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class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU cjxQUZ bric__lk" href="/culture/entertament"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Entertament</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">How Alice 'The L Word' Affirmed My Inty as a Bisexual Woman</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">Alice Pizecki ma me feel seen.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/melissa-a-fabello">Melissa A. Fabello</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2017-07-17T14:22:39-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">July 17, 2017</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The L Word's Alice Pizecki" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred"><em>The L Word</em>'s Alice Pizecki. Courty of Showtime</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p><em>This article ntas spoilers for</em> The L Word.</p><p>“Here,” I said, ploppg my laptop down ont of my <a href=">then-girliend</a>. “Take this quiz.”</p><p>She looked at the screen—“Which Character From <em>The L Word</em> Are You?”—and then back at me. “Why?”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="stldjd"></div></div><p>“Bee I thk we should watch this show.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>She blked.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“And I thought would be more fun if we knew which characters we might relate to the most om the begng,” I said. Duh.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>It was fall 2009. <em>The L Word</em>, which had premiered on Showtime 2004, had already n s urse, endg sprg 2009 after six seasons. Neher my girliend nor I had ever seen an episo. But sudnly, dog so felt like a necsary re of passage.</p><p>Havg been volved <a href=">queer muni</a> sce my youth, I'd known about the show for years and had grown tired of all the referenc I didn't que get. Its heyday happened when I was llege, and if you assume I had accs to Showtime my dorm, you have another thg g. But now wh a girliend who had jt e out, had never had a relatnship wh another woman before, and was cur what lbian inty was all about, watchg <em>The L Word</em> felt like an experience we should have together.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3"><em>The L Word</em> follows a close-kn group of iends Los Angel through the trials and tribulatns of beg queer their 20s and 30s.</div><p>Though many characters e and go over s six seasons, the re group starts wh Bette (a high-powered and <a href=">high-anxiety</a> art center director), Ta (Bette's partner, who practilly has no story le not directly tied to Bette until late the show), Shane (an androgyno heartbreaker), Dana (a closeted tennis player), Alice (a quirky journalist), and Jenny (a wrer, brand new to the neighborhood).</p><p>Armed wh the quiz rults (my girliend got Shane; I got Jenny, but turns out I’m much more of a Bette), we began our foray to <em>The L Word</em>'s versn of Wt Hollywood. I was expectg, as the band Betty sgs the show's theme song, <em>talkg, lghg, lovg, breathg, fightg, fuckg, cryg, drkg</em>. The show provid all spas. (Any time I tried to sg along wh Betty's rapid-fire lyrics, I would jt start yellg verbs that didn't que jibe wh the show: <em>jumpg, screamg, nng, swimmg.</em> I assume we all did. <em>It’s the way that we live and love</em>, after all.)</p><p>What I wasn’t expectg, even queer media, was to feel seen.</p><p>I’ve known myself to be bisexual (or pansexual or queer; I’m ol wh all three labels) om the very begng. I n’t remember ever not beg attracted to people regardls of genr. I n date very specific thoughts about my ial nfn—<em>Do I like boys, or do I like girls? Can I like both? Is that a thg?</em>—as far back as third gra. A iend of me once wanted to play-kiss me, and I had a visceral negative reactn to the ia. “You want to pretend I’m a boy,” I told her, “and I jt want to be two girls.” She threw an accatn at me, claimg I was <a href=">gay</a>, a word I later had to ask my dad to fe. But no. That wasn’t . I had csh on boys, too.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ggfp85"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="54m7cv"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>It wasn’t until seventh gra that the word bisexualy ma s way to my lexin, blsg me wh the language to scribe my feelgs. We n argue agast the efulns of labels all day, but when you spend 13 years unsure of how you f to the dichotomo world around you, a label is an affirmatn that you’re not alone. Bisexualy, as a ncept, was a godsend for me.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Unfortunately, took many more years for me to work through the stigma attached to how that word leads others to perceive me. The tth is, bisexual people are stereotyped om all angl: We’re greedy, we’re cheaters, we’re sex-obssed, we’re nfed. Most people that I dated high school and llege were aaid I was passg through <a href=">a phase</a>, that I would eventually have to pick a si, and that might not be theirs.</p><p>Even when I had the language to scribe my experience, I found myself ntually the posn to fend , cludg wh the queer muny, where I was often seen as an outsir. Whout a role mol or a pop culture example to pot to, most people around me validated my inty.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3">Then me Alice Pizecki, the show's rint bisexual, who affirmed a lot of my experienc.</div><p>Well, to be precise, Alice was the show's rint bisexual until she cid to intify as a lbian. Although Alice means a lot to me, I know <em>The L Word</em> <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">screwed up wh her character</a>. I absolutely believe that sexualy is fluid (and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">experience that way myself</a>). I also believe that Alice's transn om bisexual to lbian is valid. But was a mistake for the show's productn team to take away the one proud bisexual character, pecially whout really lvg to that part of Alice's journey.</p><p>I don't remember anythg that explaed Alice's change inty. In episo 10 of season three, while she's visg Dana the hospal, Alice tells her, "You're right. Bisexualy is gross. I see now." That's the first time she says somethg related to her no longer intifyg as bisexual. There was a lot of room there to explore her romantic and sexual evolutn, but the show's creators ignored .</p><p>Even wh Alice eventually intifyg as a lbian, her start as a bisexual woman was exhilaratg for me. While other characters had sexual and romantic experienc wh people of varyg genr inti and exprsns, Alice was the only one who actually lled herself bisexual and fend herself agast stereotyp. And through her storyl, which often volved wrtlg wh blatant bisexual stigma, Alice's prence addrsed the unique stggl bisexual women face.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3">Like me, Alice was often acced of beg straight, as though she were filtratg queer spac wh her proximy to heterosexualy.</div><p>There's a <a href=">scene season two</a> when Alice, Dana, and Tonya (a sendary character) are visg a sex toy shop. Tonya wav a penis-shaped cholate lollipop at Alice, jokg aggrsively, “I gus this is a ltle more up your alley, isn’t , Alice?” Alice grabs a breast-shaped lollipop, sayg, "Actually, Tonya, this might be a ltle more up my alley." They bicker for a b, then Dana steps . It seems like she's gog to stick up for her iend. Instead, she holds both lollipops up to Alice, askg her, "Which one would you rather put your mouth on?"</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="yonoh7"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="RecircMostPopularWrapper-bRuGTi jkTTgR recirc-most-popular-wrapper viewport-monor-anchor"><div class="RecircMostPopularConter-jiViNn ktrplG recirc-most-popular-sparrow-trackg hi-asi-ad" data-most-popular-id="mod-most-popular-1023"><div class="RecircMostPopularHeadg-iVzhzt 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class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">6 Creative Ways to Use Chili Crisp to Level Up Your Everyday Meals</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="c1gyuj"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="hd6zap"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Later the show, when Alice and Dana are datg and Alice suggts the e of a strap-on durg sex, Dana meets the optn wh distst and risn. “Is a bisexual thg?" she asks. "You tryg to have your ke and eat your psy, too?”</p><p>Enunters like this are blatant attacks on Alice's bisexualy, forcg her unr a spotlight to prove her inty time and time aga. Unfortunately, this is somethg bisexual people often have to ntend wh. Seeg Alice al wh this doubt that bisexualy n actually exist—let alone be an inty worthy of embracg—echoed my own s of experience. It fally ma me feel ls alone. In a world where media almost never giv bisexual characters, Alice gave me, at least briefly, a reflectn of myself.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>When Showtime announced last Tuday that <a href="><em>The L Word</em> is gettg a reboot</a>, many thoughts flood my md: After a tumultuo relatnship, will Bette and Ta be married? Will Shane somehow make up for leavg her love, Carmen, at the altar? For Christ’s sake, will we fd out who killed Jenny? (Y, a hugely ntroversial move, the show veered to murr-mystery terrory the end.)</p><p>But mostly, I was filled wh a sense of warmth and memori of marathong the show, cuddled up wh my ex-girliend on my ty uch my first apartment, fally feelg like I belonged.</p><p><em>Melissa A. Fabello is a femist wrer and speaker who vers issu related to body polics and bety culture. She is a doctoral ndidate Winer Universy’s Human Sexualy Studi program, where her rearch looks at how women wh anorexia nervosa make meang of their experienc wh sensualy. Learn more about her work on <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">her webse</a>, and follow her on Twter and Instagram @fyeahmfabello.</em></p><p><strong>Related:</strong></p><ul><li><a href=">How I'm Teachg My 8-Year-Old Dghter About Affirmative Consent</a></li><li><a href=">I'm Proudly Bisexual—and Beg Married to a Man Don't Change That</a></li><li><a href=">I'm a Bisexual Guy and, No, It's Not Jt a Phase</a></li></ul><p><strong>You may also like: Watch This Woman Try (and Hilarly Fail) to Follow a Pro Choreographer's Dance Instctns—Whout Lookg</strong></p><figure class="CneVioEmbedFigure-kCfJjN hdJOda e-vio-embed"><div data-ttid="script-ntaer"></div></figure></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="5liqpo"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="TextBlockWrapper-bNZsMC dTomOc StyledTextblock-SJflO kHgSzz disclaimer grid-layout__ntent"><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextBlockText-gtrMkY iUEiRd Pbwma kQegaj">SELF do not provi medil advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 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who is gay on the l word

LGBTQIA+ is an abbreviatn for lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, queer or qutng, tersex, asexual, and more. The terms are ed to scribe a person’s sexual orientatn or genr inty.

Contents:

L WORD: GENERATN Q STAR JACQUELE TOBONI IS “#ENGAYGED”

#enGAYged. Some lbians may prefer to intify as gay or as gay women.

GAY.

ABOUT THE CENTERSCE 1983 THE CENTER HAS BEEN SUPPORTG, FOSTERG AND CELEBRATG THE LGBT MUNY OF NEW YORK CY. FD MORE RMATN ON AND OUR WORK ABOUT THE CENTER. VIS ABOUT THE CENTEROUR MISSNCYBER CENTERCENTER HISTORYRACE EQUYMEDIA CENTERLEARSHIP & STAFFEMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNICORPORATE PARTNERSHIPSANNUAL REPORTS & FANCIAL INFORMATNCONTACT USHOURS & LOTNSEMAPSUPPORT THE CENTER

It is important to note that the same-sex soc-sexual behavr observed the study is distct om homosexual behavr bee s motivatn and purpose are social, said Jean-Baptiste Le, who studi primate behavr at the Universy of Lethbridge Canada and was not volved the new rearch. To be classified as te homosexual behavr, the form, motivatn and functn would all have to be sexual nature, he said. Created by wrer/producer Ilene Chaiken (Barb Wire, Empire), The L Word was the early ghts’ lbnic answer to Showtime’s gay male drama, Queer as Folk.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* WHO IS GAY ON THE L WORD

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18.0069 0.949203 18.0386 1.01741 18.0386C1.24851 18.0386 1.36772 17.9194 1.468 17.8191L1.47044 17.8167L1.47048 17.8167L1.47237 17.8147C4.05847 15.0296 7.24136 12.9379 10.3286 11.4415L13.3051 11.9376L13.3049 11.9386H13.3174H13.4174C13.7605 11.9386 13.9823 11.7062 14.0886 11.3873C14.1492 11.2053 14.0859 11.0291 13.976 10.8918C13.8663 10.7546 13.7038 10.6467 13.5411 10.5925L13.5415 10.5914L13.5288 10.5895Z' fill='black' stroke='black' stroke-width='0.15'/></svg></div><a class="NavigatnInternalLk-cWEaeo knabMb navigatn__lk" href="/health" data-ttid="navigatn__ternal-lk" role="lk">Health</a></li><li class="NavigatnListItemWrapper-cxLZKD dsgTQs navigatn__list-em" data-ttid="navigatn__list-em"><div data-ttid="navigatn__nav-em-in" class="NavigatnItemIn-bpcxDt hLTmGs"><svg xmlns='' width='22' height='22' viewBox='0 0 22 22'><g fill-le='evenodd'><path d='M14.751 4.059c-1.75 0-3.203 1.309-4.016 2.242C9.922 5.368 8.47 4.06 6.72 4.06A4.726 4.726 0 0 0 2 8.779c0 1.866 6.623 8.133 8.652 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class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-hero" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-hero"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="SpaceHolr-oayp fXtswJ ad-height-hold"></div><ma id="ma-ntent" tabx="-1" class="BasePageMaContent-kFvAuh ewPCZH page__ma-ntent"><article class="article ma-ntent" lang="en-US"><div class="ArticlePageLeBackground-EufvU tFsh"><hear class="ContentHearWrapper-clujbs elpfHZ ntent-hear article__ntent-hear"><div data-ttid="ContentHearContaer" class="ContentHearContaer-cGKRbE knDxNq"><div class="ContentHearHedAccredatnWrapper-GFiQf cDNVlV"><div data-ttid="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper" class="ContentHearTleBlockWrapper-cjmSKp lkJlKO"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric" class="ContentHearRubricBlock-LmpbT dmqhlj"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubricDateBlock" class="ContentHearRubricDateBlock-kAQcZP fTFWxD"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX cJdXjE bric ContentHearRubricContaer-eTudtt iRsSlw"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU cjxQUZ bric__lk" href="/culture/entertament"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Entertament</span></a></div></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearHed-NCyCC iUEiRd bjcNOB gydgrM">How Alice 'The L Word' Affirmed My Inty as a Bisexual Woman</h1></div><div class="ContentHearAccredatn-lfctVB etVsnJ ntent-hear__accredatn" data-ttid="ContentHearAccredatn"><div class="ContentHearDek-bIqFFZ bZgCVT">Alice Pizecki ma me feel seen.</div><div class="ContentHearByle-kmPyCa emiglw"><div class="ContentHearByleContent-dpPmNn DRFq"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl ContentHearByl-cZqgyJ bHLeKI"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH gKcujo byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd fPqUbj IWACp eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/melissa-a-fabello">Melissa A. Fabello</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2017-07-17T14:22:39-04:00" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ ContentHearPublishDate-eIBicG iUEiRd danQKH MlCHH">July 17, 2017</time></div></div><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard ContentHearAccredatnSocialIns-jorO fPzfaa ntent-hear__social-share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div></div><div class="ContentHearLeadAsset-hGbumP cAlrhp lead-asset ContentHearLeadAssetWrapper-hfXHEc bjtV lead-asset--width-small" data-ttid="ContentHearLeadAsset"><figure class="ContentHearLeadAssetContent-kOfYSG dRGWbI"><div class="ContentHearLeadAssetContentMedia-bLEIpi jjhWdS lead-asset__ntent__photo"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW jvZaPI rponsive-asset ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz iqnk"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa ContentHearRponsiveAsset-bREgIb cZenhb rponsive-image"><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w, 1920w, 2240w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="The L Word's Alice Pizecki" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></picture></div></div></span><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE qDPBn ptn ContentHearLeadAssetCaptn-hPWmSN loMSDX"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd gVwuiM fNaHcW ptn__cred"><em>The L Word</em>'s Alice Pizecki. Courty of Showtime</span></div></div></figure><div data-ttid="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor" class="ContentHearLeadRailAnchor-jYVcDc djtEof"></div></div></div><asi class="PersistentAsiWrapper-VGrR oEIBz persistent-asi persistent-asi--align-left" style="posn:absolute;top:to;height:to" data-ttid="PersistentAsiWrapper"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jNgrSF sticky-box ContentHearPersistentAsi-fsnAmQ dFzKzm"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--has-background ContentHearSocialIns-jzJiyg fgMkJI social-ins--share"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"></ul></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></asi></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kJkLmH article-body__ntent"><div class="ArticlePageChunksContent-etcMtP bwyLBj"><div data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eOdfIs"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p><em>This article ntas spoilers for</em> The L Word.</p><p>“Here,” I said, ploppg my laptop down ont of my <a href=">then-girliend</a>. “Take this quiz.”</p><p>She looked at the screen—“Which Character From <em>The L Word</em> Are You?”—and then back at me. “Why?”</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="stldjd"></div></div><p>“Bee I thk we should watch this show.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>She blked.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-1 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>“And I thought would be more fun if we knew which characters we might relate to the most om the begng,” I said. Duh.</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>It was fall 2009. <em>The L Word</em>, which had premiered on Showtime 2004, had already n s urse, endg sprg 2009 after six seasons. Neher my girliend nor I had ever seen an episo. But sudnly, dog so felt like a necsary re of passage.</p><p>Havg been volved <a href=">queer muni</a> sce my youth, I'd known about the show for years and had grown tired of all the referenc I didn't que get. Its heyday happened when I was llege, and if you assume I had accs to Showtime my dorm, you have another thg g. But now wh a girliend who had jt e out, had never had a relatnship wh another woman before, and was cur what lbian inty was all about, watchg <em>The L Word</em> felt like an experience we should have together.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3"><em>The L Word</em> follows a close-kn group of iends Los Angel through the trials and tribulatns of beg queer their 20s and 30s.</div><p>Though many characters e and go over s six seasons, the re group starts wh Bette (a high-powered and <a href=">high-anxiety</a> art center director), Ta (Bette's partner, who practilly has no story le not directly tied to Bette until late the show), Shane (an androgyno heartbreaker), Dana (a closeted tennis player), Alice (a quirky journalist), and Jenny (a wrer, brand new to the neighborhood).</p><p>Armed wh the quiz rults (my girliend got Shane; I got Jenny, but turns out I’m much more of a Bette), we began our foray to <em>The L Word</em>'s versn of Wt Hollywood. I was expectg, as the band Betty sgs the show's theme song, <em>talkg, lghg, lovg, breathg, fightg, fuckg, cryg, drkg</em>. The show provid all spas. (Any time I tried to sg along wh Betty's rapid-fire lyrics, I would jt start yellg verbs that didn't que jibe wh the show: <em>jumpg, screamg, nng, swimmg.</em> I assume we all did. <em>It’s the way that we live and love</em>, after all.)</p><p>What I wasn’t expectg, even queer media, was to feel seen.</p><p>I’ve known myself to be bisexual (or pansexual or queer; I’m ol wh all three labels) om the very begng. I n’t remember ever not beg attracted to people regardls of genr. I n date very specific thoughts about my ial nfn—<em>Do I like boys, or do I like girls? Can I like both? Is that a thg?</em>—as far back as third gra. A iend of me once wanted to play-kiss me, and I had a visceral negative reactn to the ia. “You want to pretend I’m a boy,” I told her, “and I jt want to be two girls.” She threw an accatn at me, claimg I was <a href=">gay</a>, a word I later had to ask my dad to fe. But no. That wasn’t . I had csh on boys, too.</p></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB kNleGZ sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="ggfp85"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="54m7cv"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>It wasn’t until seventh gra that the word bisexualy ma s way to my lexin, blsg me wh the language to scribe my feelgs. We n argue agast the efulns of labels all day, but when you spend 13 years unsure of how you f to the dichotomo world around you, a label is an affirmatn that you’re not alone. Bisexualy, as a ncept, was a godsend for me.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-2 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>Unfortunately, took many more years for me to work through the stigma attached to how that word leads others to perceive me. The tth is, bisexual people are stereotyped om all angl: We’re greedy, we’re cheaters, we’re sex-obssed, we’re nfed. Most people that I dated high school and llege were aaid I was passg through <a href=">a phase</a>, that I would eventually have to pick a si, and that might not be theirs.</p><p>Even when I had the language to scribe my experience, I found myself ntually the posn to fend , cludg wh the queer muny, where I was often seen as an outsir. Whout a role mol or a pop culture example to pot to, most people around me validated my inty.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3">Then me Alice Pizecki, the show's rint bisexual, who affirmed a lot of my experienc.</div><p>Well, to be precise, Alice was the show's rint bisexual until she cid to intify as a lbian. Although Alice means a lot to me, I know <em>The L Word</em> <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">screwed up wh her character</a>. I absolutely believe that sexualy is fluid (and <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">experience that way myself</a>). I also believe that Alice's transn om bisexual to lbian is valid. But was a mistake for the show's productn team to take away the one proud bisexual character, pecially whout really lvg to that part of Alice's journey.</p><p>I don't remember anythg that explaed Alice's change inty. In episo 10 of season three, while she's visg Dana the hospal, Alice tells her, "You're right. Bisexualy is gross. I see now." That's the first time she says somethg related to her no longer intifyg as bisexual. There was a lot of room there to explore her romantic and sexual evolutn, but the show's creators ignored .</p><p>Even wh Alice eventually intifyg as a lbian, her start as a bisexual woman was exhilaratg for me. While other characters had sexual and romantic experienc wh people of varyg genr inti and exprsns, Alice was the only one who actually lled herself bisexual and fend herself agast stereotyp. And through her storyl, which often volved wrtlg wh blatant bisexual stigma, Alice's prence addrsed the unique stggl bisexual women face.</p><div role="headg" aria-level="3" class="headg-h3">Like me, Alice was often acced of beg straight, as though she were filtratg queer spac wh her proximy to heterosexualy.</div><p>There's a <a href=">scene season two</a> when Alice, Dana, and Tonya (a sendary character) are visg a sex toy shop. Tonya wav a penis-shaped cholate lollipop at Alice, jokg aggrsively, “I gus this is a ltle more up your alley, isn’t , Alice?” Alice grabs a breast-shaped lollipop, sayg, "Actually, Tonya, this might be a ltle more up my alley." They bicker for a b, then Dana steps . It seems like she's gog to stick up for her iend. 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class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM gWAxdE summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ izJpcw summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">6 Creative Ways to Use Chili Crisp to Level Up Your Everyday Meals</div></div></div></a><div class="SummaryItemByleWrapper-boCfbi cuRXdL summary-em__byle-date-in"><div class="SummaryItemBaseByle-fFbXkY fOzHsm summary-em__byle"><div class="summary-em__byle__ntent"><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH ktuuhV byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd fzZOZR gnILss byle__preamble">By </span>Ashia Aubourg</span></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></div></li><li><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ RecircMostPopularSummaryItem-jQxxiw bGBSrw ad ad--asi"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--asi" data-no-id="c1gyuj"></div></div></li></ul><div class="RecircMostPopularFooter-enPjgs fObDao"></div></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="hd6zap"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bjczjj grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa UJsCn body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Later the show, when Alice and Dana are datg and Alice suggts the e of a strap-on durg sex, Dana meets the optn wh distst and risn. “Is a bisexual thg?" she asks. "You tryg to have your ke and eat your psy, too?”</p><p>Enunters like this are blatant attacks on Alice's bisexualy, forcg her unr a spotlight to prove her inty time and time aga. Unfortunately, this is somethg bisexual people often have to ntend wh. Seeg Alice al wh this doubt that bisexualy n actually exist—let alone be an inty worthy of embracg—echoed my own s of experience. It fally ma me feel ls alone. In a world where media almost never giv bisexual characters, Alice gave me, at least briefly, a reflectn of myself.</p><div data-attr-viewport-monor="le-recirc" class="le-recirc-wrapper le-recirc-observer-target-3 viewport-monor-anchor"></div><p>When Showtime announced last Tuday that <a href="><em>The L Word</em> is gettg a reboot</a>, many thoughts flood my md: After a tumultuo relatnship, will Bette and Ta be married? Will Shane somehow make up for leavg her love, Carmen, at the altar? For Christ’s sake, will we fd out who killed Jenny? (Y, a hugely ntroversial move, the show veered to murr-mystery terrory the end.)</p><p>But mostly, I was filled wh a sense of warmth and memori of marathong the show, cuddled up wh my ex-girliend on my ty uch my first apartment, fally feelg like I belonged.</p><p><em>Melissa A. Fabello is a femist wrer and speaker who vers issu related to body polics and bety culture. She is a doctoral ndidate Winer Universy’s Human Sexualy Studi program, where her rearch looks at how women wh anorexia nervosa make meang of their experienc wh sensualy. Learn more about her work on <a data-offer-url=" class="external-lk" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">her webse</a>, and follow her on Twter and Instagram @fyeahmfabello.</em></p><p><strong>Related:</strong></p><ul><li><a href=">How I'm Teachg My 8-Year-Old Dghter About Affirmative Consent</a></li><li><a href=">I'm Proudly Bisexual—and Beg Married to a Man Don't Change That</a></li><li><a href=">I'm a Bisexual Guy and, No, It's Not Jt a Phase</a></li></ul><p><strong>You may also like: Watch This Woman Try (and Hilarly Fail) to Follow a Pro Choreographer's Dance Instctns—Whout Lookg</strong></p><figure class="CneVioEmbedFigure-kCfJjN hdJOda e-vio-embed"><div data-ttid="script-ntaer"></div></figure></div></div></div><div class="GridItem-buujkM fVLMby grid--em grid-layout__asi"><div class="StickyBoxWrapper-jfYB jxBcTH sticky-box"><div class="StickyBoxPrimary-dzWDWL cdhYoN sticky-box__primary"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--rail"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--rail" data-no-id="5liqpo"></div></div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--display-rail" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--display-rail"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><div class="StickyBoxPlaceholr-grPmrg dxAvXx"></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 PaywallInleBarrierWhWrapperGrid-fyrGfS kLQIUk grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__le-barrier article__body"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"><asi class="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper-iBnuqk lfXXa-D" data-ttid="PaywallInleBarrierWrapper"><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--paywall-le-barrier" role="prentatn" aria-live="pole" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--paywall-le-barrier"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></asi></div></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 ContentWrapperGrid-fvkmBv brYtrA grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="body body__ntaer"><div class="ntaer ntaer--body"><div class="ntaer--body-ner"></div></div></div></div></div></div></article><div class="ContentFooterWrapper-jVNdRG dTJkpP ArticlePageContentFooterGrid-ccsXYy eMZRHU article-body__footer"><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="ContributorsWrapper-eNpWFu hEUvfU ntributors" data-ttid="Contributors"></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK kHBDeH grid grid-margs grid-ems-2 grid-layout--adrail narrow wi-adrail"><div class="GridItem-buujkM stRKV grid--em grid-layout__ntent"><div class="TextBlockWrapper-bNZsMC dTomOc StyledTextblock-SJflO kHgSzz disclaimer grid-layout__ntent"><p class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ TextBlockText-gtrMkY iUEiRd Pbwma kQegaj">SELF do not provi medil advice, diagnosis, or treatment. 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class="SummaryItemAssetContaer-gwhFFH VOyg summary-em__asset-ntaer"><a class="SummaryItemImageLk-dshqxb cPpCwE summary-em__image-lk summary-em-trackg__image-lk" href=" aria-hidn="te" tabx="-1" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-image-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" target="_self"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. Here’s How to Intify Yours" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-2" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">Everyone Has Relatnship Deal-Breakers. 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SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image"><div data-tt="aspect-rat-ntaer" class="AspectRatContaer-bJHpJz jTnDXj"><div class="aspect-rat--overlay-ntaer"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa SummaryItemRponsiveAsset-hjGIGg bDvSkO summary-em__image rponsive-image"><noscript><source media="(max-width: 767px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><source media="(m-width: 768px)" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w" siz="100vw"/><img alt="How to Stop Comparg Your Current Body to Your Former One" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src="></noscript></picture></div></div></span></a></div><div class="SummaryItemContent-eiDYMl XMZX summary-em__ntent summary-em__ntent--no-bric"><a class="SummaryItemHedLk-civM hCFwqQ summary-em-trackg__hed-lk summary-em__hed-lk" data-ponent-type="recirc-river" data-recirc-id="em-hed-3" data-recirc-pattern="summary-em" href=" target="_self"><div data-ttid="ClampWrapper" class="ClampWrapper-kZxfkB hTTNGO clamp SummaryItemHedBase-hiFYpQ ggvOsp summary-em__hed"><div class="ClampContent-hilPkr jVhSBH"><div class="SummaryItemHedTag-TWblf gxaOcP" data-ttid="SummaryItemHed">How to Stop Comparg Your Current Body to Your Former One</div></div></div></a><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SummaryItemDek-CRfsi iUEiRd bsvuBj jDyfzW summary-em__k">It’s easy to romanticize the past, but we’re not meant to look the same our whole liv.</div></div></div><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm qQT ad ad--read-more"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--read-more" data-no-id="1vzpze"></div></div><div class="SummaryItemWrapper-iwvBff gjCHLu summary-em summary-em--ARTICLE summary-em--no-in summary-em--text-align-left summary-em--layout-placement-text-below summary-em--layout-posn-image-left summary-em--layout-proportns-50-50 summary-em--si-by-si-align-center summary-em--si-by-si-image-right-mobile-false summary-em--standard SummaryCollectnGridSummaryItem-WColm 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