Gay Men and Straight Men as Friends | Psychology Today

Contents:

• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI
• HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND
• HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)
• STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS
• I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG
• HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY
• HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND
• CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?
• GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS
• HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY
• HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS: AN LBGT FRIENDSHIP GUI

Outsi of LGBTQ+-specific meetups, a great way to fd LGBT iendships is actually by attendg meetups that gay people typilly like.

If you get asked to hang out wh a gay iend, do even if you're not really exced about sce 's an opportuny to meet iends. The are great sual plac to meet other gays, pecially if you're to a quieter atmosphere or aren't old enough to go to a bar.

" Obvly, jog a gay-rights group is an optn for meetg gay iends, but you uld branch out to anythg you're terted . For example, you might jo an LGBT service group that plants tre, distribut food or suppli to the homels, or rais awarens for gay rights. While n be easier to go to popular gay spots, don't overlook the fact that gay people are at the store, library, rtrant, etc.

HOW TO HAVE A GAY FRIEND

" They may ask you out, or if they get the sense that you're gay, they may be able to pot you to a well-known LGBT spot town. For example, if you hear someone say, "That's so gay, " you uld say, "How do you thk that would make a gay person feel?

You might read about qutns that you shouldn't ask, the stggl a gay person go through, and what the gay muny is like your area. I’ll never fet beg 15 years old and walkg to my first ever meetg for lbian, gay, bi, queer, and trans youth at BAGLY Boston.

”) The close queer iends we make bee a chosen fay, wh a shared culture and inty, formg the bonds that are sential to our wellns and as gay bars and bookstor are closg left and right, many of have turned to apps to fill that gap, meang we spend more time than ever alone our rooms. LGBT2Q people exist all genrs, all cultur, and relyg on your gaydar is a good start, but expandg your queer and trans cultural referenc will boost your abili.

HOW TO GET A MAN (FOR GAY MEN)

Instagram and Twter make easier to fd other people wh the same terts, whether ’s hedgehogs or aerosol art, and there are so many homo-tastic hashtags.

Try #QueerStyle, #BlackTransExcellence, #QueerFemme, #LbianMem, #BiLove, #GenrEuphoria, #Gaysian, #LGBTTikTok. Or, add your inty to your state, school, or profsn to fd #GayMichigan or #QueerMorehoe or #TransUtah or #PansexualUK and more. That may be surprisg news if you’ve been raised a homophobic branch of your relig tradn, but I promise you—they’re out there, and they n’t wa to wele you (and you may fd really healg to brg your whole self to your fah tradn).

Check out Unlikely Hikers, which specifilly wel and celebrat people who don’t f the classic Patagonia profile cludg fat folks and hikers of lour; Venture Out Project, which is n by and explicly wel trans people; Gay SCUBA Week and Queer Paddlers; and basilly what I’m sayg is that if you want to be out and Out there are fely other ‘mos to do wh your area. If you’re newly sober or revery and tryg to avoid plac, people, or patterns that may not be healthy for you right now, a gay AA or other revery meetg might be a double-w for you: support on your path and a boost for your new social life. ” or “What a great lor story, ” ’s extremely likely they’re sayg HELLO I AM ALSO QUEER AND/OR TRANS AND I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO don’t be fooled if someone don’t “look gay.

STEP-BY-STEP INSTCTNS FOR SHOOTG YOUR SHOT WH GAY GUYS

We’re everywhere and we look like anyone and also please don’t ntribute to the ia that there’s one way to look gay, ol?

Some of the largt LGBTQ events clu Madrid Gay Pri, NYC Pri, the São Plo Gay Pri Para, and Sydney Gay and Lbian Mardi Gras.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T NEED GAY FRIENDS; I WAS WRONG

For gay men, shootg a photo outdoors or showg off toned arms will crease the chanc of someone likg your profile. Volunteerg for an LGBTQ anizatn will allow you to meet other gay men that hold siar beliefs and have siar passns for activism. Jt bee you're a gay man, don't mean that you need to go to exclively gay events or tablishments to meet a mate.

Article SummaryXAs a gay man, n be a stggle to fd someone special, but you n up your chanc by puttg yourself out there and approachg guys you're terted . We’ve veloped a handy gui to walk you through pickg up gay men at clubs, bars, or other venu where you’re likely to meet them. While is possible to meet and pick up gay men at any old bar, you'll have more luck if you go to a gay bar.

Try Grdr, Adult Friend Fr, or Tr to meet gay or bi people lookg to hook up, or OK Cupid or Hge if you’re terted makg a eper nnectn.

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR GUY FRIEND IS GAY

Article SummaryXPickg up a gay man n be timidatg, but if you play ol, act nfint, and be yourself, you've fely got this! At tim, many gay men feel as though they're the only on experiencg certa thoughts and feelgs, on that society still often ems abnormal. So when a gay man first bonds wh someone else who intifi as gay or queer, 's evably a total lightng bolt moment.

One's first LGBTQ iendship is often super-tense; fact, that person n bee jt as important as a first romantic partner.I'm no longer close wh my first gay iend, Jam, bee we're very different people now.

But I still remember clumsily g out to him after a Le Tigre ncert and him sayg, "I thk I'm gay, too." In the months that followed, we weren't always as kd to one another as we should have been, but we absolutely helped each other to accept our sexualy. Here, their own words, are three men's stori of their first queer iendships.Josh, on AlexWhen I first saw Alex the smokg area at my new llege, I was like, "Oh my God, who is that?" He was hot—I thk everyone thought so—but I didn't thk he was gay.

HOW TO DEAL WHEN YOUR BT FRIEND IS GAY

He didn't still a sense of ternalized homophobia me, which was important bee I was a mpy gay guy who'd always been teased for beg mpy. After three s of not feelg like I f anywhere, this ltle moment of acknowledgement om another LGBTQ person meant a lot.Sce then I've met other bi people at Pri events, but Charlie's still my clost "queer peer." He gave me the permissn to be myself when I didn't even know who that was.Bill, on DeanI grew up a small nservative town and didn't know anyone gay at school, so I met my first gay iends through social media. ) To be ank, havg a gay iend group is as important to queer life as iced ffee ’s a sad but te fact that growg up gay n be an isolatg experience.

) On top of that, take to acunt the hurdl of gay culture: beg the closet, g out, homophobia, ternalized homophobia, and velopg ep, unrequed csh on straight acquatanc om high school you barely spoke to, cludg that guy who was two years olr than you wh the dirty brown hair and always wore tank tops durg the summer and uld have moled and now is probably married wh three kids and I’m pretty sure his name was Ian.

HOW TO FD YOUR GAY BT FRIEND

Somewhere along this super gay marathon (and I’m reag om sertg a pole metaphor here, send ngratulatns at your nvenience), you slowly accumulate some like-md iends beyond the people you’re hookg up wh or datg, and beg to realize there are ed others who have wad through the same torrent of emotns and experienc you’ve enuntered. Prevly feelg like the sole gay the universe, like Sigourney Weaver walkg the halls of Nostromo at the end of Alien soaked sweat, you’ve fally found other telligent queer life.

)Wh gay iends, you sudnly have others to miserate wh about eper tails that no straight iend, while passnate, uld ever be properly equipped to unrstand. )But more important than tradg war stori, a group of gay iends is there for you when you need them day-to-day.

), your gay iends are there to get dnk wh on a Saturday night, followed by group msagg each other on Sunday morng that GIF of Kim Kardashian slidg unr bedvers. A member of your gay iend group will also happily be there to take a picture of you for your Instagram, and will be jt as happy to take the same picture 30 more tim wh only slightly different angl bee turns out ’s you who’s the importance of cultivatg gay iendships went over my head durg my personal evolutn, as I ially unrstood my own sexualy as much as I unrstood 11th gra math.

CAN GAY AND STRAIGHT MEN REALLY BE FRIENDS?

And like tryg to figure out the Pythagorean Theorem g a toaster oven stead of a lculator, navigatg my own queerns early on whout gay iends was a mostly futile effort. Asi om beg patient Instagram picture-takers and knowg where the bt parti are, gay iends provid a major key to further unlockg my ner-most tth and the legacy behd .

Though me n make more than, please lift those watered-down vodka sodas wh those brown, brown, wiltg lim higher to the air and make a toast to the gay iends your life. For example, his fay may be vlently homophobic and by cidg that he's gay, you may out him by accint by treatg him different or implyg somethg whout meang to. If you're tryg to figure out if your iend is gay bee you want to date him (as a woman), 's important to remember that jt bee he might be terted men don't mean he's not terted women.

One of the theori about why some people are gay has to do wh the hormon that they're exposed to before they're born.

GAY MEN AND STRAIGHT MEN AS FRIENDS

The hormone exposure levels may manift actual, physil ways which n be a vague ditor that a guy might be gay. It is possible that your guy iend is not gay but stead falls somewhere else on the Ksey sle of unirns and awomens.

Although some people the gay culture may put on a certa voice or a way of speakg, your iend talkg a siar or "effemate" way is still not a very good way to judge. Everyone n enjoy different thgs; jt like a woman might enjoy watchg football, guys n also enjoy thgs that are more monly associated wh women or the gay muny.

The movi he watch and the mic he listens to are also not fair methods to gge if he is straight or gayer than Elton John and Gee Takei put together.

HOW TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GAY

Sometim you might assume that jt bee a guy only hangs out wh girls or jt bee his bt iend also seems gay, then he might also be gay.

Subtly brg up subjects that show him that you're okay wh your iends beg gay and that he don't need to hi his nature around you. You n talk about another iend that is gay or even jt about someone hypothetilly g out if you don't know someone who's gay. Say somethg like, "You know you're stuck wh me as a iend no matter what, but I jt have to ask bee I don't want to make assumptns and e to the wrong nclns: are you gay?

HOW TO MAKE GAY FRIENDS

Article SummaryXTo tell if your guy iend is gay, notice whether he refers to other guys as attractive, which uld be a sign that he’s gay.

Pay attentn to how much he talks about women a romantic or sexual way, sce a lack of tert women uld suggt he’s gay. " If you want to talk about your iend to a parent or guardian, try askg "Would you be okay wh me mentng that you're gay to my parents if me up, or would you prefer that I keep quiet? Acceptance n make a huge different the liv of LGBTQIA (Lbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgenr, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people.