Gay "Sis": How Language Fre Us to be Ourselv | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV
• SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"
• GAY
• WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY
• I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’
• POWER FNS OF GAY SIS

GAY "SIS": HOW LANGUAGE FRE US TO BE OURSELV

The gay male datg app, Grdr, recently add the sexual preference I created beyond jt top, bottom, and vers when to gay men engagg terurse: "si. That’s what happened 2013 when, an article I wrote for the Huffgton Post, “Guys on the Si, ” I created the term “si” for gay men who aren’t to beg a “top” or a “bottom” or practicg anal peratn. The term “Si” was created when 2010, I was talkg wh some lleagu about “tops” (gay men who prefer the sertive role durg peratn) and “bottoms” (gay men who prefer the receptive role durg peratn) and outed myself for beg a gay man who don’t engage anal terurse at all.

Beg a “top, ” “bottom, ” or “vers” (short for "versatile, " or someone who uld go eher way) were the only acceptable mols the gay muny, and I felt dissed for not ftg to the mold. About a year and a half ago I formed a Facebook group lled “Si Guys” and some of the guys the group started a petn to Grdr, the gay datg app, to add “si” to their list of preferred posns and filters. And now that Grdr has updated s settgs, gay men are addg as a sexual posn to their app self-intifyg as a si.

SI GUYS: THKG BEYOND GAY MALE "TOPS" AND "BOTTOMS"

Back 2011, an article was published the Journal of Sexual Medice which rearchers surveyed 25, 000 gay and bisexual men Ameri about their most recent sexual enunters, and only 36 percent said they had bottomed, and 34 percent said they had topped. Nearly 65 percent of gay and bisexual men didn’t have terurse as part of their most recent sexual experience at all.

Furthermore, a si n be a gay male, a bisexual male, a pansexual male, or fall unr the ace umbrella (asexual male/graysexual male/misexual male, etc. Dennis Fortenberry MD, MS Sexual Behavrs and Suatnal Characteristics of Most Recent Male-Partnered Sexual Event among Gay and Bisexually Intified Men the Uned Stat. A third add: “Personally I’m not crazy about the term ‘si’ (sounds to me like someone lyg there, dog not much) but ’s good that Grdr acknowledg that there’s more to gay sex than anal.

When to sex, whether you’re gay, bi, or straight, we’ve all been a ltle brawashed to believg that there is this thg lled “normal. In the gay male muny, ually, you’re eher nsired to be a “top, ” the perator, or a “bottom, ” the perated, or you’re versatile (n go eher way). But what if you’re a gay man who don’t enjoy anal sex or fds anal peratn paful, don’t like the feelg or the troublome amount of preparatn and cleang up need for to be a pleasurable experience, or simply don’t experience anal sex as erotic?

GAY

That’s why a 2013 article I wrote for Huffgton Post, "Guys on the ‘Si’: Lookg Beyond Gay Tops and Bottoms, " I began workg on popularizg the term “si” orr for the gay men to have the language to exprs their sexual and erotic preference. I’ve seen gay male clients who rry a load of shame about not likg or wantg to get or give anal sex. There are straight men who like havg anal sex and/or beg perated wh a dildo, and there are gay men who don’t.

Often ed to refer to asexual people  a siar manner as “gay” or “straight” are ed to refer to homosexual or heterosexual people.

Ally: A person who supports and rpects sexual diversy, acts acrdgly to challenge homophobic and heterosexist remarks and behavrs, and is willg to explore and unrstand the forms of bias wh themselv. An umbrella term that refers to members of a subculture the gay and bisexual male muni and is often fed as more of an attu or sense of fort wh natural masculy and bodi. Bicur: An dividual who typilly intifi as gay or straight while showg some cursy for a relatnship or sexual activy wh a person of the genr they do not favor.

WHAT DO IT MEAN TO BE GAY? DEFN AND MEANG OF GAY

Fluid: A sexual or genr inty that exists beyond a bary system of eher gay or straight, man or woman. Gay: At tim, “gay” is ed to refer to all people, regardls of sex, who have their primary sexual and or romantic attractns to people of the same sex. The term n also exclively refer to men who are emotnally, romantilly, sexually, affectnately, or relatnally attracted to other men, or who intify as members of the gay muny.

Heteronormativy: The assumptn, dividuals or stutns, that everyone is heterosexual, or that heterosexualy is superr to homosexualy and bisexualy.

Also, the benefs that lbians, gay men and bisexuals receive as a rult of claimg a heterosexual inty and nyg a lbian, gay or bisexual inty.

I’M GAY AND I’M NOT A TOP OR A BOTTOM – I’M A ‘SI’

Homoflexible: A person who is mostly attracted to the same sex/genr, but n, on ocsn be attracted to the oppose sex/genr.

Homophobia: Fear of, hatred of, or disfort wh people who love and sexually sire members of the same sex. Homophobic reactns often lead to tolerance, bigotry and vlence agast anyone not actg wh soc-cultural norms of heterosexualy. Bee most LGBTQ people are raised the same society as heterosexuals, they learn the same beliefs and stereotyp prevalent the domant society, leadg to a phenomenon known as ternalized homophobia, whereas LGBTQ-intified dividuals feel shame, guilt or hatred towards the part of themselv intified as LGBTQ.

Homosexual: The clil term, ed the field of psychology, for people wh a same-sex sexual attractn.

POWER FNS OF GAY SIS

Internalized Homophobia: The fear and self-hate of one’s own homosexualy or bisexualy dividuals who have learned negative ias about homosexualy throughout childhood. Ksey Sle: The ntuum mol vised by Aled Ksey 1948 that plotted sexualy om 0 to 6; 0 beg exclively heterosexual and 6 beg exclively homosexual. Leather culture is most visible gay muni and most often associated wh gay men (“leathermen”), but is also reflected var ways the gay, lbian, bisexual, and heterosexual worlds.