"That's So Gay" Is Jt So Wrong | Psychology Today

Contents:

• WHY GAY IS NOT OK
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• WHY GAY IS NOT OKAY
• BEG GAY IS NOT OKAY. BEG GAY IS COOLWHAT I LEARNED OM WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON (BY JOHN GREEN AND DAVID LEVHAN)ARSLAN ALI·FOLLOWPUBLISHED BOOKS ARE OUR SUPERPOWER·9 M READ·OCT 11, 2020--7SHAREIMAGE: AUTHORI WON’T START THIS ARTICLE BY SAYG “I’M NOT GAY.”EVEN THOUGH I’M JT BEGNG TO REALIZE THAT — A WAY — I DID. OR MAYBE I AM GAY, AND I’M JT AAID TO BE LABELLED AS GAY. THE LATTER BEG A FOOLISH THG TO FEAR, GIVEN THE FACT THAT BEG GAY IS OFFICIALLY THE SEND OLT THG YOU N BE (DON’T ASK ME WHAT THE FIRST IS. ALL RIGHT, I’LL GIVE YOU A CLUE: HAS TO DO WH LIVG A EEZER ON THE NORTH POLE).BUT LET’S FACE : BEG GAY IS NOT GENERALLY VIEWED AS A ‘OL’ THG. MATTER OF FACT, ’S VIEWED AS SOMETHG DISGTG. SOMETHG TO POT FGERS AT, AND SHIVER REPULSIVELY, MURMURG TO YOUR STRAIGHT, PERFECT KIDS TO STAY AWAY OM THAT.I’LL BE HONT: WHEN I STARTED READG WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON, I HAD MIXED FEELGS. IN PART, I WAS EXCED TO SUBMERGE MYSELF ANOTHER FANTASTIL JOHN GREEN BOOK, AND PART, I WAS NOT SO SURE ABOUT ALL THE GAY PART OF .NOW, BEFORE YOU CI TO KILL ME (SERLY, LM THE F*** DOWN), I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT (ULD YOU PLEASE PUT THAT KNIFE ON THE TABLE?), WHEN I SAY: “I WAS NOT SO SURE ABOUT ALL THE GAY PART OF ”, (DU, STOP RIGHT THERE)I DON’T MEAN THAT, REPULSIVE, SHIVERY SENSE. (BETTER NOW?) I MEAN A PURELY NON-OFFENSIVE WAY. LIKE, TO PUT PLALY, I WAS RIGHT THE MIDDLE OF THE TOLERANCE SPECTM. I WASN’T THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD GO RANDOMLY SHOOTG AT GAY UPL, BUT I WASN’T EHER THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD JO A PRI PARA (PLEASE, TELL ME THAT GUN ISN’T LOAD).THAT CHANGED AFTER I FISHED READG THE BOOK (WHICH WAS EXACTLY EIGHT HOURS AND TWENTY-THREE MUT AFTER I GLANCED AT THE FIRST LE).A FEW THGS TO KNOW
• GAY IS (NOT) OKAY?: QUEER INTI AT AN ALL-WOMEN'S HISTORILLY BLACK COLLEGE
• "THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG
• GAY IS OK! HOMEPAGE
• WHY "THAT'S SO GAY" IS NOT OKAY
• WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?
• WHY DO SOME CHRISTIANS BELIEVE ’S OK TO BE GAY, WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS ISN’T?
• WHY IS GAY NOT OKAY?

WHY GAY IS NOT OK

In 1993, a study published the journal Science showed that fai wh two homosexual brothers were very likely to have certa geic markers on a regn of the X chromosome known as Xq28. In 1991, a study published the journal Science seemed to show that the hypothalam, which ntrols the release of sex hormon om the puary gland, gay men differs om the hypothalam straight men. PET and MRI studi performed 2008 have shown that the two halv of the bra are more symmetril homosexual men and heterosexual women than heterosexual men and homosexual women.

The studi have also revealed that nnectns the amygdalas of gay men remble those of straight women; gay women, nnectns the amygdala remble those of straight men. Today, however, we know much more about the bra than we did when homosexualy was nsired a disease that required treatment, and the amount of knowledge that we have about the bra is creasg.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

If we fe beg gay as engagg homosexual behavr (the ncept of “gay” as an inty is a Wtern cultural ncept – people who have sex wh both men and women may ll themselv gay, straight or bisexual, pendg on the l of their culture or subculture), then people stop beg gay as soon as they stop engagg this behavr. I believe that people have the right to engage any behavr that they choose, as long as their actns do not harm others, and I believe that gay sex and gay relatnships do not e harm to anyone. (Of urse, there are abive and unhealthy gay relatnships that should not be tolerated, jt as there are unhealthy heterosexual relatnships that should not be tolerated.

If sexual preference n be altered, then people who support gay rights n’t rely on the argument that gay people should be protected om discrimatn bee gay people have no choice but to be gay – an argument that seems like an apology for homosexualy, as if homosexualy is a disease for which there is no cure.

WHY GAY IS NOT OKAY

Jt as gay people who are happy as they are should not be forced to change their sexual orientatn, gay people who want to be straight should have the right to change if they n – and the rrect word is “change” – not “cure”.

Photo creds: Vanuver Gay Pri Para 2008 by edallaluna on Wikimedia Commons; DNA by ynse on Wikimedia Commons; Bra fMRI by views exprsed are those of the thor(s) and are not necsarily those of Scientific Amerin. Usg this sle, the rearchers averaged figur supportg their claims that 10 percent of mal between the ag of 16 and 55 were more or ls exclively homosexual for at least three years.

Gordon Muir reported that he had found "substantial evince ditg that ls than 5 percent of men and women have had any homosexual ntact their lifetime, and no more than 3 percent of men and nsirably fewer women claim to be bisexual or exclively homosexual.

BEG GAY IS NOT OKAY. BEG GAY IS COOLWHAT I LEARNED OM WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON (BY JOHN GREEN AND DAVID LEVHAN)ARSLAN ALI·FOLLOWPUBLISHED BOOKS ARE OUR SUPERPOWER·9 M READ·OCT 11, 2020--7SHAREIMAGE: AUTHORI WON’T START THIS ARTICLE BY SAYG “I’M NOT GAY.”EVEN THOUGH I’M JT BEGNG TO REALIZE THAT — A WAY — I DID. OR MAYBE I AM GAY, AND I’M JT AAID TO BE LABELLED AS GAY. THE LATTER BEG A FOOLISH THG TO FEAR, GIVEN THE FACT THAT BEG GAY IS OFFICIALLY THE SEND OLT THG YOU N BE (DON’T ASK ME WHAT THE FIRST IS. ALL RIGHT, I’LL GIVE YOU A CLUE: HAS TO DO WH LIVG A EEZER ON THE NORTH POLE).BUT LET’S FACE : BEG GAY IS NOT GENERALLY VIEWED AS A ‘OL’ THG. MATTER OF FACT, ’S VIEWED AS SOMETHG DISGTG. SOMETHG TO POT FGERS AT, AND SHIVER REPULSIVELY, MURMURG TO YOUR STRAIGHT, PERFECT KIDS TO STAY AWAY OM THAT.I’LL BE HONT: WHEN I STARTED READG WILL GRAYSON, WILL GRAYSON, I HAD MIXED FEELGS. IN PART, I WAS EXCED TO SUBMERGE MYSELF ANOTHER FANTASTIL JOHN GREEN BOOK, AND PART, I WAS NOT SO SURE ABOUT ALL THE GAY PART OF .NOW, BEFORE YOU CI TO KILL ME (SERLY, LM THE F*** DOWN), I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT (ULD YOU PLEASE PUT THAT KNIFE ON THE TABLE?), WHEN I SAY: “I WAS NOT SO SURE ABOUT ALL THE GAY PART OF ”, (DU, STOP RIGHT THERE)I DON’T MEAN THAT, REPULSIVE, SHIVERY SENSE. (BETTER NOW?) I MEAN A PURELY NON-OFFENSIVE WAY. LIKE, TO PUT PLALY, I WAS RIGHT THE MIDDLE OF THE TOLERANCE SPECTM. I WASN’T THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD GO RANDOMLY SHOOTG AT GAY UPL, BUT I WASN’T EHER THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WOULD JO A PRI PARA (PLEASE, TELL ME THAT GUN ISN’T LOAD).THAT CHANGED AFTER I FISHED READG THE BOOK (WHICH WAS EXACTLY EIGHT HOURS AND TWENTY-THREE MUT AFTER I GLANCED AT THE FIRST LE).A FEW THGS TO KNOW

Even if rearchers were to suggt a heredary tie wh homosexualy, as they have wh alholism, the right tack wh this argument is not to ntend that 's false, but that promot life-threateng behavr. " While AIDS is no longer nsired jt a gay disease, s universaly often overshadows the fact that, acrdg to the Centers for Disease Control, "homosexuals ntue to make up the majory of s. " Consequently, the 1993 fdgs of three rearchers wh the Eastern Psychologil Associatn, quoted by Jefey Satover "Homosexualy and the Polics of Tth" (Baker), should e as no surprise.

Satover wr that "they found that the gay male lifpan, even apart om AIDS and wh a long-term partner, is signifintly shorter than that of married men general by more than three s. Mattison found that even homosexual men "permanent" relatnships tend to stray more often than heterosexual men: "Y, that wayward impulse is as evable man-to-man affairs as man-to-woman, only, for gays, starts chg faster.

GAY IS (NOT) OKAY?: QUEER INTI AT AN ALL-WOMEN'S HISTORILLY BLACK COLLEGE

So when we therapists are nonted wh male clients, often married on, who e to wh ep nflicts about their sexual attractn to other men, we often fd that they are willg to e the word “homosexual, ” but chew the “gay” label. Unfortunately, much of our natn’s polics have long exacerbated the problem as well, shamg and vilifyg homosexualy, leadg legns of men stgglg wh sexual inty to ternalize their homophobia.

I warned them of the pfalls of keepg their sexual orientatn secret: a life of creased prsn, pursug a secret life the gay unrground wh the danger of beg ught, how attemptg to supprs urg n often e them to bee even more obssed wh them.

They may need, om time to time, to seek further therapy, but wh the right therapist, one who has thoroughly unrstood the dangers of such practic of “reparative therapy” which the therapist seeks to change the client’s sexual inty om gay to straight.

"THAT'S SO GAY" IS JT SO WRONG

Bee the labels “homosexual” or “gay” rry such a stigma, some of the men seek help for their “sex addictn” and see their homosexualy as an actg out of same-sex urg. Many health re and mental health anizatns foced on the lbian, gay, bisexual and transgenr muny also offer substance e treatment or may be able to provi rmatn about lol rourc. Now, I want to beg by admtg that many of who teach what the Bible says, pecially when to homosexualy, have ma some mistak about this subject that I will try to avoid.

In part, I was exced to submerge myself another fantastil John Green book, and part, I was not so sure about all the gay part of, before you ci to kill me (serly, lm the f*** down), I would like to say that (uld you please put that knife on the table? I wasn’t the type of guy who would go randomly shootg at gay upl, but I wasn’t eher the type of guy who would jo a Pri Para (please, tell me that gun isn’t load) changed after I fished readg the book (which was exactly eight hours and twenty-three mut after I glanced at the first le).

” Furthermore, the purportedly shorter life spans and poorer physil and mental health of gays and lbians are often offered as reasons why they shouldn’t be allowed to adopt or foster children. Anyone who has done rearch this area of public health knows that active homosexual behavr is not a healthy liftyle, brgg tremendo leter physil and mental nsequenc. To plement this rearch I took a different approach: I examed 6, 089 obuari of homosexual men om four homosexual magaz: The Bay Area Reporter, the Washgton Bla, the New York Bla and This Week, published between 1980 to 2014 clive.

GAY IS OK! HOMEPAGE

In orr to be clud as a subject of this survey, a man had to be posively intified as a homosexual, which meant that only a actn of available obuari were ed this survey. Acrdg to the data om this survey, the average age of ath for male homosexuals hovered around a dismal 40 years until about 1995, and then began to rapidly improve.

The average life span of male homosexuals may eventually pare to that of the general male populatn, and “gay” activists will evably pot to this as proof that the active homosexual liftyle is safe and healthy. The rat of ath of homosexual men om ncer, heart disease, stroke and diabet are all signifintly lower than those of the general populatn, bee homosexuals simply do not live long enough to die om them at greater rat.

WHY "THAT'S SO GAY" IS NOT OKAY

To beg wh, ntrast to the obuari mastream newspapers, the on for homosexuals studly avoid g the words “died, ” “ad” and “ath, ” perhaps as kd of an avoidance of acknowledgg the very fact of ath self. What is most troublg is that at tim some homosexuals who learned that they were fected wh HIV ma nsc cisns to ntue practicg promiscuo sex, regardls of how many other liv were endangered. The term “homosexualy, ” while sometim nsired anachronistic the current era, is the most applible and easily translatable term to e when askg this qutn across societi and languag and has been ed other cross-natnal studi, cludg the World Valu Survey.

Dpe major chang laws and norms surroundg the issue of same-sex marriage and the rights of LGBT people around the world, public opn on the acceptance of homosexualy society remas sharply divid by untry, regn and enomic velopment. In many of the untri surveyed, there also are differenc on acceptance of homosexualy by age, tn, e and, some stanc, genr – and several s, the differenc are substantial. For example, some untri, those who are affiliated wh a relig group tend to be ls acceptg of homosexualy than those who are unaffiliated (a group sometim referred to as relig “non”).

For example, Swen, the Netherlands and Germany, all of which have a per-pa gross domtic product over $50, 000, acceptance of homosexualy is among the hight measured across the 34 untri surveyed. The study is a follow-up to a 2013 report that found many of the same patterns as seen today, although there has been an crease acceptance of homosexualy across many of the untri surveyed both years.

WHY ARE PEOPLE GAY? GAY BY CHOICE OR IS BEG GAY GEIC?

But sub-Saharan Ai, the Middle East, Rsia and Ukrae, few say that society should accept homosexualy; only South Ai (54%) and Israel (47%) do more than a quarter hold this view. However, while took nearly 15 years for acceptance to rise 13 pots om 2000 to jt before the feral legalizatn of gay marriage June 2015, there was a near equal rise acceptance jt the four years sce legalizatn. This difference was most pronounced South Korea, where 79% of 18- to 29-year-olds say homosexualy should be accepted by society, pared wh only 23% of those 50 and olr.

This staggerg 56-pot difference exceeds the next largt difference Japan by 20 pots, where 92% and 56% of those ag 18 to 29 and 50 and olr, rpectively, say homosexualy should be accepted by society. In most untri surveyed, those who have greater levels of tn are signifintly more likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted society than those who have ls tn. In a siar number of untri, those who earn more money than the untry’s natnal median e also are more likely to say they accept homosexualy society than those who earn ls.

WHY DO SOME CHRISTIANS BELIEVE ’S OK TO BE GAY, WHEN THE BIBLE SAYS ISN’T?

In many of the untri where there are measurements of iology on a left-right sle, those on the left tend to be more acceptg of homosexualy than those on the iologil right.

In South Korea, for example, those who classify themselv on the iologil left are more than twice as likely to say homosexualy is acceptable than those on the iologil right (a 39-percentage-pot difference). In a siar ve, those who support right-wg populist parti Europe, many of which are seen by LGBT groups as a threat to their rights, are ls supportive of homosexualy society. In Spa, people wh a favorable opn of the Vox party, which recently has begun to oppose some gay rights, are much ls likely to say that homosexualy is acceptable than those who do not support the party.

And Poland, supporters of the erng PiS (Law and Jtice), which has explicly targeted gay rights as anathema to tradnal Polish valu, are 23 percentage pots ls likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted by society than those who do not support the erng party. But even untri like France and Germany where acceptance of homosexualy is high, there are differenc between supporters and non-supporters of key right-wg populist parti such as Natnal Rally France and Alternative for Germany (AfD).

WHY IS GAY NOT OKAY?

Relign, both as relat to relative importance people’s liv and actual relig affiliatn, also plays a large role perceptns of the acceptabily of homosexualy many societi across the globe.

In 25 of the 34 untri surveyed, those who say relign is “somewhat, ” “not too” or “not at all” important their liv are more likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted than those who say relign is “very” important. Among Israelis, those who say relign is not very important their liv are almost three tim more likely than those who say relign is very important to say that society should accept homosexualy. For example, those who are religly unaffiliated, sometim lled relig “non, ” (that is, those who intify as atheist, agnostic or “nothg particular”) tend to be more acceptg of homosexualy.

Though the opns of religly unaffiliated people n vary wily, virtually every untry surveyed wh a sufficient number of unaffiliated rponnts, “non” are more acceptg of homosexualy than the affiliated. Koreans who are religly unaffiliated are about twice as likely to say that homosexualy should be accepted by society (60%) as those who are Christian (24%) or Buddhist (31%). Do not be ceived: neher the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexualy, nor thiev, nor the greedy, nor dnkards, nor revilers, nor swdlers will her the kgdom of God.