When gay teens e out to their parents, ’s an experience often rife wh emotn and ndor that n’t help but change the kid–parent experts say that procsg a child’s proclamatn of their sexualy is only the begng of the journey for moms and dads. And while there are an creasg number of fai who embrace their child’s homosexualy and are supportive,
Contents:
- 10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS
- HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
- PARENTG A GAY CHILD
- WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
- COMG OUT: A PARENTS GUI TO SUPPORTG YOUR GAY TEEN
- PARENTG GAY TEENS: THE BOOK THAT ALL PARENTS NEED TO READ
- “MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
- SO YOU SUPPORT YOUR GAY TEEN, GREAT: YOU STILL HAVE TO PARENT THEM
- LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
- MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
10 TIPS FOR PARENTS OF GAY KIDS
When a child first out as eher beg gay or havg same-sex attractn their parents' ial rpons are ually the wrong on, says Chris Doyle, a psychotherapist who specializ SSA. * parenting a gay teenage daughter *
"Maybe you always had an klg that your kid was gay or transgenr, maybe you noticed your kid's affectn for a certa someone before they even regnized what those feelgs were, or you noticed certa role mols that they chose and ma some assumptns about what that meant about their inty... They believe that if you experience same-sex attractns, then you're gay, " Doyle told the negative rpons parents have, acrdg to Doyle, are avoidg the issue by barrg their child om talkg about SSA or their gay inty; believg that 's a passg phase; or threateng to kick their olr teen or 20-somethg child out of the hoe.
"We know, our clil rearch over the last 25 years, that fay culture, environment and other non-blogil factors play a signifint role the velopment of same-sex attractn, " he asserted, addg that parents shouldn't seek therapy as an attempt to change their the book, Gay Children, Straight Parents: A Plan for Fay Healg, wrten by Richard Cohen, executive director of IHF, Doyle said 12 prcipl are discsed to help fai navigate through SSA and s .
HOW CHRISTIAN PARENTS SHOULD RPOND TO THEIR CHILD'S GAY INTY CRISIS
"Mom, Dad, I'm gay!" Your brave, wonrful, betiful child has spoken the words out loud that somewhere the back of your md you already spected. This moment of honty is the begng of a journey that n be challengg for both you and your child. * parenting a gay teenage daughter *
"Regardg sleepovers and big life events such as parents' attendg a child's same-sex weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that parents treat their homosexual child the same as they would their heterosexual the se of sleepovers, parents should mata the same standards for every child and not allow their gay intified or SSA child to have somone they're attracted to spend the night wh them. "The same l should apply to heterosexual upl and homosexual upl, " he when down to attendg a child's gay weddg ceremony, Doyle suggted that attendg the ceremony don't necsarily reflect that the parents agree wh same-sex marriage, their prence merely shows their love for their child. Well, my study of 65 fai of gay and lbian youth for the book, Comg Out, Comg Home: Helpg Fai Adjt to a Gay or Lbian Child, I found that some parents get to the pot where they believe that the experience of havg a gay child actually ma them a better person—more open-md and sensive to the needs of others, particularly those other mory groups.
PARENTG A GAY CHILD
Life for gay teens has changed, but advice books for parents have lagged behd – until now. Zoe Schlanger meets the thors of a manual that even 'ol' parents should read * parenting a gay teenage daughter *
Krist Rso, left, and Dannielle Owens-ReidThis Is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids is for parents who want to be acceptg, but "maybe they aren't right now and maybe they're really unfortable, and maybe they thk their kid is gog to hell", Owens-Reid says.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS: "I'M GAY"
Read “Mom, Dad… I’m Gay.” A Christian Parent’s Rponse by David Murray and more articl about Christian Life and Wiki on * parenting a gay teenage daughter *
" Other qutns illumate darker worri: there's the ller who is worried she might be gog to hell for beg gay, or the guy who isn't sure how to e out, bee his sister already me out as gay and their parents turned out not to be when the advice gets ser – when addrsg qutns about homophobic parents, for example – there is still humour.
COMG OUT: A PARENTS GUI TO SUPPORTG YOUR GAY TEEN
* parenting a gay teenage daughter *
Rather I’d want him to see himself as creature ma God’s image, a man wh many parts to his inty, a person wh many gifts, a son wh a diverse character and personaly, one part of which, at least for the moment, is to have a homosexual sir. When gay teens e out to their parents, ’s an experience often rife wh emotn and ndor that n’t help but change the kid–parent experts say that procsg a child’s proclamatn of their sexualy is only the begng of the journey for moms and dads.
PARENTG GAY TEENS: THE BOOK THAT ALL PARENTS NEED TO READ
Inclus a summary of rearch fdgs on lbian mothers, gay fathers and their children, an annotated biblgraphy of the published psychologil lerature and addnal rourc relevant to lbian and gay parentg. * parenting a gay teenage daughter *
And while there are an creasg number of fai who embrace their child’s homosexualy and are supportive, lovg, and even unfazed by the revelatn, ’s a turn of the ti that leav some ncerned about whether or not there is an unrstandg of the nuanc of parentg a gay teen.
“The problem for most gay kids is that they n lose their parents whether their parents are hateful or supportive, ” says Dan Savage, thor, sex lumnist and creator of the “It Gets Better Project, ” which helps gay teens rever om bullyg. ”Savage, who has a son wh his gay partner, says that he equently hears stori about parents who are aaid to tell their gay son that they don’t approve of his boyiend for fear of soundg tolerant or who help their gay teen sneak to gay bars by securg them a fake ID — a double standard that he fds tratg. Unlike heterosexual parents and their children, however, lbian and gay parents and their children are often subject to prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn that n turn judg, legislators, profsnals, and the public agast them, sometim rultg negative out, such as loss of physil ctody, rtrictns on visatn, and prohibns agast adoptn (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Appell, 2003; Patterson, Fulcher, & Waright, 2002).
As this summary will show, the rults of existg rearch parg lbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents and children of lbian and gay parents to children of heterosexual parents are que clear: Common stereotyp are not supported by the data. The relevance of this cricism has been greatly rced as rearch has expand to explore life a wir array of lbian mother and gay father fai (many of which have never lived through the divorce of a heterosexual uple), and as newer studi beg to clu a wir array of ntrol groups. Other cricisms have been that most studi have been based on relatively small sampl, that there have been difficulti wh asssment procr employed some studi, and that the classifitn of parents as lbian, gay, or heterosexual has been problematic.
“MOM, DAD… I’M GAY.” A CHRISTIAN PARENT’S RPONSE
An expert readg of the Sarantakos article reveals that certa characteristics of s methodology and sample are highly likely to have skewed the rults and renred them an valid ditor of the well-beg of children raised by gay and lbian parents at least three rpects:.
SO YOU SUPPORT YOUR GAY TEEN, GREAT: YOU STILL HAVE TO PARENT THEM
The children raised by gay and lbian parents experienced unually high levels of extreme social ostracism and overt hostily om other children and parents, which probably acunted for the former's lower levels of teractn and social tegratn wh peers (see pp. Some nonscientific anizatns have attempted to nvce urts that there is an actual scientific dispute this area by cg rearch performed by Pl Cameron as supportg the existence of fics gay and lbian parents or their children pared to heterosexual parents or their children.
Three ncerns have historilly been associated wh judicial cisn makg ctody ligatn and public polici erng foster re and adoptn: the belief that lbians and gay men are mentally ill, that lbians are ls maternal than heterosexual women, and that lbians' and gay men's relatnships wh sexual partners leave ltle time for ongog parent-child teractns (ACLU Lbian and Gay Rights Project, 2002; Falk, 1989, 1994; Patterson et al., 2002; Patterson & Reddg, 1996). Many years ago, the Amerin Psychiatric Associatn removed "homosexualy" om s list of mental disorrs, statg that "homosexualy per se impli no impairment judgment, stabily, reliabily, or general social or votnal pabili" (Amerin Psychiatric Associatn, 1974).
The cisn to remove homosexual orientatn om the list of mental disorrs reflects extensive rearch nducted over three s showg that homosexual orientatn is not a psychologil maladjtment (Gonsrek, 1991; Hart, Roback, Ttler, Wez, Walston, & McKee, 1978; Reiss, 1980).
LBIAN AND GAY PARENTG
There is no reliable evince that homosexual orientatn per se impairs psychologil functng, although the social and other circumstanc which lbians and gay men live, cludg exposure to wispread prejudice and discrimatn, often e acute distrs (Cochran, 2001; Freedman, 1971; Gonsrek, 1991; Hart et al., 1978; Hooker, 1957; Meyer, 2003; Reiss, 1980). Beliefs that lbian and gay adults are not f parents likewise have no empiril foundatn (Anrssen, Amlie, & Ytteroy, 2002; Brewaeys & van Hall, 1997; Parks, 1998; Patterson, 2000; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Perr, 2002; Stacey & Biblarz, 2001; Tasker, 1999; Victor & Fish, 1995).
MANY PARENTS STGGLE TO ADJT AFTER LEARNG CHILD IS GAY, STUDY FDS
A recent study of 256 lbian and gay parent fai found that, ntrast to patterns characterizg the majory of Amerin parents, very few lbian and gay parents reported any e of physil punishment (such as spankg) as a disciplary technique; stead, they were likely to report e of posive techniqu such as reasong (Johnson & O'Connor, 2002). Certaly, rearch has found no reasons to believe lbian mothers or gay fathers to be unf parents (Armto, 2002; Barret & Robson, 1990; Bigner & Bozett, 1990; Bigner & Jabsen, 1989a, 1989b; Bos et al., 2003, 2004; Bozett, 1980, 1989; Patterson, 1997; Patterson & Chan, 1996; Sbordone, 1993; Tasker & Golombok, 1997; Victor & Fish, 1995; Wton, 1991).