'Did I ever really know him?': the women who married gay men | LGBTQ+ rights | The Guardian

Contents:

• SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON
• “HOW TO TELL IF A MAN IS GAY” — 5 WAYS (BACKED BY SCIENCE)
• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY
• IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN
• 'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

SIGNS OF A GAY HBAND BY DEBRA SUTTON

“The worst homophob are simply at war wh their own secret ternal nature. Internalized homophobia n be fed as the tenncy of some lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, and queer (LGBTQ) dividuals to regularly validate, margalize, and/or opprs their own or other LGBTQ members’ sexual orientatn, sexual inty, self-worth, dividual exprsns, and human rights.

Often, those wh gre of ternalized homophobia are nscly or unnscly socialized to believg that members of the LGBTQ muny are “abnormal”, “shameful”, “unsirable” and “unacceptable”, and should be regard wh disda (self-rejectn) and ntempt (self-loathg). It is important to emphasize that ternalized homophobia typilly occurs the ntext of a hetero-centric society that often stigmatiz, nigrat, and nmns LGBTQs.

“HOW TO TELL IF A MAN IS GAY” — 5 WAYS (BACKED BY SCIENCE)

It is also signifint to note that while some people wh ternalized homophobia are “out of the closet” and openly alg their own sexual orientatn/sexual inty issu, many others are still “ the closet” (to themselv and/or to others) and secretly stgglg. Many closet LGBTQ dividuals grew-up tradnal, nservative environments where “anti-gay bias” and “gay bashg” are the norm fay, social, tnal, relig, media, social media, and polil environments. It is a classic example of gaslightg, where a perpetrator ( this se a hetero-centric, homophobic society) nvc the victim that she/he/they are much ls important and worthy than who they tly are.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOUR SPOE COM OUT AS GAY

Internalized homophobia is a form of social and psychologil brawashg. What are some of the most mon signs of ternalized homophobia? While some LGBTQ dividuals may ocsnally dabble the followg behavrs, which might not be a ser issue, someone wh strong ternalized homophobia will routely engage one or more of the pathologi (dysfunctns) below, while remag largely unaware of (or unncerned wh) the tangible and psychologil damage done to onelf and others.

IS YOUR HBAND GAY? 6 SIGNS THAT COULD BE A CSE FOR CONCERN

Feelg ashamed or embarrassed when seeg LGBTQ dividuals “beg gay/bi/trans/queer” daily activi, social teractns, popular media, or social media. Refg to acknowledge homophobia exists or is a signifint issue LGBTQs’ liv. (Endg to sensize the effects of discrimatn notwhstandg, regular negative self-preciatn is still a reflectn of ternalized homophobia.

Judgg, beltlg, or makg-fun of other LGBTQ dividuals based on homophobic bias and negative stereotyp (gay bashg).

Defendg, jtifyg, and excg dividual acts of homophobia fay, iendships, school, at the workplace, or other social or stutnal scenars (learned helplsns). For tips on how to handle ternalized homophobia related strs, whether om onelf or om others, see referenc below.

'DID I EVER REALLY KNOW HIM?': THE WOMEN WHO MARRIED GAY MEN

An excerpt om the book Signs of a Gay Hband-Intfyg Closeted Gay Hband Behavrs. Forty Signs of a Gay Hband.