Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• PEOPLE N INTIFY WHETHER A MAN IS GAY OR STRAIGHT BY THEIR VOICE. BISEXUALS? NOT SO MUCH
• IS IT POSSIBLE TO SYSTEMATILLY TURN GAY PEOPLE STRAIGHT?
• WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
• STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
• HOW TO LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFTYLE IF YOU ARE GAY

PEOPLE N INTIFY WHETHER A MAN IS GAY OR STRAIGHT BY THEIR VOICE. BISEXUALS? NOT SO MUCH

End they go home to their wiv and male adult performers who go "gay for pay, " a term ed to scribe gay porn which two (or more) otherwise straight dus have sex on mera, the above scenar is jt another day at the Male Porn Stars Are Straight — But They Have Sex Wh Men for a LivgSource: YouTubeThis week, MTV is airg an episo of Te Life explorg the liv of two such performers, and their stggl to balance the seemgly nflictg mands of their profsnal and personal liv. They're risg stars the gay porn dtry, but will the prsur of every day life force them to rensir their lucrative reers? "Though the ble special is jt g out now, gay-for-pay porn is a fairly well-tablished phenomenon.

In straight porn, the pay for men is notorly lower than the pay for women, so "gay porn [actors] general make a lot more than straight porn, " Damian McKnight, the CEO and producer of the succsful gay-for-pay se Broke Straight Boys, told the Daily Dot last year.

In a book that me out earlier this year, Not Gay: Sex Between Straight Whe Men, thor Jane Ward argued that male sexualy is a lot more fluid than most of are willg to acknowledge. " she prevly told said, adult entertament publicist Mike Stabile told Mic that he believ the sexualy of a gay-for-pay porn star is likely to be a b more flexible than your average joe. "They seemed to have more of a fluid sexualy, or were jt extremely sexual, even if they intified as straight their private liv, " he said of the gay-for-pay actors he's worked wh the past.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO SYSTEMATILLY TURN GAY PEOPLE STRAIGHT?

"Of urse, there are some who are jt bee of the money, guys who sist on havg loud cellphone nversatns wh their girliends while on-set, or beg homophobic.

), another qutn remas: Why the hell are gay guys so drawn to porn featurg straight (or "straight") dus the first place? That's a ltle more plited, as some believe that gay men's tenncy to fetishize straight men engagg gay sex stems om a ep-rooted place of self-loathg or shame. "Bee of ternalized homophobia (which typilly looms large before and durg the early g-out procs), they're more often lookg for men who act mascule, " thor Joe Kort wrote 2013 for the Huffgton Post.

"Also, many gay guys thk straight guys are even hotter bee they're so naturally butch and hard to get. For stance, when gay-for-pay porn star Chris Tyler was asked by the Village Voice what the harst part of his job was, he answered:"Takg a 10-ch-pl dick. "Talk about workg hard for the out the full preview for MTV's Te Life: I'm a Gay for Pay Porn Star below:Source: YouTube.

WHY SOME STRAIGHT PEOPLE MIGHT HAVE GAY SEX

Wh this tt, you n fd out where you lie on the spectm of heterosexual, homosexual, allosexual, and asexual. Jt for funI'm spic that I may be gayI've never had a csh on anyone, and am unsure where I lie on the spectm of sexualyWhat would your ial partner be if you two are gog to spend a week on an island?

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

Havg sex wh the person I love mostCuddlg wh the person I love mostJt beg next to the person I love mostHangg out wh iends / beg aloneHow would you feel if your bt iend me out as gay?

Somehow, the origal “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” premiered on Bravo two s ago this month, prentg five gay men – each specializg a specific liftyle area – as they scend upon a (ually) heterosexual male subject need of some support, whether was wh clothg choic, groomg, anizatn or perhaps an unrlyg issue around self nfince. It was a novel take on the makeover ncept, not only terms of beg one of the first monstroly succsful programs the then-nascent realm of realy TV, but also one of the first tl to feature not one – but five – gay people as the leads. (For ntext, had only been five years sce the s “Ellen” got nceled, shortly after the ma character played by Ellen DeGener me out as gay.

Krsley agreed, sayg, “We meet people all the time who are probably their thirti now, who say, ‘I me om a very nservative fay, we were very relig, “Gay” was not somethg that was ever spoken about our home, and your show allowed to at least have that nversatn, if not make easier for me to e out.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

He add that of urse, isn’t only gay people who approach them wh spiratnal msag, and that at the time the origal show aired, the st saw how their visibily as gay people wh a larger straight world was beg received firsthand. “For many people, we were the first real, live, real life gay people that they actually enuntered, ” Krsley observed.

“And we were a very nocuo group of five gay men helpg a straight guy try to get the job, or the look, or the girl.

And for those who cricized the origal seri for rercg stereotyp by havg a gay fashnista or bety expert swoop to tidy thgs up, Colls creds his rint foodie Allen for a memorable moment at the show’s first NBC upont Los Angel back 2003, when he faced a slew of reporters and had the perfect retort. “Ted fally grabbed , really grabbed a hold of the answer, which was like, ‘Yeah, we are, as a matter of fact, owng the clich around the fact that gays have a different perspective, have a unique visn and perspective of a lot of different thgs. My last post scribed a populatn of mal who nsir themselv heterosexual, do not label themselv gay or bisexual, chew volvement wh the LGBT muny, are often married or romantilly volved wh an oppose-sex partner, and who engage sex wh mal or exprs the sire to do so.

HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)

Due large part to the popularizatn of the topic the btsellg 2005 book On the Down Low: A Journey to the Liv of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep wh Men, [i] Lato and Ain-Amerin men are the primary subjects rearch wh non-gay intified MSM. One of the earlit studi, "The Bisexual and Non-Gay Attached Rearch Project" om the early 1990s, found that participants engagg same-sex sexual behavr but not intifyg as gay or bisexual scribed themselv as “kky, ” “normal, ” or “jt a guy.

Siar fdgs were found throughout a seri of terviews wh non-gay intified MSM prepared for the Centers for Disease Control and Preventn 2004.

In tally, the men terviewed reported that if sexual activy between men was anonymo, experimental, ocsnal, or if substance e was volved, the act was not “gay. Fally, while there is nflictg data, appears that non-gay intified MSM engage high levels of dg and alhol e.

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

Usg this stricture as a gui, a man who has sex wh another male mt be gay (or bisexual at the least). Parsons, “Sexual Behavrs of Non-gay Intified Non-disclosg Men Who Have Sex wh Men and Women, ” Archiv of Sexual Behavr 37, no.

[iii] Daryl Hood, Garrett Prtage, June Crawford, Tania Sorrell, and Chris O’Reilly, "Report on the BANGAR Project: Bisexual Activy/non Gay Attachment Rearch Targetg Strategi Intifitn Project. [v] STD Communitns Database: Interviews wh Non-Gay Intified Men who have Sex wh Men (NGI MSM), ” (Atlanta, Geia: Orc Macro, 2005).

Ramamurthi, Cleo Manago, Serg Ava, and Marv Jon, “Sexual Behavr, Sexual Inty, and Substance Abe Among Low-Ine Bisexual and Non-Gay-Intifyg Ain Amerin Men Who Have Sex wh Men, ” Archiv of Sexual Behavr 37, no. “By unrstandg their same-sex sexual practice as meangls, accintal, or even necsary, straight whe men n perform homosexual ntact heterosexual ways…Ward argu that the real reason ‘straight’ men behave the ways is to ‘reaffirm rather than challenge their genr and racial inty’ and ‘to leverage whens and masculy to thentite their heterosexualy the ntext of sex wh men. What Ward don’t addrs is whether the straight men are actually straight or some other sexual orientatn — such as mostly straight, bisexual, or gay--nial/hidg.

HOW TO LEAD A HETEROSEXUAL LIFTYLE IF YOU ARE GAY

Bravo's origal Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was a groundbreakg realy seri for Amerin first eratn of Queer Eye premiered July 2003 and featured five gay men who were experts their given fields.

The origal st nsisted of Carson Krsley (the "fashn savant"), Jai Rodriguez (the "culture vulture"), Kyan Douglas (the "the groomg gu"), Ted Allen (the "food and we nnoissr"), and Thom Filicia (the "sign doctor") many ways, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy was one of the first popular realy seri to troduce several different typ of gay men to mastream dienc.