The Solutn to "Gay" Insults: Freedom of Speech | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW ‘WHO R’ HAS BEE WORD ONLE FOR ‘I HATE GAY PEOPLE’
• WHAT WORDS CAN I SAY TO DECLARE THAT I’M GAY?
• SORRY, I'M GAY
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• SORRY, GAY GUYS, I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR CASUAL MISOGYNYGAY MEN, FIRST AND FOREMOST, ARE {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY NI LANGMARCH 8, 2017/7:56 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}BY NI LANGMARCH 8, 2017 / 7:56 AM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"SORRY, GAY GUYS, I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR CASUAL MISOGYNY","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-03-08T12:56:07.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-03-08T12:56:07.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"NI LANG","KEYWORDS":"OPN","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A FEW WEEKS AGO AN OLD IEND REACHED OUT TO ME ON FACEBOOK WH A PROBLEM: ANNA (NOT HER REAL NAME) WORKS AT A HIGH-END SMETICS STORE, WHERE SHE REGULARLY TERACTS WH GAY MALE CTOMERS, MANY OF WHOM ARE BUYG EYHADOW OR BLH FOR THEIR LATT DRAG LOOK. A CTOMER HAD E , AND, WHEN SHE OFFERED ASSISTANCE, HE REPLIED, “HONEY, I DON’T NEED HELP OM YOU. YOU NEED HELP OM ME.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN ANNA BROUGHT UP THE CINT TO HER FEMALE WORKERS, THEY TOLD HER THE GUYS WHO E EQUENTLY OFTEN LL THEM “BCH” AND “C*NT,” AND GET FENSIVE WHEN WOMEN SAY THEY DON'T LIKE . IT’S OL, THEY SIST, BEE THEY’RE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I’VE BEEN THE DTRY TEN YEARS, AND I N THK OF TONS OF SUATNS LIKE THAT,” ANNA EXPLAED. “I FEEL BAD FOR BEG SO SENSIZED TO .”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE THGS HAPPEN SO OFTEN, FACT, THAT SHE WASN'T SURE IF WAS NORMAL OR SOMETHG MORE SID. SHE FELT LIKE SHE MIGHT BE OVERREACTG. BUT SHE WASN'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MISOGYNY AMONG GAY MEN HAS BEE A MAJOR TOPIC RECENTLY: IN 2014, ROSE MCGOWAN CLAIMED THAT "GAY MEN ARE AS MISOGYNISTIC AS STRAIGHT MEN, IF NOT MORE SO." SOME THOUGHTFUL RPONS LLED THE PARISON TO QUTN, BUT DIDN'T DISPUTE HER OVERALL PREMISE: WHEN TO TREATG WOMEN LIKE WHOLE PEOPLE, NOT OBJECTS OR ACCSORI, A LOT OF QUEER MEN HAVE WORK TO DO.PORTRA DISGTED YOUNG MAN. NEGATIVE HUMAN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE ALL KNOW SOMEONE WHO LOUDLY PROCLAIMS HOW GROSSED OUT HE IS BY VAGAS. THEN THERE ARE THE GUYS WHO THK S FE TO DNKENLY TOGGLE A WOMAN'S BREASTS A BAR BEE HE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO HER. NOT ALL OF ARE GAY DONALD TMPS, GRABBG AT EVERY WOMAN WH IMPUNY, BUT ENOUGH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BEE GAY MEN, FIRST AND FOREMOST, ARE MEN. WE'RE NOT IMMUNE TO THE CULTURAL NDNG THAT WH GROWG UP A SOCIETY THAT VIEWS FEMY AS "WEAK" AND "LSER." EVEN IF YOUR BT IENDS ARE WOMEN, THAT PROGRAMMG IS DIFFICULT TO BREAK. SEXISM AMONG GAY MEN PERSISTS BEE MANY OF DON’T FEEL THE NEED TO CHANGE, PECIALLY WHEN THE HIERARCHY THAT GLORIFI MALENS SEEMS TO BENEF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT MISOGYNY HURTS GAY MEN, TOO. BEE MISOGYNY IS AT THE ROOT OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}GAY MEN ARE STEREOTYPED AS FEME BEE WE HAVE SEX WH MEN, AND SOCIETY HAS A NEGATIVE ASSOCIATN WH FEMY. IT’S AN SULT TO WALK, THROW, OR TALK LIKE A GIRL. WHEN A GAY MAN IS BEATEN UP, OR TNTED AS A “FAGGOT,” ’S BEE HE'S VIEWED AS BEG LIKE A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHICH IS THE WORST THG A MAN N BE. (JT LOOK AT ALL THE "NO FEMME" PROFIL ON GRDR.){BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I TOLD ANNA THAT IF HER MALE CTOMERS E LANGUAGE LIKE THAT AGA, SHE SHOULD LL THEM OUT. DRAW ATTENTN TO THEIR WORDS—WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN, HOW THEY MAKE HER FEEL. EXPLA THAT MIGHT BE FUN FOR HIM, BUT 'S NOT FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE N ALL BENEF OM A LTLE TN, AND STEAD OF BSHG OFF ACCATNS OF SEXISM OR, WORSE, GASLIGHTG OR FEMALE IENDS, WE SHOULD JT LISTEN. BUT IF GAY MEN DON'T EVOLVE PAST THEIR OWN MISOGYNY, 'S NOT BEE OUR SEXUALY GIV A PASS. IT'S BEE WE REFE TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS
• THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

HOW ‘WHO R’ HAS BEE WORD ONLE FOR ‘I HATE GAY PEOPLE’

When a loved one tells you they don’t re that you’re lbian, gay, bisexual, trans or any of the other many scriptors of people our muny, they are tryg to, wh words, wrap their arms around you and give you a big hug. Homophobic and transphobic strangers onle have a pletely different motive for g the same exact words.

The mantra behd hasn’t changed sce the days when people were embolned to simply e gay slurs onle.

It’s as though the Fay Rearch Council put out an APB wh pied-and-pasted “who r” msag for gay athlet.

WHAT WORDS CAN I SAY TO DECLARE THAT I’M GAY?

The msage om this small mory of homophob is clear: If you are an LGBTQ athlete, stay the closet. As gay dads at a time when gay fai were still relatively rare, my hband and I felt the prsure to be mol parents.

On the other hand, I have a number of straight iends who have signifintly more gay iends than I do. At one time or another, I’ve heard most of my gay-ish straight iends utter the word faggot, or at least s shorter siblg, fag.

It mak me squirm when I hear a straight person ll someone a faggot, no matter how many gay iends this person may have. It was a step above the icky, patronizg tone of the woman who asked me all serns to be her gay bt iend.

SORRY, I'M GAY

” Soon after, he published his study of early Christian mment ceremoni—Same-Sex Unns Premorn Europe—helpg to lay the groundwork for the morn gay-marriage movement and, ultimately, my own marriage. Boswell died of AIDS 1994—left for ad not by some townie gay bashers but by an entire natn different to the liv of men who have sex wh Simon 1991Raphael SimonI’ve been lled a faggot more than once, ways that no one would nfe wh flattery. The Republin ernor of California, Pete Wilson, had jt vetoed a bill that would have protected gays and lbians om job discrimatn, and I was a graduate stunt at the Universy of California Irve.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

As turns out, while I was whg to my rosé about all the wokens my hoe, reactnary forc were gatherg, ready to send this untry back to a time when racism wasn’t talked about, trans kids suffered silence, and homophobia had yet to be named. "Sorry For Askg" brgs together longtime iends and award-wng gay adult film performers, Cole Conner and Adam Ramzi, to ask all the qutns (and they mean that lerally).

The boys tch up over their latt happengs and ver a random array of topics, succs, blunrs, new kks, old kks, and other reasons to share regardg the this-and-that relevant to the life of a gay adult ntent creator, pecially as the summer ramps up and thgs start to get BUSY.

Arguably the bt-known cis female director of gay male porn, Mr Pam shar her journey to beg one of the most beloved creative personali the dtry. From her begngs the Bay Area squeakg to the biz almost by accint as an edor, to her creative director posn wh Michael Lus, to spendg eight years as the lead director of Naked Sword Origals, Mr Pam tells of the many joys and ocsnal pas of beg mted to the world of gay adult films, as well as givg glimps of what is next her illtr reer. They also speak about beg an outspoken prence the twter sphere durg the time of their transn, loudly voicg their ncerns about reprentatn gay adult films, at first beg silenced but then kickstartg a movement that would see substantial change the dtry the time immediately followg the BLM movement and thereafter.

SORRY, GAY GUYS, I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR CASUAL MISOGYNYGAY MEN, FIRST AND FOREMOST, ARE {FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}{FONT:NORMAL 800 1.2REM/1.2 "D BOLD",SANS-SERIF;TEXT-TRANSFORM:NORMAL;LOR:HER;DISPLAY:LE-BLOCK;PADDG-BOTTOM:6PX;POSN:RELATIVE;TEXT-TRANSFORM:UPPERSE;}{BACKGROUND:#89308A;BOTTOM:0;NTENT:'';DISPLAY:BLOCK;HEIGHT:2PX;LEFT:0;POSN:ABSOLUTE;RIGHT:0;-WEBK-TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;TRANSN:ALL 0.2S EASE;WIDTH:100%;}{LEFT:51%;RIGHT:51%;WIDTH:0;}LIFEBY NI LANGMARCH 8, 2017/7:56 {HEIGHT:HER;DISPLAY:-WEBK-BOX;DISPLAY:-WEBK-FLEX;DISPLAY:-MS-FLEXBOX;DISPLAY:FLEX;POSN:RELATIVE;-WEBK-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-MS-FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;FLEX-WRAP:WRAP;-WEBK-ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-ALIGN:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-ALIGN:CENTER;ALIGN-EMS:CENTER;-WEBK-BOX-PACK:CENTER;-WEBK-JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-MS-FLEX-PACK:CENTER;JTIFY-NTENT:CENTER;-WEBK-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;-MS-TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;TRANSFORM-ORIG:CENTER;} IMG{HEIGHT:100%;WIDTH:100%;OBJECT-F:VER;}{HEIGHT:574PX;WIDTH:1020PX;}BY NI LANGMARCH 8, 2017 / 7:56 AM{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"NEWSARTICLE","HEADLE":"SORRY, GAY GUYS, I'M NOT HERE FOR YOUR CASUAL MISOGYNY","THUMBNAILURL":","DATEPUBLISHED":"2017-03-08T12:56:07.000+0000","DATEMODIFIED":"2017-03-08T12:56:07.000+0000","IMAGE":{"@NTEXT":","@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT","URL":","WIDTH":1920,"HEIGHT":1080},"URL":","THOR":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","NAME":"LOGO TV"},"MAENTYOFPAGE":{"@TYPE":"WEBPAGE","@ID":"},"PUBLISHER":{"@TYPE":"ORGANIZATN","@ID":","NAME":"LOGO TV","URL":","LOGO":{"@TYPE":"IMAGEOBJECT"}},"CREATOR":"NI LANG","KEYWORDS":"OPN","ARTICLESECTN":"LIFE"}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}A FEW WEEKS AGO AN OLD IEND REACHED OUT TO ME ON FACEBOOK WH A PROBLEM: ANNA (NOT HER REAL NAME) WORKS AT A HIGH-END SMETICS STORE, WHERE SHE REGULARLY TERACTS WH GAY MALE CTOMERS, MANY OF WHOM ARE BUYG EYHADOW OR BLH FOR THEIR LATT DRAG LOOK. A CTOMER HAD E , AND, WHEN SHE OFFERED ASSISTANCE, HE REPLIED, “HONEY, I DON’T NEED HELP OM YOU. YOU NEED HELP OM ME.”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHEN ANNA BROUGHT UP THE CINT TO HER FEMALE WORKERS, THEY TOLD HER THE GUYS WHO E EQUENTLY OFTEN LL THEM “BCH” AND “C*NT,” AND GET FENSIVE WHEN WOMEN SAY THEY DON'T LIKE . IT’S OL, THEY SIST, BEE THEY’RE {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}“I’VE BEEN THE DTRY TEN YEARS, AND I N THK OF TONS OF SUATNS LIKE THAT,” ANNA EXPLAED. “I FEEL BAD FOR BEG SO SENSIZED TO .”{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}THE THGS HAPPEN SO OFTEN, FACT, THAT SHE WASN'T SURE IF WAS NORMAL OR SOMETHG MORE SID. SHE FELT LIKE SHE MIGHT BE OVERREACTG. BUT SHE WASN'{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}MISOGYNY AMONG GAY MEN HAS BEE A MAJOR TOPIC RECENTLY: IN 2014, ROSE MCGOWAN CLAIMED THAT "GAY MEN ARE AS MISOGYNISTIC AS STRAIGHT MEN, IF NOT MORE SO." SOME THOUGHTFUL RPONS LLED THE PARISON TO QUTN, BUT DIDN'T DISPUTE HER OVERALL PREMISE: WHEN TO TREATG WOMEN LIKE WHOLE PEOPLE, NOT OBJECTS OR ACCSORI, A LOT OF QUEER MEN HAVE WORK TO DO.PORTRA DISGTED YOUNG MAN. NEGATIVE HUMAN {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE ALL KNOW SOMEONE WHO LOUDLY PROCLAIMS HOW GROSSED OUT HE IS BY VAGAS. THEN THERE ARE THE GUYS WHO THK S FE TO DNKENLY TOGGLE A WOMAN'S BREASTS A BAR BEE HE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO HER. NOT ALL OF ARE GAY DONALD TMPS, GRABBG AT EVERY WOMAN WH IMPUNY, BUT ENOUGH {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BEE GAY MEN, FIRST AND FOREMOST, ARE MEN. WE'RE NOT IMMUNE TO THE CULTURAL NDNG THAT WH GROWG UP A SOCIETY THAT VIEWS FEMY AS "WEAK" AND "LSER." EVEN IF YOUR BT IENDS ARE WOMEN, THAT PROGRAMMG IS DIFFICULT TO BREAK. SEXISM AMONG GAY MEN PERSISTS BEE MANY OF DON’T FEEL THE NEED TO CHANGE, PECIALLY WHEN THE HIERARCHY THAT GLORIFI MALENS SEEMS TO BENEF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}BUT MISOGYNY HURTS GAY MEN, TOO. BEE MISOGYNY IS AT THE ROOT OF {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}GAY MEN ARE STEREOTYPED AS FEME BEE WE HAVE SEX WH MEN, AND SOCIETY HAS A NEGATIVE ASSOCIATN WH FEMY. IT’S AN SULT TO WALK, THROW, OR TALK LIKE A GIRL. WHEN A GAY MAN IS BEATEN UP, OR TNTED AS A “FAGGOT,” ’S BEE HE'S VIEWED AS BEG LIKE A {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WHICH IS THE WORST THG A MAN N BE. (JT LOOK AT ALL THE "NO FEMME" PROFIL ON GRDR.){BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}I TOLD ANNA THAT IF HER MALE CTOMERS E LANGUAGE LIKE THAT AGA, SHE SHOULD LL THEM OUT. DRAW ATTENTN TO THEIR WORDS—WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN, HOW THEY MAKE HER FEEL. EXPLA THAT MIGHT BE FUN FOR HIM, BUT 'S NOT FOR {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;PADDG:24PX 0;} A{LOR:#354A4E;-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;TEXT-RATN:UNRLE;} A:HOVER, A:FOC{-WEBK-TEXT-RATN:NONE;TEXT-RATN:NONE;} B, STRONG{FONT-WEIGHT:700;}WE N ALL BENEF OM A LTLE TN, AND STEAD OF BSHG OFF ACCATNS OF SEXISM OR, WORSE, GASLIGHTG OR FEMALE IENDS, WE SHOULD JT LISTEN. BUT IF GAY MEN DON'T EVOLVE PAST THEIR OWN MISOGYNY, 'S NOT BEE OUR SEXUALY GIV A PASS. IT'S BEE WE REFE TO {BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;CLEAR:BOTH;}{BOX-SIZG:BORR-BOX;MARG:0 TO;WIDTH:90%;M-WIDTH:288PX;MAX-WIDTH:1440PX;M-HEIGHT:194PX;}LATT NEWS

He also reveals the reason for his name, tells some very funny stori, and livers all wh arguably the sexit voice gay porn. They also reunt the tim they have shared wh him over the years, and get a glimpse of Josh’s shg future of ntual succs as one of gay porn’s absolute greatt.

This trope is meant to be genr-ntral but for some reason, "Sorry, I'm a lbian" ually jt don't work as well (not that "Sorry, I'm gay" works all of the time for men eher). See also Inpatible Orientatn, when the person is actually tellg the tth, and Have I Mentned I Am Gay?, when the person claims they're gay but is never seen showg attractn towards anybody of the same sex.

THE SOLUTN TO "GAY" INSULTS: FREEDOM OF SPEECH

Two occurrenc The Gentlemen's Alliance: Takanari tells Hae and his many female admirers at school that he's gay (and that Maguri is his lover) to dissua them om pursug him; this isn't te. I'm married, not hungry, fected wh seven unknown diseas, gay, pregnant wh lizards, and clilly ad.

After some nfn as to what the words "gay" and "straight" actually mean, she explas that no one regards sexualy that manner anymore and everybody jt do everybody. She seeks to get back together wh him, and he rattl off a short list of reasons why he didn't want to, endg wh "Also, I thk I might be gay. In Stormwatch 46, a rare Breather Episo, Fahrenhe, Jenny Sparks, and Flt are at a rtrant Paris, and Fahrenhe has already picked up a hot guy, but when she lls Flt over to translate what he's sayg, turns out what he was tryg to tell her was he's gay.

The mpy spy send-up Coname: Knockout explor the adventur of super-spy Angela Devl and her gay sikick "Go-go" Fias. He won't take "no" for an answer, so she tells him exactly why she hat guys like him who only see her as a Trophy Girliend and nclus wh mentng she's gay before slammg her door his face. She tri to dissua him by tellg him she's gay, but he isn't put off bee, his words, "there's a first time for everyone".

In The Specials, Amok mak a pass at Power Chick, who thks he's jokg bee she's openly gay, even brgg up that she was on the ver of The Advote. The barista chas him up afterwards and mands to know why he's been avoidg her ever sce, puttg to him that he "mt" be gay bee he talks and thks like a woman.

In Hamburger: The Movie, the ma character is about to be molted by a female character, so he pretends to be gay so she'll leave.

This is odd nsirg she was set on "not takg no for an answer", so you wouldn't thk she would re if he were gay or not.

In the RiffTrax riffg of The Room (2003), Mike's solutn for Mark: "C'mon, jt say "I'm gay", problem solved. When one guy fally approach her, she sudnly be horrified at her "fily", puttg the rg back on and shg to an explanatn of why she took off—only for the guy to cut her off wh, "Yeah, I'm gay. Mart plays along when he is Mistaken for Gay by a woman at the Opera, bee he wants to eva her advanc.

She repli "Sorry, I'm gay, " which don't entirely dissua the man she's talkg to, who tri to fd out if she and her fict partner would both be willg to- you know.

When Bill tells him that she's only terted women he accepts easily enough as he's bisexual (which he suggts is the norm for Roman society) and one of his fellow soldiers is gay.

Robert fally go to her ill-tempered Italian father to expla "I have to tell you somethg: I am a homosexual. In The First Shop of Coffee Prce, Han Kyul hir Eun Chan to pretend to be his gay lover and show up durg the dat his mother has set him up on, to sre away prospective girliends. Inverted on My So-Called Life, as when Rickie fds out that Delia has a csh on him, he tri feebly to ask her for Delia to tell him that she knows he's gay and that she only has a csh on him bee she wants one that "n't hurt so much".

"Oooh, he's cute, you'll have to tie the sock on the doorknob when he around, " she os, and he s, sticks out his hand to shake, and says, "Hi, I'm gay. He mak var foolish exc as he tri to fd the least upsettg way of dumpg her, and claimg to be gay is one of the first thgs he tri. 0 ed the girl-is-a-lbian variant, but tertgly, was treated exactly the same way as the guy-is-gay variant.

At a bar, Cameron (played by Eric Stontreet, whose real-life heterosexualy ma this more amg) succsfully bets his partner Mchell and another gay iend that he n get an attractive woman at the bar to give him her phone number. When he hs off amazgly well wh the girl, he later eaks out over how to break to her that he's actually gay, as he believ she's fallen love wh him. Turns out, she knew he was gay all along and didn't get why he was g out to her - she jt wanted a gay bt iend.

Lowell says this to Liv after they've been datg for a uple of episos and then has to clarify that 's only bee he ate the bra of a gay guy. Sam Malone, The Casanova nng Cheers, had this as his Plan Z: If a one-night stand ever beme too attached to him, he would have one of his guy iends pretend to enter a gay relatnship wh him.