Why Straight Women Are Attracted to Gay Men | Psychology Today New Zealand

Contents:

• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN
• WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?
• WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS
• WHY ARE SO MANY WOMEN WATCHG MALE GAY PORN?
• WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?
• WHY DO GAYS LOVE THE GOLN GIRLS?
• WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN ARE OFTEN SO CLOSE
• I’M THAT GAY GUY WH ALL FEMALE IENDS
• STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO GAY MEN

Sure, an ocsnal teenage girl falls for a boy who's gay, but don't take most girls very long to figure out that, this se, where there's smoke, there's most fely not fire. In general, the attractn women feel for gay men tends to be emotnal nature, clearg the way for a highly satisfyg relatnship that outlasts most other relatnships gay men and straight women have. Send, straight women love gay men bee closens wh gay men provis a wdow to how the mds of men work, somethg that women want to know as they navigate datg waters wh their straight male peers.

Though there are, of urse, differenc between straight and gay men, gay men are neverthels men who share many characteristics and motivatns wh straight men. When to the sexualy of young straight and gay men—meang, how equently they thk about sex, want , or feel impatient to get to the actual sex part—there are undoubtedly siari. In general, gay men, and gay women, too, tend to be more fearls than their straight unterparts—particularly straight men—bee they’ve ually experienced bullyg and prejudice bee of their sexual orientatn.

Meanwhile, gay men have the social license to be as outrageo or emotnal as they want to be bee gay men don't have to f to such a tightly prcribed role. Instead, they feel more fortable removg the sexual factor that exists at straight bars and prefer the harmlsns that wh socializg wh gay men gay surroundgs. If straight women and gay men foc on fdg iendships where there's te emotnal patibily and rpect, they n velop one of the most rewardg relatnships a person uld have.

WHY DO WOMEN PREFER GAY MEN AS FRIENDS?

Consequently, rearchers at the Universy of Texas explored an alternate potential explanatn: Straight women may velop iendships wh gay men more easily than they do wh straight men, bee when teractg wh gay men, the necsy of worryg about whether the potential iend will seek to ga sexual accs to them has been removed om the equatn3. Participants aga dited how fortable they thought they would be while ntug to teract wh the man after learng of his sexual inty (eher gay or straight). As the rearchers had predicted, the rults monstrated that women anticipate beg more fortable teractg wh gay men vers straight men, largely due to the removal of ncerns related to the man’s sexual tentns.

Women reported feelg more fortable when they found out that their hypothetil male nversatn partner was gay, rather than straight, and this associatn was explaed by their rced anxiety about the man’s sexual tentns.

However, the effects changed based on a woman’s level of perceived attractivens, such that only women who rated themselv as beg more attractive reported creased fort while teractg wh a gay man. In particular, appears that anxiety and ncern over a straight man’s sexual tentns serve as a barrier that slows the pace of timate iendship velopment between straight men and women, while the removal of this anxiety pav the way for women to quickly velop tstg and timate iendships wh gay men.

WHAT'S THE SCIENCE BEHD STRAIGHT WOMEN LIKG GAY MEN?

If he is gay, the iendship will velop more quickly and be facilated by the woman’s rced anxiety over his potential sexual tert, and she may engage more openly and timately. Books, televisn shows and feature-length films have all highlighted this unique relatnship, noted for s closens and wh society's attus toward gays and lbians changg, 's bee all the more important to build a holistic unrstandg of the relatnships between gay and straight a rearcher social psychology, I've often wonred: Why do straight female-gay male relatnships work so well?

Bee gay men don't mate wh women—or pete wh them for mat—women feel a certa level of fort wh gay men, and the procs of formg a close iendship n occur relatively heterosexual men (who, by fn, are sexually attracted to women), the procs is longer—and potentially more ght—bee men may be grapplg wh their own sexual other words, bee gay men are attracted to their own genr, they're a "safe bet" for women—at least, om a socblogil three years ago, I ially tted this theory a seri of experiments that have served as the foundatn of my rearch program on gay-straight the experiments, straight female participants were shown fict Facebook profil pictg eher a straight woman, straight man or gay man. I also reced gay male participants, and had them plete the same task (wh the gay men viewg Facebook profil pictg a straight female, gay male or lbian female) experiments, published the journal Evolutnary Psychology, monstrated that straight women and gay men perceived one another to be tstworthy sourc of relatnship and datg advice. Crackg the why and whenRecently, my lleagu and I at the Universy of Texas at Arlgton veloped a seri of four related tled the four studi "Why (and When) Straight Women Tst Gay Men: Ulterr Matg Motiv and Female Competn, " wh the hope of better tablishg why straight women tst gay men and when straight women would be most likely to seek out gay men for iendship and the first study, I wanted to replite the fdg that women tst gay men more than straight men or straight women.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN MAKE THE BT OF FRIENDS

This time, however, I wanted to see if women would only tst gay men's datg-related advice as opposed to other typ of turns out straight women only tsted a gay man's advice about a potential boyiend more than the same advice om, say, a straight man or another straight woman. It really only had to do wh one thg: datg and further exame why this might be the se, we had women image receivg rmatn om eher a straight woman, straight man, or a gay man about their physil appearance and the dateabily of potential boyiends.

We then asked the women how scere they felt the rpons expected, the female subjects seemed to perceive the judgments g om the gay man to be more scere bee they knew that he wouldn't have any ulterr motiv—whether that meant woog the subject (which they might spect of straight men) or petg for the same romantic partner (straight women) the fal two studi, we wanted to figure out when women were most likely to beiend and place their tst gay men.

WHY ARE SO MANY WOMEN WATCHG MALE GAY PORN?

We predicted that this would most often occur highly petive datg environments, where a tstworthy source like a gay iend would be valued by women jockeyg wh one another for a tt this, we created a fake news article that tailed extremely skewed sex rats, ditg that women llege were petg over a very small pool of men. We had women read this news article and then dite how much they would tst a straight woman or a gay man var datg-related women read the news article about the creased petn, their tst gay men was amplified. Not only were women more apt to tst gay men unr this ndn, but we also found that they beme more willg to make gay male datg adviceThe downsi is that if a straight woman valu her gay male iends only for datg advice, the relatnship uld bee que superficial (see Chris Rtta's say "I'm Gay, Not Your Accsory").

WHY ARE SO MANY GAY ROMANCE NOVELS WRTEN BY STRAIGHT WOMEN?

However, the strong tst that women ially form wh gay men n serve as a primer; eventually, this tst uld extend to other areas, wh the iendship blossomg over fdgs—bed wh our own—show that there seems to be an extremely strong psychologil unrpng for why women are so drawn to gay stance, a recent study the Journal of Bs and Psychology revealed that straight women tend to hire gay men over other heterosexual dividuals bee they perceive gay men to be more petent and warmer. Furthermore, marketg rearchers have suggted that straight women prefer to work wh gay male sal associat over others nsumer retail two fdgs alone uld have many posive implitns for gay men the workplace. Although much of this rearch foc on why women are drawn to iendships wh gay men, another obv avenue of exploratn is whether or not gay men are siarly keen to form iendships wh straight women.

For example, a study I nducted 2013, I found that gay men also look to women for tstworthy datg advice or tips for fdg a prospective rearchers have suggted that gay men value the posive attus towards homosexualy that women tend to have (relative to straight men) this se, the implic tst seems to be a two-way Rsell is a Ph. The thors suggt the possibily that gay men may pete for mat the same way that straight women do wh each other, though they note remas to be studied. In orr to vtigate whether straight women and gay men see each other as the most tstworthy advisers on matters of the heart, the thors vised a clever puter task.

Naturally, the straight female target profile picture was different than that of gay and straight mal (the same was ed for both); sexual preference was tailored acrdgly.

WHY DO GAYS LOVE THE GOLN GIRLS?

Straight women perceived the romantic advice of gay men to be signifintly more tstworthy than that of straight men and women, who were equally ls helpful. If you're the mood for a lighthearted take on the specialns of the straight woman-gay man iendship, the song “Gay Bt Friend” ptur hilar fashn. It sounds rather homosexually cliché, I know, but my partner, Juan, and I have gotten to the hab of watchg an episo of The Goln Girls every night before bed.

I knew she’d been an outspoken advote of gays and lbians, as well as animals, but I didn’t realize that her support for the former went all the way back to 1971. Jt a few short years after the Stonewall Rts, she -starred a movie set a Greenwich gay bar lled Some of My Bt Friends Are … as a “vic fag hag".

” So I was cur to learn more about the unflatterg stereotyp lyg at the etymologil root of this moniker, which scrib straight women who tend to gravate toward gay men.

WHY STRAIGHT WOMEN AND GAY MEN ARE OFTEN SO CLOSE

There are plenty of other lorful exprsns that pture this distct mographic rather vividly, some ls sultgly so than others, cludg:• F fly• Queen bee• Queer ar• Fairy godmother• Fag shagger• Queen mag• Hag along• Swish dish• Faggota • Homo honey• Fairy llector• Fairy prcs• Fag But ’s “fag hag” that ronat the public nscns. The rearchers note that both popular media and everyday exprsn, the term njur up the image of an unattractive, overweight, sperate woman who seeks out the pany of gay men to pensate for her lack of romantic attentn om straight guys. ” The French refer to such women as sorett (“Ltle Sisters”), the German brand them as Schwulen-Muttis (“Gay Moms”), and the Mexins know them as joteras (“jota” is monly ed for “fag”).

” Acrdg to the vtigators, the “hag” ponent is sentially the mon belief that the women “do not feel good about their bodi, and as a rult, take refuge the ‘gay world’ to avoid the harsher judgment and emphasis on female physil attractivens herent the heterosexual social scene. She’s also apparently never heard of blogist John Maynard Smh’s “sneaky f*cker” evolutnary hypothis for male homosexualy, which poss that gay men the anctral past had unique accs to the reproductive niche bee femal let their guards down around them and other mal didn't view them as sexual petors.

Also, on a sle of 1 (not that close) to 5 (extremely close) they were asked to rate their gree of “closens” wh their clost gay male, straight male and female iend.

I’M THAT GAY GUY WH ALL FEMALE IENDS

If this were te, the thors reason, then there should be a meangful statistil associatn between a woman’s number of gay male iends and her body teem and relatnship succs— other words, the more pathetic a woman’s romantic life and the more she se herself as beg unsirable to straight men, the more she should seek out gay men as iends. In fact, wh this sample at least, there was absolutely no lk between a woman’s relatnship stat, the number of tim she’d been on the receivg end of a breakup, or her body teem and the number of gay male iends her life.

On the other hand, tertgly enough, the longer that a woman has been iends wh her clost gay male iend, the lower her perceived sexual attractivens. On terpretg this unexpected fdg, the thors suggt that this may actually reflect some re, but nuanced tth of the “fag hag” stereotype: “Perhaps women who perceive themselv as ls sexually attractive velop closer relatnships wh gay men.

STRAIGHT WOMEN AND THEIR GAY HBANDS

"Male gays the female gaze: Women who watch m/m pornography, " by rearcher Lucy Neville, drew rearch om a recent survey om adult film se PornHub.