny," says Deborah Msa of the Hebrew Home. "It’s my hope that this type of sensivy trag is jt for now — and that we won't need this forever.”</p><p class=""><em><strong>Here & Now:</strong></em> <a href="/hereandnow/2015/01/02/lgbt-senr-hog">Ci Create Hog Specifilly for LGBT Senrs</a></p></sectn></div></article><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><div class="ntributor has-photo"><div class="ntributor-profile"><figure class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-photo"><a href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert"><picture><img src=" class="lazy rd-image" alt=""/></picture></a></figure><p class="ntributor-profile-em ntributor-b"><a class="ntributor-name" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">Jsi Alpert</a> <span class="ntributor-tle">Managg Producer, Program Development</span><br/>Jsi Alpert is the managg producer for program velopment at WBUR. In this posn, she velops new podsts and programs while also lnchg and nurturg WBUR’s newt projects.</p><p class="ntributor-more"><a class="ntributor-lk ntributor-b-lk" href="/si/staff/jsi-alpert">More…</a></p></div></div></sectn><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div style="width:300px;height:50px"></div></div></div></div></sectn><div></div><div class="global-d-ponents onmand--is-playg"><div class="global-player"><d preload="to"></d><div class="global-player-bar"><div class="global-player-bar-left"><button class="global-player-bar-ntrol"><i class="in-play in-play--global-player-bar in-play--psed"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></button><div class="global-player-label global-player-label--live"><div class="global-player-channel"><span>Listen Live</span></div><div class="global-player-tle"><a class="global-player-label-lk" href="/">Loadg...</a></div></div></div><div class="global-player-bar-right"><div class="global-player-x"><svg class="in in-close" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Close .

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