Gay, Not Gay, Straight, Not Straight | Psychology Today

Contents:

• GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT
• NOT GAY, NOT STRAIGHT: MEET THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO REFE TO FE THEIR SEXUALY
• SHERLOCK IS ‘NOT GAY, BUT NOT STRAIGHT EHER’ ACRDG TO STEVEN MOFFAT
• HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?
• IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?
• NOT GAY BUT NOT STRAIGHT?
• CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?
• I'M NOT GAY, STRAIGHT OR BI
• SYNONYMS FOR NOT GAY

GAY, NOT GAY, STRAIGHT, NOT STRAIGHT

If you’re a young man, you might assume that eher you’re straight or you’re not, meang you’re likely gay and maybe bisexual.

NOT GAY, NOT STRAIGHT: MEET THE YOUNG PEOPLE WHO REFE TO FE THEIR SEXUALY

Yet the evince suggts that more young men intify or scribe themselv as mostly straight than intify as eher bisexual or gay bed. Yet when the men were forced to choose between straight, bisexual or gay, about three-quarters marked straight bee for them bisexual, even if is unrstood as “bisexual-leang straight, ” is too gay to accurately scribe their inty.

SHERLOCK IS ‘NOT GAY, BUT NOT STRAIGHT EHER’ ACRDG TO STEVEN MOFFAT

Tradnally, our unrstandg has been that if you’re male and have even a slight attractn to the same sex, then you mt be gay. He’s not a closeted gay man who fears beg gay yet wants to keep a slight, perhaps secretive, gay si by danglg his potential for guy sex.

He may retreat om a full intifitn wh heterosexualy, but rarely do he gravate toward bisexualy, and almost never do he move toward homosexualy of any sort. And we believe that we unrstand somethg important about a person if we know whether she or he is straight or gay.

Regrettably, social and blogil scientists have been plic by parg straights vers gays/lbians their rearch signs, while fettg everyone else who don’t intify as one of the. Yet the mands for new rearch are real: Right now, we thk people are eher straight or gay, as if one drop of gayns mak you gay, even if this means distortg the sexual and romantic experienc of lns of teenagers and young adults who are neher gay nor straight.

HOW DO I KNOW I’M NOT REALLY GAY/STRAIGHT?

For19-year-old psychology stunt Greta Warren, the qutn of whether she f herself as gay or straight is a meangls terms, she believ, are jt labels. "It's somethg I found tratg durg the marriage referendum wh everyone mentg on and celebratg the gay and lbian right to marriage, wh ltle to no reference to everyone else on the sexualy spectm, " she might sound unual, but fact Greta's viewpot is one that more and more of her ntemporari share.

IS YOUR MAN GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?

A poll published the UK last week by YouGov showed that jt 46pc of 18 to 24-year-olds nsired themselv to be exclively straight, but only 6pc classed themselv as homosexual. "A lot of young people are more fortable to not intify any one strict tegory, " says Ois McKenna of youth webse "But 's te that they might also intify a unique kd of discrimatn, and even rejectn om gay or straight people.

This week, however, he took the opportuny today to set one very important thg clear: Sherlock Holm is not gay, but then he's not straight December, Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays Sherlock, hted at the fact that his character might be gay.

In orr to have doubts about one’s sexual inty, a sufferer need not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. If on the other hand they happen to be homosexual they may obss about the possibily that they might really be straight. ” Some people’s doubts are further plited by havg such experienc as hearg other people talkg or lookg their directn and thkg that the people mt be analyzg their behavr or appearance and talkg about them – discsg how they mt be gay (or straight).

NOT GAY BUT NOT STRAIGHT?

Let’s face , gay people have always been an opprsed mory wh our culture, and to sudnly thk of beg this posn, and to be stigmatized this way, n be ighteng. I have sometim wonred if those who experience the most distrs om such thoughts as the do so bee they were raised wh more strongly homophobic or anti-gay attus to beg wh, or if is simply bee one’s sexualy n be such a basic doubt. Lookg at attractive men or women, or pictur of them, or readg sexually oriented lerature or pornography (hetero- or homosexual), to see if they are sexually excg.

Compulsively reviewg and analyzg past teractns wh other men or women to see if they have acted like a gay or straight person. Readg articl on the ter about how an dividual n tell if they are gay or straight to see which group they might be most siar to.

CAN SOMEONE BE HOMOSEXUAL AND NOT GAY?

Not readg or lookg at vios news reports books or articl havg anythg to do wh gay people or other sexual subjects. Tryg to not look or act effemately (if a man), or a mascule way (if a woman), (or vice versa if the sufferer is gay).

Not drsg ways that would make one look effemate (if a man), or mascule (if a woman), (aga vice versa if the sufferer is gay). The flip si of this is when they look at thgs havg to do wh sex of an oppose orientatn and then feel aroed some way, which they then nclu to mean that they liked , which means that they are gay (or straight). Dog a seri of wrg assignments of a uple of pag each that suggt more and more that you actually are gay or wish to be.

Makg a seri of three-mute tap that based on the wrgs gradually suggt more and more that you are gay, and listeng to them several tim a day changg them when they no longer bother you).

I'M NOT GAY, STRAIGHT OR BI

In his Royal Oaks, Michigan, practice, Joe specializ Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy and IMAGO Relatnship Therapy, often treatg men who are qutng their sexual orientatn.

A lot of the time the men e on their own and they’re holdg my book about g out as gay, and they want to know, “Is this me? And I thk ’s very important to state right here that I’m a gay man, yet here I am sayg that most of the time the men who are beg sexual wh other men aren’t gay.

SYNONYMS FOR NOT GAY

” I always joke wh clients that for me, as a gay man, when I’m walkg on the beach and checkg people out, the women are the way.

Wh gay clients, they say they feel the same way; wh bisexual clients, they say they’re lookg at both the men and the women; wh straight clients, they say they’re lookg only at the women.