If You Were Gay, Roy

Contents:

• HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY
• ‘SUCCSN’ WRER SAYS ROY FAY MEMBER WAS ALMOST GAY
• AM I GAY?
• DR. ROY GAY
• SEASON 2 EPISO 4: “THE FIRE”THE OFFICE (USA)TRACK 4 ON SEASON 2 PRODUCED BYDEEDLE-DEE PRODUCTNS & REVEILLE PRODUCTNSOCT. 11, 20051 VIEWER26.8K VIEWS1 CONTRIBUTORSEASON 2 EPISO 4: “THE FIRE” LYRICSPAM: DUNR MIFFL, THIS IS PAM. SURE, N I ASK WHO'S LLG? JT A SEND.JIM: JIM HALPERT. WHAT? HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER? STALKER.PAM: KATY AND JIM MET THE OFFICE. AND NOW I GUS THEY'RE LIKE GOG OUT, OR DATG, OR SOMETHG. AND, UH... I DON'T KNOW! YOU KNOW? THEY'RE JT... SHE LLS HIM, AND THEY... YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY. I FEEL LIKE I'M TALKG REALLY LOUD. AM I TALKG REALLY LOUD?JIM: SO WE'RE STILL ON FOR LUNCH? YOU'RE MEETG ME HERE? OKAY. GREAT. BYE.PAM: [TO JIM] HEY! YOU N JT GIVE HER YOUR EXTENSN.JIM: OKAY.MICHAEL: HOWARD, SLASH RYAN, RYAN HOWARD IS STG MY OFFICE. AND HE HAS BEEN A TEMP HERE FOR A UPLE OF MONTHS AND HE'S KD OF GOTTEN THE LAY OF THE LAND A LTLE B. HAD A FEW LGHS ALONG THE WAY. AND NOW HE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I THK.RYAN: THE TEMP AGENCY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU THK.MICHAEL: SHALL WE? LET PROCEED. FIRST UP, PROFICIENCY NECSARY SKILLS. AAAAEEEXCELLENT! [LGHS]DWIGHT: MICHAEL'S THERE RIGHT NOW EVALUATG THE TEMP. HE HASN'T EVALUATED ME YEARS.MICHAEL: FIVE YEARS OM NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE?RYAN: AH, WELL, I'M TERTED BS.MICHAEL: OH! GOOD. AMB. EXCELLENT. WANT TO BE A MANAGER?RYAN: UH, NO, ACTUALLY, UH, WHAT I WANT IS TO OWN MY OWN PANY.MICHAEL: THAT IS RIDICULO.MICHAEL: RYAN'S ABOUT TO ATTEND THE MICHAEL STT SCHOOL OF BS. I'M LIKE MR. MIYAGI AND YODA ROLLED TO ONE.MICHAEL: [SPEAKS A YODA VOICE] MUCH ADVICE YOU SEEK. [REGULAR VOICE] DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?RYAN: FOZZIE BEAR?MICHAEL: MMM... NO. THAT WAS YODA.MICHAEL: THERE ARE TEN L OF BS THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN. NUMBER ONE: YOU NEED TO PLAY TO W. BUT... YOU ALSO HAVE TO W TO PLAY.RYAN: GOT .MICHAEL: AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE RT OF THE TEN AT LUNCH.MICHAEL: [TO RYAN] [MAK CLICKG NOIS LIKE SHOOTG A GUN] HEY!DWIGHT: MICHAEL AND I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL NNECTN. HE'S LIKE BATMAN, I'M LIKE ROB. HE'S LIKE THE LONE RANGER, AND I'M LIKE TONTO. AND 'S NOT LIKE THERE WAS THE LONE RANGER, AND TONTO, AND BONTO.OSR: [ BACKGROUND, ON PHONE] BUT SAYS NO LATE FEE... .DWIGHT: [ALARM SOUNDS] PEOPLE!ANGELA: OKAY! EVERYBODY!DWIGHT: THIS IS NOT A TT! MOVE TO THE EXS!ANGELA: DO NOT PANIC!DWIGHT: HEAD TOWARDS THE EXS.ANGELA: SAFETY PARTNERS.DWIGHT: GET UP OFF YOUR SKS!ANGELA: DO NOT PANIC.OSR: [ PHONE] NO, I DON'T HEAR ? ALRIGHT.DWIGHT: NO, PANIC IS WARRANTED!ANGELA: GO SGLE FILE L.OSR: [ PHONE] NO, NO. FISH THE...DWIGHT: THIS IS NOT AT DRILL!ANGELA: ARMS AT YOUR SIS! ARMS AT YOUR SIS!DWIGHT: PLEASE, MOVE QUICKLY! THIS IS A PAPER PANY, PEOPLE! STEP LIVELY!ANGELA: GO, LET'S GO.DWIGHT: THIS WHOLE PLACE IS A TR BOX, IS READY TO BLOW!DWIGHT: THIS IS NOT A TT! CAN YOU LEAVE?!PHYLLIS: OH, YOU SAY THAT EVERY TIME.DWIGHT: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?PHYLLIS: OH, BOY...DWIGHT: DO YOU WANT TO DIE? OUT!!ANGELA: ALRIGHT, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.DWIGHT: STANLEY! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BURN VICTIM?ANGELA: COME ON, YOU'RE SAFETY PARTNERS!DWIGHT: MOVE TO THE EXS!ANGELA: YOU'RE SAFETY PARTNERS!DWIGHT: WE'VE GOT SMOKE! WE'VE GOT SMOKE! SMOKE! GAH! [SPOTS KELLY] OH, KELLY! YOU'RE OKAY! I'VE GOT YOU!KELLY: I'M OKAY!DWIGHT: COVER YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH. BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE.KELLY: LET GO OF ME!DWIGHT: BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE. REMOVE YOUR STOCKGS. OKAY? THEY'LL MELT RIGHT TO YOUR FLH! STAY BELOW THE SMOKE LE. LET'S GO! CLEAR OUT, STAT! STAT MEANS NOW!MICHAEL: Y, I WAS THE FIRST ONE OUT. AND, Y, I'VE HEARD WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST. BUT, WE DO NOT EMPLOY CHILDREN. WE ARE NOT A SWEAT SHOP. THANKFULLY. AND, UH, WOMEN ARE EQUAL THE WORKPLACE BY LAW. SO, I LET THEM OUT FIRST, I HAVE A LAWSU ON MY HANDS.MICHAEL: ANOTHER LE OF BS IS BEG ABLE TO ADAPT TO DIFFERENT SUATNS.RYAN: YEAH.MICHAEL: ADAPT. REACT. RE-ADAPT. ACT. ALL RIGHT? THAT'S LE NUMBER TWO.DWIGHT: OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN UP, WE NEED A HEAD UNT. WE NEED TO UNT OFF. MICHAEL'S NUMBER ONE. WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?MICHAEL: SO WHAT WAS LE TWO?RYAN: AH... ADAPT, REACT, RE-ADAPT, ACT.MICHAEL: OKAY, WELL, LET'S... . LET'S KD OF TAKE A LTLE SLOWER.DWIGHT: HEY, MICHAEL. UM... RYAN NEEDS HIS NUMBER FOR THE UNT OFF.MICHAEL: OKAY, UH, WELL, ONE IS TAKEN.RYAN: UH, OKAY, TWO?DWIGHT: NO!RYAN: OKAY... UH, SORRY?DWIGHT: OKAY, HE N HAVE 14. MARJORY'S NOT HERE TODAY.MICHAEL: WELL, HE NEEDS A PERMANENT NUMBER, RIGHT?RYAN: NO.RYAN: ...I DON'T.DWIGHT: OH, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I THOUGHT OF A NICKNAME FOR THE THREE OF . THREE MKETEERS.MICHAEL: UM, YEAH. OKAY. THAT... NO, NO, NO. I GOT ONE. I GOT ONE. THE THREE STOOG.DWIGHT: THAT'S FUNNY, TOO. BUT IF WE'RE THE THREE MKETEERS...RYAN: I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE "A GUY" HERE. YOU KNOW? LIKE, STANLEY IS THE "CROSSWORD PUZZLE GUY". AND ANGELA HAS TS. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A THG... HERE. YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE "SOMETHG GUY".JIM: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM GOG TO BE, UH, SETTG THE AGENDA HERE. OKAY? CAN EVERYBODY GATHER UP, PLEASE? IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. I THK THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNY FOR ALL OF TO PARTICIPATE SOME REALLY TENSE, PSYCHOLOGILLY REVEALG NVERSATNS. SO WE'RE GOG TO BE PLAYG DERT ISLAND, UMM, WHO WOULD YOU DO?STANLEY: OOH.JIM: AND, UM...PAM: .. YOU RATHER?JIM: WOULD YOU RATHER. WOULD YOU RATHER IS OUR THIRD GAME.DWIGHT: [TO FIREMEN] HEY GUYS, GREAT RPONSE TIME. LISTEN UP, I GOT SOME THEORI. OKAY, THERE'S A...JIM: OKAY, SO... THREE BOOKS ON A SERT ISLAND? ANGELA.ANGELA: THE BIBLE.STANLEY: THAT'S ONE BOOK. YOU'VE GOT TWO OTHERS.ANGELA: A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE.JIM: NICE. THIRD BOOK?ANGELA: NO.JIM: OKAY. PHYLLIS.PHYLLIS: UM, THE DAVCI CO.ANGELA: THE DAVCI CO!JIM: NICE.ANGELA: I WOULD TAKE THE DAVCI CO... SO I ULD BURN THE DAVCI CO.DWIGHT: OKAY. GREAT, THAT'S GOG TO KEEP YOU WARM FOR LIKE 7 SENDS. QUTN: IS THERE FIRE WOOD ON THE ISLAND?JIM: I GUS.DWIGHT: THEN I WOULD BRG AN AXE, NO BOOKS.JIM: UH, HAS TO BE A BOOK, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: FE. PHYSICIAN'S DK REFERENCE.JIM: NICE. SMART.DWIGHT: ...HOLLOWED OUT, SI: WATERPROOF MATCH, DE TABLETS, BEET SEEDS, PROTE BARS, NASA BLANKET, AND, SE I GET BORED, HARRY POTTER AND SORCERER'S STONE. NO, HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN. QUTN: DID MY SHO E OFF THE PLANE CRASH?MICHAEL: RULE NUMBER FOUR. IN BS, IMAGE IS EVERYTHG - ANDRE AGASSI. THIS R IS AN VTMENT. RIGHT? IF I HAVE TO TAKE OUT A CLIENT OR I'M SEEN AROUND SCRANTON . I LOVE . I LOVE THIS R. DO YOU LIKE ?RYAN: YEAH.JIM: OKAY. THOUGHT PEOPLE READ MORE BOOKS.JIM: DVDS! FIVE MOVI. WHAT WOULD YOU BRG TO THE ISLAND? Y! MEREDH?MEREDH: LEGENDS OF THE FALL, MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDG, LEGALLY BLOND, BRIDG OF MADISON COUNTY...JIM: WOW.PAM: LEGENDS OF THE FALL?JIM: WOW. BRIDG OF MADISON COUNTY, LEGALLY BLOND, THE MOVI ARE JT... .PAM: WELL, I KD OF LIKED LEGAL...JIM: WA, WA, WA. PAM. NO. DO YOU UNRSTAND? THE... THE GAME IS DERT ISLAND MOVI, NOT GUILTY PLEASURE MOVI. DERT ISLAND MOVI ARE THE MOVI YOU'RE GOG TO WATCH FOR THE RT OF YOUR LIFE! FOREVER! UNFIVABLE.PAM: I TAKE BACK.JIM: UNFIVABLE.PAM: I TAKE BACK!JIM: GOOD.MEREDH: .. GHOST. BUT, AH, JT THAT ONE SCENE...DWIGHT: IS THIS YOUR R, RYAN?MICHAEL: WOW, SOME PRETTY BIG BOOKS BACK THERE, HUH?RYAN: [TO DWIGHT] DON'T...DWIGHT: GOOD SHOCKS.MICHAEL: HELLO, MR. EGGHEAD! WOOP! SO... OH, STANLEY KAPLAN! I KNOW HIM. 'M' IS FOR MURR, 'P' IS FOR...RYAN: THAT'S ACTUALLY A TT PREP BOOK.MICHAEL: .. PHONE. WHAT?RYAN: THAT'S A TT PREP FOR BS SCHOOL.MICHAEL: UM, OH, THKG ABOUT BS SCHOOL?RYAN: I JT GOT . I APPLIED, I GO AT NIGHT.MICHAEL: REALLY?RYAN: YEAH.MICHAEL: SO YOU THK YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT BS?RYAN: NO, NOT YET.MICHAEL: UH HUH.RYAN: JT STARTED.MICHAEL: YEAH. QUIZ ME.RYAN: I... WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.MICHAEL: COME ON, EGGHEAD. LET'S DO .DWIGHT: DO .MICHAEL: QUIZ ME UP.RYAN: ALL RIGHT, UM... WHY HAVE PEOPLE BEEN RETHKG THE MICROSOFT MOL THE PAST FEW YEARS?MICHAEL: UH...MICHAEL: WHEN I WAS RYAN'S AGE, I WORKED A FAST FOOD RTRANT, TO SAVE UP MONEY FOR SCHOOL. AND THEN I SPE... LOST A PYRAMID SCHEME. BUT I LEARNED MORE ABOUT BS, RIGHT THEN AND THERE, THAN BS SCHOOL WOULD EVER TEACH ME, OR RYAN WOULD EVER TEACH ME.RYAN: IS CHEAPER TO SIGN A NEW CTOMER? OR TO KEEP AN EXISTG CTOMER?DWIGHT: KEEP AN EXISTG...MICHAEL: [TO DWIGHT] SHUT, . CAN I... N I JT DO PLEASE? [TO RYAN] UH, 'S EQUAL.RYAN: IT IS TEN TIM MORE EXPENSIVE TO SIGN A NEW CTOMER.MICHAEL: OKAY. Y! IT WAS A TRICK QUTN.DWIGHT: YEAH, BUT LOOK, I MEAN, HE DIDN'T NEED BS SCHOOL. OKAY, MICHAEL OM THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS.MICHAEL: OKAY, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: SELF TGHT. YOU DIDN'T EVEN GO TO LLEGE.MICHAEL: YOU KNOW WHAT, DWIGHT? YOU DON'T NEED TO HELP ME HERE. OKAY? WELL, YOU KNOW... MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO BS SCHOOL LIKE RYAN, THEN... THEN YOU'D KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKG ABOUT.DWIGHT: [SFFS] COME ON. I'M STUDYG WH THE MASTER, HUH?MICHAEL: FOR STANCE, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO BS...DWIGHT: [TO RYAN] YOU SHOULD LEARN OM HIM, RIGHT?RYAN: I AM.DWIGHT: RIGHT?RYAN: I AM.MICHAEL: STOP. DWIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ACTG LIKE A DORK. WOULD YOU OL ? PLEASE. OKAY. HEY! HE'S NOT YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD BROTHER, DWIGHT. HE'S A VALUED MEMBER OF THIS PANY... AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT BS THAN YOU EVER WILL.DWIGHT: STUPID!MICHAEL: I DID NOT GO TO BS SCHOOL. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE DIDN'T GO TO BS SCHOOL? LEBRON JAM, TRACY MCGRADY, KOBE BRYANT. THEY WENT RIGHT OM HIGH SCHOOL TO THE NBA. SO... SO 'S NOT THE SAME THG. AT ALL.MICHAEL: LOOK AT THIS STUFF. MARKET AGMENTS. WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?RYAN: IT'S A WAY OF LOOKG AT NSUMERS AS SUBSETS OF A LARGER CLIENT BASE.MICHAEL: YOU ARE SO SMART. YOU ARE SO EFF-' SMART. YOU SHOULD BE TEACHG ME.JIM: PAM? GET BACK TO .PAM: OKAY.JIM: FIVE MOVI. GO AHEAD.PAM: UM, FARGO, UM, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, DAZED AND CONFED...JIM: OOH, FELY MY TOP FIVE.PAM: Y. IN MY TOP THREE, SO SUCK .JIM: WHAT?PAM: BREAKFAST CLUB. UM... THE PRCS BRI AND...JIM: OKAY THAT'S FIVE.PAM: NO, MY ALL TIME FAVORE!JIM: PAM, PLAY BY THE L.PAM: ALL TIME FAVORE.JIM: PLAY BY THE L. DWIGHT. ALL TIME FAVORE MOVIE.DWIGHT: THE CROW.MICHAEL: I BEME A SALMAN... BEE OF PEOPLE, I LOVE MAKG IENDS. BUT THEN I WAS PROMOTED TO MANAGER, AT A VERY YOUNG AGE. I STILL TRY TO BE A IEND FIRST, BUT... YOU KNOW? I'M VERY SUCCSFUL... YOUR WORKERS LOOK AT YOU DIFFERENTLY. HUU, WHAT DO YOU THK?RYAN: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET SOME AIR.MICHAEL: NAH, I'M OKAY.RYAN: I'M REALLY UNFORTABLE.JIM: ALL RIGHT. LET'S MOVE ON. LET'S MOVE ON TO THE MA EVENT. WHO WOULD YOU DO?KEV: PRENT PANY EXCLUD?JIM: UM, NOT NECCSARI...KEV: PAM.OSR: PAM.JIM: UM... OKAY. AH, YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE I'LL... I'LL FISH EXPLAG THE L. LET'S... LET ME EXPLA FIRST, AND THEN...SONG: ["EVERYBODY HURTS" BY R.E.M.] THK YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH / THIS LIFE.JIM: YEAH, SO WE'LL GET RIGHT... YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. STANLEY, YOU'RE TAKG OVER FOR ME, BUDDY. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.STANLEY: OKAY, UM...JIM: DWIGHT. DWIGHT.SONG: EVERYBODY HURTS,JIM: COME ON DWIGHT! USE WORDS.SONG: SOMETIM... .DWIGHT: WHY DIDN'T I GO TO BS SCHOOL?JIM: WHO GO TO BS SCHOOL?DWIGHT: THE TEMP.JIM: HE DO?DWIGHT: YEAH, 'S ALL HIM AND MICHAEL TALK ABOUT ANYMORE.PAM: YOU KNOW, I BET RYAN THKS TO HIMSELF 'I WISH I WERE A VOLUNTEER SHERIFF ON THE WEEKENDS'.DWIGHT: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT I DO THAT.PAM: YOU SHOULD TELL HIM.DWIGHT: OH YEAH, PAM. RIGHT. THAT'S GOG TO HELP THGS, JT TALK OUT. I HOPE THE WAR GO ON FOREVER AND RYAN GETS DRAFTED.PAM: DWIGHT.JIM: WHAT?DWIGHT: I'M SORRY I SAID THAT, I DIDN'T... JT PART OF ME MEANT . BIS, HE'D END UP BEG A HERO ANYWAY.JIM: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? YOU SHOULD QU. AND THEN, THAT WOULD STICK TO BOTH OF THEM.DWIGHT: OH JIM, I'M NOT GOG TO QU. THEN RYAN WS.JIM: YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.DWIGHT: THANKS YOU GUYS. I JT NEED SOME ALONE TIME.PAM: KAY.SONG: EVERYBODY HURTSJIM: ALRIGHT BUDDY.SONG: EVERYBODY CRIROY: HEY! GUYS, WHAT'S GOG ON?JIM: NOTHG.PAM: HEY!SONG: EVERYBODY HURTSROY: WHAT'S UP? CAN I HANG OUT WH YOU GUYS FOR A B?SONG: SOMETIMROY: THE WAREHOE GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF JACKASS SOMETIM.STANLEY: COME ON PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THE L OF THE GAME NOW.MICHAEL: OH, HEY. GAME, WHAT GAME ARE WE PLAYG HERE?STANLEY: OKAY. IT'S LLED WHO WOULD YOU DO?MICHAEL: OH, I PLAY THIS AT HOME ALL THE TIME WHILE I'M FALLG ASLEEP. WHAT, UH... . WHERE ARE WE? WHERE ARE WE HERE? MMM.. ROY? ROY? WHO WOULD YOU DO, ROY?ROY: UH... OH, I GOT ! UH, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT, UH, TIGHT ASS, UH, CHRISTIAN, UH, CHICK. THE, UH, THE BLOND?ANGELA: MY NAME IS ANGELA.ROY: HEY, ANGELA! ROY. NICE TO MEET YOU.MICHAEL: AAAALL RIGHT. WHO'S NEXT, WHO'S NEXT, WHO'S NEXT, WHO'S? JIM? YOU'RE NEXT. WHO WOULD YOU DO?JIM: UM... KEV, HANDS DOWN. YEAH. HE'S REALLY GOT THAT TEDDY BEAR THG GOG ON, AND AFTERWARDS, WE ULD JT WATCH BOWLG.MICHAEL: WELL, I WOULD FELY HAVE SEX WH RYAN. 'CSE HE IS GOG TO OWN HIS OWN BS.ROY: YOU'RE ALL GAY.MICHAEL: WHO'S, UH... WHO'S NEXT? WHO WE GOT? WHOOO...RYAN: [ANSWERS PHONE] HEY, NO, I N TALK, I N TALK, I N TALK... THIS IS GREAT TIMG.MICHAEL: WISH I HAD MY CELL PHONE, BUT I LEFT SI. SO...DWIGHT: WOULD THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?MICHAEL: WHAT'S THAT?DWIGHT: IF YOU HAD YOUR CELL PHONE, WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY?MICHAEL: YEAH.DWIGHT: I'M ON .MICHAEL: DWIGHT. HEY!ANGELA: YOU N'T GO YET!MICHAEL: DWIGHT, DON'T! HE IS AN IDT. THE MAN IS AN IDT, LADI AND GENTLEMEN.KEV: WHAT IF HE DI THE FIRE? AND THAT'S THE LAST THG YOU EVER SAID TO HIM.MICHAEL: I DIDN'T SAY TO HIM. I SAID ABOUT HIM.MEREDH: ..PHYLLIS: DEFELY JIM.KELLY: DEFELY, FELY, JIM.PHYLLIS: COME ON, PAM.KELLY: HOW ABOUT YOU PAM?PAM: UM... OSR'S KD OF CUTE.PHYLLIS: YEAH, I LIKE OSR.PAM: OOH, TOBY!MICHAEL: [ THE BACKGROUND] HOW LONG DO TAKE TO FD A CELL PHONE? I DON'T KNOW EHER.MEREDH: IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE.KEV: [CLEARS HIS THROAT]JIM: [ON THE PHONE] HEY, WHERE ARE YOU? OH GOOD. YEAH. WE'RE JT HERE, WE'RE PLAYG DERT ISLAND. IT'S WHEN YOU PICK YOUR FIVE FAVORE DVDS...MICHAEL: SERLY, WHERE THE HELL IS DWIGHT? HEY, LL MY CELL PHONE. IT'LL MAKE EASIER FOR HIM TO FD.RYAN: WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?MICHAEL: I GAVE TO YOU THE R.RYAN: UM...MICHAEL: I SAW YOU PROGRAM .RYAN: YOU GOT TO... YOU GOT TO GIVE TO ME AGA.MICHAEL: OKAY. ALRIGHT.RYAN: NOW I HAVE .MICHAEL: UH, I BETTER TELL SOMEBODY. [TO FIREMAN] EXCE ME, SIR...DWIGHT: [UGHG]MICHAEL: DWIGHT!? GREAT GO'. GOD, MAN! WHY DID YOU GO THERE? WHAT... EVERYBODY WAS SRED OUT OF THEIR WS, MAN? OOOH.DWIGHT: [UGHG] EVERYONE, OKAY? UH, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. APPARENTLY, BS SCHOOL, THEY DON'T TEACH YOU HOW TO OPERATE A TOASTER OVEN. BEE SOME SMART, SEXY TEMP LEFT HIS CHEE PA ON OVEN STEAD OF TIMG FOR THE TOASTER THG.MICHAEL: WOW. OKAY. WELL, I GUS THEY DON'T TEACH HOW TO OPERATE A TOASTER OVEN BS SCHOOL.DWIGHT: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.MICHAEL: HEY, DID YOU MISS THAT DAY THERE, RYAN?DWIGHT: WERE YOU ABSENT?MICHAEL: TOASTER OVEN 101?DWIGHT: YOU FAILED?RYAN: I AM SO SORRY.MICHAEL: HEY! I KNOW WHAT'LL IMPRS EVERYBODY, I'LL START A FIRE. OH, MAN. BAD IA. BAD IA JEANS.DWIGHT: I HAVE A SONG. ATTENTN, EVERYONE! THAT I WANT TO SG. THAT I WROTE PECIALLY FOR THIS OCSN WHEN I WAS UP THERE AMONG THE FLAM. READY? [SGS TO BILLY JOEL'S "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE"] RYAN STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNG SCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNG!DWIGHT AND MICHAEL: [SGG] RYAN STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNG---DWIGHT: EVERYBODY!MICHAEL: [SGG] .. THE WORLD WAS TURNG.RYAN: I N'T BELIEVE I STARTED THE FIRE.DWIGHT AND MICHAEL: [SG GIBBERISH TO "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE"]DWIGHT: [SGG] ... MARILYN MONROE!DWIGHT AND MICHAEL: [SGG] RYAN STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNG...DWIGHT: EAT ! YOU GOTTA EAT . YOU HAVE TO EAT !KATY: HI!JIM: HEY.KATY: HOW ARE YOU?JIM: GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?KATY: I'M GOOD. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.JIM: GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO.KATY: I'M HUNGRY.JIM: YEAH, I AM TOO.KATY: OH, I HAVE BEEN THKG THE WHOLE WAY OVER AND I HAVE MY ANSWERS.JIM: WHAT ANSWERS?KATY: UM, FOR THE... THE SERT ISLAND.JIM: OH! RIGHT! RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, E-AH ON, ON, ON. [TO EVERYONE] LADI AND GENTLEMEN! GATHER AROUND! WE HAVE ONE MORE PARTICIPANT. COME ON, BE POLE. BE POLE. [TO KATY] DERT ISLAND. FIVE MOVI. GO.KATY: OKAY, UM, FIRST, LEGALLY BLOND.PAM: I FOT WHAT A SUPER, NICE GIRL KATY IS. AND JT... GOOD FOR JIM! THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER. AND, UM, WHAT AN ADORABLE R.JIM: OKAY, I THK THE GAME'S OVER... PEOPLE ARE LIKE LEAVG. THERE WAS A BIGGER CROWD LAST TIME. DO YOU JT WANT TO GO TO LUNCH?KATY: OKAY.JIM: YEAH?KATY: ALRIGHT! YOU WANT TO DRIVE?JIM: SURE.KATY: ALRIGHT.KATY: [LOOKG AT ROY AND PAM] THEY ARE SOO CUTE.RYAN: I'M REALLY SORRY, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: ANSWER ME THIS, THOUGH.RYAN: WHAT?DWIGHT: WAS WORTH ? WAS WORTH TEMP?RYAN: NO.KEV: WAS WORTH ?DWIGHT: REALLY?RYAN: I'M REALLY SORRY, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: THE FIRE GUY! THE FIRE GUY!DWIGHT: [SGS] JOE MCCARTHY, RICHARD NIXON, STUBAKER, TELEVISN, NORTH KOREA, SOUTH KOREA, MARILYN MONROE, RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!MICHAEL: OKAY. RULE FIVE - SAFETY FIRST, I.E. DON'T BURN THE BUILDG DOWN. OKAY? THAT SHOULD BE A NO BRAER.MICHAEL: OH... LOOK! RYAN IS BOOK SMART. AND I AM STREET SMART. AND BOOK SMART.MICHAEL: I'LL GIVE YOU THE RT OF THE TEN TOMORROW.EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT
• YOU’RE GAYAXCXTRACK 21 ON I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DIE FEB. 11, 19971 VIEWER5 CONTRIBUTORSYOU’RE GAY LYRICS[CHOS:]Y-O-U-R-E-G-A-Y, YOU'RE GAY [X4]YOU VOLUNTEER FOR CHARY WORK—YOU'RE GAYYOU RE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT—YOU'RE GAYYOU'RE A BALLET DANCER—YOU'RE GAYYOU'RE A KE RATOR—YOU'RE GAY[CHOS]YOU SUBSCRIBE TO HONCHO—YOU'RE GAYYOU GO TO FASHN SHOWS—YOU'RE GAYYOU LOVE PLAYG HACKY SACK—YOU'RE GAYYOU GO TO POETRY READGS—YOU'RE GAYY-O-U-R-E-G-A-Y, YOU'RE GAYYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKEEMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTHAVE THE SI SOP ON THIS SONG?SIGN UP AND DROP SOME KNOWLEDGESTART THE SONG BASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHEN DID AXCX RELEASE “YOU'RE GAY”?WHO WROTE “YOU'RE GAY” BY AXCX?I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DIE (1997)AXCX1. JACK KEVORKIAN IS COOL2. VALUJET3. YOU’VE GOT NO FRIENDS4. YOU KEEP A DIARY5. YOU OWN A STORE6. YOU GOT DATE RAPED7. RECYCLG IS GAY8. YOU’RE A COP9. YOU CAN’T SHUT UP10. YOU’VE GOT CANCER11. WE JT DISAGREE12. HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS13. YOU ARE AN INTERR DERATOR14. POTTERY’S GAY15. RICH GOYETTE IS GAY16. BRANSBE RICHMOND17. YOU LIVE IN ALLSTON18. YOU ARE A FOOD CRIC19. JT THE TWO OF US20. YOUR BAND’S IN THE CUT-OUT B21. YOU’RE GAY22. YOU LOOK ADOPTED23. YOUR CO IS GEE LYNCH24. YOU HAVE GOALS25. YOU DRIVE AN IROC26. YOU PLAY ON A SOFTBALL TEAM27. BEE YOU’RE OLD28. YOU SELL COLOGNE29. BEG A COBBLER IS DUMB30. YOU LIVE A HOEBOAT31. RICHARD BUTLER32. 311 SUCKS33. YOUR KID IS DEFORMED34. YOU ARE AN ORPHAN35. YOU’RE OLD (FUCK YOU)36. YOU GO TO ART SCHOOL37. YOUR BT FRIEND IS YOU38. YOU’RE A COMA39. WDCHIM ARE GAY40. NO, WE DON’T WANT TO DO A SPL SEVEN INCH WH YOUR STUPID FUCKG BAND41. RENé AUBERJONOIS42. THE INTER IS GAY43. HA HA, YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU44. HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH45. YOU WENT TO SEE DISHWALLA AND EVERCLEAR (YOU’RE GAY)46. LOCKG DROP DEAD IN MCDONALDS47. TECHNOLOGY’S GAY48. YOUR FAVORE BAND IS SUPERTRAMP49. I’M IN A.C.50. YOU (FILL IN THE BLANK)51. KYLE FROM INNTATN HAS A MTACHE52. BON TRACK #3CREDSWRTEN BYSETH PUTNAMRELEASE DATEFEBARY 11, 1997TAGSROCKGRDREEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE GAY

You’re all gay The Office. Of urse only a gay man uld dump me. |Intifyg as Gay.

Gay dividuals are romantilly or sexually attracted to people who are the same genr as them. If you’re more aroed by people who are the same genr as you, you might be gay. Keep md that experienc of sexual aroal are extremely nuanced, and aren’t ncrete proof that you’re gay.

For stance, you n be aroed by gay adult media whout necsarily beg gay yourself. If you tend to velop csh on people who are the same genr as you, uld be a sign that you’re gay.

‘SUCCSN’ WRER SAYS ROY FAY MEMBER WAS ALMOST GAY

You n be gay even if you’ve had straight relatnships the past. If you felt unfortable wh physil ntact wh each girl, you may be gay. If you often fantasize about relatnships volvg specific genrs, you may be queer or gay.

AM I GAY?

You may be gay, but you uld also be pansexual or bisexual if you sometim thk about the other genr. Don’t assume you’re gay based on how you walk, talk, or drs.

DR. ROY GAY

You’ve probably heard stereotyp about what mak someone gay, but none of the are te. Siarly, walkg or dancg a certa way don’t make you gay, eher. For stance, havg a high-pched voice as a guy don’t make you gay.

How do you know if you’re gay?

If you enjoy flirtg wh the same genr, you might be gay or queer.

SEASON 2 EPISO 4: “THE FIRE”THE OFFICE (USA)TRACK 4 ON SEASON 2 PRODUCED BYDEEDLE-DEE PRODUCTNS & REVEILLE PRODUCTNSOCT. 11, 20051 VIEWER26.8K VIEWS1 CONTRIBUTORSEASON 2 EPISO 4: “THE FIRE” LYRICSPAM: DUNR MIFFL, THIS IS PAM. SURE, N I ASK WHO'S LLG? JT A SEND.JIM: JIM HALPERT. WHAT? HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER? STALKER.PAM: KATY AND JIM MET THE OFFICE. AND NOW I GUS THEY'RE LIKE GOG OUT, OR DATG, OR SOMETHG. AND, UH... I DON'T KNOW! YOU KNOW? THEY'RE JT... SHE LLS HIM, AND THEY... YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY. I FEEL LIKE I'M TALKG REALLY LOUD. AM I TALKG REALLY LOUD?JIM: SO WE'RE STILL ON FOR LUNCH? YOU'RE MEETG ME HERE? OKAY. GREAT. BYE.PAM: [TO JIM] HEY! YOU N JT GIVE HER YOUR EXTENSN.JIM: OKAY.MICHAEL: HOWARD, SLASH RYAN, RYAN HOWARD IS STG MY OFFICE. AND HE HAS BEEN A TEMP HERE FOR A UPLE OF MONTHS AND HE'S KD OF GOTTEN THE LAY OF THE LAND A LTLE B. HAD A FEW LGHS ALONG THE WAY. AND NOW HE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I THK.RYAN: THE TEMP AGENCY WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU THK.MICHAEL: SHALL WE? LET PROCEED. FIRST UP, PROFICIENCY NECSARY SKILLS. AAAAEEEXCELLENT! [LGHS]DWIGHT: MICHAEL'S THERE RIGHT NOW EVALUATG THE TEMP. HE HASN'T EVALUATED ME YEARS.MICHAEL: FIVE YEARS OM NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE?RYAN: AH, WELL, I'M TERTED BS.MICHAEL: OH! GOOD. AMB. EXCELLENT. WANT TO BE A MANAGER?RYAN: UH, NO, ACTUALLY, UH, WHAT I WANT IS TO OWN MY OWN PANY.MICHAEL: THAT IS RIDICULO.MICHAEL: RYAN'S ABOUT TO ATTEND THE MICHAEL STT SCHOOL OF BS. I'M LIKE MR. MIYAGI AND YODA ROLLED TO ONE.MICHAEL: [SPEAKS A YODA VOICE] MUCH ADVICE YOU SEEK. [REGULAR VOICE] DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?RYAN: FOZZIE BEAR?MICHAEL: MMM... NO. THAT WAS YODA.MICHAEL: THERE ARE TEN L OF BS THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN. NUMBER ONE: YOU NEED TO PLAY TO W. BUT... YOU ALSO HAVE TO W TO PLAY.RYAN: GOT .MICHAEL: AND I WILL GIVE YOU THE RT OF THE TEN AT LUNCH.MICHAEL: [TO RYAN] [MAK CLICKG NOIS LIKE SHOOTG A GUN] HEY!DWIGHT: MICHAEL AND I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL NNECTN. HE'S LIKE BATMAN, I'M LIKE ROB. HE'S LIKE THE LONE RANGER, AND I'M LIKE TONTO. AND 'S NOT LIKE THERE WAS THE LONE RANGER, AND TONTO, AND BONTO.OSR: [ BACKGROUND, ON PHONE] BUT SAYS NO LATE FEE... .DWIGHT: [ALARM SOUNDS] PEOPLE!ANGELA: OKAY! EVERYBODY!DWIGHT: THIS IS NOT A TT! MOVE TO THE EXS!ANGELA: DO NOT PANIC!DWIGHT: HEAD TOWARDS THE EXS.ANGELA: SAFETY PARTNERS.DWIGHT: GET UP OFF YOUR SKS!ANGELA: DO NOT PANIC.OSR: [ PHONE] NO, I DON'T HEAR ? ALRIGHT.DWIGHT: NO, PANIC IS WARRANTED!ANGELA: GO SGLE FILE L.OSR: [ PHONE] NO, NO. FISH THE...DWIGHT: THIS IS NOT AT DRILL!ANGELA: ARMS AT YOUR SIS! ARMS AT YOUR SIS!DWIGHT: PLEASE, MOVE QUICKLY! THIS IS A PAPER PANY, PEOPLE! STEP LIVELY!ANGELA: GO, LET'S GO.DWIGHT: THIS WHOLE PLACE IS A TR BOX, IS READY TO BLOW!DWIGHT: THIS IS NOT A TT! CAN YOU LEAVE?!PHYLLIS: OH, YOU SAY THAT EVERY TIME.DWIGHT: DO YOU WANT TO DIE?PHYLLIS: OH, BOY...DWIGHT: DO YOU WANT TO DIE? OUT!!ANGELA: ALRIGHT, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.DWIGHT: STANLEY! HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BURN VICTIM?ANGELA: COME ON, YOU'RE SAFETY PARTNERS!DWIGHT: MOVE TO THE EXS!ANGELA: YOU'RE SAFETY PARTNERS!DWIGHT: WE'VE GOT SMOKE! WE'VE GOT SMOKE! SMOKE! GAH! [SPOTS KELLY] OH, KELLY! YOU'RE OKAY! I'VE GOT YOU!KELLY: I'M OKAY!DWIGHT: COVER YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH. BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE.KELLY: LET GO OF ME!DWIGHT: BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE. REMOVE YOUR STOCKGS. OKAY? THEY'LL MELT RIGHT TO YOUR FLH! STAY BELOW THE SMOKE LE. LET'S GO! CLEAR OUT, STAT! STAT MEANS NOW!MICHAEL: Y, I WAS THE FIRST ONE OUT. AND, Y, I'VE HEARD WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST. BUT, WE DO NOT EMPLOY CHILDREN. WE ARE NOT A SWEAT SHOP. THANKFULLY. AND, UH, WOMEN ARE EQUAL THE WORKPLACE BY LAW. SO, I LET THEM OUT FIRST, I HAVE A LAWSU ON MY HANDS.MICHAEL: ANOTHER LE OF BS IS BEG ABLE TO ADAPT TO DIFFERENT SUATNS.RYAN: YEAH.MICHAEL: ADAPT. REACT. RE-ADAPT. ACT. ALL RIGHT? THAT'S LE NUMBER TWO.DWIGHT: OKAY, GUYS, LISTEN UP, WE NEED A HEAD UNT. WE NEED TO UNT OFF. MICHAEL'S NUMBER ONE. WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE?MICHAEL: SO WHAT WAS LE TWO?RYAN: AH... ADAPT, REACT, RE-ADAPT, ACT.MICHAEL: OKAY, WELL, LET'S... . LET'S KD OF TAKE A LTLE SLOWER.DWIGHT: HEY, MICHAEL. UM... RYAN NEEDS HIS NUMBER FOR THE UNT OFF.MICHAEL: OKAY, UH, WELL, ONE IS TAKEN.RYAN: UH, OKAY, TWO?DWIGHT: NO!RYAN: OKAY... UH, SORRY?DWIGHT: OKAY, HE N HAVE 14. MARJORY'S NOT HERE TODAY.MICHAEL: WELL, HE NEEDS A PERMANENT NUMBER, RIGHT?RYAN: NO.RYAN: ...I DON'T.DWIGHT: OH, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I THOUGHT OF A NICKNAME FOR THE THREE OF . THREE MKETEERS.MICHAEL: UM, YEAH. OKAY. THAT... NO, NO, NO. I GOT ONE. I GOT ONE. THE THREE STOOG.DWIGHT: THAT'S FUNNY, TOO. BUT IF WE'RE THE THREE MKETEERS...RYAN: I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE "A GUY" HERE. YOU KNOW? LIKE, STANLEY IS THE "CROSSWORD PUZZLE GUY". AND ANGELA HAS TS. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A THG... HERE. YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE "SOMETHG GUY".JIM: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM GOG TO BE, UH, SETTG THE AGENDA HERE. OKAY? CAN EVERYBODY GATHER UP, PLEASE? IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. I THK THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNY FOR ALL OF TO PARTICIPATE SOME REALLY TENSE, PSYCHOLOGILLY REVEALG NVERSATNS. SO WE'RE GOG TO BE PLAYG DERT ISLAND, UMM, WHO WOULD YOU DO?STANLEY: OOH.JIM: AND, UM...PAM: .. YOU RATHER?JIM: WOULD YOU RATHER. WOULD YOU RATHER IS OUR THIRD GAME.DWIGHT: [TO FIREMEN] HEY GUYS, GREAT RPONSE TIME. LISTEN UP, I GOT SOME THEORI. OKAY, THERE'S A...JIM: OKAY, SO... THREE BOOKS ON A SERT ISLAND? ANGELA.ANGELA: THE BIBLE.STANLEY: THAT'S ONE BOOK. YOU'VE GOT TWO OTHERS.ANGELA: A PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE.JIM: NICE. THIRD BOOK?ANGELA: NO.JIM: OKAY. PHYLLIS.PHYLLIS: UM, THE DAVCI CO.ANGELA: THE DAVCI CO!JIM: NICE.ANGELA: I WOULD TAKE THE DAVCI CO... SO I ULD BURN THE DAVCI CO.DWIGHT: OKAY. GREAT, THAT'S GOG TO KEEP YOU WARM FOR LIKE 7 SENDS. QUTN: IS THERE FIRE WOOD ON THE ISLAND?JIM: I GUS.DWIGHT: THEN I WOULD BRG AN AXE, NO BOOKS.JIM: UH, HAS TO BE A BOOK, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: FE. PHYSICIAN'S DK REFERENCE.JIM: NICE. SMART.DWIGHT: ...HOLLOWED OUT, SI: WATERPROOF MATCH, DE TABLETS, BEET SEEDS, PROTE BARS, NASA BLANKET, AND, SE I GET BORED, HARRY POTTER AND SORCERER'S STONE. NO, HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN. QUTN: DID MY SHO E OFF THE PLANE CRASH?MICHAEL: RULE NUMBER FOUR. IN BS, IMAGE IS EVERYTHG - ANDRE AGASSI. THIS R IS AN VTMENT. RIGHT? IF I HAVE TO TAKE OUT A CLIENT OR I'M SEEN AROUND SCRANTON . I LOVE . I LOVE THIS R. DO YOU LIKE ?RYAN: YEAH.JIM: OKAY. THOUGHT PEOPLE READ MORE BOOKS.JIM: DVDS! FIVE MOVI. WHAT WOULD YOU BRG TO THE ISLAND? Y! MEREDH?MEREDH: LEGENDS OF THE FALL, MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDG, LEGALLY BLOND, BRIDG OF MADISON COUNTY...JIM: WOW.PAM: LEGENDS OF THE FALL?JIM: WOW. BRIDG OF MADISON COUNTY, LEGALLY BLOND, THE MOVI ARE JT... .PAM: WELL, I KD OF LIKED LEGAL...JIM: WA, WA, WA. PAM. NO. DO YOU UNRSTAND? THE... THE GAME IS DERT ISLAND MOVI, NOT GUILTY PLEASURE MOVI. DERT ISLAND MOVI ARE THE MOVI YOU'RE GOG TO WATCH FOR THE RT OF YOUR LIFE! FOREVER! UNFIVABLE.PAM: I TAKE BACK.JIM: UNFIVABLE.PAM: I TAKE BACK!JIM: GOOD.MEREDH: .. GHOST. BUT, AH, JT THAT ONE SCENE...DWIGHT: IS THIS YOUR R, RYAN?MICHAEL: WOW, SOME PRETTY BIG BOOKS BACK THERE, HUH?RYAN: [TO DWIGHT] DON'T...DWIGHT: GOOD SHOCKS.MICHAEL: HELLO, MR. EGGHEAD! WOOP! SO... OH, STANLEY KAPLAN! I KNOW HIM. 'M' IS FOR MURR, 'P' IS FOR...RYAN: THAT'S ACTUALLY A TT PREP BOOK.MICHAEL: .. PHONE. WHAT?RYAN: THAT'S A TT PREP FOR BS SCHOOL.MICHAEL: UM, OH, THKG ABOUT BS SCHOOL?RYAN: I JT GOT . I APPLIED, I GO AT NIGHT.MICHAEL: REALLY?RYAN: YEAH.MICHAEL: SO YOU THK YOU KNOW A LOT ABOUT BS?RYAN: NO, NOT YET.MICHAEL: UH HUH.RYAN: JT STARTED.MICHAEL: YEAH. QUIZ ME.RYAN: I... WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.MICHAEL: COME ON, EGGHEAD. LET'S DO .DWIGHT: DO .MICHAEL: QUIZ ME UP.RYAN: ALL RIGHT, UM... WHY HAVE PEOPLE BEEN RETHKG THE MICROSOFT MOL THE PAST FEW YEARS?MICHAEL: UH...MICHAEL: WHEN I WAS RYAN'S AGE, I WORKED A FAST FOOD RTRANT, TO SAVE UP MONEY FOR SCHOOL. AND THEN I SPE... LOST A PYRAMID SCHEME. BUT I LEARNED MORE ABOUT BS, RIGHT THEN AND THERE, THAN BS SCHOOL WOULD EVER TEACH ME, OR RYAN WOULD EVER TEACH ME.RYAN: IS CHEAPER TO SIGN A NEW CTOMER? OR TO KEEP AN EXISTG CTOMER?DWIGHT: KEEP AN EXISTG...MICHAEL: [TO DWIGHT] SHUT, . CAN I... N I JT DO PLEASE? [TO RYAN] UH, 'S EQUAL.RYAN: IT IS TEN TIM MORE EXPENSIVE TO SIGN A NEW CTOMER.MICHAEL: OKAY. Y! IT WAS A TRICK QUTN.DWIGHT: YEAH, BUT LOOK, I MEAN, HE DIDN'T NEED BS SCHOOL. OKAY, MICHAEL OM THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS.MICHAEL: OKAY, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: SELF TGHT. YOU DIDN'T EVEN GO TO LLEGE.MICHAEL: YOU KNOW WHAT, DWIGHT? YOU DON'T NEED TO HELP ME HERE. OKAY? WELL, YOU KNOW... MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO BS SCHOOL LIKE RYAN, THEN... THEN YOU'D KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKG ABOUT.DWIGHT: [SFFS] COME ON. I'M STUDYG WH THE MASTER, HUH?MICHAEL: FOR STANCE, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO BS...DWIGHT: [TO RYAN] YOU SHOULD LEARN OM HIM, RIGHT?RYAN: I AM.DWIGHT: RIGHT?RYAN: I AM.MICHAEL: STOP. DWIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE ACTG LIKE A DORK. WOULD YOU OL ? PLEASE. OKAY. HEY! HE'S NOT YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD BROTHER, DWIGHT. HE'S A VALUED MEMBER OF THIS PANY... AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT BS THAN YOU EVER WILL.DWIGHT: STUPID!MICHAEL: I DID NOT GO TO BS SCHOOL. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE DIDN'T GO TO BS SCHOOL? LEBRON JAM, TRACY MCGRADY, KOBE BRYANT. THEY WENT RIGHT OM HIGH SCHOOL TO THE NBA. SO... SO 'S NOT THE SAME THG. AT ALL.MICHAEL: LOOK AT THIS STUFF. MARKET AGMENTS. WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE?RYAN: IT'S A WAY OF LOOKG AT NSUMERS AS SUBSETS OF A LARGER CLIENT BASE.MICHAEL: YOU ARE SO SMART. YOU ARE SO EFF-' SMART. YOU SHOULD BE TEACHG ME.JIM: PAM? GET BACK TO .PAM: OKAY.JIM: FIVE MOVI. GO AHEAD.PAM: UM, FARGO, UM, EDWARD SCISSORHANDS, DAZED AND CONFED...JIM: OOH, FELY MY TOP FIVE.PAM: Y. IN MY TOP THREE, SO SUCK .JIM: WHAT?PAM: BREAKFAST CLUB. UM... THE PRCS BRI AND...JIM: OKAY THAT'S FIVE.PAM: NO, MY ALL TIME FAVORE!JIM: PAM, PLAY BY THE L.PAM: ALL TIME FAVORE.JIM: PLAY BY THE L. DWIGHT. ALL TIME FAVORE MOVIE.DWIGHT: THE CROW.MICHAEL: I BEME A SALMAN... BEE OF PEOPLE, I LOVE MAKG IENDS. BUT THEN I WAS PROMOTED TO MANAGER, AT A VERY YOUNG AGE. I STILL TRY TO BE A IEND FIRST, BUT... YOU KNOW? I'M VERY SUCCSFUL... YOUR WORKERS LOOK AT YOU DIFFERENTLY. HUU, WHAT DO YOU THK?RYAN: MAYBE WE SHOULD GET SOME AIR.MICHAEL: NAH, I'M OKAY.RYAN: I'M REALLY UNFORTABLE.JIM: ALL RIGHT. LET'S MOVE ON. LET'S MOVE ON TO THE MA EVENT. WHO WOULD YOU DO?KEV: PRENT PANY EXCLUD?JIM: UM, NOT NECCSARI...KEV: PAM.OSR: PAM.JIM: UM... OKAY. AH, YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE I'LL... I'LL FISH EXPLAG THE L. LET'S... LET ME EXPLA FIRST, AND THEN...SONG: ["EVERYBODY HURTS" BY R.E.M.] THK YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH / THIS LIFE.JIM: YEAH, SO WE'LL GET RIGHT... YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. STANLEY, YOU'RE TAKG OVER FOR ME, BUDDY. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.STANLEY: OKAY, UM...JIM: DWIGHT. DWIGHT.SONG: EVERYBODY HURTS,JIM: COME ON DWIGHT! USE WORDS.SONG: SOMETIM... .DWIGHT: WHY DIDN'T I GO TO BS SCHOOL?JIM: WHO GO TO BS SCHOOL?DWIGHT: THE TEMP.JIM: HE DO?DWIGHT: YEAH, 'S ALL HIM AND MICHAEL TALK ABOUT ANYMORE.PAM: YOU KNOW, I BET RYAN THKS TO HIMSELF 'I WISH I WERE A VOLUNTEER SHERIFF ON THE WEEKENDS'.DWIGHT: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT I DO THAT.PAM: YOU SHOULD TELL HIM.DWIGHT: OH YEAH, PAM. RIGHT. THAT'S GOG TO HELP THGS, JT TALK OUT. I HOPE THE WAR GO ON FOREVER AND RYAN GETS DRAFTED.PAM: DWIGHT.JIM: WHAT?DWIGHT: I'M SORRY I SAID THAT, I DIDN'T... JT PART OF ME MEANT . BIS, HE'D END UP BEG A HERO ANYWAY.JIM: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? YOU SHOULD QU. AND THEN, THAT WOULD STICK TO BOTH OF THEM.DWIGHT: OH JIM, I'M NOT GOG TO QU. THEN RYAN WS.JIM: YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT.DWIGHT: THANKS YOU GUYS. I JT NEED SOME ALONE TIME.PAM: KAY.SONG: EVERYBODY HURTSJIM: ALRIGHT BUDDY.SONG: EVERYBODY CRIROY: HEY! GUYS, WHAT'S GOG ON?JIM: NOTHG.PAM: HEY!SONG: EVERYBODY HURTSROY: WHAT'S UP? CAN I HANG OUT WH YOU GUYS FOR A B?SONG: SOMETIMROY: THE WAREHOE GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF JACKASS SOMETIM.STANLEY: COME ON PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THE L OF THE GAME NOW.MICHAEL: OH, HEY. GAME, WHAT GAME ARE WE PLAYG HERE?STANLEY: OKAY. IT'S LLED WHO WOULD YOU DO?MICHAEL: OH, I PLAY THIS AT HOME ALL THE TIME WHILE I'M FALLG ASLEEP. WHAT, UH... . WHERE ARE WE? WHERE ARE WE HERE? MMM.. ROY? ROY? WHO WOULD YOU DO, ROY?ROY: UH... OH, I GOT ! UH, WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT, UH, TIGHT ASS, UH, CHRISTIAN, UH, CHICK. THE, UH, THE BLOND?ANGELA: MY NAME IS ANGELA.ROY: HEY, ANGELA! ROY. NICE TO MEET YOU.MICHAEL: AAAALL RIGHT. WHO'S NEXT, WHO'S NEXT, WHO'S NEXT, WHO'S? JIM? YOU'RE NEXT. WHO WOULD YOU DO?JIM: UM... KEV, HANDS DOWN. YEAH. HE'S REALLY GOT THAT TEDDY BEAR THG GOG ON, AND AFTERWARDS, WE ULD JT WATCH BOWLG.MICHAEL: WELL, I WOULD FELY HAVE SEX WH RYAN. 'CSE HE IS GOG TO OWN HIS OWN BS.ROY: YOU'RE ALL GAY.MICHAEL: WHO'S, UH... WHO'S NEXT? WHO WE GOT? WHOOO...RYAN: [ANSWERS PHONE] HEY, NO, I N TALK, I N TALK, I N TALK... THIS IS GREAT TIMG.MICHAEL: WISH I HAD MY CELL PHONE, BUT I LEFT SI. SO...DWIGHT: WOULD THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?MICHAEL: WHAT'S THAT?DWIGHT: IF YOU HAD YOUR CELL PHONE, WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY?MICHAEL: YEAH.DWIGHT: I'M ON .MICHAEL: DWIGHT. HEY!ANGELA: YOU N'T GO YET!MICHAEL: DWIGHT, DON'T! HE IS AN IDT. THE MAN IS AN IDT, LADI AND GENTLEMEN.KEV: WHAT IF HE DI THE FIRE? AND THAT'S THE LAST THG YOU EVER SAID TO HIM.MICHAEL: I DIDN'T SAY TO HIM. I SAID ABOUT HIM.MEREDH: ..PHYLLIS: DEFELY JIM.KELLY: DEFELY, FELY, JIM.PHYLLIS: COME ON, PAM.KELLY: HOW ABOUT YOU PAM?PAM: UM... OSR'S KD OF CUTE.PHYLLIS: YEAH, I LIKE OSR.PAM: OOH, TOBY!MICHAEL: [ THE BACKGROUND] HOW LONG DO TAKE TO FD A CELL PHONE? I DON'T KNOW EHER.MEREDH: IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE.KEV: [CLEARS HIS THROAT]JIM: [ON THE PHONE] HEY, WHERE ARE YOU? OH GOOD. YEAH. WE'RE JT HERE, WE'RE PLAYG DERT ISLAND. IT'S WHEN YOU PICK YOUR FIVE FAVORE DVDS...MICHAEL: SERLY, WHERE THE HELL IS DWIGHT? HEY, LL MY CELL PHONE. IT'LL MAKE EASIER FOR HIM TO FD.RYAN: WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?MICHAEL: I GAVE TO YOU THE R.RYAN: UM...MICHAEL: I SAW YOU PROGRAM .RYAN: YOU GOT TO... YOU GOT TO GIVE TO ME AGA.MICHAEL: OKAY. ALRIGHT.RYAN: NOW I HAVE .MICHAEL: UH, I BETTER TELL SOMEBODY. [TO FIREMAN] EXCE ME, SIR...DWIGHT: [UGHG]MICHAEL: DWIGHT!? GREAT GO'. GOD, MAN! WHY DID YOU GO THERE? WHAT... EVERYBODY WAS SRED OUT OF THEIR WS, MAN? OOOH.DWIGHT: [UGHG] EVERYONE, OKAY? UH, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. APPARENTLY, BS SCHOOL, THEY DON'T TEACH YOU HOW TO OPERATE A TOASTER OVEN. BEE SOME SMART, SEXY TEMP LEFT HIS CHEE PA ON OVEN STEAD OF TIMG FOR THE TOASTER THG.MICHAEL: WOW. OKAY. WELL, I GUS THEY DON'T TEACH HOW TO OPERATE A TOASTER OVEN BS SCHOOL.DWIGHT: THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.MICHAEL: HEY, DID YOU MISS THAT DAY THERE, RYAN?DWIGHT: WERE YOU ABSENT?MICHAEL: TOASTER OVEN 101?DWIGHT: YOU FAILED?RYAN: I AM SO SORRY.MICHAEL: HEY! I KNOW WHAT'LL IMPRS EVERYBODY, I'LL START A FIRE. OH, MAN. BAD IA. BAD IA JEANS.DWIGHT: I HAVE A SONG. ATTENTN, EVERYONE! THAT I WANT TO SG. THAT I WROTE PECIALLY FOR THIS OCSN WHEN I WAS UP THERE AMONG THE FLAM. READY? [SGS TO BILLY JOEL'S "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE"] RYAN STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNG SCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNG!DWIGHT AND MICHAEL: [SGG] RYAN STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNG---DWIGHT: EVERYBODY!MICHAEL: [SGG] .. THE WORLD WAS TURNG.RYAN: I N'T BELIEVE I STARTED THE FIRE.DWIGHT AND MICHAEL: [SG GIBBERISH TO "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE"]DWIGHT: [SGG] ... MARILYN MONROE!DWIGHT AND MICHAEL: [SGG] RYAN STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNG...DWIGHT: EAT ! YOU GOTTA EAT . YOU HAVE TO EAT !KATY: HI!JIM: HEY.KATY: HOW ARE YOU?JIM: GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?KATY: I'M GOOD. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.JIM: GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO.KATY: I'M HUNGRY.JIM: YEAH, I AM TOO.KATY: OH, I HAVE BEEN THKG THE WHOLE WAY OVER AND I HAVE MY ANSWERS.JIM: WHAT ANSWERS?KATY: UM, FOR THE... THE SERT ISLAND.JIM: OH! RIGHT! RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, E-AH ON, ON, ON. [TO EVERYONE] LADI AND GENTLEMEN! GATHER AROUND! WE HAVE ONE MORE PARTICIPANT. COME ON, BE POLE. BE POLE. [TO KATY] DERT ISLAND. FIVE MOVI. GO.KATY: OKAY, UM, FIRST, LEGALLY BLOND.PAM: I FOT WHAT A SUPER, NICE GIRL KATY IS. AND JT... GOOD FOR JIM! THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER. AND, UM, WHAT AN ADORABLE R.JIM: OKAY, I THK THE GAME'S OVER... PEOPLE ARE LIKE LEAVG. THERE WAS A BIGGER CROWD LAST TIME. DO YOU JT WANT TO GO TO LUNCH?KATY: OKAY.JIM: YEAH?KATY: ALRIGHT! YOU WANT TO DRIVE?JIM: SURE.KATY: ALRIGHT.KATY: [LOOKG AT ROY AND PAM] THEY ARE SOO CUTE.RYAN: I'M REALLY SORRY, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: ANSWER ME THIS, THOUGH.RYAN: WHAT?DWIGHT: WAS WORTH ? WAS WORTH TEMP?RYAN: NO.KEV: WAS WORTH ?DWIGHT: REALLY?RYAN: I'M REALLY SORRY, DWIGHT.DWIGHT: THE FIRE GUY! THE FIRE GUY!DWIGHT: [SGS] JOE MCCARTHY, RICHARD NIXON, STUBAKER, TELEVISN, NORTH KOREA, SOUTH KOREA, MARILYN MONROE, RYAN STARTED THE FIRE!MICHAEL: OKAY. RULE FIVE - SAFETY FIRST, I.E. DON'T BURN THE BUILDG DOWN. OKAY? THAT SHOULD BE A NO BRAER.MICHAEL: OH... LOOK! RYAN IS BOOK SMART. AND I AM STREET SMART. AND BOOK SMART.MICHAEL: I'LL GIVE YOU THE RT OF THE TEN TOMORROW.EMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUT

Keep md that even if you have a sexual experience wh someone of the same genr or another genr, that don’t necsarily mean that you’re gay. Thgs would be so simple if you uld jt label yourself as gay and be done wh , but may not be that easy. If you’re not ready to tell everyone that you’re gay, that’s okay!

YOU’RE GAYAXCXTRACK 21 ON I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DIE FEB. 11, 19971 VIEWER5 CONTRIBUTORSYOU’RE GAY LYRICS[CHOS:]Y-O-U-R-E-G-A-Y, YOU'RE GAY [X4]YOU VOLUNTEER FOR CHARY WORK—YOU'RE GAYYOU RE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT—YOU'RE GAYYOU'RE A BALLET DANCER—YOU'RE GAYYOU'RE A KE RATOR—YOU'RE GAY[CHOS]YOU SUBSCRIBE TO HONCHO—YOU'RE GAYYOU GO TO FASHN SHOWS—YOU'RE GAYYOU LOVE PLAYG HACKY SACK—YOU'RE GAYYOU GO TO POETRY READGS—YOU'RE GAYY-O-U-R-E-G-A-Y, YOU'RE GAYYOU MIGHT ALSO LIKEEMBEDCANCELHOW TO FORMAT LYRICS:TYPE OUT ALL LYRICS, EVEN REPEATG SONG PARTS LIKE THE CHOSLYRICS SHOULD BE BROKEN DOWN TO DIVIDUAL LUSE SECTN HEARS ABOVE DIFFERENT SONG PARTS LIKE [VERSE], [CHOS], ETC.USE ALICS (<I>LYRIC</I>) AND BOLD (<B>LYRIC</B>) TO DISTGUISH BETWEEN DIFFERENT VOLISTS THE SAME SONG PARTIF YOU DON’T UNRSTAND A LYRIC, E [?]TO LEARN MORE, CHECK OUT OUR TRANSCRIPTN GUI OR VIS OUR TRANSCRIBERS FOMABOUTHAVE THE SI SOP ON THIS SONG?SIGN UP AND DROP SOME KNOWLEDGESTART THE SONG BASK A QUTN ABOUT THIS SONGASK A QUTN *‌WHEN DID AXCX RELEASE “YOU'RE GAY”?WHO WROTE “YOU'RE GAY” BY AXCX?I LIKE IT WHEN YOU DIE (1997)AXCX1. JACK KEVORKIAN IS COOL2. VALUJET3. YOU’VE GOT NO FRIENDS4. YOU KEEP A DIARY5. YOU OWN A STORE6. YOU GOT DATE RAPED7. RECYCLG IS GAY8. YOU’RE A COP9. YOU CAN’T SHUT UP10. YOU’VE GOT CANCER11. WE JT DISAGREE12. HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS13. YOU ARE AN INTERR DERATOR14. POTTERY’S GAY15. RICH GOYETTE IS GAY16. BRANSBE RICHMOND17. YOU LIVE IN ALLSTON18. YOU ARE A FOOD CRIC19. JT THE TWO OF US20. YOUR BAND’S IN THE CUT-OUT B21. YOU’RE GAY22. YOU LOOK ADOPTED23. YOUR CO IS GEE LYNCH24. YOU HAVE GOALS25. YOU DRIVE AN IROC26. YOU PLAY ON A SOFTBALL TEAM27. BEE YOU’RE OLD28. YOU SELL COLOGNE29. BEG A COBBLER IS DUMB30. YOU LIVE A HOEBOAT31. RICHARD BUTLER32. 311 SUCKS33. YOUR KID IS DEFORMED34. YOU ARE AN ORPHAN35. YOU’RE OLD (FUCK YOU)36. YOU GO TO ART SCHOOL37. YOUR BT FRIEND IS YOU38. YOU’RE A COMA39. WDCHIM ARE GAY40. NO, WE DON’T WANT TO DO A SPL SEVEN INCH WH YOUR STUPID FUCKG BAND41. RENé AUBERJONOIS42. THE INTER IS GAY43. HA HA, YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU44. HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH45. YOU WENT TO SEE DISHWALLA AND EVERCLEAR (YOU’RE GAY)46. LOCKG DROP DEAD IN MCDONALDS47. TECHNOLOGY’S GAY48. YOUR FAVORE BAND IS SUPERTRAMP49. I’M IN A.C.50. YOU (FILL IN THE BLANK)51. KYLE FROM INNTATN HAS A MTACHE52. BON TRACK #3CREDSWRTEN BYSETH PUTNAMRELEASE DATEFEBARY 11, 1997TAGSROCKGRDREEXPAND COMMENTSADD A MENTSIGN UP AND DROP KNOWLEDGE ?GENI IS THE ULTIMATE SOURCE OF MIC KNOWLEDGE, CREATED BY SCHOLARS LIKE YOU WHO SHARE FACTS AND SIGHT ABOUT THE SONGS AND ARTISTS THEY LOVE.SIGN UPGENI IS THE WORLD’S BIGGT LLECTN OF SONG LYRICS AND MIL KNOWLEDGE

However, you might later realize you’re gay.