The Gay Friends I Thought I Didn't Need | GQ

Contents:

• HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
• I’M NOT HOMOPHOBIC, I HAVE A GAY IEND…
• AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM
• I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND

Whether you're gay and lookg for gay iends or you're tryg to help a iend who's e out, we've got you vered!

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

Wh a ltle searchg you n fd a rich work of gay iends your area or you n meet people onle. If you already have gay iends, ask them to troduce you to some of their gay iends so you n expand your work. If you get asked to hang out wh a gay iend, do even if you're not really exced about sce 's an opportuny to meet iends.

This might seem like an obv place to meet gay iends, but that's bee works! Although they're not as mon, you might be able to fd gay f your cy. The are great sual plac to meet other gays, pecially if you're to a quieter atmosphere or aren't old enough to go to a bar.

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI

" Obvly, jog a gay-rights group is an optn for meetg gay iends, but you uld branch out to anythg you're terted . For example, you might jo an LGBT service group that plants tre, distribut food or suppli to the homels, or rais awarens for gay rights.

Volunteer at a Pri celebratn event for a sure way to expand your circle of gay iends.

While n be easier to go to popular gay spots, don't overlook the fact that gay people are at the store, library, rtrant, etc. If you're terted meetg someone you thk is gay, jt make eye ntact and se.

I’M NOT HOMOPHOBIC, I HAVE A GAY IEND…

" They may ask you out, or if they get the sense that you're gay, they may be able to pot you to a well-known LGBT spot town. For example, if you hear someone say, "That's so gay, " you uld say, "How do you thk that would make a gay person feel?

AS A STRAIGHT MAN, HOW N I POLELY STOP MY GAY IEND FLIRTG WH ME?

There are lots of rourc for iends and fay members so you n be there for your gay iend. You might read about qutns that you shouldn't ask, the stggl a gay person go through, and what the gay muny is like your area. At tim, many gay men feel as though they're the only on experiencg certa thoughts and feelgs, on that society still often ems abnormal.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

So when a gay man first bonds wh someone else who intifi as gay or queer, 's evably a total lightng bolt moment. One's first LGBTQ iendship is often super-tense; fact, that person n bee jt as important as a first romantic partner.I'm no longer close wh my first gay iend, Jam, bee we're very different people now. But I still remember clumsily g out to him after a Le Tigre ncert and him sayg, "I thk I'm gay, too." In the months that followed, we weren't always as kd to one another as we should have been, but we absolutely helped each other to accept our sexualy.

Here, their own words, are three men's stori of their first queer iendships.Josh, on AlexWhen I first saw Alex the smokg area at my new llege, I was like, "Oh my God, who is that?" He was hot—I thk everyone thought so—but I didn't thk he was gay. Then we started chattg and he said "I'm gay" the most offhand way. He didn't still a sense of ternalized homophobia me, which was important bee I was a mpy gay guy who'd always been teased for beg mpy.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

After three s of not feelg like I f anywhere, this ltle moment of acknowledgement om another LGBTQ person meant a lot.Sce then I've met other bi people at Pri events, but Charlie's still my clost "queer peer." He gave me the permissn to be myself when I didn't even know who that was.Bill, on DeanI grew up a small nservative town and didn't know anyone gay at school, so I met my first gay iends through social media. Have you ever heard the words g om a ar, heterosexual-by-flt iend: “You nnot tell a livg soul, but I am gay. Well, scramble no more bee this proud gay man has you vered.

Assumg that you haven’t been dwellg unr a homophobic rock for the past 20 years, you’ll know thatgay, bisexual, transgenr and other non- heterosexual people are beg creasgly fortable about owng their inti and “g out” legimacy of sexual orientatns (note: not “preferenc”) is a sealed chapter. Therefore, a person don’t jt ci to be is important that you not e the word “ci”, as impli that you are accg your iend of optg to be gay, makg them feel like they are at flt for the societal opprsn they enunter. ”Self-acceptance n be pecially hard for LGBTQ+ teens, but there is support out there2 “But my relign is agast gays – people like you.

”Pop star Calum Stt talked to about beg an advote for LGBTQ youth, and how he unwds4 “How do you know you’re gay if you’ve never kissed a (member of the oppose genr)?

HOW TO TELL A FRIEND YOU'RE GAY AND YOU LOVE THEM

You may already know that your iend is gay, however, 's important to let them actually say to you. " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet? If you then don't have the nvictn that beg gay is natural and good, you may want to rensir the iendship.

Maybe you're over the moon and you'll not only march gay pri paras, but you want to anise some right now! Acceptance n make a huge different the liv of LGBTQIA (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people. Article SummaryXIt might e as a b of a shock to fd out your bt iend is gay, but by supportg them and givg yourself time to get ed to , your iendship n be jt like was.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG

It probably took a lot of urage for your iend to e out as gay, so tell them that you accept them for who they are to be a good iend. You should also avoid tellg anyone else that your iend is gay, sce should be their cisn who knows.

In some of my most sperate hours for gay bondg, I’ve attend LGBTQ+-themed therapy groups my area. Outsi of LGBTQ+-specific meetups, a great way to fd LGBT iendships is actually by attendg meetups that gay people typilly like.

Like any other day I was browsg through my Facebook newsfeed, and ran to a post om a person who I nsir a iend, said post stated “People are makg me look like the biggt homophobic, the tth is that I don’t re what gay people do wh their liv, fact I have a gay iend, but still I don’t agree wh them adoptg children, and that is my opn.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

But what I found tertg was how he ed “his gay iend” as some kd of validatn of him not beg homophobic.

I was astonished, how n someone state that they are not homophobic but also say all those hurtful unstaed allegatns. Then dawn on me that people don’t know what beg homophobic is, and also believe that havg a “gay iend” s a ee out of jail rd for sayg prejudice thgs agast the LGBTQ muny.

Homophobia is observable cril and hostile behavr such as discrimatn and vlence on the basis of sexual orientatns that are non-heterosexual. I know my iends don’t hate gay people, but homophobia is not jt hate, hate is jt one end of the spectm, there is so much between hate and acceptance.