How to Fd Your Gay Bt Friend: 10 Steps (wh Pictur)

Contents:

• FRIENDSHIP TROUBLE: AN EXAMATN OF THE GAY BT FRIEND INTY AMERIN CONSUMER CULTURE
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• THE COWARD ACT OF BEG ASHAMED OF MY GAY BT FRIEND
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• 19 QUEER FRIENDSHIP BOOKS THAT GO BEYOND THE GAY BT FRIEND
• THE EVOLUTN OF THE “GAY BT FRIEND,” FROM HARMFUL TROPE TO TV GOLD
• HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

FRIENDSHIP TROUBLE: AN EXAMATN OF THE GAY BT FRIEND INTY AMERIN CONSUMER CULTURE

This study seeks to addrs this void by offerg an analysis of the gay bt iend through an examatn of the quali that nstute the gay bt iend inty as is prented Amerin nsumer culture.

The quali are ascertaed through an analysis of popular Amerin televisn shows and movi featurg gay bt iend characters—Will & Grace, Ugly Betty, Glee, Sex and the Cy, Burlque, The Devil Wears Prada, and Sex and the Cy 2. The tegori nstct the gay bt iend inty as one that is pletely modified and sentialized and that, although touted as an ditn of creasg acceptance of gay people, nstut ltle more than a new form of opprsn.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

Contemporary culture has bee saturated wh the gay bt iend; the July, 2010 issue of Teen Vogue pots out “the mt-have ems [for a fashnable teenage girl] clud a Proenza Schouler tie-dyed top, a shnken ary jack, neon bright chunky bracelets, and … a gay bt iend” (Talbot, 2010, page number). Ined, the gay bt iend n even be found on the shelv of booksellers natnwi Terrance Dean’s (2010) book, Straight om Your Gay Bt Friend: The Straight-Up Tth About Relatnships, Work, and Havg a Fabulo Life.

One potential effect of this inty is the perpetuatn of the opprsive cultural unrstandg of gay men as eful for style advice, terr sign, sassy ments, their abily to cut hair, and ltle else. In addn to ntributg to the margalizatn of gay men as a whole, this uld further margalize gay men who do not fill the role of the gay bt iend if the inty be signifintly more accepted than other gay inti. This should not e as a surprise, though, as gay culture has been heavily modified nsumer culture, the system where lkag between rourc, material and symbolic, and meangs, lived experience, and inty are created, mataed, and negotiated by markets (Arnould, 2010).

THE COWARD ACT OF BEG ASHAMED OF MY GAY BT FRIEND

This is exemplified Bravo’s h seri Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, which promot gayns as a mody that n improve one’s life and shows viewers where gayns n be bought (Kooijman, 2005). Addnally, the targetg of the gay muny by “ol hunters, ” agents who would document aspects of gay culture and pch the aspects to pani lookg to make their products and advertisg “oler” (Kle, 1999), illtrat the high mody value of gayns. Prev rearch has foced on heterosexual women who beiend gay men (Buckley, 2008; Maland, 1991; Moon, 1995; Thompson, 2004), the relatnships between gay bt iends and heterosexual women (Comer & Ldsey, 2007; Shepperd, Coyle, & Hegarty, 2010), and whether media reprentatns of gay men are posive or negative (Hart, 2004; Kooijman, 2005).

This study seeks to addrs this void by offerg an analysis of the gay bt iend through an examatn of the quali that nstute the gay bt iend inty as is nstcted Amerin nsumer culture. As his female iend’s sikick, the suatnal edy’s gay bt iend’s behavr elics lghter om the dience, obscurg the social stctur supportg homophobia by divertg the dience’s attentn om the stctur to his il behavr (Gray, Jon, & Thompson, 2009). Bee the gay bt iend character is not nfed to one genre, and gay bt iend characters om different genr share many attribut— is both possible and necsary for an analysis of the gay bt iend to clu characters om multiple genr.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

In addn to boastg high viewership, the televisn shows and movi span the time perd over which the gay bt iend rose to promence, which allows the vtigator to observe the chang the nstctn of the gay bt iend inty over time. ((Though there are certaly other televisn shows and movi ntag gay bt iend characters, the shows and movi feature their gay bt iend characters more promently than many other shows. Furthermore, there are other televisn shows and movi featurg gay characters that are not gay bt iend characters—characters whose iendships wh heterosexual women are not emphasized, e.

For example, Kurt Hummel, the gay bt iend character Glee, wears -season, signer clothg; has a large and lavishly rated bedroom; attends an expensive private school for part of season two; and driv an expensive r, a Lln Navigator, (Murphy, Falch, Brennan, & Stt, 2009) early the seri. The absence of an explic source of wealth, particularly texts ntag material that ntradicts the apparent affluence of the gay bt iend, offers sight to the importance of this qualy.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

Frequent dietg is associated wh high socenomic stat (Story, French, Rnick, & Blum, 1995), and health foods are typilly more expensive than their regular unterparts, so an obssn wh “healthy” eatg and health food signifi the gay bt iend character’s high socenomic stat. By featurg gay bt iend characters who share this batn of quali—affluent life styl, whens, an tert fashn, a slenr body, and a preoccupatn wh “healthy” eatg habs—the texts make high socenomic stat a major qualy of the gay bt iend character; thereby, nstctg the gay bt iend inty as one only available to dividuals wh high socenomic stat. The femizatn of the gay bt iend’s body tempers the masculy typilly associated wh male bodi and nstcts the gay bt iend inty as one whose body mt signify prcribed levels of masculy and femy.

By prentg the gay bt iend inty as one that is alienated om his fay, heterosexual men, and other gay men, the texts nstct the gay bt iend as pletely pennt on his female iends for pannship. Dpe the equaly their relatnships wh their female iends, the gay bt iend characters are very protective of the iendships, exhibg a gree of posssivens or terrorialy when they believe another gay man is encroachg on one of their iendships. For example, Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch are very good iends, and “All That Glters, ” Carrie begs a iendship wh another gay man, Oliver Spencer, who jt moved to Manhattan om Atralia (Bhnell, Star, Chupack, & McDougall, 2002).

Jack, for example, outs himself to a prison guard while visg Karen’s hband prison (Kohan, Mutchnick, Herschlag, & Burrows, 2001) and equently phras such as “homo don’t do that” (Kohan, Mutchnick, Greenste, & Burrows, 2001) and “let me get this gay” (Kohan, Mutchnick, Kightlger, & Burrows, 2002).

19 QUEER FRIENDSHIP BOOKS THAT GO BEYOND THE GAY BT FRIEND

By nstantly (re)assertg the gay bt iend character’s gayns, the texts ensure the character’s gayns remas the foreont of the dience’s md, which is particularly important bee the texts are nstctg an inty that appears to be pletely predited on gayns. Through their prentatn of the quali—the balance of masculy and femy, the sassy meanor, the nstant proclamatn of his gayns, and his transformative powers—the texts prcribe the appropriate behavrs for the gay bt iend inty.

By rtrictg the amount of masculy and femy the gay bt iend n monstrate, the texts circumscribe the gay bt iend’s actns, prohibg him om participatn activi wh particularly strong genr nnotatns. Given the sirabily of products imbued wh gayns and the modified nature of the gay bt iend, is not surprisg Teen Vogue named the gay bt iend as a “mt have em” July, 2010 (page number). Although this assumptn may fd support the more tradnal field of gay and lbian studi, queer studi rists the ia of sexual orientatn as a ponent of the sential self and highlights the socially nstcted nature of sexual inty.

By turng queer theory to praxis, televisn shows and movi wh gay bt iend characters uld prent their characters as multifaceted dividuals wh inti that are not pletely termed by their sexual orientatn.

THE EVOLUTN OF THE “GAY BT FRIEND,” FROM HARMFUL TROPE TO TV GOLD

While Cameron and Mchell, the show’s gay characters, do not exhib many quali of the gay bt iend (they are a mted relatnship, have gay male iends, and are not slenr), their lack of a signifint female iend preclus them om beg gay bt iend characters. Through his iendships created unr the guise of acceptance, the gay bt iend n add the ocsnal dash of fabulo to a heterosexual female’s otherwise hackneyed life, but he remas a send-class cizen prived of the power, privilege, and agency afford to his heterosexual iends. As long as women watchg the shows are lghg at the gay bt iend characters’ silly antics, they will fail to notice his disempowered subject posn and the social systems that keep him opprsed.

" If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet?

The Coward Act of Beg Ashamed of My Gay Bt FriendHow toxic masculy ed summer mp and my iendshipPhoto: martedoucet/Getty ImagWhen I was 10 years old, my parents cid they wanted the summer for themselv. Often an important first step troducg queer storyl to mastream dienc, the GBF trope had a tenncy to rerce stereotyp about gay men: that their only terts are makeovers, shoppg and drama, that their stggl and relatnships fa to the background unls they're supportg a straight person's story, and that they only exist to be wise oracl about love and LGBTQ+ reprentatn Hollywood improv both onscreen and behd the mera, movi and TV shows are gettg creasgly self-aware, creatg gay characters who provi the ic relief we love while tearg down outdated ias.

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

Perhaps the earlit example of the classic Gay Bt Friend character is 1984 movie The Woman Red, a Gene Wilr edy about a married man who be obssed wh a mol (Kelly LeBrock) after he se her skirt get blown up by a wd grate, Marilyn Monroe-style. Rickie Vasquez (Wilson Cz) of ABC's short-lived cult classic My So-Called Life (1994-1995) is one of the first exampl of a gay character a high school ensemble seri -- but what mak him pecially noteworthy is that he challenged the Gay Bt Friend trope before was even a trope.

Helen Hunt stars as Carol, a sgle mom and his love tert who "mak him want to be a better man, " while former Talk Soup host Greg Knear surprised dienc wh his imprsive actg chops as Simon, the gay neighbor who be iends wh the curmudgeonly Simon, an artist, is badly beaten up by a iend of one of his mols, his agent (Cuba Goodg Jr.

She enlists the help of her gay iend Gee (Rupert Everett), who drops everythg to fly to Chigo, pretends to be Jul' fiance to make Michael jealo, and trolls the hell out of her while dispensg nuggets of wisdom about her love is such a fantasy of a character that he may as well be a unirn, but Everett is jt so charmg about the whole thg. The flash-forward at the end, wh all the characters beg one big happy fay, was progrsive for s time; but the ia that a gay man uld be attracted to a woman if she plays her rds right is a b unfortable. But then Abbie meets a guy who wants to get married and move to New York, and the romantic edy spirals to a bizarre urtroom drama as they fight over ctody of their Ebert gave the movie one star and lled "a garage sale of gay issu, " bombed at the box office, and Everett later revealed that led to the llapse of his iendship wh Madonna.