What to Do When Your Child Says: "I'm Gay" | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY
• I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
• FROM ‘GLAD TO BE GAY’ TO ‘SAD TO BE GAY’
• SAD TO BE GAY
• SAD GAY QUOT & SAYGS
• MY "SAD GAY STORY"-- AND WHY I TELL IT
• SAD TO BE GAY
• WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
• I HATE BEG GAY SO MUCH

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU'RE GAY AND LONELY

Part of realizg you're gay, or bi, or trans, or non-bary, or anythg other than cisgenr and heterosexual is acceptg you’re different—and somewhat separated—om the majory. At the time, there were no real gay role mols except for Graham Norton and Jack om Dawson's Creek—and I certaly didn't intify wh him bee I wasn't a football player.

I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?

If you’re lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or queer(LGBTQ) or are explorg your sexual orientatn or genr inty, and you stggle wh anxiety or prsn, let’s start by puttg thgs to ntext. All of , whether gay, straight, cisgenr, or not — or somewhere between — are more than a nstellatn of the difficulti that we’ve had to face.

FROM ‘GLAD TO BE GAY’ TO ‘SAD TO BE GAY’

NHS England claims the new stctns are necsary bee lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr (LGBT) people are apparently ‘disproportnately affected’ by health equali such as poor mental health, and are at a higher risk of self-harm and suici. The ma argument seems to be that gay people, particularly a homophobic society, are more vulnerable to mental-health problems and therefore need specific attentn.

SAD TO BE GAY

What’s more, earlier generatns of gay activists rebelled agast the notn that they were mentally ill, and rejected the pathologisatn of homosexual sire. In 1972, the veteran gay-rights activist Peter Tatchell – at the time a leadg member of the Gay Liberatn Front – was physilly asslted and ejected om a talk given by the psychologist Hans Eysenck.

Such mpaigns, alongsi changg social norms, fluenced the cisn by the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn to remove homosexualy om the 1974 edn of s Diagnostic and Statistil Manual.

But today’s emphasis on mental vulnerabily is not only ditive of the changg form of polil mpaigng, also risks re-medilisg homosexualy as somethg that requir monorg by doctors and social workers – albe a more palatable, pro-LGBT form.

SAD GAY QUOT & SAYGS

Documentary followg David Aksanya as he attends a ntroversial treatment center Ameri that promis 'eedom om homosexualy through the power of J Christ'.

MY "SAD GAY STORY"-- AND WHY I TELL IT

He probably is gay, but if he was nfed by an attractn to women (rather than jt a sire for change), s sad that he never nsired the possibily of beg bisexual. Cast & crewTV Movie200550mDocumentary followg David Aksanya as he attends a ntroversial treatment center Ameri that promis 'eedom om homosexualy through the power of J Christ'.

Read allDocumentary followg David Aksanya as he attends a ntroversial treatment center Ameri that promis 'eedom om homosexualy through the power of J Christ'. High school iends who had e out to her as gay didn’t believe her when she told them that she was bisexual, cg her past relatnships wh men.

SAD TO BE GAY

She felt like her queerns alienated her om her straight iends, and her relatnships wh men prevented her om fully relatg to her gay iends. A 2017 review of 52 studi, for stance, found that when pared wh heterosexual people, bisexual people had higher rat of prsn and anxiety, and higher or equivalent rat of those ndns when pared wh those who intified as gay. People unr 25, nclud somethg siar among Ameri’s youth: Bisexual high school stunts reported more feelgs of sadns and hopelsns and more thoughts of suici than those who intified as heterosexual or ’s also some evince that bisexual people fared worse than their heterosexual and gay unterparts durg the panmic, cludg greater strs, lonels, psychologil distrs and fatigue; and poorer mental and physil health than those intifyg as straight or dispary is often a rult of the prejudic bisexual people face, Dr.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"

The study found that much of this discrimatn often om gay and lbian people, followed by fay members and straight people; and n directly impact bisexual people’s mental health, cludg ntributg to prsn, strs and exacerbated or triggered anxiety (cludg panic attacks and post-trmatic strs disorr).

She said she was never ashamed of her sexualy until her 20s, when both gay and straight iends and fay started tellg her they didn’t believe she was really attracted to women, and that she was gog through a phase. LOG IN WITH FACEBOOKHome›Polics and Activism›My "Sad Gay Story"-- And Why I Tell It›The text of this op-ed was origally given as a speech to Unterweg’s Cafe English Tübgen, Germany on June 8, 2016.

I HATE BEG GAY SO MUCH

If you’ve seen "Wt Si Story, " you probably know about the much giggled-at le om Maria’s song “I Feel Pretty” where she sgs: “I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and wty and gay! This was the first time I remember hearg the word homosexual my life, and though I had no clue what meant, I uld feel the nnotatn held among my me tell another story: I have one younger brother, and he’s always been a b of a joker.

I was aware of their attus towards gay people and gay rights, and I genuely felt that they would hate me if I told them I wasn’t straight. Even though I was fortunate enough to know a lot of kd and lovg people growg up, much of the culture of people my age was still walkg around the school hallways sayg, “that’s so gay! Thgs like this were so pervasive while I was growg up, and even though I didn’t grow up the ep south or among a particularly relig or tensely nservative environment, homophobia of this nature still ran rampant, and was very much a part of how I saw gay people picted and heard gay people talked about my this pot, you’re probably wonrg what the pot of the stori are.

The story of beg gay the US tends to go like this: om a young age you realize you feel different om other kids, then you realize you’re gay, maybe through reprsed romantic and/or sexual feelgs for a same-sex iend, then you hate yourself for a while, then you e out dramatilly to everyone your life at once, and some people are supportive and is touchg and tears are shed, but some people are not and they cut you out of their liv while yellg about how you’re a sner or a pervert or will never give them grandchildren, then you are prsed, then you try to kill yourself, and fally you reach some dramatic turng pot where you learn to pletely accept and unrstand yourself and your sexualy and then you ri off to the sunset wh your same-sex partner and adopted children. Gay marriage is beg legalized around the world, adoptn rights for same-sex upl are progrsg, and more and more people are embolned to e out and live as their te selv.

Children today are more able to see gay people film and on TV, and acts of vlent homophobia are beg more and more nmned by the mastream public.