Regrets Lger 30 Years After Gay Couple Had Their Foster Children Taken Away | WBUR News</tle><lk rel="nonil" href="><lk rel="alternate" type="applitn/rss+xml" tle="RSS" href="/wbur/rss"/><meta name="scriptn" ntent="Thirty years ago, Roxbury's Don Babets and David Jean were, by all acunts, the first openly gay foster parents -- until social servic took their boys away. "/><meta property="og:type" ntent="webse"/><meta property="og:tle" ntent="Regrets Lger 30 Years After Gay Couple Had Their Foster Children Taken Away"/><meta property="og:scriptn" ntent="Thirty years ago, Roxbury's Don Babets and David Jean were, by all acunts, the first openly gay foster parents -- until social servic took their boys away. "/><meta property="og:url" ntent="><meta property="og:image" ntent="><meta property="og:image:alt" ntent="David Jean and Don Babets outsi their home recently. 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(Barbara Howard/WBUR)"/></picture><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">David Jean and Don Babets outsi their home recently. (Barbara Howard/WBUR)</figptn></figure></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--ntent hang-punctuatn article-sectn--first article-sectn--centered article-sectns"><p class="">Many view Massachetts as the talyst that led to Friday's <a href=">Supreme Court cisn</a> legalizg same-sex marriage all 50 stat.</p><p class="">But the state's trajectory on gay rights issu has not always been upward.</p><p class="">Thirty years ago, an attempt by two gay Boston men to bee foster parents igned a media and polil firtorm — leavg regret that still smolrs today.</p><figure class="article-fig size-full"><a href="><picture><img class="size-full article-image" src=" alt="David Jean, left, and Don Babets are seen outsi their home wtern Massachetts. After 37 years together, they were married last year. (Barbara Howard/WBUR)" loadg="lazy"/></picture></a><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">David Jean, left, and Don Babets are seen outsi their home wtern Massachetts. After 37 years together, they were married last year. (Barbara Howard/WBUR)</figptn></figure><p class=""><strong>'Daddy Don' And 'Daddy Dave'</strong></p><p class="">Don Babets and David Jean, like others the gay muny, had bee urban pneers, buyg a hoe on Fort Hill Boston's Roxbury neighborhood. Babets, who worked for the cy, had grown up the olst of five. Jean, who worked for a nonprof and was mic director at his church, grew up as one of six. So was only natural, after beg together for seven years, that they thought about kids of their own. They applied to be foster parents.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I had no agenda when I went to do this. I jt wanted to be a parent," Jean said. "I wasn't tryg to prove anythg. I wasn't tryg to stir up the pot."</p><p class="">Babets and Jean were not the first gay foster parents; there had quietly been others — there was no policy prohibg at the time, the only guile was the "bt tert of the child" — but, by all acunts, Babets and Jean were the first foster parents who were openly gay.</p><p class="">The screeng to bee a foster parent was rigoro. Babets remembers a lengthy applitn and home viss wh social workers. Character referenc me om Babets' prit and Jean's pastor.</p><p class="">They were approved. Still, nothg happened for a year, until April 1985.</p><p class="nt-medium">"They lled and said, 'We have two kids and they're 3 years old and one was 18 months old, and would you be open to takg them ?' " relled Babets.</p><p class="">The boys' mother knew the placement was wh a gay uple, and she had no problem wh .</p><p class="nt-medium">"In those days, we were somewhat practicg Catholics, and we took the kids to church and she had thought that was wonrful 'e she hadn't been takg them," Babets said.</p><blockquote class="article-pullquote breakout"><p class="article-pullquote-text">“I had no agenda when I went to do this. I jt wanted to be a parent."</p><ce class="article-pullquote-attributn">David Jean</ce></blockquote><p class="nt-medium">"We did have to buy cloth and buy toys, and that's what I'd do wh my lunch hours," Babets remembered of their first days wh the boys. "In fact, Woolworths downtown Boston beme the place to fd Don Babets."</p><p class="">There was a pet rabb, outgs to the New England Aquarium and potlucks so neighbors uld get to know the toddlers.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I was 'Daddy Don,' and he was 'Daddy Dave,' " Babets said.</p><p class=""><strong>After A News Article, Backlash</strong></p><p class="">Soon they slid to the rhythms of everyday life until one eveng, about two and a half weeks to the placement, the telephone rang. It was Ken Cooper, a young reporter om The Boston Globe. He had gotten a tip that the first openly gay foster uple had taken two kids, and he was wrg unr adle for the morng paper.</p><p class="">Cooper remembers Babets askg him not to n the story, sayg he was aaid the kids would be taken away. Turns out there was reason to worry.</p><p class="">Cooper had already terviewed a proment lawyer om the neighborhood, Fletcher Wiley.</p><p class="nt-medium">"I knew Fletcher Wiley lived Fort Hill — and to try to get reactn om neighbors, and I didn't have a lot of time — I lled him up," Cooper said.</p><p class="">Wiley remembered: "Ken lled me and said, 'Did you know that the Department of Social Servic had given ctody of two foster children ... your neighborhood to two gay guys?' And I said 'What? Are they crazy?' "</p><p class="">That quote, and others, appeared the <a href=">morng paper</a>, and the backlash was immediate. That very afternoon, Babets and Jean got the ll: Social workers were on their way over to take the boys away.</p><p class="">Babets asked for a moment wh them first: "I sat down and I said to the olst, 'They're gog to be takg you to a new home where there's some kids that you will be able to play wh ... and he didn't unrstand, I don't thk, what was totally happeng. They got to the r — the olst one — this breaks my heart to thk about this 'e ... the wdow was partially open and his hands were up agast the r wdow, and he was cryg, 'Where are we gog? Why are they takg ? Where are we gog?' and they pulled away. And that was the last time we saw them."</p><p class="">The next day, supporters rallied around Babets and Jean. Up on Bean Hill, legislators overwhelmgly took a stand agast gay foster parentg. So did edorials the two major daili.</p><p class="">Two days after the boys were taken, then-Gov. Michael Dakis, whose admistratn had otherwise champned gay rights, lled for a wrten policy. The policy then created a hierarchy for foster placement: Fay members topped that list, then straight married upl, and then sgle people. Gog forward, everybody, except relativ, would be asked about their sexual orientatn. That's when Babets and Jean took a stand.</p><p class="nt-medium">"Sug didn't even occur to me and that actually wasn't about havg the kids taken. That was about that policy that says, basilly, that gay people would not be foster parents," Jean said.</p><p class="">So <a href=">Babets and Jean did sue</a>. Nearly five years later, that su was fally settled. Babets and Jean prevailed. Qutns about sexual orientatn were out.</p><figure class="article-fig size-large"><a href="><picture><img class="size-large article-image" src=" alt="David Jean, left, and Don Babets are seen on the day 1994 they went to urt Plymouth to officially adopt the four boys. The uple had earlier had two boys taken away om them by the state. (Courty of the fay)" loadg="lazy"/></picture></a><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">David Jean, left, and Don Babets are seen on the day 1994 they went to urt Plymouth to officially adopt the four boys. The uple had earlier had two boys taken away om them by the state. (Courty of the fay)</figptn></figure><p class=""><strong>'Big Regret'</strong></p><p class="">Now, 30 years later, Phil Johnston, Dakis' head of human servic at the time who was named the su, says the whole thg was mishandled.</p><p class="nt-medium">"In my public reer, is my one regret — big regret. I feel that we should have handled that better, and we should have handled that more fairly, and we should have stood up to the people who were monizg gays and lbians, and we should have told them to get lost," Johnston said.</p><p class="">Dakis cled to be terviewed for this story.</p><p class="">Wiley remembers beg ntacted by Babets and Jean jt after beg quoted that origal Boston Globe article.</p><p class="nt-medium">"Back then I was ignorant and prejudiced, I thought gays would be likely to [be] child molters. I rpected their willgns to al wh a bigot like me and help te me on what was all about," Wiley said.</p><p class="">As for Babets and Jean, they now live wtern Massachetts a large hoe they built at the end of a dirt road. They need the extra space for the four brothers, all unr age 8, that they later adopted.</p><p class="">Standg his livg room, Jean pulls out a certifite. It's om the Massachetts Legislature, the same body that voted overwhelmgly to support a ban on gay foster parentg May 1985.</p><p class="">In florid terms, ngratulat Babets and Jean on the ocsn of the adoptn of their four boys. It's dated May 1995.</p><p class="nt-medium">"It was 10 years later, almost to the day that this was issued," Jean said. "It is a b ironic, isn't ?"</p><p class="">After 37 years together and raisg four boys of their own to adulthood, Babets and Jean were married last year Massachetts.</p><figure class="article-fig size-full"><a href="><picture><img class="size-full article-image" src=" alt="Don Babets and David Jean wh their four sons. (Courty of the fay)" loadg="lazy"/></picture></a><figptn class="article-fig-ptn">Don Babets and David Jean wh their four sons. (Courty of the fay)</figptn></figure></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><p><em>This article was origally published on June 30, 2015.</em></p></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><p class=""><em>This segment aired on June 30, 2015.</em></p></sectn></article><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"><hear class="zone"><div class="zone-ner"><h2 class="zone-hdr">Related:</h2></div></hear><ul class="article-story-group"><li class="story-group-em"><a data-ec="Article Related Lks" data-el="‘Hard To Image': Gay Couple Among 1st Married In Mass. Reflects On How Far Thgs Have Come" data-ea="Click" class="story-group-lk" href="/news/2015/06/26/mass-gay-uple-reflects">‘Hard To Image': Gay Couple Among 1st Married In Mass. Reflects On How Far Thgs Have Come</a></li><li class="story-group-em"><a data-ec="Article Related Lks" data-el="Where It Began: Mass. 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Reacts To Supreme Court’s Landmark Gay Marriage Rulg</a></li></ul></sectn><sectn class="article-sectn--story-group article-sectn--centered"></sectn><sectn class="sectn--bo sectn--bp"><div class="uw bp--rponsive"><div class="bp-ner"><p class="bp-label">Advertisement</p><div class="bp-ntent bp-ntent--centered"><div></div><div id="adslot-484760"></div></div></div></div></sectn><div></div><div class="global-d-ponents onmand--is-playg"><div class="global-player"><d preload="to"></d><div class="global-player-bar"><div class="global-player-bar-left"><button class="global-player-bar-ntrol"><i class="in-play in-play--global-player-bar in-play--psed"><span class="in-play-shape"><span class="in-label" data-note="for-screen-rears">Rume</span></span></i></button><div class="global-player-label global-player-label--live"><div class="global-player-channel"><span>Listen Live</span></div><div class="global-player-tle"><a class="global-player-label-lk" href="/">Loadg...</a></div></div></div><div class="global-player-bar-right"><div class="global-player-x"><svg class="in in-close" viewBox="0 0 24 24" aria-labelledby="tle"><tle id="tle">Close

gay foster kids

Thirty years ago, Roxbury's Don Babets and David Jean were, by all acunts, the first openly gay foster parents -- until social servic took their boys away.

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HOW YOU CAN BEE GAY FOSTER PARENTS OR ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Lookg to bee an LGBT foster re parent or to adopt gay youth? You n change a child’s life by choosg this adoptn path. Learn more here. * gay foster kids *

Of the youth, an timated 5–10 percent—and likely more—are lbian, gay, bisexual, transgenr, or qutng (LGBTQ) all young people, LGBTQ youth foster re need the support of a nurturg fay to help them negotiate adolcence and grow to healthy adults.

Studi by the Fay Acceptance Project have found that most people report beg attracted to another person around age 10 and intifyg as lbian, gay, or bisexual (on average) at age 13. Gay or transgenr people are not more likely than heterosexuals or genr-nformg people to molt or otherwise pose a threat to children. Profsnal mental health anizatns agree that homosexualy is not a mental disorr and is a natural part of the human ndn.

How You Can Bee Gay Foster Parents or Adoptive Parents. As you rearch ways to build your LGBT fay, you may e across rmatn on beg gay foster parents. However, beg gay foster parents this way n be difficult when a child is placed back wh their legal parents.

PAIR OF GAY DADS ADOPT SIX SIBLGS AFTER FOUR YEARS OF NEGLECT AND ABE THE FOSTER RE SYSTEM

Kev Gers explas his experience as a foster-to-adopt parent, as a sgle gay man Los Angel." emprop="scriptn * gay foster kids *

Child welfare agenci like AdoptUSKids provi special trag and rourc to make sure that all LGBT fai workg through their agenci feel wele and prepared for the gay foster re and adoptn procs. Studi have even shown that whout gay fosterg, the untry would lose $87 to $130 ln child re, wh dividual stat losg as much as $27 ln. When you choose to adopt gay youth or foster gay youth, you n provi them a posive role mol of an LGBT dividual, which they may have never had growg up.

Clearly, when you ci to bee a gay foster parent or adoptive parent, you will make a huge difference the life of the child that you wele to your home. A gay uple om Pennsylvania adopted six siblgs so they uld grow up together, after neglect and abe at the hands of their blogil parents and over four years the foster re Anrson-McLean and Rob Anrson-McLean, of Michigan, adopted all six children to make sure they weren't spl up after leavg the foster system - somethg that often happens wh large sets of uple adopted Carlos, 14, Guadalupe, 13, Maria, 12, Selena, 10, Nasa, 9, and Max, 7, on May 23, 2019, which Steve relled an emotnal terview wh Good Morng Ameri this week.

GAY DADS ADOPT 6 SIBLGS, AG 7 TO 14, AFTER THEY SPENT HALF A DE FOSTER CARE

An epiphany durg the early days of the panmic led him to foster young children, and as a sgle gay dad, he’s thrivg. Now Gers, 35, who is also a real tate agent Los Angel, California, is hopg to spire other sgle gay men wh hop of fosterg to adopt their own children.

“I went on YouTube and I was lookg for gay men, who were fosterg to adopt. Then I was lookg for sgle men that were gay, and then was black sgle men that were gay.

I went on YouTube and I was lookg for specifilly gay men, who were fosterg to adopt. Then I was lookg for sgle men that were gay, and then was Black sgle men that were gay.

GAY AND LBIAN FOSTER CARE AND ADOPTN

Havg a child and beg gay, I fear someone wantg to live out their dreams of beg a father through me. Bee for gay men, 's still new for to be able to do this.

HOE CALL: KEV GERS EXPLAS HIS EXPERIENCE FOSTERG-TO-ADOPT AS A GAY MAN

(AP)MIAMI – Sixto Cancel says his ultra-relig foster fay equently talked about their disda for his homosexualy at the dner table, trashed his room and lled him homophobic slurs. "I've had foster hom who pletely said you n't live here if you're gay, " said Cancel, a 21-year-old stunt at Virgia Commonwealth Universy who bounced between half a dozen foster hom while re. "Discrimatn agast gay and lbian youths foster re is prevalent enough around the untry that feral health officials sent a letter 2011 enuragg stat to velop trag for seworkers and foster parents on the issue.

STAT FIGHT DISCRIMATN TOWARD GAY FOSTER KIDS

Whout such support, the feral ernment memo says, gay and lbian youths who leave the foster re system n wd up homels"I've had nversatns wh many youth the system who will not e out bee they saw how staff treated their iends the system after they me out, " said Kamora Herrgton, mentorg program director of Te Colors, an anizatn that helps gay foster youths year, a lbian girl who Herrgton worked wh was kicked out of a Connecticut foster home after the fay's grandmother, who was very opposed to homosexualy, moved .

DCF also has a program liaison every office where seworkers n get referral servic if they are workg wh a gay child or need help tg a foster California, the L. Gay & Lbian Center received a $13.

3 ln, five-year grant om the feral ernment to ultimately fd permanent hom for gay foster youths.

REGRETS LGER 30 YEARS AFTER GAY COUPLE HAD THEIR FOSTER CHILDREN TAKEN AWAY

The center has already traed about 500 child welfare workers on gay and transgenr issu this year and is creatg a curriculum that n be duplited natnally. Massachetts was one of the first stat to open a -ed group home for gay foster teens after child welfare officials said they were seeg too many of the young people livg on the streets. Roughly 100 foster youths have lived the home which is n by gay and straight staffers.

Fdg adoptive hom for gay youths foster re is part of a natnal ph for all children the system, but advot say many are still left out.

Part of their job will be fdg foster fai and mentors for young gay people. The partment timat that about 450 gay youths e to the system each year. Efforts Florida clu a regnal task force on gay foster youths started by the Village Counselg Center the northern part of the state and creased trag for Department of Children and Fai seworkers a 20-unty regn that clus Jacksonville and Daytona Abramowz, a regnal director for the Florida Department of Children and Fai, sent a memo to staff December sayg he's also heard stori that gay youths facg discrimatn foster re.

*BEAR-MAGAZINE.COM* GAY FOSTER KIDS

Gay Dads Adopt 6 Siblgs, Ag 7 to 14, After Foster Care .

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