What About Ex-Ex-Gays? | Ask Dr. Brown

Contents:

• MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE
• CATEGORY:EX-GAYS
• EX-GAY
• EX-GAY
• WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?
• WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?
• EX-GAY MOVEMENT
• THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.
• EX-GAY MOVEMENT
• WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXPERIENCE GAY CONVERSN THERAPY
• MILO YIANNOPOULOS SAYS HE IS ‘EX-GAY,’ WANTS TO REHABILATE ‘NVERSN THERAPY’
• 8 PEOPLE ON SURVIVG GAY CONVERSN THERAPY

MY SO-CALLED EX-GAY LIFE

My mother might not have so easily found rmatn about ex-gay therapy had the Christian right not planted this stake the culture ad appeared 23 years after the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn (APA) classified homosexualy as a mental illns. Foc on the Fay lled s new ex-gay mistry Love Won Out and talked about healg and rg for ex-gay movement turned the rhetoric of gay rights agast self: Shouldn't ex-gays be able to pursue therapy and live the liv they want whout facg discrimatn?

Together wh the late Charl Soris, a psychiatrist who led the opposn to classifyg homosexualy as a mental illns, Nilosi formed NARTH 1992 as a "scientific anizatn that offers hope to those who stggle wh unwanted homosexualy.

Nilosi remas NARTH's most visible are no reliable statistics for how many patients have received ex-gay treatment or how many therapists practice , but the late 1990s and early 2000s, ex-gay therapy enjoyed a legimacy hadn't sce the APA removed homosexualy om s diagnostic manual. I read one of Nilosi's books, Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexualy, that he tri to posn himself as a supportive father figure, typifyg the sort of relatnship that he believ his patients never had wh their own father. What translated to the larger culture was: The father of the 1973 revolutn the classifitn and treatment of homosexualy, who uld not be seen as jt another biased ex-gay csar wh an agenda, had validated ex-gay therapy.

CATEGORY:EX-GAYS

Richard Cohen, the founr of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays)-tend as the ex-gay unterpart to PFLAG (Parents, Fai, and Friends of Lbians and Gays)-was expelled om the Amerin Counselg Associatn for ethics vlatns. Among them were Alan Downg, the lead therapist of JONAH (Jews Offerg New Alternativ to Homosexualy), who ma his patients strip and touch themselv ont of a mirror; NARTH member Christopher At, who was nvicted of "unlawfully, tentnally and knowgly [g] peratn of" a client; and Exod-affiliated Mike Jon, who asked a patient to take off his shirt and do ph-ups for movement also suffered several high-profile fectns. But the sprg of my sophomore year, the disparate parts of myself I had managed to hold together-the part of me that thought beg gay was wrong, the part that slept wh men anyway, the part of myself I let the world see, and the part that suffered silence-me undone.

EX-GAY

While took years of unselg to disabe myself of the ias I had learned while unrgog therapy wh Nilosi, was the first time I enuntered profsnals who were affirmg of my sexualy, and the first time I allowed myself to thk was all right to be gay. Jump to searchCategory:People self-intified as ex-gay Wikimedia tegoryUpload media WikipediaInstance ofWikimedia tegoryCategory ntashumanAuthory file Q8757230ReasonatorScholiaPetSnstatisticsWikiMapLotor toolKML fileSearch picted. The movement is primarily based the Uned Stat (though exists other untri such as Canada, Swen and the Uned Kgdom), and is largely led by evangelil and fundamentalist Christians (see also Homosexualy and Christiany).

EX-GAY

Although the scientific muny do not fully unrstand the of homosexualy, is generally believed that rults om a batn of geic and environmental factors and that one's sexual orientatn is probably set sometime early childhood or before.

Ex-gay groups generally believe that "same-sex attractns, " as they ll them, are ed om environmental factors only--fective relatnships wh one's father or male peers durg childhood or adolcence are most equently ced as s primary .

From the pot of view of ex-gay groups, a change the sexual behavr of an dividual om homosexualy to eher celibacy or heterosexualy is generally regard as "change, " irrpective of any actual change the unrlyg sexual orientatn.

WHAT ABOUT EX-EX-GAYS?

It ceased to exist that form 2001 when the group's founr, Jeremy Marks, wrote the journal Lbian and Gay Christians, "I have e to the ncln that we have been que wrong to dismiss all same sex love (other than platonic) as sful. Heterosexual), fifteen years experience has revealed that God's primary ncern is not to change the sexual orientatn of his gay and lbian discipl, but to help them fd wholens Christ - beg secure, assured of his love and acceptance, set apart to follow J fahfully and rponsible buildg relatnships wh one another.

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVISTS SO AAID OF “EX-GAYS”?

Even though most homosexuals live succsful, happy liv, some homosexual or bisexual people may seek to change their sexual orientatn through therapy, sometim prsured by the fluence of fay members or relig groups to try and do so.

Clil experience suggts that any person who seeks nversn therapy may be dog so bee of social bias that has rulted ternalized homophobia, and that gay men and lbians who have accepted their sexual orientatn posively are better adjted than those who have not done so.

The most important fact about "reparative therapy, " also sometim known as "nversn" therapy, is that is based on an unrstandg of homosexualy that has been rejected by all the major health and mental health profsns. The Amerin Amy of Pediatrics, the Amerin Counselg Associatn, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, the Amerin Psychologil Associatn, the Natnal Associatn of School Psychologists, and the Natnal Associatn of Social Workers, together reprentg more than 477, 000 health and mental health profsnals, have all taken the posn that homosexualy is not a mental disorr and th there is no need for a "cure.

EX-GAY MOVEMENT

Bee of several well-publicized failur and the polil nature of the subject, the ex-gay movement has been extensively ridiculed by gay rights activists, who charge that the supprsn of homosexualy only leads to appropriate outbursts thereof and ntribut to fear and sufferg. A recent survey by two gay psychologists, Michael Schroer and Ariel Shidlo (2002), of those who have unrgone var nversn therapi dit that while there are ed some who claim to have mataed a change behavur and a very small number who report a change orientatn, the are far fewer than ex-gay anisatns such as Exod and Narth regularly claim and are outnumbered by those left wh worsened problems of prsn, anxiety and alhol/dg addictn.

THE EX-GAY CHRISTIANY MOVEMENT IS MAKG A QUIET EBACK. THE EFFECTS ON LGBTQ YOUTH ULD BE VASTATG.

The discrepancy between the Exod/Narth timat of succs of nversn therapi and those of other bodi appears to be explaed by the fact that many former ex-gays report havg falsely reported succs to their therapists for a prolonged time. It is worth notg that 7 out of the 8 rponnts who reported a change sexual preferenc to Schroer and Shidlo were employed as unsellors by var Ex-gay groups (somethg which also appli to the more wily-publicised study by Spzer, which only foced on a group of succs picked by the ex-gay groups and had a more cursory terview technique based on telephone nversatn only). Dpe the opposn of most mental health profsnals and the very limed evince of any lastg impact on sexual preferenc or behavur, the var movements for "former homosexuals" have played an important role the polil bate recent years.

EX-GAY MOVEMENT

In part, this may reprent a tactil shift away om shock tactics (such as the mpaign the 1990s, based upon statistics about homosexualy which were soon discreded) towards cultivatg a more rg public face, while still opposg toleratn of homosexualy. Send, the term "ex-gay" has lots of different meangs (some lears like the term, while others don't), rangg om, "I ed to be volved same-sex relatnships, and I am no longer am, " to, "My romantic and sexual sir have changed om homosexual to heterosexual, " along wh everythg between. The bottom le is that homosexual practice, unr all circumstanc, is sful, and nothg n possibly change that fact, but is equally te that there is liberty and new life J, and those willg to take up the cross and follow Him will never need to look back.

If “ex-gays” exist, this means that people n change their sexual orientatn — and this means that the foundatn the homosexual rights movement, the ia that they are “born that way” and th nnot help themselv, go right out the wdow. Many ex-gays are aaid to e out of the closet bee of the harassment they will receive — their nam, phone numbers and personal rmatn posted on gay webs, attacked at ex-gay exhib booths, prs releas issued agast them, etc. ”3 This is an odd assertn, sce a tailed review of homosexual obuari showed several exampl of men who were happily married, who had children, and who nsired themselv “straight” sudnly abandong their fai and embracg the homosexual “liftyle.

But the “scientific” methods ed this study would make any legimate rearcher crge; the “study” managers did not terview a large group of “ex-gays;” they simply sought out people who claimed that they had been harmed (an tensive procs that took a full five years) and then nmned such therapy. Psychologists and unselors the jurisdictns are forbidn to unsel homosexuals their attempts to bee straight — even if they want this unselg — but are perfectly ee to tell a straight person all about the many alleged benefs of homosexualy.

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXPERIENCE GAY CONVERSN THERAPY

The ex-gay movement nsists of people and anizatns that enurage people to rea om enterg or pursug same-sex relatnships, to elimate homosexual sir, to velop heterosexual sir, or to enter to a heterosexual relatnship. The ex-gay movement reli on the volvement of dividuals who formerly intified as gay, lbian, or bisexual but no longer do; the dividuals may eher claim that they have elimated their attractn to the same sex altogether or simply that they absta om actg on such attractn. There have been var sndals related to this movement, cludg some self-claimed ex-gays[1] havg been found same-sex relatnships spe havg nied this, as well as ntroversi over gay mors beg forced to go to ex-gay mps agast their will, and overt admissns by anizatns related to the movement that nversn therapy do not work.

Prr to disbandg and renouncg the ia of a cure, [4] Exod Internatnal scribed change as, "attag abstence om homosexual behavrs, lseng of homosexual temptatns, strengtheng their sense of mascule or feme inty, rrectg distorted styl of relatg wh members of the same and oppose genr.

The Amerin Psychologil Associatn reported that some ex-gay groups may help unteract and buffer mory strs, margalizatn, and isolatn[9] ways siar to other support groups, such as offerg social support, fellowship, role mols, and new ways to view a problem through unique philosophi or iologi.

MILO YIANNOPOULOS SAYS HE IS ‘EX-GAY,’ WANTS TO REHABILATE ‘NVERSN THERAPY’

[10] Addnally, the same rearchers also found that people joed ex-gay groups due to: a lack of other sourc of social support; a sire for active pg, cludg both gnive and emotnal pg; and accs to methods of sexual orientatn inty exploratn and renstctn. [9][11][12][13] The same report found that some[12][13][14] have scribed the ex-gay groups as, "a refuge for those who were exclud both om nservative church and om their fai, bee of their same-sex sexual attractns, and om gay anizatns and social works, bee of their nservative relig beliefs. "[9] Acrdg to the APA report, "Ex-gay groups appear to relieve the distrs ed by nflicts between relig valu and sexual orientatn and help participants change their sexual orientatn inty, but not their sexual orientatn.

"[9] The APA go on to report that some[12] believed that by, "takg on 'ex-gay' cultural norms and language and fdg a muny that enabled and rerced their primary relig beliefs, valu, and ncerns", [9] they uld rolve inty nflicts by, "(a) adoptg a new disurse or worldview, (b) engagg a bgraphil renstctn, (c) embracg a new explanatory mol, and (d) formg strong terpersonal ti.

8 PEOPLE ON SURVIVG GAY CONVERSN THERAPY

"[9] Another one of their sourc[14] is summarized as havg observed that, "such groups built hope, revery, and relapse to an ex-gay inty, th expectg same-sex sexual behavrs and nceivg them as opportuni for repentance and fivens. Other ex-gay anizatns ter to a specific relig groups, such as Courage Internatnal for Catholics, North Star for the LDS Church, JONAH for Jews, Joel 2:25 Internatnal for Catholic and Prottant Christians and OneByOne for Prbyterians. Joseph Nilosi was an Amerin clil psychologist, founr and director of the Thomas Aquas Psychologil Clic Enco, California, and a founr and former print of the Natnal Associatn for Rearch and Therapy of Homosexualy (NARTH).

He wrote and produced the documentary I Do Exist about ex-gay people, [39] but subsequently me to "believe that tegoril change sexual attractns, pecially for men, is rare"[40] and repudiated some of the claims he ma the film.

In 2012, the Pan Amerin Health Organizatn (the North and South Amerin branch of the World Health Organizatn) released a statement utng agast servic that purport to "cure" people wh non-heterosexual sexual orientatns as they lack medil jtifitn and reprent a ser threat to the health and well-beg of affected people, and noted that the global scientific and profsnal nsens is that homosexualy is a normal and natural variatn of human sexualy and nnot be regard as a pathologil ndn.