For Father's Day, NPR spoke to three, gay sgle fathers who ma the choice to bee parents via surrogacy.
Contents:
- TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD
- THE CHALLENG OF BEG A GAY STAY-AT-HOME DAD
- SGLE GAY DADS GIVE TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME PARENTS: ‘I CREATED THE VILLAGE AROUND MYSELF’
- GAY-AT-HOME DAD
- THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
TOUCHG VIO SHOWS SON E OUT AS GAY TO MORMON DAD
Emergg populatn of gay men are not only raisg children but also mted to ia that one parent should leave workplace to do ; cens returns of same-sex upl wh children, randomly picked, show 26 percent of male upl clu stay-at-home parent; figure is one percentage pot more than for married upl wh children and four percentage pots higher than for female upl; percentage of men who stay at home is signifintly smaller among married heterosexual upl; some gay men are pursug parenthood wh fervor, havg faced obstacl of fdg surrogate mothers and of discrimatory adoptn laws that favor heterosexual upl; photos (M) * gay at home dad *
Adam* said was dangero to e out as gay his home untry and feared beg forced to an arranged marriage wh a said he was "so lucky" to wed his soulmate, Ray, Manchter and wish everyone uld marry who they love. There are more than 60 untri wh laws that crimalise same-sex sexual acts acrdg to the Internatnal Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Associatn, cludg Sdi Arabia. 'Authentilly myself'Ray said he had also stggled growg up gay the 1970s and 80s England, which was "tough" said his relig school "dmmed to you, 'you are gog to hell'" Adam returned home to Sdi Arabia, spe beg more than 3, 000 apart and later rtricted by the Covid-19 panmic, they kept touch daily and the romance years ago, Ray proposed on a vio ll and after succsfully applyg for a UK fiancé visa, Adam moved to Manchter December 2022.
Adam said he had been aaid to even wear lours his home untry so the first thg he did when he moved was start to "grow my mullet, got my ears pierced and booked appotments for tattoos" relled how, ntrast, one of his gay iends Sdi had been forced to marry a woman, addg: "It has ed not only his life but the life of his wife. The uple, who live London, said a "really betiful memory" was on the way home when one of their sons shouted out of the black b wdow to Trafalgar Square, "My dads jt got married" and cheered "Yay, gay marriage". Caregivers and breadwners is the right ame of reference for thkg about work-fay issu as a whole, as tak acunt of both straight and gay men and women a wi variety of rol.
It is easier for a woman to be mascule than for a man to be feme, the gay rights movement notwhstandg. Help, I thk my child may be gay.
THE CHALLENG OF BEG A GAY STAY-AT-HOME DAD
LUCIE - Comg out as gay is hard, but g out as gay to your Mormon dad is really Swk was preparg to go on his first missn trip wh the Church of J Christ of Latter-day Sats when he cid to reveal the news that he was gay to his dad, Vghn Swk. He cid to vio rerd his g out to his dad, and posted the reactn the vio above to see how Swk’s dad reacted to him g out as gay.
I had asked him about how he parents and whether he thought his style was more ak to a stereotypil mother or two of were stg at a fé our neighborhood San Francis, briefg after our stts as stay-at-home gay dads. We were talkg about whether we, as gay men and as parents, intified more wh our male or female straight unterparts. As parents, we gay men have eply different experienc.
SGLE GAY DADS GIVE TIPS FOR FIRST-TIME PARENTS: ‘I CREATED THE VILLAGE AROUND MYSELF’
My path to parenthood was liberate and I knew gog to that my choice to have a child would dislote me om the mastream gay muny.
I was a b adrift but knew that beg a morn parent - gay or straight - meant class and activi. Parenthood is hard and beg a gay dad is pecially hard: there are so few of and we have very few peers or role might thk a gay stay-at-home Dad San Francis would be surround by others siar suatns - I did. But more often that not I was remd of how rare a speci I was - oftentim I was the only gay dad anywhere.
And they were not my lovely hband, eager to help me, joed me my hunt for other gay dads. My hband and I ll "the new gay cisg. I eventually found a few stay-at-home gay dads and they provid me the space to dish about everythg om cute dads to dirty sandbox.
GAY-AT-HOME DAD
I looked for every opportuny to fd other gay stay-at-home dads. For a send I hoped that they were gay, that we would bond over our suatn. The men started talkg about "mommy" and the moment h me: Beg a gay stay-at-home dad was like beg gay the 1990s - accepted but also a novelty.
So now that I was a stay-at-home dad, I cid to recle to the role of "gay bt iend" I played so many tim the past.
And I wanted to grow, ph myself and expand what means to be a morn gay the begng of my time as a stay-at-home Dad, I was angry that such an amazg journey as parenthood uld make me feel so isolated.
THREE SGLE, GAY DADS REFLECT ON FATHERHOOD, SURROGACY JOURNEYS
However, by the end of my 15 months, I realized what an amazg opportuny my hband and I have to create a new ponent to the gay inty. We were gay dads - not straight dads, not straight moms. It's fely a more nventnal inty than what's typilly associated wh the gay liftyle.