Why Are People Gay? Gay By Choice or Is Beg Gay Geic? | HealthyPlace

psychology of being a gay bottom

Across much of the gay and bisexual male rearch on sexual posn self-label (i.e., llg onelf a top, bottom, or versatile), there exist two mon

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THE INFLUENCE OF PHYSIL BODY TRAS AND MASCULY ON ANAL SEX ROL GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN

In anal terurse between gay men, men who are typilly sertive ("tops") are often perceived as, and may intify as, more mascule than those who are typilly receptive ("bottoms"). "Versatile" men, who may adopt eher posn, may be perceived as more genr balanced and may transcend the … * psychology of being a gay bottom *

Published fal eded form as:PMCID: PMC5065059NIHMSID: NIHMS820605AbstractSoclogil, psychologil, and public health studi document that many gay and bisexual men may self-label by their anal perative role (i.

Keywords: Anal Perative Role, Tops, Bottoms, Versatil, Penis Size, Masculy, Gay and Bisexual MenINTRODUCTIONMale and female perative rol durg heterosexual sexual terurse are theorized to have veloped evolutnarily to facilate human reproductn (Symons, 1981). Soclogil, psychologil, and public health studi document that many gay and bisexual men may self-intify by their perative role (Carrier, 1977; Gil, 2007; Hart et al., 2003; Moskowz et al., 2008; Sanrson, 1994; Weg & Meyer-Bahlburg, 2000; Wei & Raymond, 2010).

But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic? That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference.

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

While a sgle factor (the elive “gay gene,” for example) has yet to emerge the ongog scientific vtigatn of what term sexualy, there are a host of theori. Geic factors, hormonal factors, immunologil factors, and more have been posed as possible blogil . However, many experts… * psychology of being a gay bottom *

Interpretative phenomenologil analysis (IPA) intified that perceptns of tops and bottoms as genred social inti varied pendg on the extent to which gay men subscribed to the mandat of hegemonic masculy, the domant masculy Wtern society. ”‘Surf Girls Hawai’i’ is the Real-Life ‘Blue Csh’ We’ve Waed 21 Years ForOffEnglishRegardls of how wi-rangg the studi are, they tend to have one thg mon: they treat gay men as a monolhic group. VanrLaan) has vtigated variatn wh the populatn of gay men based on their anal-sex rol (that is bottom, or receptive, top, or perative, and versatile, or both receptive and perative pendg on circumstance).

"IT TAK A MAN TO PUT ME ON THE BOTTOM": GAY MEN'S EXPERIENC OF MASCULY AND ANAL INTERURSE

Why are people gay? Are they gay by choice or is beg gay geic? Are they born gay? Learn about the and reasons for beg gay. * psychology of being a gay bottom *

The rults of two of their studi suggt there very well uld be blogil subgroups of gay men, which is to say that one’s blogil makp uld possibly (and most likely, directly) fluence whether or not he lik to fuck or get fucked (or both) has been studied, anal-sex role has been viewed as a rult of social factors (more on that a mute). Dpe every study I’ve read that asks about the anal-sex role of s rponnts has found that the majory men who have sex wh men intify as versatile (cludg the two studi at hand om the Universy of Toronto team) as well as my own anecdotal experience suggtg as much, the top/bottom bary persists gay culture. And wh the assumptns of femy men e sults (“bottom” as a pejorative amongst gay men) and wh those e a specific kd of shame addn to the shame many gay men already experience merely livg a heterosexual perhaps if the variatn among gay men has blogil basis, uld help make one’s sir, not to mentn those of others, ls ght or timidatg, for one thg.

“What’s tertg about this work is even among a group of dividuals who are pretty siar terms of their sexual preference—that is, gay men preferrg men—there uld be a diverse set of procs that lead them to exhib that same sexual orientatn oute, ” explaed VanrLaan, an assistant profsor the Universy of Toronto Mississga’s Department of Psychology, and the senr thor on two recent papers: “Handns is a bmarker of variatn anal sex role behavr and Relled Childhood Genr Nonnformy among gay men, ” published on PLOS One, and “Genr Nonnformy and Birth Orr Relatn to Anal Sex Role Among Gay Men, ” published Archiv of Sexual studi built on prev rearch suggtg that gay men are more likely to be genr-nonnformg (“ls terted , say, male-typil [exhibg] ls mascule personaly characteristics, ” said VanrLaan), are more likely to be non-right hand than their straight unterparts, and are more likely to have olr brothers ( what’s known as the aternal birth orr effect, which technilly poss that the more olr brothers a man has om the same mother, the more likely he is to be gay). The Universy of Toronto team ntacted what would bee their sample of men durg the 2015 Toronto Pri ftivi and asked them to fill out onle surveys regardg their sexual posng (both preference and behavr—there was discernible variatn between the two), their relled childhood genr nonnformy (which was assigned a number through a regularly ed 23-em qutnnaire The Relled Childhood Genr Inty/Genr Role Qutnnaire, which asks qutns like “As a child my bt or clost iend was 1-always a boy, to 5-always a girl, ” and “In fantasy or pretend play, I took the role 1-only of boys or men, to 5-only of girls or women), their handns, and their amount of siblgs (the sampl of the two studi were almost intil, wh 91 straight men surveyed both studi, and 242 gay men the handns study vers the 243 men of the birth orr study).

”The team’s ultimate fdgs poted to statistilly signifint variatn amongst the gay men, wh bottoms beg more likely wh the sampled populatns to be genr-nonnformg (Table 1) and non-right hand (Table 2), as well as to have a higher proportn of olr brothers (Table 3):Note that the handns study found the strongt lks terms of behavr (i. He emailed back this rponse:I specifilly nducted [the “Regnn and Constctn of Top, Bottom, and Versatile Orientatns Gay/Bisexual Men”] study to try to prove that anal perative role was far more nate than ever thought. However, we found both the chronology of gay and bisexual men’s self-labelg of their perative rol and their attudal measur, evince to suggt that unrstandg and assigng a role veloped over time.

BORN TO BOTTOM? REARCHERS REPORT BLOGIL CORRELATNS ANAL SEX ROLE GAY MEN

After speakg wh many gay, bisexual, and queer men who intify as “total tops” or “total bottoms” (meang they have no sire to diversify their posnal preference), I've learned about a number of legimate reasons one may have no tert swchg posns. Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay rd, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, stead of the Sortg Hat, a giant magil butt plug divis all gay men to two ho: tops or is clearly not the se, pecially for those people who nsir themselv versatile (HIYA).

TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS"I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG."{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}CULTUREBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021/1:35 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:4912PX;WIDTH:7360PX;}GETTY IMAGSHOT A YOUNG UPLE HAVG AN ARGUMENT THE BEDROOM AT HOMEBY BOBBY BOXNOVEMBER 19, 2021 / 1:35 PM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS SHARE WHY THEY REFE TO BE VERS","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2021-11-19T18:35:41.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"BOBBY BOX","KEYWORDS":"LOVE AND SEX","ARTICLESECTN":"CULTURE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN TO POSNAL PREFERENC, VERSATILY IS LARGELY REGARD AS THE MOST PROGRSIVE OPTN FOR QUEER MEN. STICKG TO THE BARY OF “TOP” AND “BOTTOM” N LIM WHAT ONE DO THE BEDROOM, AND QUEER FOLKS SHOULD FEEL EMPOWERED TO FUCK WHOEVER AND HOWEVER THEY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}IN THEORY, THIS THKG TRACKS, BUT DON’T ALWAYS HOLD UP PRACTICE. AFTER SPEAKG WH MANY GAY, BISEXUAL, AND QUEER MEN WHO INTIFY AS “TOTAL TOPS” OR “TOTAL BOTTOMS” (MEANG THEY HAVE NO SIRE TO DIVERSIFY THEIR POSNAL PREFERENCE), I'VE LEARNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF LEGIMATE REASONS ONE MAY HAVE NO TERT SWCHG {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY, A 35-YEAR-OLD GAY MAN AND “G OUT ACH,” INTIFI AS A TOTAL TOP. HE HAS ONLY BOTTOMED ONCE HIS LIFE, AND ALTHOUGH WASN’T BAD, HE HAS “NO TERT” BEG VERSATILE. “I'M STRICTLY A TOP BEE BOTTOMG IS PAFUL, EASY AS THAT,” HE TELLS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ANTHONY ALSO SAYS BOTTOMG IS “TIED TO SUBMISSN” FOR HIM, A MON ASSOCIATN AMONG QUEER MEN ROOTED TOXIC MASCULY. IN FACT, ONE STUDY FOUND TOPS ARE MOST LIKELY TO MANIFT HIGHER LEVELS OF TERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA AND MORE LIKELY TO REJECT A GAY {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“REARCH DO SHOW THAT TOPS ARE MORE LIKELY TO INTIFY AS TRADNALLY MASCULE OR DOMANT, SO TOPPG MAY BE A PART OF THAT MASCULE OR DOMANT INTY,” DR. TREVOR HART, A CLIL PSYCHOLOGIST AND BEHAVRAL SCIENTIST FOCG ON THE SEXUAL AND MENTAL HEALTH OF MEN WHO HAVE SEX WH MEN, TELLS LOGO.GETTY IMAGSAD GAY MAN HAVG PROBLEMS WH HIS BOYIEND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}FOR SELF-SCRIBED “REER BOTTOM” ROLANDO, 29, NFINCE PLAYS A LARGE PART HIS RIGID POSNAL PREFERENCE. “I DID TOP ONE TIME WH MY THEN-BOYIEND, BUT ’S NOT WHAT I LIKE OR EXCEL AT,” HE SAYS. “THAT, TURN, HAS CREATED A B OF ERTIA, WHERE BEE ’S WHAT I’VE DONE THE MOST, I FEEL MOST NFINT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}ROLANDO EXPLAS THAT EVEN WH A PARTNER HE LOVED, HE STILL EXPERIENCED CHALLENG LIKE STAYG HARD AND FDG A POSN THAT WORKED FOR BOTH HIM AND HIS PARTNER. “I'D SENTIALLY HAVE TO FD SOMEONE WHO IS WILLG TO AL WH A BEGNER-TOP, WH MY PERFORMANCE ANXIETY AND STAYG HARD, AND ALL FOR SOMETHG THAT ULTIMATELY DON’T EVEN FEEL THAT GOOD TO ME? I'D RATHER JT BOTTOM.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}DR. HART’S REARCH, WHICH POLLED 205 GAY MALE PARTICIPANTS ON SUBJECTS LIKE SELF-LABELS AND SEXUAL BEHAVR, WAS PUBLISHED THE JOURNAL OF SEX REARCH 2003. HE UNVERED A NUMBER OF TERTG RRELATNS, CLUDG THAT VERSATIL SEEM TO ENJOY BETTER PSYCHOLOGIL HEALTH, WHICH ULD BE DUE TO THEIR GREATER SEXUAL SENSATN-SEEKG, RCED FEARS AROUND SEX, AND GREATER FORT WH A VARIETY OF ROL AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“ON THE OTHER HAND, TOTAL BOTTOMS MIGHT PERCEIVE TOPPG TO BE TOO DOMANT OR UNFORTABLE, OR THAT THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PERFORM, TO HAVE AN ASM, OR TO PLEASURE THEIR PARTNER WHILE TOPPG,” HART {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}SHAME ASSOCIATED WH PENIS SIZE OR SHAPE WAS ANOTHER PREVAILG FACTOR AMONG THE MEN I TERVIEWED. “THE MA REASON I DON’T TOP IS BEE MY DICK ISN’T REALLY SHAPED A WAY THAT MAK FORTABLE,” BNO, A 23-YEAR-OLD WHO HAS ONLY TOPPED ONCE, SHAR. “IT’S ALMOST STRAIGHT UP AND DON’T LIKE TO BEND OUTWARD OR FORWARD WHEN FULLY HARD. I ALSO DON’T EXPERIENCE AS MUCH SENSATN AS I THK MOST PEOPLE DO, SO ’S JT UNFORTABLE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THEN THE PRSURE OM SIZE QUEENS. REARCH PUBLISHED THE ARCHIV OF SEXUAL BEHAVR 2010 FOUND THAT THE SMALLER SOMEBODY PERCEIVED THE SIZE OF THEIR PENIS, THE MORE LIKELY THEY WERE TO INTIFY AS A BOTTOM. AFTER SURVEYG 1,065 GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN, ONLY 29.2% OF TOPS FALL UNR “BELOW AVERAGE” PENIS SIZE, PARED TO 32% OF VERSATIL AND 39% OF BOTTOMS. CONVERSELY, THE BIGGER THEIR PERCEIVED PENIS SIZE, THE MORE LIKELY SUBJECTS WERE TO INTIFY AS {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}REARCHERS NCLUD MASCULY WAS YET AGA A POTENTIAL FACTOR SCE ONE’S PENIS SIZE IS OFTEN ACCURATELY REGARD AS A SYMBOL OF ONE’S GREE OF MASCULY, AND JUDGEMENT OM SEXUAL PARTNERS MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE WH AN AVERAGE OR SMALLER-THAN-AVERAGE PENIS LS NFINT TOPPG.GETTY IMAGMAN'S HAND HOLDS H RIPE EGGPLANT ON A WHE BACKGROUND. HARVTG NCEPT. AN ALLEGORY ON THE SIZE OF MALE SEX OGANS. SIZE PARISON. IMAG FOR THE MALE DOCTOR'S {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INFLEXIBLE POSNAL PREFERENC N ALSO STEM OM TRMATIC SEXUAL EXPERIENC. INGO, 50, WAS AN ABIVE RELATNSHIP FOR 18 MONTHS AND SAYS HE WAS SEXUALLY ASSLTED THROUGHOUT. HE NOW INTIFI AS A TOTAL {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“IT WAS A MIX OF ERCN, THREATS TO THROW ME OUT AND LL MY GRANDFATHER TO SPILL ALL THE TAILS OF OUR SEX LIFE,” HE TELLS LOGO. “THE KICKER WAS THAT HE HIMSELF WAS A BOTTOM MOST OF HIS LIFE, SO RETROSPECT, I ASSUME THAT WAS AN EARLY EXAMPLE OF AN INTY CRISIS BORRG ON FALSE IAS OF MASCULY ON HIS END.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INGO HAS TRIED BOTTOMG THE 30 YEARS SCE THAT ABIVE RELATNSHIP, BUT HE WASN'T ABLE TO ENJOY EVEN WH ANOTHER PAST PARTNER HE TSTED. “I SOMETIM WONR IF THERE WAS SOMETHG TAKEN AWAY OM ME,” HE ADMS AFTER A PSE. “BUT THE CURSY AND THE WISH TO EXPERIMENT WENT UP SMOKE.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE ARE JT A FEW OF THE MANY MSAG I RECEIVED OM TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS WHO WERE GRAC WH THEIR VULNERABILY. AND WHILE ONE MIGHT LOGILLY ASSUME THAT SOMEONE’S SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS TERMED BY THEIR LIK AND DISLIK THE BEDROOM, REARCH AND TTIMONY SUGGTS IS NOT THAT SIMPLE. EVEN AMONG THE RELATIVELY SMALL SAMPLG OF TOTAL TOPS AND BOTTOMS I TERVIEWED, MOST NFSED THEY’D ONLY TRIED THE OPPOSG POSN ONCE OR A FEW {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}INTRIGUED, I ASKED HART IF HE THKS SOCIAL PRSUR MIGHT ECLIPSE ONE’S ACTUAL ENJOYMENT THEIR INTI. HE SAYS IS LIKELY TE FOR A LOT OF MEN. “IF A GUY HAS NCERNS ABOUT KEEPG ERECTNS OR ABOUT PLEASURG HIS PARTNER AS A TOP, HE IS UNLIKELY TO TOP. THIS IS ALSO THE SE FOR GUYS WHO’VE BEEN TOLD THEY AREN’T GREAT AT BOTTOMG.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}STRIPPED OF ALL NUANCE, NVENTNAL IAS OF WHAT IS “MASCULE” APPEAR TO PLAY A LARGE ROLE HOW QUEER MEN HAVE SEX. WHETHER THIS MANIFTS OUR NFINCE, OUR PERCEPTN OF SIZE, OR THE REPERCSNS OF A PAST PARTNER'S OWN TERNALIZED BIAS, SEEMS MOST OF ARE WILLG AND OPEN TO BE MORE VERSATILE. WE JT LACK THE SELF-ASSURANCE TO ACT ON {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}AT THE END OF THE DAY, SEX IS BT WHEN YOU DO WHAT MAK YOU MOST FORTABLE, SO SET BOUNDARI AND DO YOU. BUT PERHAPS THE RMATN ABOVE WILL MAKE SOME RENSIR WHY THEY AREN’T OPEN TO EXPERIENCG A FULLER SPECTM OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}LOVE AND {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

The two subdivisns have their own l, stereotyp, and -jok, and n sometim seem as if they’re at war wh each other, rather than both workg together for mutual sexual of this n make tryg different thgs dntg, pecially if you’re a baby gay venturg to this world for the first time. But I believe that many gay men pick one si, stick to , and that some of those dividuals choose toppg—you’ll have seen their profil markg them as “masc dom tops” on the apps—bee of s ti to tradnal Miller explas, there are outsi forc that, datg back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men om tly diggg to what sexual behavrs we might actually enjoy.

“Wh bottomg there is the perceptn that you're givg up your masculy bee receivg a penis is somethg that women do, ” Miller Chris Whe, an expert health promotn and the director and prcipal vtigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network San Francis, tak this one step further.

”To be (fucked) or not to be (fucked) shouldn’t always be the qutnAcrdg to a 2011 study by The Journal of Sexual Medice that surveyed 25, 000 gay men Ameri about their last sexual enunters, only 36 percent said they had bottomed and 34 percent said they had, realy, we’re not actually fuckg all that much.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE A GAY MAN?

As every gay man knows who has been sulted or asslted for his actual or perceived sexual orientatn, there are steep penalti for vlatg the Boy Co as there are for anyone who is “different” om the prumed (typilly whe, heterosexual, middle-class) standard. How do a gay kid survive the trma he suffers for beg different a culture that still nmns his difference as somethg bad or “ls-than” and wants to mold him to the same shape tri to mold every boy?

Robert Pollack says the most important thg a fay n do to support their gay son is to keep lovg him, “to nvey to him, as soon as he shar his feelgs, that he is still loved through and through, that his sexual orientatn will not any way dimish how much he is admired and rpected. Fortunately there is a long history of gay men who bucked the accepted fns of masculy and created liv that exprsed their unrstandg of themselv and how they choose to exprs their inty as men who don’t necsarily f tradnal molds.

The late Harry Hay often lled "the father of the morn gay movement, " found the Mattache Society Los Angel the fall of 1950 for gay men to gather and ponr the qutns Hay had long been askg: Who are gay people? Hay didn’t tend the Mattach to be a polil anizatn per se, but a group that would e together to enhance their self-unrstandg and explore the ntributns gay people had ma to the human race through the ag. In a 1987 say tled “A Separate People Whose Time Has Come, ” Hay scribed homosexuals as “spir people, ” who, throughout the ag, had served society their rol as “msengers and tercers, shamans of both genrs, prits and prits, imagemakers and prophets, mim and rhapsos, poets and playwrights, healers and nurturers, teachers and preachers, tkers and tkerers, searchers and rearchers.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

Specifilly, many aspects of the velopment of homosexualy (both the male and female varieti) are not as well unrstood as they should be to make some of the claims that many people felt nfint exprsg. There's a lot to discs regardg the rults of the paper (Skorska et al, 2016): The rearchers were examg the possibily that a maternal immune rponse might play a key role the velopment of a homosexual orientatn mal.

Effectively, then, the mother's immune system would (sometim) treat certa male protes produced by the fet as a foreign pathogen and attempt to attack , rultg out that uld clu a homosexual orientatn, but also fetal loss if the reactn was strong enough (i. Already there is a lot to like about this hypothis on a theoretil level, as don't pos any hidn adaptive benefs for a homosexual orientatn (as such proposed benefs have not received sound empiril support historilly). The rearchers reced approximately 130 mothers and classified them on the basis of what kd of children they had: those who had at least 1 gay son (n = 54), and those who only had heterosexual sons (n = 72).

The mothers were then classified further to one of five groups: those wh gay male only-children (n = 8), those wh gay male offsprg that had no olr brothers (n = 23), those wh gay male offsprg wh olr brothers (n = 23), those wh heterosexual male only-children (n = 11), and those wh heterosexual male offsprg wh siblgs (n = 61).

GEICS MAY DETERME IF GAY MEN ARE TOPS OR BOTTOMS

As birth weight tends to crease over succsive pregnanci, the parisons were limed to first live-born sons only (n = 63); this left 4 gay male only-children, 7 gay mal wh no olr brothers, 14 heterosexual mal wh gay younger brothers, 10 heterosexual male only-children, and 28 heterosexual mal wh siblgs.

The rults mirrored those of the fetal-loss data: mothers of gay male only-children tend to give birth to fants that weighed signifintly ls (M = 2970 grams), than all other groups (d = 1. While 's important to not get rried away wh this fdg given the relatively small sample size (I wouldn't put too much stock an N of 8), there is some suggtive evince here worth pursug further that somethg is atypil fetal velopment the se of gay male offsprg. Skorska et al (2016) pos that this might have somethg to do wh some mothers showg a greater immune rponse agast male offsprg, rultg more fetal loss, the rult beg that such mothers are both ls likely to have any children at all and more likely to have gay male children particular.

If mothers of gay men do not tend to have a greater rat of female-to-male offsprg, this would st some doubt on the explanatn (and, sce the only data I've heard reports that gay men tend to have more olr brothers, seems they would have noticed the sister pot by now if existed). On the other hand, if this is a more general immune reactn agast fetal bodi, regardls of their sex, we would not expect such a pattern ( might also predict that mothers takg immunosupprsants would be ls likely to have gay offsprg/misrry, but thgs are unlikely to be that simple owg to the fact that other effects would rult too). If is tly the se that maternal immune rpons are the drivers of homosexual velopment humans, would be very cur that siar out don't appear to obta across at least other mammalian speci.

PHYSIL, BEHAVRAL, AND PSYCHOLOGIL TRAS OF GAY MEN INTIFYG AS BEARS

Public opn studi over the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s routely showed that, among large segments of the public, lbian, gay, and bisexual people were the target of strongly held negative attus. The associatn of HIV/AIDS wh gay and bisexual men and the accurate belief that some people held that all gay and bisexual men were fected served to further stigmatize lbian, gay, and bisexual people. Dpe the persistence of stereotyp that portray lbian, gay, and bisexual people as disturbed, several s of rearch and clil experience have led all mastream medil and mental health anizatns this untry to nclu that the orientatns reprent normal forms of human experience.

Helpful rpons of a therapist treatg an dividual who is troubled about her or his same sex attractns clu helpg that person actively pe wh social prejudic agast homosexualy, succsfully rolve issu associated wh and rultg om ternal nflicts, and actively lead a happy and satisfyg life. The phrase “g out” is ed to refer to several aspects of lbian, gay, and bisexual persons’ experienc: self-awarens of same-sex attractns; the tellg of one or a few people about the attractns; wispread disclosure of same-sex attractns; and intifitn wh the lbian, gay, and bisexual muny. Th, is not surprisg that lbians and gay men who feel they mt nceal their sexual orientatn report more equent mental health ncerns than do lbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physil health problems.

Lbian, gay, and bisexual youth who do well spe strs—like all adolcents who do well spe strs—tend to be those who are socially petent, who have good problem-solvg skills, who have a sense of tonomy and purpose, and who look forward to the future. If they are a heterosexual relatnship, their experienc may be que siar to those of people who intify as heterosexual unls they choose to e out as bisexual; that se, they will likely face some of the same prejudice and discrimatn that lbian and gay dividuals enunter.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* PSYCHOLOGY OF BEING A GAY BOTTOM

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