Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• CAN A STRAIGHT GUY ETHILLY ACCEPT ORAL SEX OM HIS GAY BUDDY?

IS FLIRTG BETWEEN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN OKAY?

Of urse, some intify as straight but are realy closeted bisexuals or gays by sexual orientatn—perhaps likely to e out at a later age (if ever). The differenc between gay and straight men are much harr to discern the days, cludg the ways that affectn is shown.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

It simply don’t matter so much who is gay and who isn’t ( most quarters), and hangg out wh gay men when you are straight is no big al. Asi om the grooms and me, I didn’t know, nor uld I tell after many enunters, who was gay and who was straight.

” It mak sense, a shrewd nice-lookg younger man his charm and don’t happen to re if the teractn is wh a gay man. Several gay male iends and I somehow started talkg about how gay and straight men teract so differently than they once did (not so long ago). The lson is that everyone n loosen up, pecially gay men who, for so long, have had to be reful about lettg others really know them.

Sex the Cy, Will and Grace), though a lot ls has been said about how gay and straight men regnize and negotiate the distct challeng, plitns, and rewards of their iendships. Acrdg to Garfield, among the many obstacl to male-male platonic timacy, fear of homosexualy looms large. Straight men et that if they get too close, others will see them as gay; which their mds means feme (horrors!

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

S., before there was such a thg as a gay inty, some straight men would, wh ltle shame, engage sexual ntact wh other men (ually allowg themselv to be fellated) when female partners were otherwise unavailable (see Gee Chncey’s semal book, Gay New York: Genr, Urban Culture, and the Makg of the Gay Male World 1890-1940) and there is good reason to believe this still occurs other untri and cultur. The mid 20th century this behavr beme associated wh gay inty, new at the time and seen as crimal and then sick. As a rult of this behavr-inty lk, sexual ngrs between gay and straight men creased nsirably, or at least went unrground.

Gay men have suffered physil, social, and psychologil abe at the hands of heterosexually intified mal who, thanks to homophobia and heterosexism, felt fully jtified flictg the terrors. This legacy of vlence, both physil and psychologil, flicted by straight men toward those of who are gay naturally fuels our utn and distst at the thought of beiendg them. As turns out, the gay iend worried that if he hugged too closely his iend would thk he was g on to him.

For the straight guy, iendship wh a gay man offers the opportuny to learn important lsons about masculy, male inty, sexual orientatn, and diversy. As the quote go: You n never have too many iends—and iendships between gay and straight guys n be healg and uniquely satisfyg for all volved. ' His buddi got all homophobic on him, so he asked, 'You guys have never msed around wh another guy?

CAN A STRAIGHT GUY ETHILLY ACCEPT ORAL SEX OM HIS GAY BUDDY?

McKellan is a gay man who me out 1988, and although 33 years have passed sce he me out, n still be shockg to the world to see such a close same-sex iendship that cross sexual inti. Along wh his supervisor, Robb Travers, he lnched a study that surveyed 350 straight men and 275 gay or bisexual men om across North Ameri. Siar to qutns that loom about whether straight men and women n ever tly be platonic iends, the same qutn lgers over the iendships between gay and straight men.

A bromosexual iendship is a nonsexual iendship between two men, where typilly one iend is gay (or bisexual), and the other is straight.

In days past, this may have seemed as unlikely as a iendship between a ln and a moe, given the tradnally high levels of homophobia among straight men.