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There's a way to burst through the shame gay men are ma to feel about homosexualy.

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At my school, the very place that I first observed queer cursy, I was sred to e out, fearg my own physil and emotnal wasn’t jt the school locker room where I heard homophobic remarks. Gay people are an abomatn and are gog to Hell if they don’t get right wh God. ” Years later he warned: “If you turn out gay, I’ll fuck you up.

Image me, a young black gay Christian male, tryg to rencile my sexualy wh school, home, and church life. What happens to a black gay Christian who liv a hoehold that hat him; who really believed that he was gog to Hell.

Perhaps was the support of iends, nts, and those around me that ma me not want to feel ashamed about myself anymore, even if that meant God damng me to the begng of senr year, I went om “I’m gay” to whoever asked, to “Can you stop sayg faggot please? A month later, I cid to no longer participate the mentorship program, and every time I was asked why, I ma exc about beg too time, I retreated to my fantasy world, where I was not sixteen and gay a homophobic environment, but a world where I was olr, the future, when I would arrive to a betiful home om a long day at work, and be weled by a hband who lov me and bears my burns on his shoulrs.

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I was thrilled to be leavg and movg on, but I uld see that many of my fellow graduat were facg siar hurdl, on that I had enuntered, and had only masked their tth wh homophobia. In a sea of nned cktails, Gay Water wants to stand out. In other words, where Bud Light has buckled unr prsure as bigotry grows agast the LGBTQ+ muny, Gay Water’s creator Spencer Hodson wants his new boozy brand to be the anthis of that.

“The key issue that Bud Light tapped to was the fact that they didn’t unrstand their re dience and know enough about them, ” Hodson, a gay man, told CNN about the ntroversy that began when the Anhser-Bch beer brand sent fluencer Dylan Mulvaney a n of beer.

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Gay Water, however, is out and proud. The nned cktail is named after a lloquialism given to the popular mixed drk (vodka and soda) orred at bars by the gay muny. “Puttg a product wh the word gay the tle is reprentatn self, ” which he hop reclaims the word om the negativy ’s sometim associated wh.

He thought of creatg Gay Water about a year ago while on a vatn wh his iend that had got a job wh the beverage dtry.

The two chatted about the limed amount of gay people wh , and wh Hodson burnt out om his tradnal day job tech, started the nned cktail. Hodson built up a strong social media followg on TikTok and Instagram durg Covid-19 and is g some of the money om that (as well as om iends and fay) to help fund Gay Water. “Gay is an umbrella term and the ia behd the brand is to be as clive as possible, which means we want alli, we want straight people to be part of this muny we’re buildg.

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For now, Gay Water is sold largely onle (wh a few retailers) and four sugar-ee flavors — watermelon, lime, peach and grapeu — at lnch. Gay Water might not have the ep pockets pared to s petors, like Whe Claw, but “even at small sle, pani of many siz are havg succs makg spir-based seltzers and premixed cktails, ” Bryan Roth, an analyst for Feel Goods Company and edor of the alhol beverage newsletter, Sightl+, told CNN.

“There’s lots of space the spir-based seltzer tegory which Gay Water n play, pecially if the brand n offer a cultural or emotnal nnectn that will feel more excg than the prospect of another peapple-flavored vodka seltzer om natnal or ternatnal rporatns, ” Roth said. Of urse, other drks e the word “gay, ” too, cludg Gay Beer and So Gay Rosé, Hodson noted, which are also tryg to reach the queer muny and offer them an alternative the straight-domated space.

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As the only out young gay kid at my school, I took the advancement of my sexual experienc to my own hands and I did what we all do: I bought a fake ID and h the gay clubs. While I knew wouldn’t be like a gay llege eroti I’d read on (gay non, really), I rather naively wasn’t expectg the fall out.

I realize I fell to that old gay adage of placg my feelgs on a person who, for whatever reason, was never gog to vt them back me.

Worst of all, though, the shame attached to the memori of those first tim marred how I would approach sex for was listeng to Years & Years’ new song “Sanctify, ” and seeg the band’s out gay sger Olly Alexanr talk about how the song was spired his sexual trysts wh straight men, that I realized that the feelgs are way more mon than people let on. Sure, I know all about gay guys havg sex wh straight guys, but felt reassurg to see him scribe the “sat and sner role” he embodied durg those experienc, and to hear the uncertaty and melancholy weaved to the than anythg though, was the repeated lyril mantra of “I won’t be ashamed. Three short stori tailg the explicly penned theme of gay teenaged sex – some boys shy and nervo, their first time to do , others hard, hot and randy; but all greedy for ck.

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