Abstract The aim of this qualative study was to exame the lived experience of married Jewish relig men who are also gay. Twenty -pth terviews were nducted wh participants, livg Israel, who fed themselv as orthodox Jews and gay men married to women. Phenomenologil analysis revealed 3 key them: a sense of social obligatn to marry a woman; a lived realy characterized by spl and dualy; and a diverse experience that rang om feelgs of shame and guilt to a sense of acceptance and rencilement. The fdgs suggt that although some men stggle to manage a life wh a secret same-sex orientatn while experiencg tratn and distrs, other men fd much greater meang and signifince their sense of fay and muny belongg than a life lived acrdg to their sexual orientatn. The fdgs dite the great importance of relig affiliatn and beliefs shapg the liv of the men. Implitns for social and practil terventns are discsed, wh special reference to the g out procs and the ethil standpot of the therapist.
Contents:
- IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?
- WOMAN OUT AS GAY 6 YEARS TO MARRIAGE BUT STAYS WH HBAND: ‘HE’S MY SOULMATE’
- “MEN ARE FOR SEX AND WOMEN ARE FOR MARRIAGE”: ON THE DUALY THE LIV OF JEWISH RELIG GAY MEN MARRIED TO WOMEN
- ESTATE AGENT JAILED FOR VIC ATTACK ON TWO GAY MEN HOLDG HANDS
IS IT GAY HBAND? LBIAN WIFE? OR WHAT?
Follow a gay uple’s lead as to how to refer to one spoe. And when doubt, “partner” ually satisfi everyone. * gay men married women *
Boomg|Is It Gay Hband? 27, 2012Every other Tuday, Steven Petrow, the thor of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lbian Manners, ” (Workman, 2011), addrs qutns about gay and straight etiquette for a boomer-age dience.
" I am a straight man my 50s, and most same-sex upl of my age group e “partner” to refer to each other although younger gay male iends speak of their “hbands” wh lbian upl routely g “wife. Given today’s crazy-quilt mix of state marriage laws (ma even more so by the Electn Day victori for gay weddgs), ’s no wonr you are nfed about how to refer to our signifint others. The other day I heard about a recently married gay man who mentned his “hband” passg to a woman of a certa age (meang ours!
WOMAN OUT AS GAY 6 YEARS TO MARRIAGE BUT STAYS WH HBAND: ‘HE’S MY SOULMATE’
Rourc for stunts and psychologists to ga a better unrstandg of issu that may affect the straight spoe when a wife or hband out as lbian, gay, bisexual or transgenr. * gay men married women *
It’s tertg to me that you rrectly intify the generatnal difference among your gay, lbian and bisexual iends (two snaps for payg attentn! ) and I’ll bet you’re likely to rell when other terms were vogue — “longtime pann” was obuary for “gay” – and back the day the sexually suggtive “lover” was the mon moniker for many a practil level what I suggt dog is listeng to how a uple troduc or refers to each other. For stance, I recently overheard a gay iend a long-term relatnship refer to his better half as his “spoe” only to hear one of the straight folks ask him mut later what kd of work his “iend” did.
I’d love to see Endora st a spell on Congrs and get to overturn the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which prohibs Feral regnn of gay and lbian weddgs (and ni more than 1, 100 benefs like Social Secury for survivg spo or hospal visatn rights). If you need advice about gay/straight suatns or issu (geared to a boomer-aged dience), send them to Mr. “I thk I knew I was gay growg up, [but] here Ameri n be very nservative, ” Nilette told SWNS.
She add: “It wasn’t really a thg to be gay when I was growg up. Many lbian, gay, bisexual or transgenr people e out years after they have been married to an oppose-sex heterosexual wife or hband. For example, when a “closeted” gay or bisexual man has sex wh another man, he views that sex as reflectg his secret gay/bisexual inty.
“MEN ARE FOR SEX AND WOMEN ARE FOR MARRIAGE”: ON THE DUALY THE LIV OF JEWISH RELIG GAY MEN MARRIED TO WOMEN
How do the men view homosexualy and LGBTQ2+ rights? A mory of the men I terviewed were homophobic and held prejudice agast LGBTQ2+ people and this prejudice mak the thought of an LGBTQ2+ inty unappealg to them. Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love.
ESTATE AGENT JAILED FOR VIC ATTACK ON TWO GAY MEN HOLDG HANDS
There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.
Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife.
The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage".