The Washgton Post</tle><path d="M39.2 32v36.6c4.7-2.8 7-6.8 8.7-12.1l1.2.6c-1.1 13.2-10.3 26-24.3 26S0 72.6 0 55.8C0 43 7.7 35.1 18.7 28.2a16.11 16.11 0 00-4.4-.6c-7.2 0-11.4 4.9-11.4 9.9H1.5a14.77 14.77 0 01-.1-2.1c0-9.3 5.5-19.7 16.9-19.7 7.3 0 12.9 6.7 21.4 6.7 4.3 0 6.7-1.6 8.4-5.3h1.2c-.1 6.5-2 12.8-10.1 14.9zm-19-3.3C15.1 34 10.1 39.6 10.1 50.9c0 6.2 1.9 12.4 6.6 16.4l3.1-1.7V40.3L16.6 42l-1-1.6 15-8.4c-3.8-.8-6.9-2.3-10.4-3.3zm17.1 3.7a17 17 0 01-2.3.1 17.52 17.52 0 01-4-.4v29.5l-12.8 7a15.57 15.57 0 009.9 3 22.58 22.58 0 009.2-2zm44 9.2v34.3c0 9.6-8.51 16.11-18 18l-.6-1c4.7-2.3 7.8-6.41 7.8-11.41V45.7l-4.9-4.5-2.6 2.6v27.1l3 2.8v.4l-8.1 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.4l3.6-3.8V25.8l10.6-11.3.2.1v26.6l8.7-9.2 8.7 7.9 2.7-2.6 1.31 1.3zM97.91 62v4.5l9 7.1 7-7.3 1.3 1.3L101 82.8 88.21 72.6l-2.8 2.8-1.2-1.3 3.1-3.2V45.8l18.9-13.8 10.5 16.3zm.2-22.6l-.2.1v20.1l8.7-6.4zM180 82.71l-13.9-12-10.6 12-14.4-12.41V50.7h-2.8a3.89 3.89 0 00-4.1 3.5h-1a15.87 15.87 0 01-.5-3.8c0-2.6 1.1-9.4 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3.3-3.4V44.7l-3.6-3.3-2.7 2.6-1.3-1.3L322 32l7.6 6.9 2.7-2.8 1.4 1.4-3.4 3.4v28.6l4.2 3.9 3-3.1 1.3 1.4zm-2.9-51.61l-8.2-7.5 7.5-8 8.2 7.5zm46.1 51.61l-8.7-7.91V45.6l-4.7-4.4-3.4 3.5v26.1l3.1 2.9v.4l-8.2 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.3l3.6-3.8V44.9l-4.1-3.7-3 3-1.4-1.3L345.9 32l9.1 8.1v2l9.5-10.1 8.7 7.8 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4-3.5 3.5v28l3.9 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.2 1.3zm43-41V75.6c0 5.2 2.9 5 2.9 8.9 0 4.51-6.5 8.71-16.5 16.21-3.3-3.6-5.6-5.1-8.7-5.1a19.85 19.85 0 00-10.7 3.6l-1-.8 13.7-16.11-9-7.09-2.9 2.89-1.3-1.3 3.4-3.5V45.5l19-13.6 10.2 8 3-2.9 1.3 1.3zm-7.7 41.71c-2.5-1.61-3.1-3.31-3.1-7.61V74.3L387.9 93l.1.1c3.2-1.9 5.6-3.1 10.3-3.1 4 0 6.9 1.7 9.5 4 1.9-1.6 3.3-3.2 3.3-5.7 0-1.99-1.5-3.3-4-4.89zM404 45.3l-8.3-6.5-.2.2v30.7l5.9 4.6 2.6-3zm31.5 37.41l-8.8-6.91-2.7 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H420l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L436.4 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4zm43.71-40.11v27.7l-16.9 12.5L450 73.5l-2.8 2.8-1.3-1.3 3.2-3.3v-27L466.81 32l11.4 8.9 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4zm-10.8 3L460 39l-.09.1v29.8l8.5 6.4zm50.4 37l-8.7-7.9V45.5l-4.7-4.4-3.41 3.5v26.1l3.1 2.9v.4l-8.2 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.3l3.6-3.8V44.8l-4.1-3.7-3 3-1.4-1.3 10.2-10.9L502 40v2l9.5-10.1 8.7 7.8 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4-3.5 3.5v28l3.9 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.2 1.3zm61.39.11a12.91 12.91 0 00-6.3-4.61v20.81l-.2.1-5.5-5.1-11.6 10.7-.2-.1V77.6a18.83 18.83 0 00-10.2 6.61l-.8-.5c.7-7.71 4.5-13.41 11-15.61V48.6h-2.1a5.25 5.25 0 00-5.3 4.2h-1.2a12.28 12.28 0 01-.7-4.6c0-4.9 3.3-8.6 8.7-8.6h.6V28.8l-3.6-3.2-2.8 2.8-1.4-1.3 11.1-11.4 9.4 8.6v9.8L572 31V19.5h1.9V29l12.5-13.3L597.7 26v43.5zM572 32.9l-2.9 3v56.31l2.9 2.7zm13.1-2.3l-5.9-5.4-5.3 5.6v36.3c4.7.6 8.2 2.2 11.1 5.3l.1-.1zm48.7 12v27.7l-16.9 12.5-12.3-9.3-2.8 2.8-1.3-1.3 3.2-3.3v-27L621.4 32l11.4 8.9 2.9-2.9 1.3 1.4zm-10.8 3l-8.4-6.6-.1.1v29.8l8.5 6.4zm35.6 4.5h9.4v21.4l-15.9 11.21a11.52 11.52 0 00-8.8-4.11c-3 0-5.4 1.4-7.8 4l-1.4-.5 13.8-19.8h-8.5V43.7L656 32c2 1.6 3.6 2.6 6.2 2.6a11.38 11.38 0 007.11-2.2l1 .7zm-1.4 8.8h-4.7l-11.1 15.9.1.2a12.36 12.36 0 017.6-2.5 10.4 10.4 0 018 3.8l.1-.09zm6.41-19.6a9.78 9.78 0 01-6.91 2.3 8.92 8.92 0 01-6.3-2.9l-.2.1v14.6h3.8l9.7-14zm22.9 43.41l-8.8-6.91-2.71 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H671l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L687.41 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4z"></path></svg><span class="alic gray font-xxxxs font--body">Democracy Di Darkns</span></div></div><hear class="w-100" data-qa="ma-full"><div class="hi-for-prt"></div><div class="mt-lg"><div data-qa="kicker" class="wpds-c-eyomNc wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-jYXVnY-lor-black wpds-c-PJLV-mlvxn-size-lg"><a href=" class="PJLV PJLV-ieDwgbC-css">PostEverythg</a></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iklXUFA-css"><h1 class="PJLV PJLV-ikmtGxl-css overriStyl" data-ttid="headle" data-qa="headle" id="ma-ntent"><span data-qa="headle-text" class="PJLV">My own rape shows how much we get wrong about the attacks</span></h1></div><div class="flex prt-byle prt-mt-none"><div class="byle-wrapper flex-lumn flex"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ihSmMVC-css"><div class="PJLV PJLV-iPJLV-css mb-xxs overriStyl" style="gap:0.5rem" data-qa="thor-byle"><span class="wpds-c-PJLV"><div class="flex" data-qa="thor-byle"><div class="mr-sm flex lh-0"><div class="wpds-c-iTcer"><img src=" alt="" class="wpds-c-dgBqAZ"/></div></div><span class="left"><div class="flex"><div class="dib font-xxs" data-qa="name-wh-optnal-lk" data-cy="name-wh-optnal-lk"><span data-qa="attributn-text" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP">By <!-- --> </span><a data-qa="thor-name" href=" rel="thor" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP wpds-c-cNdzuP-ejzZdU-isLk-te">Richard Man</a></div></div></span></div></span></div></div><div data-ttid="timtamp" class="wpds-c-kgabfe wpds-c-kgabfe-ieEDlgV-css"><span data-ttid="display-date" class="wpds-c-iKQyrV">July 1, 2014 at 10:18 a.m. EDT</span></div></div></div></hear></div><article class="grid-article mb-xxl-ns" data-qa="ma"><div data-ttid="le-art" data-qa="le-art" class=""><figure class="overflow-hidn relative hi-for-prt center center mb-sm mb-md-ns ml-to-ns mr-to-ns grid-mobile-full-bleed"><div style="filter:blur(10px);transn:filter .1s;le-height:0" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="399"><img style="background-size:ver;max-width:1600px;background-image:url('data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns='http%3A//; xmlns%3Axlk='http%3A//; viewBox='0 0 1280 853'%3E%3Cfilter id='b' lor-terpolatn-filters='sRGB'%3E%3CfeGssianBlur stdDeviatn='.5'%3E%3C/feGssianBlur%3E%3CfeComponentTransfer%3E%3CfeFuncA type='discrete' tableValu='1 1'%3E%3C/feFuncA%3E%3C/feComponentTransfer%3E%3C/filter%3E%3Cimage filter='url(%23b)' x='0' y='0' height='100%25' width='100%25' xlk%3Ahref='data%3Aimage/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAkAAAAGCAIAAACepSOSAAAACXBIWXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAs0lEQVQI1wGoAFf/AImSoJSer5yjs52ktp2luJuluKOpuJefsoCNowB+kKaOm66grL+krsCnsMGrt8m1u8mzt8OVoLIAhJqzjZ2tnLLLnLHJp7fNmpyjqbPCqLrRjqO7AIeUn5ultaWtt56msaSnroZyY4mBgLq7wY6TmwCRfk2Pf1uzm2WulV+xmV6rmGyQfFm3nWSBcEIAfm46jX1FkH5Djn5AmodGo49MopBLlIRBfG8yj/dfjF5TUAAAAASUVORK5CYII='%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E')" alt="" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="399" srcSet=" 400w, 540w, 691w, 767w, 916w, 1200w" siz="(max-width: 440px) 440px,(max-width: 600px) 691px,(max-width: 768px) 691px,(m-width: 769px) and (max-width: 1023px) 960px,(m-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1299px) 530px,(m-width: 1300px) and (max-width: 1439px) 691px,(m-width: 1440px) 916px,440px" dg="async"/></div><figptn class="ml-gutter mr-gutter mr-to-ns ml-to-ns font--subhead font-xxxs mt-xs left gray-dark">Some people still see rape acrdg to the old cliche: vile men draggg nocent women to dark alleys and then btalizg them. (Arturo Latierro )</figptn></figure></div><div class="grid-body"><div class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-hSmMVC-isLuf2-false"><div class="wpds-c-jUMcim wpds-c-jUMcim-ibVGacg-css hi-for-prt mb-sm"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ieDMgMI-css flex ems-center" nfig="[object Object]" data-qa="article-actns"><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><div id="gift-share" data-ttid="gift-share" class="PJLV PJLV-ieGzigK-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-dTGBTO-placement-ActnBar foc-highlight"><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fBqPWp-idCxsxc-css " aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></button></div><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Share</span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="teaser-ntent grid-center"><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><em>[WARNING: This say scrib sexually explic suatns.]</em></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“I ma the for to celebrate,” he said, snterg out of the kchen wh two shot glass full of a red nctn.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="db dn-ns mr-neg-gutter ml-neg-gutter mb-md hi-for-prt" data-qa="subscribe-promo"><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div><a class="pt-sm pb-sm flex ems-center bold font-xxxs font-xxs-ns jtify-center" href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="lor:#166dfc;borr:none"><svg class="ntent-box" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns=" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>Wp</tle><path d="M11.055 8.728l-1.018-1.019-.782.782v6.292l1.782 1.564.018-.019v-7.6zm-4.11.236L5.674 7.71l-.836.855v6.237l1.545 1.327.564-.636V8.964zm2.656 9.074l-2.528-2.182-1.927 2.182-2.619-2.255v-3.564h-.509c-.454 0-.672.273-.745.636H1.09a2.89 2.89 0 0 1-.091-.69c0-.473.2-1.71 1.527-1.71V7.691c0-1.073-.709-1.127-.709-2.054 0-1.037.982-2 2.782-2.637l.164.145c-.6.291-1.09.655-1.09 1.437 0 1.2 1.163.89 1.163 2.782v.727l2.127-2.236 2.237 2.2 2.109-2.2 2.036 2v6.728l-3.745 3.455zm11.108-9.625l-1.073-.982-.964 1.018v6.6c.855.11 1.491.4 2.019.964l.018-.018V8.413zm-2.382.418l-.528.545v10.237l.528.492V8.83zm1.49 9.055c-.308-.382-.69-.709-1.145-.836v3.782l-.036.018-1-.927-2.11 1.945-.036-.018V16.96c-.636.145-1.327.545-1.854 1.2l-.146-.091c.127-1.4.818-2.436 2-2.837v-3.545h-.382c-.527 0-.89.363-.963.763h-.219c-.054-.145-.127-.381-.127-.836 0-.891.6-1.564 1.582-1.564h.11V8.085l-.655-.582-.51.51-.254-.237 2.018-2.073 1.71 1.564V9.05l.527-.564v-2.09h.345v1.727l2.273-2.419L23 7.576v7.91l-3.182 2.4z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg><span class="mr-xs ml-xs gray-darkt flex ems-center">Get the full experience.<span class="ml-xs subs-theme blue">Choose your plan</span></span><svg class="ntent-box" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" xmlns=" style="fill:#166dfc" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>ArrowRight</tle><path d="M7.664 1.25l6 6a1 1 0 010 1.414l-6 6L6.25 13.25 10.499 9H2V7h8.585L6.25 2.664 7.664 1.25z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></a><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Celebrate what?” I asked.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">He cked his head to one si. “You’re here!” he cheered. “You fally ma .”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I had been on a long, gelg b ri up om Washgton DC to his apartment New York. It was already 9:45 p.m on a Friday last summer. I felt sore and had jt taken a shower to rid the b experience om my sk. I lghed and, holdg the towel around my waist one hand and the shot glass the other, I looked at . “What’s ?”</p></div></div><div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“G!” I thought he said, more excedly than he should have. G mak me sick. “That’s not really my thg,” I said. Then he pouted, illy and even adorably: “But I ma jt for .”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">So I drank and was a b sharp but really lic, like tart watermelon. “You n hardly taste the g,” I said.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“What g?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“You said there was g.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">He lghed. “I said G.” He meant GHB, gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, monly known as the date-rape dg. Later me several more dgggs, as he held Gatora up to my limp lips wh who-knows-what mixed . I spent the weekend — about 60 hours — semi-nsc and didn’t leave his apartment until Monday morng. Sometim I thk I never left his apartment, that someone who merely looks and sounds like me walked out.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I had received anal sex twice my life before that night. By weekend’s end, was 17 tim, acrdg to my fog-of-war unt. Ey squeezed shut, the tally was the only thg I foced on at tim — like a tickg clock a solary nfement cell. Every addn to the tally meant I was one moment closer to the end. He moved out soon afterward, which helped erase the existence of that place for me.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I was raped. I had met him a few weeks earlier at a hoe party, and we had h off. He was handsome: 30, well-built, tall wh long black hair, a surfer’s lgh, and great taste “X-Men” (Gamb). He was not some lechero old man. He was not a sexually reprsed loser. There was nothg about him that was “rapey” (a word I tt). The sex self was — I n’t really say was “good,” bee that’s far too moral of a word and far more than he serv, but was highly skilled. He knew exactly what he was dog, exactly how to stimulate me. What he didn’t know was when to listen to me sayg “no,” when to stop, when to realize that my kickg and punchg and shovg and screamg and wrhg was not jt some sick roleplay while he blasted Lady Gaga’s “I Like It Rough.” He vered my sobbg mouth wh his hands. He hhed me and lled me “sexy,” as “You got this, sexy.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">When I wrote about <a href=">men who are raped by women</a>, for Details magaze 2004, ught the eye of Bill O’Reilly, who discsed on his show. “If you’re lucky enough as a guy to have some girl e on to you that manner,” he said, “but you don’t want to reciprote, you stand up and you leave, unls the woman is 240 pounds and tackl you. The man is tradnally stronger and better equipped to leave the room.” There is a great disbelief out there, spe the numbers — om the CDC! the NIH! the Jtice Department! — about how <a href=">1 33 men</a> have experienced “a pleted or attempted rape,” or <a href=">12.9 percent</a> have been sexually asslted. Mostly ’s by men they know. (I have a uple dozen mutual Facebook iends wh my assailant.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Some people still see rape acrdg to the old cliche: vile men draggg nocent women to dark alleys and then btalizg them. As we are fally learng, the realy is much more plited than the nventnal-wisdom rtoon. Sometim those women experience asm, which n be psychologilly vastatg. I was erect for much of my rape (at least the parts for which I was awake, but probably other parts, too); my assailant knew how to stimulate the physlogil rponse of an erectn — as opposed to the emotnal or psychologil rponse — even if I was cryg or actively tryg to thk about unsexy thgs. I wasn’t handcuffed or tied up, but was a versn of dissociated shock. The visible, immeasurable shackl of such a vlatn are immense.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">From the bed, I uld see the ont door, but was away and I thought, <em>No, I won’t be able to get to the door, unlock , open and pe before he beats the hell out of me</em>. And what was my optn, anyway? To n naked and groggy through his halls and down Nth Avenue? It’s amazg how much fear n make you want — really want — to appease a ptor.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div id="gift-share-le" data-ttid="gift-share-le" class="PJLV PJLV-ilotWTr-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-goNocI-placement-Inle foc-highlight"><div data-ttid="gift-share-terstial-trigger" class="wpds-c-kPqOkS wpds-c-kPqOkS-jtSXsT-hasSubsText-false"><span class="wpds-c-hBJqc"><span class="wpds-c-dzSncg">Share this article</span></span><span class="wpds-c-eCvK"><span class="wpds-c-enedHQ wpds-c-enedHQ-cCdK-isShown-false">Share</span><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fDHGth"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></span></div></button></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Rape may be as bad as murr, but, like murr, there are many kds of rape. War-crime rape, date rape, rape as a rual for pledgg a aterny, spoal rape, ct, rape wh known assailants, rape wh unknown assailants, police officers sodomizg a man wh a broomstick. Rape ntas multus. Any discsn of rape is gog to require as a culture to get much more imagative about . (Helpfully, the Jtice Department jt <a href=">expand s fn</a> to clu men.) Every time we discs rape as if ’s only men draggg women to alleys, we make the act of reportg all the more unfortable, burnsome and alienatg for women beg raped by their boyiends, or stunts beg raped by their teachers, or men beg raped by women, or men beg raped by men. It is an act of theft on top of an act of rape.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">* * *</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><strong>What’s shockg about this limed perspective is, sadly, how much opportuny there is to see the full spectm of rape our culture.</strong> Not only are dozens of lleg currently embroiled sex asslt vtigatns — cludg Jam Madison Universy, which jt punished three rapists wh <a href=">“expulsn after graduatn”</a> (or, as a iend noted, jt “graduatn”). There are the tw revulsns of <a href=">Dov Charney</a> and Terry Richardson. New York magaze put Richardson on s ver last month wh the qutn “<a href=">Is Terry Richardson an Artist or a Predator?</a>” as if a person nnot be both. There’s self-scribed “Ve star” Brtany Furlan on the red rpet for Soap Opera Network’s Daytime Emmys verage tellg a male actor “We’re gog to get you away om before we rape you.” It’s a world where Gee Will realistilly n fend <a href=">wrg</a> that sexual asslt survivors “make victimhood a veted stat that nfers privileg.” The Web se <a href="></a>, which tracks Republin blunrs on rape, is now s eighth edn.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">When male victims are discsed, ’s almost always about children — the Sandky stori and all their perverse variants. For adults, or out of prison, male-on-male rape is mostly thought of as an attack on a heterosexual victim, rape addg homophobic sult to jury. Yet rape is, ironilly, always on the tongu of men. “I’m gonna rape you Halo!” “This Monday morng is rapg me.” “Paper jam? Ugh, I wanna rape this prter.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The terrible thg about beg a gay man is that is pennt on exprsn. If you’re straight and have never had sex, you’re a virg. If you’re gay and have never had sex, you’re nfed. <em>How n you know you’re gay unls you’ve tried ?</em> In the wake of my nightmare — and all the subsequent nightmar and daymar that have e wh — I wanted nothg to do wh sex. But what is a gay man who don’t have sex? I wasn’t even sure what I beme.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div data-qa="article-image" class="hi-for-prt"><div style="m-height:358px"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">When I fally eed myself om that apartment — I flatter myself; the tth is, he was done wh me — I took the next tra out of town. I wanted to be as far away as I uld. From the lobby of Unn Statn D.C., I sobbed to my phone and told a iend what happened. He might have saved my life by urgg me to a b to Whman-Walker Clic, where <a href=">I began a 30-day anti-HIV dg regimen</a> (I am HIV-negative, thank God). In the exam, when the nurse asked me to exhale eply, I uld smell his sweat and semen on my breath, and I began cryg all over aga, bee I didn’t remember givg — or beg forced to give — fellat, and sudnly I realized there was a whole extra circle of Hell, hidn horrors done to my unnsc body wh no way of ever knowg fully what happened.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I wasn’t gog to wre any of this. But even given all those statistics, I’ve never heard a story told om my perspective, and certaly never expected to be the one tellg . I had e to accept my life as a kd of ongog closet: a secret room which a playthg lled Richard — lled “sexy” — broken by some zealo child. But the untold stori are precisely the most important stori to tell. The more stori that are told, the ls they n all be the same.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">* * *</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><strong>I know how dumb and selfish and even endangerg this n sound, but I don’t want to charge my attacker (not everyone do)</strong><strong>.</strong> After the JMU asslt, the survivor <a href=">told</a> the Huffgton Post that “It was kd of hard for me to al wh. I jt tried to dimish the suatn. I didn’t want to brg up, didn’t want to talk about .” That ronated wh me. I don’t want anythg to do wh him. I don’t want him my life, even a urtroom. I kept imagg, perhaps too cematilly, that he’d toss off some hntg quip as he was hled away. I won’t let him. I won’t even let him have a name now. He’s a namels mon who has taken so much that I don’t want to give him even the possibily of takg more.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Beg asslted changed sex for me. The total absence of timacy durg that horrible weekend rtored my need for . In the world of hook-up apps, where you n know the size of a paramour’s penis before you know his name — if you ever learn his name — sex be worse than sual, worse than rnal; be transactnal. Usg Grdr and s ilk, men orr guys over to their apartments as if they were specialty pizzas.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Afterward, the 30-day anti-HIV dg regimen weirdly helped thgs. I was certaly not about to be sexually active that time. It enabled a kd of monasticism. My new le beme that I didn’t want to have sex wh anyone I wouldn’t brg to a dner party. I recently spent an eveng wh a guy that peaked wh hand-holdg. (It was everythg The Beatl promised and more.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">So much — too much — of our llective gay story is about sadns and spair and downfall. “Gvanni’s Room.” “Dancer From The Dance.” “The Normal Heart.” “Angels Ameri.” “My Own Private Idaho.” “Philalphia.” “Brokeback Mounta.” “Milk.” “Weekend.” When the two hot teenage boys “Y Tu Mamá También” hook up, stroys their iendship. Even “Will & Grace” end wh the lifelong iendship s of . It’s an unspoken tra-off: gays n be pop culture as long as they’re vacuo or miserable or both, as if we’re born wh the gene for sad endgs (#getsbter).</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I n’t offer a happy endg here. I don’t want the sort of closure that turns cints like this to a neat three-act “Law & Orr” episo. I’ve cid stead — and wrg this is the first step — that the rultg self-awarens, and hopefully, beyond me, a ter social awarens of rape, is a sufficient da. It would be pretty ironic for me to force my takeaway upon anyone else, but the year sce my trma, I’ve redited myself to kdns and hope and timacy, which has ma me feel fortable enough to realize that my story n serve a purpose, too. That, I pray, n at least be an everlastg happy begng.</p></div><div class="wpds-c-ipATMk wpds-c-ipATMk-hCiGAB-removeMobileStyl-te"><div class="wpds-c-dhzjXW wpds-c-dhzjXW-iPJLV-css overriStyl"><div id="gift-share-end" data-ttid="gift-share-end" class="PJLV PJLV-idiqKOk-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-iIVoLq-placement-Shortcut foc-highlight"><div class="wpds-c-UazGY" id="gift-share-shortcut" data-ttid="gift-share-shortcut"><svg xmlns=" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fVfumU "><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg><div class="PJLV wpds-c-kwcHlj">Share</div></div></button></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><sectn class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css dn-ns hi-for-prt" data-ttid="mostRead" subscriptns-sectn="ntent"><div data-ttid="lazy-most-read-parent" class=""><div style="m-height:800px"></div></div></sectn><div class="PJLV PJLV-ickXkbz-css"><div data-qa="newsletter" class="hi-for-prt relative"><div class="dib w-100"><div><div class="flex jtify-center align self-center center transn-all duratn-400 ease--out" data-qa="sc-newsletter-signup" aria-label=""><svg aria-labelledby="react-aria-1-aria" role="img" viewBox="0 0 100 80"><tle id="react-aria-1-aria">Loadg...

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Dream Boy: Directed by Jam Bolton. Wh Stephan Benr, Thomas Jay Ryan, Diana Srwid, Tom Gilroy. Based on the novel "Dream Boy" by Jim Grimsley, this film chronicl the relatnship between two gay teenagers the ral south the late 70's." data-id="ma

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THE FIRST GAY PUB I DARED SET FOOT NOW HAS A RABOW PLAQUE. HERE’S WHY THAT MATTERS

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Most prompts for gay porn, meanwhile, explibly flt to people of ambiguoly LatX scent wh an unrcut hairstyle. Is that ditive of the typ of gay porn the mols were traed on? A gay uple, as picted by Unstable Diffn.

KEV MAXEN BE FIRST MALE ACH A US MEN’S PROFSNAL SPORTS LEAGUE TO PUBLICLY E OUT AS GAY

Homosexualy is a crime Mlim-majory Malaysia. Rights groups have warned of growg tolerance agast lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr vios posted on social media late on Friday, Healy was seen kissg bassist Ross MacDonald after cricizg Malaysia’s stance agast homosexualy a profany-lan speech to the ftival dience. Not as easy as looks” was cricised for kissg a male fan at a 2019 ncert the Uned Arab Emirat, which also has laws agast homosexual acts, media reported.

Frankly, I’d have served a prison jt for him to hold my hand, like he did his off-whe Vxhall Nova on the drive there, breakg only to change, he took me for strawberry cir the Gloucter, a pub at the park’s edge, takg my tremblg hand his and reassurg me: “It’s actually a gay bar.

BARBIE’S WEIRDO DOLLS: ALL ABOUT MIDGE, EARRG MAGIC KEN, AND MOREGRETA GERWIG’S MOVIE CLUS WKY MEOS OM SOME OF MATTEL’S MOST FAMO DISNTUED PRODUCTS—AND AT LEAST ONE THAT’S STILL AVAILABLE STOR.BY HILLARY BISJULY 21, 2023COURTY OF MATTEL INC.SAVE THIS STORYSAVESAVE THIS STORYSAVEALAS, YOU NNOT BUY A WEIRD BARBIE DOLL WHO LOOKS LIKE KATE MCKNON—YOU’LL JT HAVE TO CHOP OFF A REGULAR DOLL’S HAIR AND SCRIBBLE ON HER FACE YOURSELF. BUT YOU N BUY A VERSN OF THE POOPG BARBIE DOG THAT WEIRD BARBIE LIV WH GRETA GERWIG’S BARBIE. THE PLASTIC PET PACKAGED WH A BARBIE WEARG A STRIPED SWEATER AND SPORTY SNEAKERS; S OFFICIALLY SANCTNED NAME IS THE BARBIE WALK AND POTTY PUP. “WHEN ’S TIME FOR A POTTY BREAK, PH ON THE PUPPY’S TAIL,” THE AD PY READS. “BARBIE DOLL N CLEAN UP G THE BROOM AND SOPER.” CONGRATULATNS, KID. HERE’S A PILE OF CRAP!BARBIE IS A MERCHANDISER’S DREAM, A GENERALLY WELL-RECEIVED, ENARGLY SUBVERSIVE PRODUCT THAT’S STILL, AT HEART, A GLORIFIED TWO-HOUR TOY MERCIAL. BUT TO THE FILM’S CRED, DON’T SHY AWAY OM REFERENCG SOME OF MATTEL’S ODR OFFERGS. ACRDG TO A NEW YORKER ARTICLE, THE FETG DOG IS ACTUALLY BASED ON TANNER, A BARBIE ACCSORY OM THE GHTS THAT ATE S OWN POOP—Y!—AND WAS EVENTUALLY RELLED NOT FOR BEG DISGTG, BUT BEE THE MAG SI BARBIE’S POOPER SOPER ULD E LOOSE AND BE SWALLOWED BY A CHILD. (THE WALK AND POTTY PUP APPEARS TO BE SENTIALLY THE SAME TOY, M MAGS.) BELOW, WE TAKE STOCK OF MORE TOYS LIKE TANNER: THE REAL-LIFE WEIRD BARBI THAT DREW PLATS, RISN, AND CELEBRATN AS ACCINTAL GAY INS. PROT BARBIE IS NOT AMONG THEM—AT LEAST, NOT YET.COURTY OF MATTEL, INC.MIDGEEMERALD FENNELL HAS A GLORIFIED MEO BARBIE AS MIDGE, A REDHEAD DOLL WH A BUN THE OVEN. Y, THAT’S RIGHT: MIDGE IS PREGNANT. THAT DIFFERENTIAT THE MOVIE’S VERSN OF THE DOLL OM HER ORIGAL RNATN, LNCHED 1963 AS BARBIE’S MORE APPROACHABLE BT PAL. SHE WAS DISNTUED 1967, THEN RETRODUCED 1987, AGA THE ’90S, AND, MOST FAMOLY, ONE MORE TIME THE GHTS, AS PART OF THE “HAPPY FAY” SET—WHICH GAVE MIDGE A TY DOLL BABY THAT ULD BE PLACED EHER A BULGG STOMACH (WHICH GIRLS ULD MAGILLY ATTACH AND TACH OM MIDGE’S MIDDLE) OR “BORN” OUT OF THAT SAME PLASTIC DOME. HER HBAND AND THREE-YEAR-OLD SON WERE SOLD SEPARATELY.GGER GAETZ, WIFE OF MATT, ANNOUNCED TUDAY THAT SHE HAD SEEN THE BARBIE MOVIE, AND WAS DISAPPOTED BY PART DUE TO THE FILM’S “UNFAIR TREATMENT OF PREGNANT BARBIE MIDGE.” IRONIC, SCE NSERVATIVE IRE WAS STMENTAL GETTG HAPPY FAY MIDGE NCELED. “IT’S A BAD IA. IT PROMOT TEENAGE PREGNANCY. WHAT WOULD AN 8-YEAR-OLD OR 12-YEAR-OLD GET OUT OF THAT DOLL BABY?” ONE MOTHER ASKED THE ASSOCIATED PRS 2002. THE DOLL WAS PULLED OM WAL-MART DUE TO PLATS; JT AS NARRATOR HELEN MIRREN TELLS BARBIE, SHE WAS EVENTUALLY AXED OM THE MATTEL LP ALTOGETHER FOR BEG “TOO WEIRD.” BUT PERHAPS MIDGE GETS THE LAST LGH: ACRDG TO AT LEAST ONE LLECTOR, SHE’S NOW WORTH UP TO $400 MT NDN.COURTY OF MATTEL, INC.ALLANREMEMBER HOW MIDGE HAD A HBAND? THAT WOULD BE ALLAN, PLAYED THE MOVIE BY A VERY GAME MICHAEL CERA. ORIGALLY TRODUCED 1964, HE WAS CREATED TO BE KEN’S BT BUDDY. (BARBIE WAS NAMED FOR CREATOR RUTH HANDLER’S DGHTER, AND KEN FOR HER SON; ALLAN WAS NAMED FOR HER THEN-SON--LAW, ALLEN SEGAL.) KEN AND ALLAN ARE VERY CLOSE; AS CERA TELLS THE MOVIE, “ALL HIS CLOTH F ME” (A LE STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MERCIALS). LIKE MIDGE, ALLAN’S BEEN AND OUT OF THE BARBIE UNIVERSE FOR NEARLY 60 YEARS—MOSTLY OUT. MATTEL HASN’T YET RELEASED AN ALLAN BARBIE TIE- DOLL, BUT GIVEN HOW FUNNY CERA IS THE FILM, THEY REALLY SHOULD.MOST POPULAROUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SEASON 2: EXCLIVE FIRST LOOKBY SARAH CATHERALLFLORENCE PUGH SAYS CHRISTOPHER NOLAN “APOLOGIZED” FOR HER SMALL OPPENHEIMER ROLEBY SAVANNAH WALSHTHE GILD AGE WILL GET A LOT MORE OPERATIC SEASON 2BY RICHARD LAWSONCOURTY OF MATTEL, INC.VIO GIRL BARBIEDEEP WH WEIRD BARBIE’S GONZO DREAMHOE LURKS VIO GIRL BARBIE (METTE NARRATIVE), WHO LOOKS LIKE AN ODDY OM THE 90S BUT WAS ACTUALLY TRODUCED JT 13 YEARS AGO. AS THE WALL STREET JOURNAL WROTE AT THE TIME, VIO GIRL “HAS A GAPG HOLE HER CHT, DISGUISED AS A FASHN PENDANT, THAT NTAS A MERA LENS.” IT’S NNECTED TO THE VIO SCREEN EMBEDD TO HER BACK. THE IA WAS THAT GIRLS ULD E THE DOLLS TO RERD AND PLAY THEIR OWN HOME MOVI. (THIS WAS 2010, REMEMBER, YEARS BEFORE WAS POSSIBLE TO SHOOT A WELL-RECEIVED DIE MOVIE ENTIRELY ON AN IPHONE.) WH THE PACY TO PTURE ABOUT 25 MUT OF FOOTAGE, USB PATIBILY, AND EE EDG SOFTWARE, YOU N IMAGE THE DOLL BEG A H WH FUTURE GRETA GERWIGS. INSTEAD, VIO GIRL WAS CENSURED BY—AND THIS IS TE—THE FBI, WHICH ISSUED AN ADVISORY SAYG THAT THE DOLL ULD POTENTIALLY BE ED TO RERD CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. PERHAPS NEEDLS TO SAY, MATTEL NO LONGER SELLS VIO GIRL BARBIE.COURTY OF MATTEL, INC.GROWG UP SKIPPERANOTHER ONE OM THE BAD IA FIL, THIS DOLL—ALSO BANISHED TO WEIRD BARBIE’S HOE OF NIGHTMAR THE FILM, WHERE SHE’S PLAYED BY HANNAH KHALIQUE-BROWN—IS THE VERSN OF BARBIE’S LTLE SISTER RELEASED 1975 THAT “GROWS AS HER FIGURE MATUR.” MEANG WHEN YOU TURN HER ARM, SHE GETS TALLER…AND HER BOOBS SWELL. NOPE!MOST POPULAROUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SEASON 2: EXCLIVE FIRST LOOKBY SARAH CATHERALLFLORENCE PUGH SAYS CHRISTOPHER NOLAN “APOLOGIZED” FOR HER SMALL OPPENHEIMER ROLEBY SAVANNAH WALSHTHE GILD AGE WILL GET A LOT MORE OPERATIC SEASON 2BY RICHARD LAWSONCOURTY OF MATTEL, INC.TEEN TALK BARBIERELEASED 1992 (AND PLAYED ONSCREEN BY MARISA ABELA), TEEN TALK BARBIE HAD A VOICE BOX THAT SHE ED TO SAY THGS LIKE “LET’S PLAN OUR DREAM WEDDG!” AND “MATH CLASS IS TOUGH!” FEMISTS RAILED AT THE DOLL, SPIRG A CLASSIC EPISO OF THE SIMPSONS THAT READS SORT OF LIKE A FIRST DRAFT FOR GERWIG’S BARBIE MOVIE.COURTY OF MATTEL, INC.EARRG MAGIC KENWHEN BARBIE (MARGOT ROBBIE) AND KEN (RYAN GOSLG) ROLLERBLA TO VENICE BEACH, KEN MOMENTARILY FDS HIMSELF RECEIVG APPRECIATIVE GLANC OM TWO QUEER-D BYSTANRS. THOSE GUYS MAY HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE EXCED TO MEET ANOTHER WEIRD BARBIE PAL: EARRG MAGIC KEN (TOM STOURTON THE MOVIE), RELEASED 1993. HE WAS CLAD PURPLE LEATHER AND MH; HE HAD, OF URSE, A SGLE GLEAMG HOOP EARRG. MOST POPULAROUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SEASON 2: EXCLIVE FIRST LOOKBY SARAH CATHERALLFLORENCE PUGH SAYS CHRISTOPHER NOLAN “APOLOGIZED” FOR HER SMALL OPPENHEIMER ROLEBY SAVANNAH WALSHTHE GILD AGE WILL GET A LOT MORE OPERATIC SEASON 2BY RICHARD LAWSONHE WAS PART OF THE PANY’S NEW EARRG MAGIC LE, BUT IMMEDIATELY STOOD APART AFTER BEG UNOFFICIALLY ADOPTED BY THE GAY MUNY—NOT LEAST BEE OF THE STUNNG SILVER PENDANT HE WORE AROUND HIS NECK. (FANS LIKE SEX ADVICE LUMNIST DAN SAVAGE TERPRETED THE JEWELRY UH, DIFFERENTLY THAN MATTEL DID. “IT’S A NECKLACE. IT HOLDS CHARMS HE N SHARE WH BARBIE,” A SPOKWOMAN TOLD HIM AT THE TIME. “C’MON, THIS IS A DOLL SIGNED FOR LTLE GIRLS.”) HE WAS MEANT TO MAKE GIRLS THK KEN WAS OL. INSTEAD, HE GOT A BUNCH OF OL MEN TO THK KEN WAS OL, WHICH IS HONTLY A MORE IMPRSIVE ACHIEVEMENT.COURTY OF MATTEL, INC.SUGAR’S DADDY (OR IS IT SUGAR DADDY?) KENBY 2009—11 YEARS AFTER WILL & GRACE BUTED!—ONE MIGHT EXPECT MATTEL TO HAVE GROWN WISER TO THE WAYS S PRODUCTS WOULD BE TERPRETED BY ADULTS. THAT WAS THE YEAR THE PANY RELEASED SUGAR’S DADDY KEN (NOTE THE POSSSIVE NOUN!), PART OF S PALM BEACH LE OF TOYS AIMED AT GROWN-UP LLECTORS. SUGAR’S DADDY (PLAYED BY ROB BRYDON THE FILM) ME WH A WELL-TAILORED PAISLEY BLAZER, A SMART PAIR OF WHE LOAFERS, AND A TEENY WHE TERRIER ON A PK LEASH. THAT WOULD BE SUGAR. “THE LTLE DOG’S NAME IS ACTUALLY SUGAR,” A MATTEL SPOKWOMAN TOLD THE NEW YORK POST AT THE TIME. “THAT’S WHERE THE NAME OM. HE’S SUGAR’S DADDY, AS A REFERENCE TO THE DOG.” UH HUH. SPEAKG TO ABC NEWS, THE PANY SEEMED SLIGHTLY MORE SELF-AWARE. “AT THE END OF THE DAY, THIS LLECTN IS TARGETED TOWARD ADULTS,” A SPOKWOMAN TOLD THE OUTLET. “WHILE THE NAME OF THE DOLL DO REFER BACK TO THE DOG, I THK PEOPLE ARE GOG TO TERPRET AS THEY WANT TO TERPRET .” SO THIS SE, AT LEAST, THE JOKE MAY HAVE BEEN ON THE RT OF .MORE GREAT STORI FROM VANY FAIRRILEY KEOUGH ON GROWG UP PRLEY, INHERG GRACELAND, AND MORETE CRIME, TE FAH: THE SERIAL KILLER AND THE TEXAS MOM WHO STOPPED HIMTHE TAN SUBMERSIBLE DISASTER WAS YEARS THE MAKG, NEW DETAILS REVEALWHY THE GEIA INDICTMENT AGAST TMP AND HIS ALLI IS THE MOST SWEEPG YETIVANKA TMP IS NOT LETTG HER DAD’S MOUNTG LEGAL WO RU HER SUMMER25 PERFECT TV EPISOS FROM THE LAST 25 YEARSA NEW SLIM AARONS BOOK CAPTUR A LOST WORLDFROM THE ARCHIVE: TOO HEPBURN FOR HOLLYWOOD (2006)HILLARY BIS

Gay pubs are far more than bars; they’re refug.

On Sunday, the first a new seri of rabow plaqu will be stalled at the Gloucter – now the Greenwich Tavern – cementg s place gay home the workg-class Medway area of Kent, where we met when he sold me a phone cred rd at the lol petrol statn, “queers” like were wily perceived as predatory, perverted, spic or simply scum.

”After the strawberry cir, served by a man a tight whe vt – the only other gay man I’d seen real life – the squiggly summer sunlight ma a strobe effect through the park’s tre.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY TEEN ORAL

The Washgton Post</tle><path d="M39.2 32v36.6c4.7-2.8 7-6.8 8.7-12.1l1.2.6c-1.1 13.2-10.3 26-24.3 26S0 72.6 0 55.8C0 43 7.7 35.1 18.7 28.2a16.11 16.11 0 00-4.4-.6c-7.2 0-11.4 4.9-11.4 9.9H1.5a14.77 14.77 0 01-.1-2.1c0-9.3 5.5-19.7 16.9-19.7 7.3 0 12.9 6.7 21.4 6.7 4.3 0 6.7-1.6 8.4-5.3h1.2c-.1 6.5-2 12.8-10.1 14.9zm-19-3.3C15.1 34 10.1 39.6 10.1 50.9c0 6.2 1.9 12.4 6.6 16.4l3.1-1.7V40.3L16.6 42l-1-1.6 15-8.4c-3.8-.8-6.9-2.3-10.4-3.3zm17.1 3.7a17 17 0 01-2.3.1 17.52 17.52 0 01-4-.4v29.5l-12.8 7a15.57 15.57 0 009.9 3 22.58 22.58 0 009.2-2zm44 9.2v34.3c0 9.6-8.51 16.11-18 18l-.6-1c4.7-2.3 7.8-6.41 7.8-11.41V45.7l-4.9-4.5-2.6 2.6v27.1l3 2.8v.4l-8.1 8.61-9.3-8.51v-.4l3.6-3.8V25.8l10.6-11.3.2.1v26.6l8.7-9.2 8.7 7.9 2.7-2.6 1.31 1.3zM97.91 62v4.5l9 7.1 7-7.3 1.3 1.3L101 82.8 88.21 72.6l-2.8 2.8-1.2-1.3 3.1-3.2V45.8l18.9-13.8 10.5 16.3zm.2-22.6l-.2.1v20.1l8.7-6.4zM180 82.71l-13.9-12-10.6 12-14.4-12.41V50.7h-2.8a3.89 3.89 0 00-4.1 3.5h-1a15.87 15.87 0 01-.5-3.8c0-2.6 1.1-9.4 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3.8l.1-.09zm6.41-19.6a9.78 9.78 0 01-6.91 2.3 8.92 8.92 0 01-6.3-2.9l-.2.1v14.6h3.8l9.7-14zm22.9 43.41l-8.8-6.91-2.71 2.7-1.3-1.29 3.1-3.21V39.4H671l-.2-.2 3.5-5.2h2.5v-6.7L687.41 16l.2.2V34h8l.2.2-3.5 5.2h-4.7v30.3l4.8 3.7 3.3-3.4 1.3 1.4z"></path></svg><span class="alic gray font-xxxxs font--body">Democracy Di Darkns</span></div></div><hear class="w-100" data-qa="ma-full"><div class="hi-for-prt"></div><div class="mt-lg"><div data-qa="kicker" class="wpds-c-eyomNc wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-jYXVnY-lor-black wpds-c-PJLV-mlvxn-size-lg"><a href=" class="PJLV PJLV-ieDwgbC-css">PostEverythg</a></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iklXUFA-css"><h1 class="PJLV PJLV-ikmtGxl-css overriStyl" data-ttid="headle" data-qa="headle" id="ma-ntent"><span data-qa="headle-text" class="PJLV">My own rape shows how much we get wrong about the attacks</span></h1></div><div class="flex prt-byle prt-mt-none"><div class="byle-wrapper flex-lumn flex"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ihSmMVC-css"><div class="PJLV PJLV-iPJLV-css mb-xxs overriStyl" style="gap:0.5rem" data-qa="thor-byle"><span class="wpds-c-PJLV"><div class="flex" data-qa="thor-byle"><div class="mr-sm flex lh-0"><div class="wpds-c-iTcer"><img src=" alt="" class="wpds-c-dgBqAZ"/></div></div><span class="left"><div class="flex"><div class="dib font-xxs" data-qa="name-wh-optnal-lk" data-cy="name-wh-optnal-lk"><span data-qa="attributn-text" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP">By <!-- --> </span><a data-qa="thor-name" href=" rel="thor" class="wpds-c-cNdzuP wpds-c-cNdzuP-ejzZdU-isLk-te">Richard Man</a></div></div></span></div></span></div></div><div data-ttid="timtamp" class="wpds-c-kgabfe wpds-c-kgabfe-ieEDlgV-css"><span data-ttid="display-date" class="wpds-c-iKQyrV">July 1, 2014 at 10:18 a.m. EDT</span></div></div></div></hear></div><article class="grid-article mb-xxl-ns" data-qa="ma"><div data-ttid="le-art" data-qa="le-art" class=""><figure class="overflow-hidn relative hi-for-prt center center mb-sm mb-md-ns ml-to-ns mr-to-ns grid-mobile-full-bleed"><div style="filter:blur(10px);transn:filter .1s;le-height:0" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="399"><img style="background-size:ver;max-width:1600px;background-image:url('data:image/svg+xml;charset=utf-8,%3Csvg xmlns='http%3A//; xmlns%3Axlk='http%3A//; viewBox='0 0 1280 853'%3E%3Cfilter id='b' lor-terpolatn-filters='sRGB'%3E%3CfeGssianBlur stdDeviatn='.5'%3E%3C/feGssianBlur%3E%3CfeComponentTransfer%3E%3CfeFuncA type='discrete' tableValu='1 1'%3E%3C/feFuncA%3E%3C/feComponentTransfer%3E%3C/filter%3E%3Cimage filter='url(%23b)' x='0' y='0' height='100%25' width='100%25' xlk%3Ahref='data%3Aimage/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAAkAAAAGCAIAAACepSOSAAAACXBIWXMAAC4jAAAuIwF4pT92AAAAs0lEQVQI1wGoAFf/AImSoJSer5yjs52ktp2luJuluKOpuJefsoCNowB+kKaOm66grL+krsCnsMGrt8m1u8mzt8OVoLIAhJqzjZ2tnLLLnLHJp7fNmpyjqbPCqLrRjqO7AIeUn5ultaWtt56msaSnroZyY4mBgLq7wY6TmwCRfk2Pf1uzm2WulV+xmV6rmGyQfFm3nWSBcEIAfm46jX1FkH5Djn5AmodGo49MopBLlIRBfG8yj/dfjF5TUAAAAASUVORK5CYII='%3E%3C/image%3E%3C/svg%3E')" alt="" class="w-100 mw-100 h-to" width="600" height="399" srcSet=" 400w, 540w, 691w, 767w, 916w, 1200w" siz="(max-width: 440px) 440px,(max-width: 600px) 691px,(max-width: 768px) 691px,(m-width: 769px) and (max-width: 1023px) 960px,(m-width: 1024px) and (max-width: 1299px) 530px,(m-width: 1300px) and (max-width: 1439px) 691px,(m-width: 1440px) 916px,440px" dg="async"/></div><figptn class="ml-gutter mr-gutter mr-to-ns ml-to-ns font--subhead font-xxxs mt-xs left gray-dark">Some people still see rape acrdg to the old cliche: vile men draggg nocent women to dark alleys and then btalizg them. (Arturo Latierro )</figptn></figure></div><div class="grid-body"><div class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-PJLV-hSmMVC-isLuf2-false"><div class="wpds-c-jUMcim wpds-c-jUMcim-ibVGacg-css hi-for-prt mb-sm"><div class="PJLV PJLV-ieDMgMI-css flex ems-center" nfig="[object Object]" data-qa="article-actns"><div class="wpds-c-mfMEg"><div class="wpds-c-kSOqLF wpds-c-hnjNCH wpds-c-kSOqLF-bywHgD-variant-primary wpds-c-kSOqLF-biynoz-nsy-pact wpds-c-kSOqLF-hZSyid-isOutle-te wpds-c-kSOqLF-ejCoEP-in-left wpds-c-kSOqLF-futx-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-eNNUQD-cv wpds-c-hnjNCH-jGqLyO-cv"><div id="gift-share" data-ttid="gift-share" class="PJLV PJLV-ieGzigK-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-dTGBTO-placement-ActnBar foc-highlight"><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fBqPWp-idCxsxc-css " aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></button></div><span aria-hidn="te" class="wpds-c-fBEbFG">Share</span></div></div></div></div></div><div class="teaser-ntent grid-center"><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><em>[WARNING: This say scrib sexually explic suatns.]</em></p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“I ma the for to celebrate,” he said, snterg out of the kchen wh two shot glass full of a red nctn.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="db dn-ns mr-neg-gutter ml-neg-gutter mb-md hi-for-prt" data-qa="subscribe-promo"><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div><a class="pt-sm pb-sm flex ems-center bold font-xxxs font-xxs-ns jtify-center" href=" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener" style="lor:#166dfc;borr:none"><svg class="ntent-box" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" xmlns=" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>Wp</tle><path d="M11.055 8.728l-1.018-1.019-.782.782v6.292l1.782 1.564.018-.019v-7.6zm-4.11.236L5.674 7.71l-.836.855v6.237l1.545 1.327.564-.636V8.964zm2.656 9.074l-2.528-2.182-1.927 2.182-2.619-2.255v-3.564h-.509c-.454 0-.672.273-.745.636H1.09a2.89 2.89 0 0 1-.091-.69c0-.473.2-1.71 1.527-1.71V7.691c0-1.073-.709-1.127-.709-2.054 0-1.037.982-2 2.782-2.637l.164.145c-.6.291-1.09.655-1.09 1.437 0 1.2 1.163.89 1.163 2.782v.727l2.127-2.236 2.237 2.2 2.109-2.2 2.036 2v6.728l-3.745 3.455zm11.108-9.625l-1.073-.982-.964 1.018v6.6c.855.11 1.491.4 2.019.964l.018-.018V8.413zm-2.382.418l-.528.545v10.237l.528.492V8.83zm1.49 9.055c-.308-.382-.69-.709-1.145-.836v3.782l-.036.018-1-.927-2.11 1.945-.036-.018V16.96c-.636.145-1.327.545-1.854 1.2l-.146-.091c.127-1.4.818-2.436 2-2.837v-3.545h-.382c-.527 0-.89.363-.963.763h-.219c-.054-.145-.127-.381-.127-.836 0-.891.6-1.564 1.582-1.564h.11V8.085l-.655-.582-.51.51-.254-.237 2.018-2.073 1.71 1.564V9.05l.527-.564v-2.09h.345v1.727l2.273-2.419L23 7.576v7.91l-3.182 2.4z" fill-le="evenodd"></path></svg><span class="mr-xs ml-xs gray-darkt flex ems-center">Get the full experience.<span class="ml-xs subs-theme blue">Choose your plan</span></span><svg class="ntent-box" width="16" height="16" viewBox="0 0 16 16" xmlns=" style="fill:#166dfc" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img"><tle>ArrowRight</tle><path d="M7.664 1.25l6 6a1 1 0 010 1.414l-6 6L6.25 13.25 10.499 9H2V7h8.585L6.25 2.664 7.664 1.25z" fill-le="nonzero"></path></svg></a><div data-orientatn="horizontal" role="separator" class="wpds-c-dbVHzF wpds-c-dbVHzF-hDkAcj-variant-flt"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“Celebrate what?” I asked.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">He cked his head to one si. “You’re here!” he cheered. “You fally ma .”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I had been on a long, gelg b ri up om Washgton DC to his apartment New York. It was already 9:45 p.m on a Friday last summer. I felt sore and had jt taken a shower to rid the b experience om my sk. I lghed and, holdg the towel around my waist one hand and the shot glass the other, I looked at . “What’s ?”</p></div></div><div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“G!” I thought he said, more excedly than he should have. G mak me sick. “That’s not really my thg,” I said. Then he pouted, illy and even adorably: “But I ma jt for .”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">So I drank and was a b sharp but really lic, like tart watermelon. “You n hardly taste the g,” I said.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“What g?”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">“You said there was g.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">He lghed. “I said G.” He meant GHB, gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, monly known as the date-rape dg. Later me several more dgggs, as he held Gatora up to my limp lips wh who-knows-what mixed . I spent the weekend — about 60 hours — semi-nsc and didn’t leave his apartment until Monday morng. Sometim I thk I never left his apartment, that someone who merely looks and sounds like me walked out.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I had received anal sex twice my life before that night. By weekend’s end, was 17 tim, acrdg to my fog-of-war unt. Ey squeezed shut, the tally was the only thg I foced on at tim — like a tickg clock a solary nfement cell. Every addn to the tally meant I was one moment closer to the end. He moved out soon afterward, which helped erase the existence of that place for me.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I was raped. I had met him a few weeks earlier at a hoe party, and we had h off. He was handsome: 30, well-built, tall wh long black hair, a surfer’s lgh, and great taste “X-Men” (Gamb). He was not some lechero old man. He was not a sexually reprsed loser. There was nothg about him that was “rapey” (a word I tt). The sex self was — I n’t really say was “good,” bee that’s far too moral of a word and far more than he serv, but was highly skilled. He knew exactly what he was dog, exactly how to stimulate me. What he didn’t know was when to listen to me sayg “no,” when to stop, when to realize that my kickg and punchg and shovg and screamg and wrhg was not jt some sick roleplay while he blasted Lady Gaga’s “I Like It Rough.” He vered my sobbg mouth wh his hands. He hhed me and lled me “sexy,” as “You got this, sexy.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">When I wrote about <a href=">men who are raped by women</a>, for Details magaze 2004, ught the eye of Bill O’Reilly, who discsed on his show. “If you’re lucky enough as a guy to have some girl e on to you that manner,” he said, “but you don’t want to reciprote, you stand up and you leave, unls the woman is 240 pounds and tackl you. The man is tradnally stronger and better equipped to leave the room.” There is a great disbelief out there, spe the numbers — om the CDC! the NIH! the Jtice Department! — about how <a href=">1 33 men</a> have experienced “a pleted or attempted rape,” or <a href=">12.9 percent</a> have been sexually asslted. Mostly ’s by men they know. (I have a uple dozen mutual Facebook iends wh my assailant.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Some people still see rape acrdg to the old cliche: vile men draggg nocent women to dark alleys and then btalizg them. As we are fally learng, the realy is much more plited than the nventnal-wisdom rtoon. Sometim those women experience asm, which n be psychologilly vastatg. I was erect for much of my rape (at least the parts for which I was awake, but probably other parts, too); my assailant knew how to stimulate the physlogil rponse of an erectn — as opposed to the emotnal or psychologil rponse — even if I was cryg or actively tryg to thk about unsexy thgs. I wasn’t handcuffed or tied up, but was a versn of dissociated shock. The visible, immeasurable shackl of such a vlatn are immense.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">From the bed, I uld see the ont door, but was away and I thought, <em>No, I won’t be able to get to the door, unlock , open and pe before he beats the hell out of me</em>. And what was my optn, anyway? To n naked and groggy through his halls and down Nth Avenue? It’s amazg how much fear n make you want — really want — to appease a ptor.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div id="gift-share-le" data-ttid="gift-share-le" class="PJLV PJLV-ilotWTr-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-le" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-goNocI-placement-Inle foc-highlight"><div data-ttid="gift-share-terstial-trigger" class="wpds-c-kPqOkS wpds-c-kPqOkS-jtSXsT-hasSubsText-false"><span class="wpds-c-hBJqc"><span class="wpds-c-dzSncg">Share this article</span></span><span class="wpds-c-eCvK"><span class="wpds-c-enedHQ wpds-c-enedHQ-cCdK-isShown-false">Share</span><svg xmlns=" fill="currentColor" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fBqPWp wpds-c-fDHGth"><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg></span></div></button></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Rape may be as bad as murr, but, like murr, there are many kds of rape. War-crime rape, date rape, rape as a rual for pledgg a aterny, spoal rape, ct, rape wh known assailants, rape wh unknown assailants, police officers sodomizg a man wh a broomstick. Rape ntas multus. Any discsn of rape is gog to require as a culture to get much more imagative about . (Helpfully, the Jtice Department jt <a href=">expand s fn</a> to clu men.) Every time we discs rape as if ’s only men draggg women to alleys, we make the act of reportg all the more unfortable, burnsome and alienatg for women beg raped by their boyiends, or stunts beg raped by their teachers, or men beg raped by women, or men beg raped by men. It is an act of theft on top of an act of rape.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">* * *</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><strong>What’s shockg about this limed perspective is, sadly, how much opportuny there is to see the full spectm of rape our culture.</strong> Not only are dozens of lleg currently embroiled sex asslt vtigatns — cludg Jam Madison Universy, which jt punished three rapists wh <a href=">“expulsn after graduatn”</a> (or, as a iend noted, jt “graduatn”). There are the tw revulsns of <a href=">Dov Charney</a> and Terry Richardson. New York magaze put Richardson on s ver last month wh the qutn “<a href=">Is Terry Richardson an Artist or a Predator?</a>” as if a person nnot be both. There’s self-scribed “Ve star” Brtany Furlan on the red rpet for Soap Opera Network’s Daytime Emmys verage tellg a male actor “We’re gog to get you away om before we rape you.” It’s a world where Gee Will realistilly n fend <a href=">wrg</a> that sexual asslt survivors “make victimhood a veted stat that nfers privileg.” The Web se <a href="></a>, which tracks Republin blunrs on rape, is now s eighth edn.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">When male victims are discsed, ’s almost always about children — the Sandky stori and all their perverse variants. For adults, or out of prison, male-on-male rape is mostly thought of as an attack on a heterosexual victim, rape addg homophobic sult to jury. Yet rape is, ironilly, always on the tongu of men. “I’m gonna rape you Halo!” “This Monday morng is rapg me.” “Paper jam? Ugh, I wanna rape this prter.”</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">The terrible thg about beg a gay man is that is pennt on exprsn. If you’re straight and have never had sex, you’re a virg. If you’re gay and have never had sex, you’re nfed. <em>How n you know you’re gay unls you’ve tried ?</em> In the wake of my nightmare — and all the subsequent nightmar and daymar that have e wh — I wanted nothg to do wh sex. But what is a gay man who don’t have sex? I wasn’t even sure what I beme.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div data-qa="article-image" class="hi-for-prt"><div style="m-height:358px"></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">When I fally eed myself om that apartment — I flatter myself; the tth is, he was done wh me — I took the next tra out of town. I wanted to be as far away as I uld. From the lobby of Unn Statn D.C., I sobbed to my phone and told a iend what happened. He might have saved my life by urgg me to a b to Whman-Walker Clic, where <a href=">I began a 30-day anti-HIV dg regimen</a> (I am HIV-negative, thank God). In the exam, when the nurse asked me to exhale eply, I uld smell his sweat and semen on my breath, and I began cryg all over aga, bee I didn’t remember givg — or beg forced to give — fellat, and sudnly I realized there was a whole extra circle of Hell, hidn horrors done to my unnsc body wh no way of ever knowg fully what happened.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I wasn’t gog to wre any of this. But even given all those statistics, I’ve never heard a story told om my perspective, and certaly never expected to be the one tellg . I had e to accept my life as a kd of ongog closet: a secret room which a playthg lled Richard — lled “sexy” — broken by some zealo child. But the untold stori are precisely the most important stori to tell. The more stori that are told, the ls they n all be the same.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">* * *</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null"><strong>I know how dumb and selfish and even endangerg this n sound, but I don’t want to charge my attacker (not everyone do)</strong><strong>.</strong> After the JMU asslt, the survivor <a href=">told</a> the Huffgton Post that “It was kd of hard for me to al wh. I jt tried to dimish the suatn. I didn’t want to brg up, didn’t want to talk about .” That ronated wh me. I don’t want anythg to do wh him. I don’t want him my life, even a urtroom. I kept imagg, perhaps too cematilly, that he’d toss off some hntg quip as he was hled away. I won’t let him. I won’t even let him have a name now. He’s a namels mon who has taken so much that I don’t want to give him even the possibily of takg more.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Beg asslted changed sex for me. The total absence of timacy durg that horrible weekend rtored my need for . In the world of hook-up apps, where you n know the size of a paramour’s penis before you know his name — if you ever learn his name — sex be worse than sual, worse than rnal; be transactnal. Usg Grdr and s ilk, men orr guys over to their apartments as if they were specialty pizzas.</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">Afterward, the 30-day anti-HIV dg regimen weirdly helped thgs. I was certaly not about to be sexually active that time. It enabled a kd of monasticism. My new le beme that I didn’t want to have sex wh anyone I wouldn’t brg to a dner party. I recently spent an eveng wh a guy that peaked wh hand-holdg. (It was everythg The Beatl promised and more.)</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">So much — too much — of our llective gay story is about sadns and spair and downfall. “Gvanni’s Room.” “Dancer From The Dance.” “The Normal Heart.” “Angels Ameri.” “My Own Private Idaho.” “Philalphia.” “Brokeback Mounta.” “Milk.” “Weekend.” When the two hot teenage boys “Y Tu Mamá También” hook up, stroys their iendship. Even “Will & Grace” end wh the lifelong iendship s of . It’s an unspoken tra-off: gays n be pop culture as long as they’re vacuo or miserable or both, as if we’re born wh the gene for sad endgs (#getsbter).</p></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb dn db-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-sktop"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-none pt-lg pb-lg" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"><div>Advertisement</div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><div class="cb db dn-ns" data-qa="article-body-ad" data-ttid="article-body-ad-mobile"><div aria-hidn="te" class="hi-for-prt relative flex jtify-center ntent-box ems-center b bh mb-md mt-sm pt-sm pb-sm" style="m-height:250px;borr-top-lor:;borr-bottom-lor:"><div class="center absolute w-100 borr-box" style="top:"><div class="dib gray-dark pl-xs pr-xs font-sans-serif light font-xxxxs lh-md" style="--primary-borr-lor:"></div></div><div data-ttid="placeholr-box" class="w-100 h-100 absolute flex flex-lumn jtify-center borr-box bg-offwhe" style="width:300px;height:250px"><div class="flex flex-lumn jtify-center font-sans-serif center font-xxs light gray-dark lh-md"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="article-body" data-qa="article-body"><p data-ttid="drop-p-letter" data-el="text" class="wpds-c-cYdRxM wpds-c-cYdRxM-iPJLV-css overriStyl font-py" dir="null">I n’t offer a happy endg here. I don’t want the sort of closure that turns cints like this to a neat three-act “Law & Orr” episo. I’ve cid stead — and wrg this is the first step — that the rultg self-awarens, and hopefully, beyond me, a ter social awarens of rape, is a sufficient da. It would be pretty ironic for me to force my takeaway upon anyone else, but the year sce my trma, I’ve redited myself to kdns and hope and timacy, which has ma me feel fortable enough to realize that my story n serve a purpose, too. That, I pray, n at least be an everlastg happy begng.</p></div><div class="wpds-c-ipATMk wpds-c-ipATMk-hCiGAB-removeMobileStyl-te"><div class="wpds-c-dhzjXW wpds-c-dhzjXW-iPJLV-css overriStyl"><div id="gift-share-end" data-ttid="gift-share-end" class="PJLV PJLV-idiqKOk-css hi-for-prt"><button aria-haspopup="dialog" aria-expand="false" aria-ntrols="gift-share-drawer" role="button" tabx="0" aria-label="Share this article" id="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" data-ttid="gift-share-drawer-ntrol-end" class="wpds-c-PJLV wpds-c-gsmDXe wpds-c-gsmDXe-iIVoLq-placement-Shortcut foc-highlight"><div class="wpds-c-UazGY" id="gift-share-shortcut" data-ttid="gift-share-shortcut"><svg xmlns=" fill="var(--wpds-lors-primary)" viewBox="0 0 16 16" aria-hidn="te" focable="false" role="img" class="wpds-c-fVfumU "><path fill="currentColor" d="M8 .6v3.8h.1c-4.4 0-7.3 4.5-6.9 8.8.1.8.2 1.2.2 1.2l.2 1 .4-1.3c.8-2 2-4 6.2-3.9H8v4l7-6.9L8 .6Zm1 11.3V9.3h-.9c-3 0-4.8.5-6.2 2.9.5-3.3 2.7-6.8 6.2-6.8H9V3l4.5 4.4L9 11.9Z"></path></svg><div class="PJLV wpds-c-kwcHlj">Share</div></div></button></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><div class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css"><div></div></div><sectn class="PJLV PJLV-iipsdti-css dn-ns hi-for-prt" data-ttid="mostRead" subscriptns-sectn="ntent"><div data-ttid="lazy-most-read-parent" class=""><div style="m-height:800px"></div></div></sectn><div class="PJLV PJLV-ickXkbz-css"><div data-qa="newsletter" class="hi-for-prt relative"><div class="dib w-100"><div><div class="flex jtify-center align self-center center transn-all duratn-400 ease--out" data-qa="sc-newsletter-signup" aria-label=""><svg aria-labelledby="react-aria-1-aria" role="img" viewBox="0 0 100 80"><tle id="react-aria-1-aria">Loadg... .

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