In this week’s stallment of ¡Hola Papi!, John Pl Brammer addrs that funny thg we ll “gay culture.”
Contents:
- I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
- HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
- CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
- HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND GAY PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THEM
- HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
- 17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
- I LIKE GAY MALE PORN, BUT GAY MEN REAL LIFE EAK ME OUT.
I LIKE GUYS BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE GAY. HOW DO I STOP BEG GAY?
In our society today, people have many posns when to gay people. Some people offer acceptance and shelter om hatred and will work towards human rights. Others take the attu of "they're happy and not hurtg anyone," so... * i don like being gay *
You don’t need to be certa you are gay before talkg to someone or attendg an LGBTQ+ meetg. I have been out nearly 7 years now (age 16, sophomore year of HS). It is very homogeneo/ hetero-normative and beg a tholic stutn is not the easit environment for queer stunts.
There are many gay men who say "I'm not part of the scene" -- men who hate gay bars and, prumably, crowds of queer people general. Internalized homophobia -- self-shamg, self-hatred -- leads many gay men, and many queer people general, to recreate their closets long after they're "out" by shunng others, particularly those they nsir "flamboyant.
" Y, there are some good reasons to rce your participatn gay bars (time, money, health). But you mt spend time wh others, whether that means havg a group of gay movie iends or queer gamers or playg on a gay sports team. This parable piece by lbian wrer Sarah Prager go through the lp of great gays who changed the world -- om ventor Alan Turg to Tchaikovsky, the poser, to the Renaissance pater and ventor Leonardo da Vci.
HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
* i don like being gay *
AIDS vastated muni of gay men and transgenr women, particularly gay men and trans women of lor. Read the numbers: In four years, more than 5, 596 people the Uned Stat had died of AIDS, many of them gay men and transgenr women.
CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
But if I hadn't experienced all that adversy, I wouldn't be so furly proud to be gay. Fd a gay elr who's been where you are and r for your well-beg, someone who unrstands you and never pass judgment, someone who lets you make the mistak you need to make.
Tmp has repeatedly attacked transgenr servicemembers, and gay men are still beg hunted and murred Chechnya. There would be no ternalized self-hatred if no one had ever told you that beg gay is wrong, or that gay sex is disgtg, or that gay men n't feel real love, or that beg transgenr is fake, or that beg nonbary is a mental illns or a ll for attentn.
If you thk a word like "gay" or "queer" works for you right now (aga, don't have to work for you forever -- labels do not e wh lifetime ntracts) and you're not ready to tell everyone, simply say out loud to yourself. Hontly, sometim i wake up and absolutely hate myself for beg gay. In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all.
HOW TO BEHAVE AROUND GAY PEOPLE IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT THEM
If the sufferer is heterosexual, then the thought may be that they are homosexual.
If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight.
” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight). For those wh thoughts of beg homosexual, part of the distrs mt surely be social orig. Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng.
HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt.
Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.
17 SIGNS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GAY (AND JT DON'T KNOW IT)
Observg themselv for evince of “lookg, ” talkg, walkg, drsg, or gturg like someone who is eher gay or straight. Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person.
Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to. Can you sudnly turn to a homosexual (or heterosexual) even if you have never felt or acted that that way? If I get sexual sensatns when viewg sexual material of an oppose orientatn do mean I am gay (or straight)?
I LIKE GAY MALE PORN, BUT GAY MEN REAL LIFE EAK ME OUT.
A typil example would be a heterosexual man who experienc an erectn while lookg at gay eroti. This reactn is strengthened by the rrect belief that homosexual cu never stimulate heterosexuals. Avoidg standg close to, touchg or bshg agast members of the same sex (or oppose sex if the sufferer is gay).
Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects. Never sayg the words “gay, ” “homosexual, ” (or “straight”) or any other related term.
Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay). Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man), or mascule (if a woman), (aga vice versa if the sufferer is gay). Avoidg associatg wh anyone who may be gay or who seems to lean that directn (if the sufferer is heterosexual).