When Your Child Is Gay | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS YOUR CHILD GAY?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY
• WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY
• EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAG​DRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAG​SPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAG​TOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...
• PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE
• PARENTG A GAY CHILD
• WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?
• WHAT TO DO IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAYBY ANWH SAHOO APR 20, 2017SHARE I’VE WRTEN BEFORE ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IS FOR PARENTS TO REACT SENSIVELY WHEN KIDS E OUT. I WROTE OM THE ASSUMPTN THAT THE NEWS THE CHILD IS GAY WOULD E AS A SURPRISE, IF NOT A SHOCK, AS WAS FOR MY PARENTS. BUT SOME PARENTS MIGHT GUS A CHILD’S SEXUALY BEFORE THE CHILD KNOWS (OR IS FORTABLE EXPRSG) . WHAT DO YOU DO THEN?WELL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THG IS TO SHOW THAT YOUR LOVE AND UNRSTANDG IS UNNDNAL. BEYOND THAT, HERE ARE SOME TIPS.I THK MY CHILD IS GAY. WHAT DO I DO?FIRST, LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T DO.DON’T JUMP TO NCLNS IF YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY.WHILE I LARGELY DID F TO THE STEREOTYPIL RITURE OF A GAY MAN, NOT EVERY GAY PERSON DO. STEREOTYP AREN’T NECSARILY WRONG, BUT THEY ARE PLETE; THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF BEG. GAY MIGHT BE EFFEMATE, OR GAY ULD BE STRONG, DAC, POWERFUL AND BETIFUL – JT LIKE STRAIGHT ULD BE ANY OF THOSE THGS. DON’T LET THE MOST MON REPRENTATN OF HOMOSEXUALY – OR HETEROSEXUALY — MAKE YOU JUMP TO NCLNS ABOUT THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF YOUR CHILD. THERE ARE NO SYMPTOMS OF GAY THAT YOU N WATCH OUT FOR, BEE BEG GAY ISN’T A DISORR; KIDS WHO ARE GAY AND KIDS WHO ARE STRAIGHT E ALL SHAP, SIZ AND PERSONALI.DON’T SPECULATE ABOUT YOUR KID’S SEXUALY TO OTHERS. YOUR KID’S SEXUALY IS A SENSIVE TOPIC AND EXTREMELY PRIVATE FOR YOUR CHILD. EVEN IF HE (OR SHE) IS FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY, HE WOULDN’T NECSARILY WANT TO BE OUT TO YOUR IENDS AND NEIGHBOURS. GAY KIDS – AND KIDS PEOPLE THK ARE GAY, WHETHER THEY ARE OR NOT – FACE A LOT OF SENSIVE QUTNS AND MENTS, NOT TO MENTN BULLYG. THK: WOULD YOU LIKE PEOPLE WHISPERG ABOUT WHO YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ATTRACTED TO? LET KIDS CHOOSE WHOM THEY WISH TO E OUT TO.DON’T ASK.IT MIGHT SEEM LOGIL: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY IF YOU DON’T ASK? BUT THAT’S NOT A GOOD MOVE. FIRST, THERE ARE A LN WAYS TO GO ABOUT MORE TACTFULLY (SEE BELOW). AND SEND, YOUR CHILD MAY NOT KNOW OR BE FULLY FORTABLE THEIR SEXUALY – SO THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE AN ANSWER, BUT STILL FEEL PRSURE TO GIVE ONE.WHEN I REALIZED I MIGHT BE GAY, AT AGE 16, I’D OFTEN VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE HOMOSEXUALY MY NVERSATNS OR BSH UNR THE RPET. THAT’S BEE I WAS REPEATG THE ATTUS I HAD BEEN NURTURED . (THE TERM ‘HOMOSEXUALY’ NEVER EXISTED MY VOBULARY TILL I WAS 13!) MOST OF HAVE LIVED OUR LIV A HETERO-NORMATIVE SOCIETY, SO MIGHT TAKE TIME FOR GAY KIDS TO E TO TERMS WH HOMOSEXUALY.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE DO’S:DO GIVE YOUR CHILD REASON TO BELIEVE YOU’D ACCEPT THEM IF/WHEN THEY E OUT TO YOU. RATHER THAN ASK IF YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, OR WATCH FOR SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS GAY, WHAT YOU  N DO (AND WHAT MY PARENTS DID, UNKNOWGLY) IS MAKE YOUR KID BELIEVE THAT G OUT TO PARENTS WOULD BE OK.ONE WAY TO DO IS BY WATCHG GAY-IENDLY MEDIA, LIKE THE SATYAMEV JAYATE EPISO ABOUT SEXUALY, DURG OR AFTER WHICH YOU N MENTN HOW BRAVE YOU THK GAZAL WAS FOR G TO TERMS WH HER TRANS INTY AND HOW YOU APPRECIATE HER PARENTS’ EFFORTS TO STAND BY HER SI. SIARLY, YOU ULD WATCH FILMS LIKE SUMMER MY VES, PRAYERS FOR BOBBY, OR TOUCH OF PK WHICH ARE ABOUT CHILDREN G OUT TO PARENTS. (IF YOUR NEW TASTE FILM DON’T PROMPT YOUR CHILD TO NFI, DON’T EAK OUT; THE SUBTLE MSAGE OF ACCEPTANCE YOU’RE SENDG IS MORE IMPORTANT.)ANOTHER WAY TO DO THIS IS BY MDG WHAT YOU SAY. USE SENSIVE AND UP-TO-DATE TERMS WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. (IF YOU NEED HELP, CHECK OUT MY LGBTIQ DICTNARY FOR PARENTS!) AND YET ANOTHER WAY IS TO EXPOSE YOUR CHILD OM THE START TO SPIRG STORI OF LGBTIQ INS LIKE HARVEY MILK, FREDDIE MERCURY, AND ELLEN DEGENER.THIS WILL ALL GO A LONG WAY TO NVEYG TO YOUR CHILD THAT, IF THEY’RE NOT GAY, THERE’S STILL MUCH TO EMULATE THE ROLE MOLS; AND IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY, THEY N E OUT TO YOU “BEE ’S OKAY,” AS DEGENER PUT A 1997 TERVIEW WH OPRAH. (HER WHOLE TERVIEW IS WORTH A WATCH.)DO WATCH YOUR TONE OF VOICE. GAY OR STRAIGHT, TEENS PICK UP ON HOW YOU SAY SOMETHG, FAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU SAY. TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEXUALY – GAY OR STRAIGHT — LIKE YOU’RE DISCSG WHAT THEY’D WANT TO HAVE FOR DNER, WHOUT AN OUNCE OF JUDGMENT, RISN OR EVEN AWKWARDNS. IF YOUR KID SEEMS DISTERTED, DON’T FORCE , BUT LET THEM BRG UP IF AND WHEN THEY’RE FORTABLE.DO ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW IF MY CHILD IS GAY? A LOT OF PARENTS DON’T EXACTLY EXPECT THEIR KIDS TO BE GAY, SO ADAPTG PERSONAL EXPECTATNS AND DREAMS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT – BUT YOU DON’T NEED YOUR CHILD’S NFIRMATN TO DO . IF YOU WANT TO ASK SO YOU N REASSURE YOUR CHILD OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO DO (SEE ABOVE).IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY BEE YOU’RE WORRIED THEY’RE HAVG SEX, YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WH WHAT GENR TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT SAFE SEXUAL PRACTIC AND HIV PREVENTN. IT’LL BE AWKWARD, BUT ’S IMPORTANT, SO GET OVER .IF YOU WANT TO KNOW BEE YOU’RE STGGLG TO ACCEPT THE POSSIBILY THAT YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, NOW IS THE TIME TO NONT YOUR OWN PREJUDICE. IT MAY E AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I’VE HEARD MANY OF MY CLASSMAT SAY, “OH, I SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALY, BUT MY KID BETTER NOT BE GAY!” IT DON’T REALLY WORK THAT WAY; YOU EHER DO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY, OR YOU DON’T. USE THIS OPPORTUNY TO ACTUALLY LIVE UP TO HOW YOU’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOURSELF.AND NSIR THIS: YOUR CHILD MAY WELL BE STGGLG AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU. ASKG ABOUT THEIR SEXUALY BEFORE THEY’RE READY IS MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED, NOT ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED. THK OF A DIFFICULT MOMENT YOUR LIFE: DID YOU WELE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUTNS AT THAT TIME? DID YOU JT WANT TO FIGURE OUT YOURSELF AND MOVE ON?FALLY, WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE 100% ACCEPTG, THE LAST TWO POTS ARE MOST IMPORTANT IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAY:DO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN A PERSON’S SEXUALY. LET YOUR CHILD’S SEXUALY BE JT ONE PART OF WHO HE OR SHE IS. DO YOUR CHILD SEE YOU ONLY AS SOMEONE WHO IS ATTRACTED TO THE OPPOSE SEX? PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY THEY SEE YOU AS A MOTHER OR FATHER, A SUCCSFUL PROFSNAL, A SUPPORTIVE IEND OR NEIGHBOUR, A GOOD CIZEN, BEE YOU ARE ALL THOSE THGS; GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOUR CHILD N BE ALL OF THOSE THGS AND MORE, TOO. DEFG KIDS BY WHOM THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO IS AS ARBRARY AND LIMG AS FG THEM BY THEIR SHOE SIZE. CELEBRATE ALL PARTS OF THEIR PERSONALY.DO TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU’VE ALWAYS TREATED THEM. YOUR CHILD DIDN’T JT TURN GAY OVERNIGHT. THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY. DEALG WH A GAY CHILD (OR ONE YOU THK MIGHT BE GAY) DON’T HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT OM ALG WH A STRAIGHT CHILD. WHY SHOULD YOUR SPECULATN – OR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, IF THEY’VE E OUT — CHANGE THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN YOU?SHARE TAGS LGBTQIA+ | PRETEENS | SEXUALY | TEENS WRTEN BY ANWH SAHOO ANWH SAHOO IS A VORAC WRER, OPTIMIST AND A LOVER OF OLD-SCHOOL INDIAN ART, MIC AND FASHN. WHILE HE’S A FIRM BELIEVER PRACTILY, A PART OF HIM LOV LIVG A WORLD OF POSSIBILI. HE BLOGS AT THE EFFEMARE, A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE HE GETS TO ILLTRATE THE UTOPIAN WORLD HE WANTS TO BE A PART OF. HE LOOKS AT LIFE AS A THRILLG MYSTERY NOVEL WRTEN BY GOD AND, SCE HIS NOVEL HAS ONLY STARTED, HE’D GO WH: ‘I AM STILL EVOLVG!’ SEE ALL ARTICL BY ANWHLATT SCIENCE ARTICL TIP TIP BARSA PAANI...WHY WE FD RAS ROMANTIC, ACRDG TO SCIENCE

IS YOUR CHILD GAY?

As I relayed When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know (Sterlg, 2016), I found out that my son was gay om a note wh our son's name entwed wh another boy's, surround by a heart.

Had I asked him if he were gay when he was 13, he probably would have fensively said "No! San Berland, the mother of a gay son who ach parents of LGBTQ kids, utn, "It's not a good ia to ask. Acrdg to my -thor, psychiatrist Jonathan Tobk, "Gay children feel credibly vulnerable when g out to their parents, and tak time to work up the urage to do this.

Mol acceptance by not g gay slurs and never tellg gay jok.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR KID IS GAY

Watch gay-themed shows together such as "The Fosters" and "Will and Grace. React kdly to gay people the news or on televisn. In a way, you have an advantage by not knowg; giv you more time to prepare for the day (if ever) when he do reveal he's gay.

Both lbians and gay men often have a history of cross-sex-typed behavrs: ltle boys beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg. Prehomosexual boys tend to be more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer.

WHEN YOUR CHILD IS GAY

Children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy.

The behavral patterns are feared, loathed and often spoken of directly as harbgers of adult homosexualy.

EARLY SIGNS TO TELL YOUR CHILD IS GAYTIMOFDIATHE DIFFICULT JOURNEYUNRSTANDG, ACKNOWLEDGG, AND SHARG ONE'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN WH THE WORLD, IS EASY FOR SOME, WHILE FOR OTHERS THE JOURNEY IS LONG AND DIFFICULT.GETTY-IMAGCOMG OUT ISN'T EASYGAY YOUTH OFTEN FACE THEIR SET OF CHALLENG AFTER G OUT ABOUT THEIR GENR PREFERENC.GETTY-IMAGTHE ROLE OF PARENTSAS PARENTS, ALL YOU N DO IS PROVI THEM WH LOVE AND SUPPORT. THIS N START OM AN EARLY AGE IF YOU N INTIFY THE SIGNS OF YOUR CHILD'S SEXUAL ORIENTATN.GETTY-IMAG​DRSG UPIT MAY SEEM STEREOTYPIL, BUT SOME REARCH SUGGTS THAT KIDS SHOW THEIR CLATN BY THE WAY THEY DRS UP. GETTY-IMAG​SPEECHAS PER A STUDY, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SPEECH OF KIDS WHO ARE CLED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX. THE CHANGE THE TONE N EASILY BE TECTED EVEN WHEN THEY ARE FIVE YEARS OLD. GETTY-IMAG​TOYS PREFERENCEWHEN ROLE-PLAYG, IF A BOY OFTEN TAK THE FEME ROLE OR THE GIRL LIK TO PLAY ROUGH GAM, THEN YOU NEED TO PAY A LTLE ATTENTN. GETTY-IMAGYOU MAY ALSO LIKECOVID: WAYS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR KID'S IMM...

It is only relatively recently, however, that velopmental scientists have nducted ntrolled studi to intify the earlit and most reliable signs of adult homosexualy. In lookg refully at the childhoods of gay adults, rearchers are fdg an trigug set of behavral ditors that homosexuals seem to have mon. Curly enough, the age-old homophobic fears of many parents reflect some genue predictive currency.

PARENTS OF GAY CHILDREN AND THE ISSU THEY FACE

Zucker, both psychologists, published a semal paper on childhood markers of homosexualy 1995. So on the basis of some earlier, shakier rearch, along wh a good dose of mon sense, Bailey and Zucker hypothized that homosexuals would show an verted pattern of sex-typed childhood behavrs—ltle boys preferrg girls as playmat and beg fatuated wh their mother's makp k; ltle girls strangely enamored of field hockey or profsnal wrtlg—that sort of thg. Given that a small proportn of the populatn is homosexual, prospective studi require a large number of children.

Although only 12 percent of the women grew up to be genr dysphoric (the unfortable sense that your blogil sex do not match your genr), the odds of the women reportg a bisexual or homosexual orientatn were up to 23 tim higher than would occur a general sample of young women. Bailey and Zucker, who nducted a retrospective study which adults answered qutns about their past, revealed that 89 percent of randomly sampled gay men relled cross-sex-typed childhood behavrs exceedg the heterosexual median. The thors found that “those targets who, as adults, intified themselv as homosexual were judged to be genr nonnformg as children.

PARENTG A GAY CHILD

There is also evince of a “dosage effect”: the more genr-nonnformg characteristics there are childhood, the more likely is that a homosexual or bisexual orientatn will be prent adulthood. Not all ltle boys who like to wear drs grow up to be gay, nor do all ltle girls who spise drs bee lbians. I took to middle school wrtlg as a rather scrawny 80-pound eighth grar, and so dog, ironilly beme all too nsc of my homosexual orientatn.

Cross-cultural data show that prehomosexual boys are more attracted to solary sports such as swimmg, cyclg and tennis than they are to rougher ntact sports such as football and soccer; they are also ls likely to be childhood bulli.

Rearchers readily nce that there are que likely multiple—and no doubt extremely plited—velopmental rout to adult homosexualy. Bee the data often reveal very early emergg tras prehomosexuals, children who show pronounced sex-atypil behavrs may have more of a geic loadg to their homosexualy, whereas gay adults who were sex-typil as children might trace their homosexualy more directly to particular childhood experienc. Why do parents worry so much about whether their child may or may not be gay?

WHEN DO GAY KIDS START “ACTG GAY”?

All else beg equal, I spect we would be hard-prsed to fd parents who would actually prefer their offsprg to be homosexual.

Evolutnarily, parental homophobia is a no-braer: gay sons and lbian dghters are not likely to reproduce (unls they get creative). Lang, Elton John and Rachel Maddow's close relativ, but I n only image that the straight k are far better off terms of their own reproductive opportuni than they would be whout a homosexual danglg so magnificently on their fay tre. So cultivate your ltle prehomosexual's native talents, and your ultimate geic payoff uld, strangely enough, be even larger wh one very special gay child than would be if 10 medcre straight offsprg leaped om your los.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAYBY ANWH SAHOO APR 20, 2017SHARE I’VE WRTEN BEFORE ABOUT HOW IMPORTANT IS FOR PARENTS TO REACT SENSIVELY WHEN KIDS E OUT. I WROTE OM THE ASSUMPTN THAT THE NEWS THE CHILD IS GAY WOULD E AS A SURPRISE, IF NOT A SHOCK, AS WAS FOR MY PARENTS. BUT SOME PARENTS MIGHT GUS A CHILD’S SEXUALY BEFORE THE CHILD KNOWS (OR IS FORTABLE EXPRSG) . WHAT DO YOU DO THEN?WELL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THG IS TO SHOW THAT YOUR LOVE AND UNRSTANDG IS UNNDNAL. BEYOND THAT, HERE ARE SOME TIPS.I THK MY CHILD IS GAY. WHAT DO I DO?FIRST, LET’S TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T DO.DON’T JUMP TO NCLNS IF YOU THK YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY.WHILE I LARGELY DID F TO THE STEREOTYPIL RITURE OF A GAY MAN, NOT EVERY GAY PERSON DO. STEREOTYP AREN’T NECSARILY WRONG, BUT THEY ARE PLETE; THERE ARE MANY WAYS OF BEG. GAY MIGHT BE EFFEMATE, OR GAY ULD BE STRONG, DAC, POWERFUL AND BETIFUL – JT LIKE STRAIGHT ULD BE ANY OF THOSE THGS. DON’T LET THE MOST MON REPRENTATN OF HOMOSEXUALY – OR HETEROSEXUALY — MAKE YOU JUMP TO NCLNS ABOUT THE SEXUAL ORIENTATN OF YOUR CHILD. THERE ARE NO SYMPTOMS OF GAY THAT YOU N WATCH OUT FOR, BEE BEG GAY ISN’T A DISORR; KIDS WHO ARE GAY AND KIDS WHO ARE STRAIGHT E ALL SHAP, SIZ AND PERSONALI.DON’T SPECULATE ABOUT YOUR KID’S SEXUALY TO OTHERS. YOUR KID’S SEXUALY IS A SENSIVE TOPIC AND EXTREMELY PRIVATE FOR YOUR CHILD. EVEN IF HE (OR SHE) IS FORTABLE WH HIS SEXUALY, HE WOULDN’T NECSARILY WANT TO BE OUT TO YOUR IENDS AND NEIGHBOURS. GAY KIDS – AND KIDS PEOPLE THK ARE GAY, WHETHER THEY ARE OR NOT – FACE A LOT OF SENSIVE QUTNS AND MENTS, NOT TO MENTN BULLYG. THK: WOULD YOU LIKE PEOPLE WHISPERG ABOUT WHO YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE ATTRACTED TO? LET KIDS CHOOSE WHOM THEY WISH TO E OUT TO.DON’T ASK.IT MIGHT SEEM LOGIL: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY IF YOU DON’T ASK? BUT THAT’S NOT A GOOD MOVE. FIRST, THERE ARE A LN WAYS TO GO ABOUT MORE TACTFULLY (SEE BELOW). AND SEND, YOUR CHILD MAY NOT KNOW OR BE FULLY FORTABLE THEIR SEXUALY – SO THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE AN ANSWER, BUT STILL FEEL PRSURE TO GIVE ONE.WHEN I REALIZED I MIGHT BE GAY, AT AGE 16, I’D OFTEN VEHEMENTLY OPPOSE HOMOSEXUALY MY NVERSATNS OR BSH UNR THE RPET. THAT’S BEE I WAS REPEATG THE ATTUS I HAD BEEN NURTURED . (THE TERM ‘HOMOSEXUALY’ NEVER EXISTED MY VOBULARY TILL I WAS 13!) MOST OF HAVE LIVED OUR LIV A HETERO-NORMATIVE SOCIETY, SO MIGHT TAKE TIME FOR GAY KIDS TO E TO TERMS WH HOMOSEXUALY.WHICH BRGS ME TO THE DO’S:DO GIVE YOUR CHILD REASON TO BELIEVE YOU’D ACCEPT THEM IF/WHEN THEY E OUT TO YOU. RATHER THAN ASK IF YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, OR WATCH FOR SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS GAY, WHAT YOU  N DO (AND WHAT MY PARENTS DID, UNKNOWGLY) IS MAKE YOUR KID BELIEVE THAT G OUT TO PARENTS WOULD BE OK.ONE WAY TO DO IS BY WATCHG GAY-IENDLY MEDIA, LIKE THE SATYAMEV JAYATE EPISO ABOUT SEXUALY, DURG OR AFTER WHICH YOU N MENTN HOW BRAVE YOU THK GAZAL WAS FOR G TO TERMS WH HER TRANS INTY AND HOW YOU APPRECIATE HER PARENTS’ EFFORTS TO STAND BY HER SI. SIARLY, YOU ULD WATCH FILMS LIKE SUMMER MY VES, PRAYERS FOR BOBBY, OR TOUCH OF PK WHICH ARE ABOUT CHILDREN G OUT TO PARENTS. (IF YOUR NEW TASTE FILM DON’T PROMPT YOUR CHILD TO NFI, DON’T EAK OUT; THE SUBTLE MSAGE OF ACCEPTANCE YOU’RE SENDG IS MORE IMPORTANT.)ANOTHER WAY TO DO THIS IS BY MDG WHAT YOU SAY. USE SENSIVE AND UP-TO-DATE TERMS WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT HOMOSEXUALY. (IF YOU NEED HELP, CHECK OUT MY LGBTIQ DICTNARY FOR PARENTS!) AND YET ANOTHER WAY IS TO EXPOSE YOUR CHILD OM THE START TO SPIRG STORI OF LGBTIQ INS LIKE HARVEY MILK, FREDDIE MERCURY, AND ELLEN DEGENER.THIS WILL ALL GO A LONG WAY TO NVEYG TO YOUR CHILD THAT, IF THEY’RE NOT GAY, THERE’S STILL MUCH TO EMULATE THE ROLE MOLS; AND IF YOUR CHILD IS GAY, THEY N E OUT TO YOU “BEE ’S OKAY,” AS DEGENER PUT A 1997 TERVIEW WH OPRAH. (HER WHOLE TERVIEW IS WORTH A WATCH.)DO WATCH YOUR TONE OF VOICE. GAY OR STRAIGHT, TEENS PICK UP ON HOW YOU SAY SOMETHG, FAR MORE THAN WHAT YOU SAY. TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEXUALY – GAY OR STRAIGHT — LIKE YOU’RE DISCSG WHAT THEY’D WANT TO HAVE FOR DNER, WHOUT AN OUNCE OF JUDGMENT, RISN OR EVEN AWKWARDNS. IF YOUR KID SEEMS DISTERTED, DON’T FORCE , BUT LET THEM BRG UP IF AND WHEN THEY’RE FORTABLE.DO ASK YOURSELF: WHY DO I WANT TO KNOW IF MY CHILD IS GAY? A LOT OF PARENTS DON’T EXACTLY EXPECT THEIR KIDS TO BE GAY, SO ADAPTG PERSONAL EXPECTATNS AND DREAMS MIGHT BE DIFFICULT – BUT YOU DON’T NEED YOUR CHILD’S NFIRMATN TO DO . IF YOU WANT TO ASK SO YOU N REASSURE YOUR CHILD OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO DO (SEE ABOVE).IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHETHER YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY BEE YOU’RE WORRIED THEY’RE HAVG SEX, YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WH WHAT GENR TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT SAFE SEXUAL PRACTIC AND HIV PREVENTN. IT’LL BE AWKWARD, BUT ’S IMPORTANT, SO GET OVER .IF YOU WANT TO KNOW BEE YOU’RE STGGLG TO ACCEPT THE POSSIBILY THAT YOUR SON IS GAY OR DGHTER IS GAY, NOW IS THE TIME TO NONT YOUR OWN PREJUDICE. IT MAY E AS A SURPRISE TO YOU; I’VE HEARD MANY OF MY CLASSMAT SAY, “OH, I SUPPORT HOMOSEXUALY, BUT MY KID BETTER NOT BE GAY!” IT DON’T REALLY WORK THAT WAY; YOU EHER DO ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALY, OR YOU DON’T. USE THIS OPPORTUNY TO ACTUALLY LIVE UP TO HOW YOU’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF YOURSELF.AND NSIR THIS: YOUR CHILD MAY WELL BE STGGLG AS MUCH OR MORE THAN YOU. ASKG ABOUT THEIR SEXUALY BEFORE THEY’RE READY IS MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED, NOT ABOUT WHAT THEY NEED. THK OF A DIFFICULT MOMENT YOUR LIFE: DID YOU WELE OTHER PEOPLE’S QUTNS AT THAT TIME? DID YOU JT WANT TO FIGURE OUT YOURSELF AND MOVE ON?FALLY, WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE 100% ACCEPTG, THE LAST TWO POTS ARE MOST IMPORTANT IF YOU THK YOUR CHILD IS GAY:DO MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD KNOWS THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN A PERSON’S SEXUALY. LET YOUR CHILD’S SEXUALY BE JT ONE PART OF WHO HE OR SHE IS. DO YOUR CHILD SEE YOU ONLY AS SOMEONE WHO IS ATTRACTED TO THE OPPOSE SEX? PROBABLY NOT. PROBABLY THEY SEE YOU AS A MOTHER OR FATHER, A SUCCSFUL PROFSNAL, A SUPPORTIVE IEND OR NEIGHBOUR, A GOOD CIZEN, BEE YOU ARE ALL THOSE THGS; GAY OR STRAIGHT, YOUR CHILD N BE ALL OF THOSE THGS AND MORE, TOO. DEFG KIDS BY WHOM THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO IS AS ARBRARY AND LIMG AS FG THEM BY THEIR SHOE SIZE. CELEBRATE ALL PARTS OF THEIR PERSONALY.DO TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU’VE ALWAYS TREATED THEM. YOUR CHILD DIDN’T JT TURN GAY OVERNIGHT. THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY. DEALG WH A GAY CHILD (OR ONE YOU THK MIGHT BE GAY) DON’T HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT OM ALG WH A STRAIGHT CHILD. WHY SHOULD YOUR SPECULATN – OR YOUR KNOWLEDGE, IF THEY’VE E OUT — CHANGE THE RELATNSHIP BETWEEN YOU?SHARE TAGS LGBTQIA+ | PRETEENS | SEXUALY | TEENS WRTEN BY ANWH SAHOO ANWH SAHOO IS A VORAC WRER, OPTIMIST AND A LOVER OF OLD-SCHOOL INDIAN ART, MIC AND FASHN. WHILE HE’S A FIRM BELIEVER PRACTILY, A PART OF HIM LOV LIVG A WORLD OF POSSIBILI. HE BLOGS AT THE EFFEMARE, A PARALLEL UNIVERSE WHERE HE GETS TO ILLTRATE THE UTOPIAN WORLD HE WANTS TO BE A PART OF. HE LOOKS AT LIFE AS A THRILLG MYSTERY NOVEL WRTEN BY GOD AND, SCE HIS NOVEL HAS ONLY STARTED, HE’D GO WH: ‘I AM STILL EVOLVG!’ SEE ALL ARTICL BY ANWHLATT SCIENCE ARTICL TIP TIP BARSA PAANI...WHY WE FD RAS ROMANTIC, ACRDG TO SCIENCE

I n say as a once prehomosexual pipsqueak that some preparatn on the part of others would have ma easier on me, rather than nstantly fearg rejectn or worryg about some rels slipup leadg to my “exposure. And another thg: mt be pretty hard to look to your prehomosexual toddler's limpid ey, bsh away the okie cmbs om her cheek and toss her out on the streets for beg article was origally published wh the tle "Is Your Child Gay? Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why: The Science of Sexual Orientatn.

Acrdg to this ndown by (gay) psychologist Jse Berg, recent studi dite that "genr-variant behavr" (i. Girls who play wh tcks and boys who play wh dolls) is a good predictor of whether or not a child will turn out to be a practicg homosexual.