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data-ttid="SplScreenContentHearWrapper"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK dfqcEG grid grid-ems-2 grid-full-bleed grid-no-gap SplScreenContentHearMa-fNigKG daohZh"><div class="GridItem-buujkM eHLzLy grid--em"><div class="SplScreenContentHearTleBlock-sCMXE jActCi"><div data-ttid="ContentHearRubric"><div class="RubricWrapper-dKmCNX eNRqSb bric SplScreenContentHearRubric-cLHEJQ djShVa"><a class="RubricLk-gRWSOU fTtYjx bric__lk" href="/fashn-shows"><span class="RubricName-fVtemz cLxcNi">Runway</span></a></div></div><h1 data-ttid="ContentHearHed" class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SplScreenContentHearHed-lcUSuI iUEiRd bwDymH dfelga">“I Need to Learn What It Was to Be Me”</h1><div class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ SplScreenContentHearDek-emptdL iUEiRd gwLwxP dJrDEb">Brandon Maxwell on growg up East Texas and feelg seen by his iends and fay. </div><div data-ttid="BylWrapper" class="BylWrapper-KIudk irTIfE byl SplScreenContentHearByle-kvEhqE eonFPJ"><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">By </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/brandon-maxwell-as-told-to-steff-yotka">Brandon Maxwell</a></span></span></p><p class="ByleWrapper-jWHrLH uMYIE byle byl__byle" data-ttid="ByleWrapper" emProp="thor" emType="><span emProp="name" class="ByleNamWrapper-jbHncj fuDQVo"><span data-ttid="ByleName" class="ByleName-kwmrLn cYaBaU byle__name"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BylePreamble-iJolpQ iUEiRd kxuydN gnILss byle__preamble">As told to </span><a class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ BaseLk-eNWuiM ByleLk-gEnFiw iUEiRd hHRAkO haUSoQ eErqIx byle__name-lk button" href="/ntributor/sarah-spellgs">Sarah Spellgs</a></span></span></p></div><time data-ttid="ContentHearPublishDate" dateTime="2022-06-23T16:14:07-04:00" class="SplScreenContentHearPublishDate-bMGEVk bRGsdS">June 23, 2022</time><div class="SocialInsWrapper-hKMEXV ffgPVr social-ins social-ins--standard SplScreenContentHearSocialShare-gSVclr bNxHSm"><ul data-ttid="socialInslist" class="SocialInsList-cHVTIA ivmblD social-ins__list"><li class="SocialInsListItem-mbhR fxaFQj social-ins__list-em social-ins__list-em--facebook social-ins__list-em--standard"><a aria-label="Share on Facebook" class="external-lk SocialInExternalLk-huuzOU cXqAmY social-ins__lk social-ins__lk--facebook" data-event-click="{"element":"ExternalLk","outgogURL":"" href=" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank"><div class="SocialInContaer-huXzUC pMzVC social-ins__in-ntaer"><svg class="SocialInNetworkInComponent-cZaKGz dlOAhZ in in-facebook" focable="false" viewBox="0 0 32 32" width="32" height="32" fill="none" 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eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 SplScreenContentHearGrid-kFpOdh fLkIyA"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE bViSGz ptn SplScreenContentHearCaptn-iOfEOv ckLUKG"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd ftKqkn fNaHcW ptn__cred">Courty of Brandon Maxwell. </span></div></div></div></hear></div><div data-attribute-verso-pattern="article-body" class="ArticlePageContentBackGround-cNiFNN kbAoLA article-body__ntent"><div class="ActnBarWrapperContent-lasBkU cAHp"><div class="ActnBarWrapperComponent-cjwxLS bEeSLb"><div data-attr-viewport-monor="" class="ActnBarWrapper-dhxmQh SFwwF viewport-monor-anchor"><button id="bookmark" aria-label="Save" class="ActnBarButton-dyFOZU dPbgNk bookmark large-screen"><span class="ActnBarSendaryButtonPrimaryIn-isbvyN cAwccV bookmark-button-in"><svg class="in in-bookmark" width="24" height="24" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" xmlns="><tle>Save this story</tle><path class="in-bookmark-stroke" 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data-ttid="ArticlePageChunks" class="ArticlePageChunks-fLyCVG eSsnKa"><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>Over the years I've had this tenncy to say, “Oh, growg up was all great.” The last few years I’m like, “Why did I do that? That jt wasn't the tth.” I would say was not easy, obvly, growg up Texas the late ’80s, early ’90s. There weren't gay people around that time who I knew or regnized, so I always felt like I was different. And I thk that 's somethg that I've always rried wh me my whole life. </p><p>Before I ever went to a birthday party or to school or to a iend's hoe or anywhere, really, I always had that wh me. That nsumed my thoughts and my md before ever gog anywhere. It's like, “I'm different, and this is gog to be a different experience for me. I'm gog to need to fd ways for the people to see me and like me and value me.”</p><div><div class="ConsumerMarketgUnThemedWrapper-iUTMTf jssHut nsumer-marketg-un nsumer-marketg-un--article-mid-ntent" role="prentatn" aria-hidn="te"><div class="nsumer-marketg-un__slot nsumer-marketg-un__slot--article-mid-ntent nsumer-marketg-un__slot---ntent"></div><div class="journey-un"></div></div></div><p>There were a lot of thgs that I went through at that age when I felt unsafe, and I had people sayg thgs to me. So wasn't jt walkg to a room like, “Oh, I'm different.” It was like, “If I walk to this room, is someone gog to say somethg to huiate me? Are they gog to do somethg where I'll be physilly unsafe?”</p><div class="Contaer-bkChBi byNLHx"></div><p>I remember so many tim as a kid gog to the library junr high and high school and tryg to fd rmatn. Of urse, there were wonrful people on TV. You had <em>Will & Grace,</em> or you had Elton John and Gee Michael. And I knew signers like Tom Ford and Marc Jabs. I remember beg so eye-openg g to New York and realizg that there are so many kids like me all over the world.</p><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad---ntent"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot---ntent" data-no-id="35wu0d"></div></div><p>When I got a r I would go to the library and I would try to look up books that had the word gay them. But I grew up a small town East Texas. It's certaly not somethg we learned about school. Whereas now you n Google that, and you would know. I need to go learn what was to be me. I wanted to read about the stori of people who me before me and what their liv were like. When I would e home om those experienc, or when I would feel isolated, I always had the same girliends who would do creative thgs wh me. I'm forever love and grateful to the people who om day one always loved me and saw me. I'm really grateful to not only the people who did that for me, but also all the people everywhere who are dog that for young people right now bee 's really hard to expla how valuable that is.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="RowWrapper-UmqTg HEhan full-bleed-ad row-mid-ntent-ad"><div class="StickyMidContentAdWrapper-fSBzwl drzyIa ad-stickymidntent"><div class="AdWrapper-dQtivb fZrssQ ad ad--mid-ntent should-hold-space"><div class="ad__slot ad__slot--mid-ntent" data-no-id="9j4ww"></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid grid-margs grid-ems-0 ArticlePageChunksGrid-hfxa bDFJoo"><div class="GridItem-buujkM kHPPIF grid--em"><div class="BodyWrapper-kufPGa dUONRr body body__ntaer article__body" data-journey-hook="client-ntent" data-ttid="BodyWrapper"><div class="body__ner-ntaer"><p>I told my mom the Starbucks drive-th when I was home om my first semter om llege New York. While we were orrg I was like, “Mom, I'm gay.” And she's like, “I know,” and we kept orrg and that was pretty much . I thk she said, “A mother knows, Brandon. Of urse, I know that.” And then I told my grandparents the same day, I thk. I went on, like, a g out tour that day. Movg to New York was very eye-openg for me, and so when I me home I told my grandmother and my grandfather. I jt said, “I don't thk I'm gog to get married.” And my grandmother said, “Well, of urse you're gog to get married. Jt not to a woman.”</p><figure class="AssetEmbedWrapper-eVDQiB byBkf asset-embed"><div class="AssetEmbedAssetContaer-eJxoAx dBHGoQ asset-embed__asset-ntaer"><span class="SpanWrapper-umhxW kGxnNB rponsive-asset AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset"><picture class="RponsiveImagePicture-cWuUZO dUOtEa AssetEmbedRponsiveAsset-cXBNxi eCxVQK asset-embed__rponsive-asset rponsive-image"><noscript><img alt="Image may nta Text Word Human Person Banner Advertisement Poster Crowd and Label" class="RponsiveImageContaer-eybHBd fptoWY rponsive-image__image" src=" srcSet=" 120w, 240w, 320w, 640w, 960w, 1280w, 1600w" siz="100vw"/></noscript></picture></span></div><div class="CaptnWrapper-jSZdqE bViSGz ptn AssetEmbedCaptn-fNQBPI fmQnYP asset-embed__ptn"><span class="BaseWrap-sc-gjQpdd BaseText-ewhhUZ CaptnCred-ejegDm iUEiRd ftKqkn fNaHcW ptn__cred">Courty of Brandon Maxwell. </span></div></figure></div></div></div></div></div><div class="GridWrapper-cAzTTK eRggVV grid 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