Why Gay Bars are Val for LGBT Communi | KCRW

Contents:

• FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS
• A NVERSATN ON NSENT GAY BARS IS NEEDBARRY O'ROURKE·FOLLOW5 M READ·DEC 17, 2019--LISTENSHARETHE LAST THG I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN ME A GAY BAR WAS BEG GROPED BY A WOMAN.PHOTO BY JIROE ON UNSPLASHCONSENT EVERY WALK OF LIFE IS A NVERSATN THE WORLD SHOULD HAVE. AND FALLY, ARE HAVG. PUT DOWN TO THE #METOO MOVEMENT, ORRELATG TO MY OWN EXPERIENC, ’S A NVERSATN LONG OVERDUE THE LGBTQIA MUNY. BUT NOT STRICTLY BETWEEN SAME-SEX RELATNS OR PEOPLE WH THE MUNY SELFFOR ME, HOWEVER, THE MA CULPR IS HETEROSEXUAL PRIVILEGE.THE MAJORY OF ISSU I’VE HAD AROUND NSENT ARE TO DO WH STRAIGHT PEOPLE WHO CROSS NUMERO BOUNDARI WHAT THEY FEEL IS NOW THEIR PLAYGROUND.MAYBE ’S A SIGN OUR SOCIETY HAS BEE SO CLIVE, THAT THE LE BETWEEN WHAT ‘KD’ OF BAR OR CLUB YOU N GO TO IS NOW IRRELEVANT.OR PERHAPS ’S BEE OF THE METEORIC RISE OF RUPL’S DRAG RACE, WHICH HAS BROUGHT NEWFOUND CURSY TO DRAG QUEENS AND THE GAY WORLD.BUT I FEAR THERE IS NOW A PANMIC GAY SPAC OF ILL-GUID BEAHVUR OM PEOPLE OUTSI THE MUNY.‘IT’S ONLY A LGH, LOVE’WORDS I N’T REALLY SHAKE OFF THKG ABOUT. THE LAST THG I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN ME A GAY BAR WAS BEG GROPED BY A WOMAN.SHE REMD ME OF SHIRLEY OM EASTENRS — WHICH I MIGHT ADD IS NOT MEANT AS SULT, BUT WORE A SHORT, RAZOR SHARP BLON BOB AND HAD AN ICY STARE.HER BOYIEND WAS BEHD HER, WH THAT LOOK OF ‘WHAT ON EARTH ARE WE DOG HERE?’ A GAY BAR, THE CENTRE OF DUBL.I WAS WAG LE FOR THE UPSTAIRS BAR. THE CLUB WAS OVERFLOWG WH PEOPLE, SO NATURALLY THE BAR WAS BY.SHE EXPLAED WHO HE WAS, HE LGHED AND EYE-ROLLED, KNOWG ABSOLUTELY NOTHG SHE WAS SAYG. THE MIC WAS SO LOUD.‘WHAT BETTER PLACE FOR A DATE NIGHT THAN A GAY BAR?’ I JOKED.IN GAY BARS, YOU GET THIS KD OF PLEASANTRY A LOT. THE SORT OF SMALL TALK THAT, WH ENOUGH ALHOL, LEAV YOU THKG YOU’VE MA NEW BT IENDS WHO YOU’LL LIKELY NEVER SEE AGA.SHIRLEY EXPLAED HOW THEY WERE OUT FOR A LGH, AND TOOK TO THE GAY BAR AS THE NATURAL STATN. SHE KEPT ANSWERG QUTNS I HAD NO TERT ASKG AS WE WAED OUR TURN TO ORR DRKS.YOU TRY AND NOD AT THE RIGHT TIM WHEN SOMEONE’S HAVG A NVERSATN AT YOU, NOT WH YOU, HOPG TO NVEY TO HER YOU’RE ACTUALLY LISTENG WHEN ALL YOU’RE TRYG TO DO IS TCH THE BARMAN AND MOUTH THE WORDS ‘VODKA AND KE, PLEASE’.AND, THEN HER HAND ON MY CROTCH HAPPENED.NERVO LGHG IS A GAY’S BT FENSEPHOTO BY ALEXANR POPOV ON UNSPLASH“EH, EXCE ME THERE…” I SAY, PROSTRATG MY ARMS UP AND DOWN LIKE A BEACHED SEAL. I PUT ON THAT NERVO LGH, THKG TO MYSELF ‘WHAT THE EFF IS HAPPENG HERE?’THIS NERVO REACTN, WHICH I KNOW REALISE IS SO MON OUR MUNY — THIS FEIGNED NERVO GIGGLE, AN EVOLUTNARY SELF-FENSE MECHANISM.WHICH THE MAJORY OF PEOPLE FD CHARMG AND ENARG, BUT THIS SUATN ’S A PLEA, A D MSAGE OF ‘PLEASE JT LEAVE ME THE *** ALONE?’“AW LM DOWN. J, ’S ONLY A LGH, LOVE!” SHE WKS.SHE, FALLY REALISG MY DISFORT AS MY BODY NTORTED SHAP AWAY OM HER, AND MOV BACK TO HER BOYIEND.HE NODS HIS HEAD, UNAWARE OF ANYTHG OR EVERYTHG THAT’S GOG ON. I SKIP GETTG THE DRK, AND IMMEDIATELY GO TO THE SMOKG ROOM DOWNSTAIRS.HAVG NEVER SMOKED MY LIFE, SEEMED LIKE THE MOST LOGIL PLACE TO GO TO, BEE THAT NIGHT WAS A NIGHT OF FIRSTS WHICH MA NO SENSE AT ALL.I REGALE THE EVENTS TO WHOEVER WAS UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO BE THERE WHEN I GO OUTSI.YOU CHUCKLE ABOUT THE THGS, I GUS? I THK I CHUCKLED, AT LEAST. WHAT ELSE N YOU DO?SPENDG THE DAY GETTG READY TO GO OUT- YOU DO WANT TO GET NOTICED. AND PECIALLY A GAY CLUB, AND BEG AS SGLE AS I AM, YOU’RE AK TO ONE OF THOSE BIRDS OF PARADISE. FOR THE RIGHT PERSON, YOU N EXPLO LOUR, ENERGY AND CHAT.BUT FOR SOMEONE TO JT ASSUME THAT THIS BEAHVUR WAS, NOT ONLY ACCEPTABLE, BUT FUNNY?I REGURGATED THE EVENTS TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN. PEOPLE NGREGATED AROUND.“LAST WEEK AT A RUPL DRAG SHOW, TWO GIRLS ON A HEN PARTY KEPT SHOUTG FOR WOMEN TO STOP STARG AT THEM, ‘S THEY WEREN’T GAY” A GIRL ADDS, ROLLG HER EY.“SO WE F****G STARED THEM OUT OF ALL NIGHT, THE TOOLS.”“AH, THEY’RE ALWAYS AT ” A GUY THE SMOKG CIRCLE SIGHS, STAMPG OUT A BUTT, AND LIGHTG ANOTHER.“I DON’T MD THEM MUCH, EVERYONE’S WELE, SO LONG AS THEY DON’T E TO LGH AND POT. BE RPECTFUL AND ALL THAT JAZZ.”I QUIP AT HOW I KNOW NOW HOW WOMEN MT FEEL ON NIGHTS OUT. EVERYONE LOOKS AROUND AND SHGS.AND DAWNS ON ME THAT SADLY, MY EXPERIENCE WASN’T THAT UNIQUE OR SURPRISG THE SLIGHTT. IT’S A KD OF BEHAVR THAT THE MUNY ARE BEG ACCTOMED TO. IN THE VERY SPAC WE ONCE FELT WE ULD GET AWAY OM.WE GO BACK SI, AND LIKE THOSE IENDSHIPS YOU MAKE THE SMOKG ROOM OF A CLUB A CY, WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGA.“OI OI!”SADLY, I MEET HER AGA. DANCE FLOOR, A FEW HOURS LATER, SHE’S THERE AND HE’S NOT.WHAT HETEROSEXUAL UPLE DO THIS A GAY BAR AT THE WEEKEND SHOULD BE THE NEXT MAJOR VTIGATE PIECE FOR A BROADSHEET — BEE I SURE AS HELL DON’T ANY REASON THAT TAK THEM THERE. ESPECIALLY WHEN ONLY ONE CIS TO LEAVE THEN?I ROLLED MY EY AT HER, MOUTHED THE WORDS “OH NOT YOU AGA!” THAT PLAYFULLY MP WAY GAY MEN DO TO DISARM ANYONE OM ANNOYG ANY FURTHER.SHE TRI TO DANCE TO ME FOR A HUG, OR SOMETHG OF THAT NATURE, AND I BSH HER OFF. AND AGA, THAT SIGNATURE LE I N STILL HEAR MY HEAD OF, ‘’S ONLY A LGH, LOVE’ BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARS TO ANOTHER GAGGLE OF PEOPLE TO DANCE WH.IT UNNERVED ME, AND I LEAVE.A GENERATN PRIVED OF NSENT-TN
• ARTICL ON GAY BAR
• A YEAR GAY BARS
• COME JO THE PARTY! LSONS OM VISG EVERY GAY AND LBIAN BAR THE COUNTRY
• DGGGS, DEATHS AND ROBBERI PUT NEW YORK’S GAY COMMUNY ON EDGE
• FATAL STABBG OF GAY MAN AT GAS STATN BEG VTIGATED AS HATE CRIME
• WHY GAY BARS ARE VAL FOR LGBT COMMUNI
• GAY BAR

FOR THE LOVE OF GAY BARS

Surely if some passerby saw me even sually glance , they’d figure out I was gay.

The nroticism of beg closeted is like that strs of seeg a p while you’re stoned, but 24/7, and also, you like gay turns out that Gay Bar Smell (a ee logne ia one of the Queer Eye guys should sh on) was an spic troductn for me, and an inic one at that.

It’s even referred to the very first le of Gay Bar: Why We Went Out, the recently released book wrten by Jeremy Atherton L that aims to pture the trici, plitns, and fabulons of this culture.

A NVERSATN ON NSENT GAY BARS IS NEEDBARRY O'ROURKE·FOLLOW5 M READ·DEC 17, 2019--LISTENSHARETHE LAST THG I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN ME A GAY BAR WAS BEG GROPED BY A WOMAN.PHOTO BY JIROE ON UNSPLASHCONSENT EVERY WALK OF LIFE IS A NVERSATN THE WORLD SHOULD HAVE. AND FALLY, ARE HAVG. PUT DOWN TO THE #METOO MOVEMENT, ORRELATG TO MY OWN EXPERIENC, ’S A NVERSATN LONG OVERDUE THE LGBTQIA MUNY. BUT NOT STRICTLY BETWEEN SAME-SEX RELATNS OR PEOPLE WH THE MUNY SELFFOR ME, HOWEVER, THE MA CULPR IS HETEROSEXUAL PRIVILEGE.THE MAJORY OF ISSU I’VE HAD AROUND NSENT ARE TO DO WH STRAIGHT PEOPLE WHO CROSS NUMERO BOUNDARI WHAT THEY FEEL IS NOW THEIR PLAYGROUND.MAYBE ’S A SIGN OUR SOCIETY HAS BEE SO CLIVE, THAT THE LE BETWEEN WHAT ‘KD’ OF BAR OR CLUB YOU N GO TO IS NOW IRRELEVANT.OR PERHAPS ’S BEE OF THE METEORIC RISE OF RUPL’S DRAG RACE, WHICH HAS BROUGHT NEWFOUND CURSY TO DRAG QUEENS AND THE GAY WORLD.BUT I FEAR THERE IS NOW A PANMIC GAY SPAC OF ILL-GUID BEAHVUR OM PEOPLE OUTSI THE MUNY.‘IT’S ONLY A LGH, LOVE’WORDS I N’T REALLY SHAKE OFF THKG ABOUT. THE LAST THG I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN ME A GAY BAR WAS BEG GROPED BY A WOMAN.SHE REMD ME OF SHIRLEY OM EASTENRS — WHICH I MIGHT ADD IS NOT MEANT AS SULT, BUT WORE A SHORT, RAZOR SHARP BLON BOB AND HAD AN ICY STARE.HER BOYIEND WAS BEHD HER, WH THAT LOOK OF ‘WHAT ON EARTH ARE WE DOG HERE?’ A GAY BAR, THE CENTRE OF DUBL.I WAS WAG LE FOR THE UPSTAIRS BAR. THE CLUB WAS OVERFLOWG WH PEOPLE, SO NATURALLY THE BAR WAS BY.SHE EXPLAED WHO HE WAS, HE LGHED AND EYE-ROLLED, KNOWG ABSOLUTELY NOTHG SHE WAS SAYG. THE MIC WAS SO LOUD.‘WHAT BETTER PLACE FOR A DATE NIGHT THAN A GAY BAR?’ I JOKED.IN GAY BARS, YOU GET THIS KD OF PLEASANTRY A LOT. THE SORT OF SMALL TALK THAT, WH ENOUGH ALHOL, LEAV YOU THKG YOU’VE MA NEW BT IENDS WHO YOU’LL LIKELY NEVER SEE AGA.SHIRLEY EXPLAED HOW THEY WERE OUT FOR A LGH, AND TOOK TO THE GAY BAR AS THE NATURAL STATN. SHE KEPT ANSWERG QUTNS I HAD NO TERT ASKG AS WE WAED OUR TURN TO ORR DRKS.YOU TRY AND NOD AT THE RIGHT TIM WHEN SOMEONE’S HAVG A NVERSATN AT YOU, NOT WH YOU, HOPG TO NVEY TO HER YOU’RE ACTUALLY LISTENG WHEN ALL YOU’RE TRYG TO DO IS TCH THE BARMAN AND MOUTH THE WORDS ‘VODKA AND KE, PLEASE’.AND, THEN HER HAND ON MY CROTCH HAPPENED.NERVO LGHG IS A GAY’S BT FENSEPHOTO BY ALEXANR POPOV ON UNSPLASH“EH, EXCE ME THERE…” I SAY, PROSTRATG MY ARMS UP AND DOWN LIKE A BEACHED SEAL. I PUT ON THAT NERVO LGH, THKG TO MYSELF ‘WHAT THE EFF IS HAPPENG HERE?’THIS NERVO REACTN, WHICH I KNOW REALISE IS SO MON OUR MUNY — THIS FEIGNED NERVO GIGGLE, AN EVOLUTNARY SELF-FENSE MECHANISM.WHICH THE MAJORY OF PEOPLE FD CHARMG AND ENARG, BUT THIS SUATN ’S A PLEA, A D MSAGE OF ‘PLEASE JT LEAVE ME THE *** ALONE?’“AW LM DOWN. J, ’S ONLY A LGH, LOVE!” SHE WKS.SHE, FALLY REALISG MY DISFORT AS MY BODY NTORTED SHAP AWAY OM HER, AND MOV BACK TO HER BOYIEND.HE NODS HIS HEAD, UNAWARE OF ANYTHG OR EVERYTHG THAT’S GOG ON. I SKIP GETTG THE DRK, AND IMMEDIATELY GO TO THE SMOKG ROOM DOWNSTAIRS.HAVG NEVER SMOKED MY LIFE, SEEMED LIKE THE MOST LOGIL PLACE TO GO TO, BEE THAT NIGHT WAS A NIGHT OF FIRSTS WHICH MA NO SENSE AT ALL.I REGALE THE EVENTS TO WHOEVER WAS UNLUCKY ENOUGH TO BE THERE WHEN I GO OUTSI.YOU CHUCKLE ABOUT THE THGS, I GUS? I THK I CHUCKLED, AT LEAST. WHAT ELSE N YOU DO?SPENDG THE DAY GETTG READY TO GO OUT- YOU DO WANT TO GET NOTICED. AND PECIALLY A GAY CLUB, AND BEG AS SGLE AS I AM, YOU’RE AK TO ONE OF THOSE BIRDS OF PARADISE. FOR THE RIGHT PERSON, YOU N EXPLO LOUR, ENERGY AND CHAT.BUT FOR SOMEONE TO JT ASSUME THAT THIS BEAHVUR WAS, NOT ONLY ACCEPTABLE, BUT FUNNY?I REGURGATED THE EVENTS TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN. PEOPLE NGREGATED AROUND.“LAST WEEK AT A RUPL DRAG SHOW, TWO GIRLS ON A HEN PARTY KEPT SHOUTG FOR WOMEN TO STOP STARG AT THEM, ‘S THEY WEREN’T GAY” A GIRL ADDS, ROLLG HER EY.“SO WE F****G STARED THEM OUT OF ALL NIGHT, THE TOOLS.”“AH, THEY’RE ALWAYS AT ” A GUY THE SMOKG CIRCLE SIGHS, STAMPG OUT A BUTT, AND LIGHTG ANOTHER.“I DON’T MD THEM MUCH, EVERYONE’S WELE, SO LONG AS THEY DON’T E TO LGH AND POT. BE RPECTFUL AND ALL THAT JAZZ.”I QUIP AT HOW I KNOW NOW HOW WOMEN MT FEEL ON NIGHTS OUT. EVERYONE LOOKS AROUND AND SHGS.AND DAWNS ON ME THAT SADLY, MY EXPERIENCE WASN’T THAT UNIQUE OR SURPRISG THE SLIGHTT. IT’S A KD OF BEHAVR THAT THE MUNY ARE BEG ACCTOMED TO. IN THE VERY SPAC WE ONCE FELT WE ULD GET AWAY OM.WE GO BACK SI, AND LIKE THOSE IENDSHIPS YOU MAKE THE SMOKG ROOM OF A CLUB A CY, WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGA.“OI OI!”SADLY, I MEET HER AGA. DANCE FLOOR, A FEW HOURS LATER, SHE’S THERE AND HE’S NOT.WHAT HETEROSEXUAL UPLE DO THIS A GAY BAR AT THE WEEKEND SHOULD BE THE NEXT MAJOR VTIGATE PIECE FOR A BROADSHEET — BEE I SURE AS HELL DON’T ANY REASON THAT TAK THEM THERE. ESPECIALLY WHEN ONLY ONE CIS TO LEAVE THEN?I ROLLED MY EY AT HER, MOUTHED THE WORDS “OH NOT YOU AGA!” THAT PLAYFULLY MP WAY GAY MEN DO TO DISARM ANYONE OM ANNOYG ANY FURTHER.SHE TRI TO DANCE TO ME FOR A HUG, OR SOMETHG OF THAT NATURE, AND I BSH HER OFF. AND AGA, THAT SIGNATURE LE I N STILL HEAR MY HEAD OF, ‘’S ONLY A LGH, LOVE’ BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARS TO ANOTHER GAGGLE OF PEOPLE TO DANCE WH.IT UNNERVED ME, AND I LEAVE.A GENERATN PRIVED OF NSENT-TN

” Y, gay bars are more than whatever batn of sweaty armps and Calv Kle Eterny the nose picks up impli.

ARTICL ON GAY BAR

A safe space, a therapist’s office, a dance club, a live theater, a place to get super dnk (or pleasantly tipsy), a spot to fd a hookup, an tablishment to drown sorrows, and an oasis to pe realy are jt some of the ways to scribe what queer waterg hol mean to the gay mass. Though, that absolutely happens too; nothg pairs better wh the third sp of “I Wanna Dance Wh Somebody” than a plastic cup of seltzer that tast like bbg alhol and Bar: Why We Went OutGay Bar: Why We Went OutNow 11% Off“Some people treat them jt as a bar, but to so many others ’s a muny, ” Steven McEne says.

He’s the general manager of Metropolan, a gay bar loted Brooklyn, New York. Cooley, the owner of the popular Los Angel gay bar the Abbey, tells this story: “One time a kid was put on a plane by his parents at LAX, but stead he snuck off and took a b here, ” he rells. ” Simply put, Atherton L wr, “A gay bar, will be said, affords refuge.

” Before I realized the importance of havg a strong LGBTQ muny around me, gay bars were an omo mystery.

A YEAR GAY BARS

Much like genr reveal parti today, they seemed both obnox and dangero to a closeted me, ignorant of the mere ia of a gay muny. The first time I reluctantly stepped si a gay bar was at that effervcent spot around the rner om where I lived, bee a iend had ma his missn to brg me. This was a facet of my gay evolutn that I was only remd of after readg Gay Bar.

COME JO THE PARTY! LSONS OM VISG EVERY GAY AND LBIAN BAR THE COUNTRY

“You get a lot of first-time bar narrativ, pecially om olr gays, ” says Atherton L of the re of passage, as important as your first kiss, or the realizatn that “poppers” isn’t a nickname for buttered rn.

"Gay Bar: Why We Went Out mak the rear rell stori of their own a vir way, even if they never went to the kds of bars Atherton L wr about— London and San Francis.

DGGGS, DEATHS AND ROBBERI PUT NEW YORK’S GAY COMMUNY ON EDGE

In reactn, gay culture was shaved chts and signed to look wholome and healthy; strikg back at this fear of ntamatn.

” Esquire SelectStill, he knows that the plited history of gay bars, and the issu that still exist today, aren't so easy to grapple wh. ”It’s a sad irony that the release of Gay Bar me at a time when many gay bars were eher closed temporarily, danger of closg permanently—like one of New York’s only Black-owned gay bars, Alibi—or done for good, like the Chigo Boystown mastay Ltle Jim’s. “I miss seeg life three dimensns, ” says Atherton L of the void gay culture left by them.

’” Back at the Eagle, Danton uldn’t be more ready for the full return of gay bar culture. The last thg I thought would happen me a gay bar was beg groped by a by Jiroe on UnsplashConsent every walk of life is a nversatn the world should have. But not strictly between same-sex relatns or people wh the muny selfFor me, however, the ma culpr is heterosexual majory of issu I’ve had around nsent are to do wh straight people who cross numero boundari what they feel is now their ’s a sign our society has bee so clive, that the le between what ‘kd’ of bar or club you n go to is now perhaps ’s bee of the meteoric rise of RuPl’s Drag Race, which has brought newfound cursy to drag queens and the gay I fear there is now a panmic gay spac of ill-guid beahvur om people outsi the muny.

FATAL STABBG OF GAY MAN AT GAS STATN BEG VTIGATED AS HATE CRIME

The last thg I thought would happen me a gay bar was beg groped by a remd me of Shirley om Eastenrs — which I might add is not meant as sult, but wore a short, razor sharp blon bob and had an icy boyiend was behd her, wh that look of ‘What on Earth are we dog here? Shirley explaed how they were out for a lgh, and took to the gay bar as the natural statn.

WHY GAY BARS ARE VAL FOR LGBT COMMUNI

Nervo lghg is a gay’s bt fensePhoto by Alexanr Popov on Unsplash“Eh, exce me there…” I say, prostratg my arms up and down like a beached seal. And pecially a gay club, and beg as sgle as I am, you’re ak to one of those birds of paradise. “Last week at a RuPl drag show, two girls on a hen party kept shoutg for women to stop starg at them, ‘s they weren’t gay” a girl adds, rollg her ey.

Dance floor, a few hours later, she’s there and he’s heterosexual uple do this a gay bar at the weekend should be the next major vtigate piece for a broadsheet — bee I sure as hell don’t any reason that tak them there.

” that playfully mp way gay men do to disarm anyone om annoyg any tri to dance to me for a hug, or somethg of that nature, and I bsh her off. Especially now when the le between where a gay bar is or isn’t, and who now go , has is funny is how some people somehow missed the memo. The Abbey, one of Los Angel’ most famo gay bars, announc s temporary closure due to the ronavis panmic.

GAY BAR

But new rearch highlights the risks of heavy drkg on the gay scene. The first gay bar that I passed through this year was Dallas, Texas.

On my first eveng town, after pretendg to wre but mostly cryg over K-dramas, I head out to Oak Lawn, the cy’s gayborhood. The siwalks were dimly l, and I glid om light to light through the eply balmy eveng, and beyond the pat I found a panmic-era simulacm of a Texas gay bar’s ual weekday crowd: a few (whe) guys watchg sports on their phon, a (whe) man talkg to the bartenr, alongsi a handful of skny (whe) dus lookg to get laid.